"Information...Intelligence...Counterintelligence...Backstabbing...Love...Lies...Deceit...Passion...
...That's Me!"...
"You want to
Snoop All Around in
Everyone's Business?...
...Well...
...Right this Way!"
"Yes!...It's just...
Mountain Road?
You and Your
‘is it really necessary to know Everything about Everybody’
Smiles
are...
...I don't know...What do you
think?
This
'What you see...is never what you get!'
Episode
is
brought to you by Spies So Beautiful that
you’ll just…gladly...’Spill the Beans!'
"Hey, Reader...
...just between
Me and You!...
...I'm...
And...
and I broker in Intelligence!...
My Specialty is...
Computational
Espionage!...
You see...
and I have made...
...and continue to make...
...too much to count!
And I like to
keep my
dinero cash-cash
in Hong Kong,
and
Monaco,
and...
especially...
...Oops!
I'm
not supposed to say!...
Well, anyway,
I just
my next assignment
from my
Secret Multinational Employer,
who,
by the way,
rakes in
2 Billion Dollars a day,
365 times a year,
and
using the best of my discrete and
shadowy abilities,
find out the
All-Important
'God Algorithms'
that
all of the 'Top 5
to predict and dominate
their respective businesses niches.
My employer,
who shall for my own safety,
remain unnamed,
just wants to compare
foundational algorithmic postures
as outcome-predicting
data integraters...
and...
I'll see if the
Closed-Source Super-Algorithms of
the 'Biggies'
are
properly 'Realmed to their highest Super Efficiencies!'
Yes!
...
My Working Plan
is this:
I'll just meet with
a person from each company 'in the know.'
And we'll talk...
...in a relaxed atmosphere
about
The "Ultimate, Guaranteed,
and All-In-One Algorithm!...
...one that can
even create all other Algorithms...Twice!...
...
That way,
I'll get to know
where the competition is...
and
my people can remain
insanely profitable--and
secret--at the same time!
And
they also want to
extrapolate their own visions
and concrete expectations,
and global manipulations,
and thus, forecast foreseeable and sequential advances
at least
200 years into the future!
...
So,
I receive the specifics
of my next 'Spyventure'
from a
virtually untraceable carrier pigeon!
...
My first move
is to befriend a
most valuable ally...
...a Dentist!
But not just any Dentist...
I need one
who is also an engineer specific to
Electromagnetic Signal Processing
and
Analytical Predictability...
...on the Nano Scale!
And...
that just leaves two Dentists
in this Country!
This one...
be best suited for this assignment...
and a...Dr.
Pedramo Matami,
...whose great grandfather
was a trailblazing
Dental Pioneer!...
Well, the young Dr. Matami
just happens to be an
eccentric single guy,
...but more importantly...
...he also has a
well-stocked,
highest-tech,
secret lab...
...hidden
in the back of his office...
...to play in!
I know, because...
...I have my Sources!
This Doctor just also happens
to be located in
Mountain View, California...
...right up the street from...
Google Super Campus!
Great!...
I'm about to employ my tools of the trade
on him,
to get what I want...and need!
Doctor Matami doesn't know it,
but
I'm going to make it so
he'll be helpless
to refuse me!...
...
So,
I play my cards...
and now, he's with me
At the hot and heavy
Morocco's,
and with the magical and pulsating
belly dancing music and performers
I seduce him
into
gazing into my eyes...
and I am now ready
to
profoundly hypnotize him,
using my inescapably-attractive,
guaranteed-to-work,
hypnotic contact lenses!...
And, "Clink!"...
just like that...
he's all mine!...
Whoa!...
The Tricks I learned in Spy School!...
Now,
he's obediently responding,
"Yes!"
to my Every Command!
And now, we get up to leave...
Man!...
Just look at my Dentist Accomplice!...
So,
as not to draw attention,
I put his arms down,
and we get out of there!
But, unexpectedly,
a belly dancer bumps him
with her hip...
...which pushes him into another "Wild One!"...
And,
on our way to the door,
...wait
...a third "shifting softie" bumps him...
OMGosh!...
...There are more 'Hips' than 'Tips' here!
...
Finally, we stumble out of there...
and now we're home free!
Now,
I need to quickly get to work...
with my Dr. Matami's help!...
...and finish my
final technical preparations
in his laboratory
and then,
I shall meet some guys from
Google, Facebook, and Amazon!
tonight!...
Then,
I'll see what information
they will freely and happily
volunteer!
So, I'm not actually
'Actively Acquiring' anything!...
Those 'High-Testosterone Hackers'
are always trying to
'One-upmanship'
each other,
especially in front of a
Beautiful Woman!
Believe Me!...I'll
get all the Information I
need...and More!
What can I say, girls!...
'A Spy's gotta do...
what a Spy's Gotta Do!'...
So, with the hypnotized
Dr. Matami's help,
I piece together a
dental veneer that
contains my proprietary
nanoscale radio wave emitter
which gives off
specific low energy waves
that
make people trust each other
more
and reveal things
about themselves!
...And
those are perfect conditions for
those Corporate Boys and Me to dialogue
and get a good information flow going!
I just received
credible Intelligence
that these three guys,
one from each company...
sometimes hang out together...
...I'll find them at the Party,
then
penetrate that group of three
and then,
after while, I'll make
those guys try to
'out-brag' each other
on their respective Secrets,
by asking one of them about
New Insights in
Algorithmic Direction and
Structure,
and go on from there,
to get them 'Blabbing'
And 'Talking Shop'
For A While!
So now,
I'm getting ready
for the Party!...
And
lately,
one of my friends say
that I'm looking more and more
like my
Mother,
who was also a spy...
...and a good one...
because hardly anyone knew of her!
So, I'm on my way...
and my Dr. Matami-Facilitated
Dental Work is working perfectly!...
Okay...so, while on my way,
I call Dr. Matami and say,
"My Sweet Doctor!...I need
you to go straight to bed
and go to sleep...
...comprenda?"
And the Doctor responds immediately, "Yes, Mam!"...
Great!...Now, I'm
at the Hotel,
and
I smile to myself
and think,
"Let's do some
good Ol' Espionage!"
"Hmm, nice
and I'm feeling fabulous!...
Now, I'm looking at
"How dynamic is your
Algorithmic Flow, Big Boy,"
And Igor, readies
himself...and says,
"You've heard of the 'God Particle' in Physics
that
ties all things together?...
Well,
I construct 'God Algorithms'
that can process and conquer
any and all problems!"
And I ask him, "For fun and profit?"
"Not for Fun and Profit...
...I do it
for
Profit...and Dominance!...
I can make my own Fun...
...maybe with you,
Young Lady...oh...
I didn't get your name!"
"Igor, my name is Nalatasha...tell me, Igor...I
Love your name by the way...
...would you ever consider
achieving your
desired algorithmic trajectories and outcomes by
working backwards
in your formulations?...you know...
...reverse algorithmic
"It's possible," admits Igor,
"but the problem you are trying to solve
must have
very specific inputs!...What are
you working on if I may ask?"
"Global
Capital Disruptions and
Invisible Informatics
Manipulations!" I tell him...
And Igor says, "You're a
Woman after my own Heart!"
"That's good,
Igor!...I'll be back...
...I'm going to the
Ladies Lounge!"
And, as she strides,
Nalatasha thinks to herself,
"So far, So Good!"
...
Now,
as She sultrily
makes her
way through the Attentive
Throngs of People,
She catches the
eye of
several
High Tech Movers and Shakers...
And I also get
the attention
of a
possibly
Dangerous Competitor!...
So,
while in the Ladies Room,
I think
"Let's see about some
Fresh 'War Paint!"
so far...
Now...this woman
off to the side
in the Party
thinks,
"There's that Spy
She's trying to
Hog and Profit from
all of the
'Plum Assignments!'......And...
...I'll just bet that
that Little Floosie is
Trying to get the
'God Algorithms'
Formulas
from those 'Company Boys!'...
Eavesdropping!"
...
You'll have Your
...
Okay...I take My Time
...however, I go into a
As I look over the huge
Espionage!'
can do some
Get Just What Ya Want!"
"Excuse Me, Miss,
but...you look way more
than a Programmer!" He says to Atasha...
"Yes!...
...I Am So Much More!"...
...And...
I Know My Bits...But I...
Don't...Byte!"
"Ha ha!...That's Funny!
...Miss...Are You an Investor Angel,
because
I just figured out
how to
make possible
'Algorithmic Transference of..."
And Atasha asks...
"Algorithmic Transference...
...of what?..."
"...Of Organic Consciousness
into
One's Own True
Digital
Self!"
...
"But, before
I expose what I
have to you...can I...
at least know your Name?"
"Sure!...
...and I say...
...
Now...at this
Annual
Big Tech
Get-together,
in this Swanky Hotel,
which has a History
of being a
‘Hotbed of Espionage,’
where
‘Briefcases, Laptops, and Human Capital’
have
unceremoniously disappeared...
without any traces,
never to be
seen or
heard from again!!
At this Hotel,
and others nearby,
there are Recording Devices
planted,
and
all the Tech Companies,
Big and Small,
are sending out
'Tactical Data Acquisition Squads'
which are tasked with
obtaining
‘any Tidbits of Information’
discussed about
any
Breakthroughs and Research Results…
...anything to give the
Recipients a
‘Competitive Advantage!’
And the 'Skulduggery Experts'
are using
any and
all Vantage Points
at
their disposal!
This Agent
across the street
from the Hotel,
Radios her Cohorts,
"I see the Chief Technology Officer
leaving
his Suite now...Calling
Unit Black Hawk....it's clear
to enter and
install the Hardware and
'lift'
any of his Papers and other info!...
...Over and Out!"
Watch Out!...
...In the Beautiful Capital
of this European City,
This Spy Lady
goes to Her Room
in the Hotel,
Floor is my Turf!...
If I see around
here any more
So Nice!"
the new 'Supreme Code' that
is grander than
JavaScript, Elm,
Python, Go, Ruby, Scala, R, C++, and Swift Combined?..."
"Yes," says the Woman,
"I got it from
Now,
this
'Hacker of Intellectual Property'
says,
Please tell me the exact
alignments of the Quantum Coherent
Time Crystals, and the Exact
Materials they are
made from...
And this
'Vector of Subterfuge'
Smiles and thinks,
"I am hooking up
with
a Computer Scientist/Physicist
"That Spy,
Nalatasha Atasha,
is on her Mission
to Scoop Up all the Data and Info
from those unsuspecting
Computer Scientists!...
..But,
I have to get My Portion
of the
'Bragged About'
Intellectual Assets
for the
Corporations I represent!
So, now...
...I'll head On Over to
“We have always had Spies, and
we always
will!”
I secretly downloaded the Contents of that Supercomputer
onto my Thumb Drive,
but now
I don’t know
where it is!"
YES!...IT'S SUMMER VACATION
TIME AT
DENTAL SCHOOL,
AND HSR
(ALSO KNOWN AS...HOLLYWOOD SMILE REPORT),
IS A
SOPHOMORE STUDENT THERE,
AND HE
WANTS TO JUST
'TOY AROUND'
IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN,
AND
GET BACK IN TIME
FOR SCHOOL,
SO,
HE GOES TO
A PLACE THAT
RENTS
'JET CAPSULES'
TO RIDE AROUND IN,
AND RELAX ON THE OCEAN,
AND A
SALES LADY THERE
SAYS,
YOU'LL HAVE
SO MUCH FUN!...
...THERE'S A WATER-TIGHT
COMPARTMENT
FOR ALL OF YOUR GEAR
AND THE SOLAR PANELS,
AND A PART FOR A BED
AND PRIVATE RESTROOM
AND KITCHEN!...
...PLUS,
IT LOOKS COOL
AT NIGHT!...AND AFTER
TRYING THIS OUT,
YOU MAY EVEN WANT...
ONE OR TWO
FOR YOUR
VERY OWN!..."
"AND,
BECAUSE OF THE
SOLID CONSTRUCTION,
YOU WILL NOT
GET ANY
LEAKS!"
"I WANT TO RENT ONE
FOR TWO WEEKS," SAYS
THE OSTROW STUDENT...
SO,
THEY BOTH FINISH THE TRANSACTION
PAPERWORK,
AND NOW,
HIS TWO WEEK RENTAL
IS
'GOOD TO GO!'...IN GREEN!...
NOW,
HSR IS ALL HAPPY,
AS HE GET IN AND
SO HE DECIDES TO CHECK IT OUT...
AND...
IT'S A SMALL
CLOSE TO IT
AND
PARKS HIS CRAFT
BUT HE NOTICES THAT
THE SEAS START TO
'ROUGHEN UP'
SO,
HE CHECKS THINGS OUT
ON BOARD
AND PULLS THE
CAPSULE UP ON
THE SHORE...
HOWEVER,
HE WISHES THAT
THIS WAS AN
May you have many...
...Smiles!
"OMGosh!...The
'Forbidden Flower!"
"What do I bring to the Table?...
Ten Years of Battle
and
The Professor Emeritus of Prosthodontics
also
"I'm ready to jog around the whole
Circumference of the Tooth!"
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