Dr. Hollywood Smiles Report Is...Captured In Hawaii...By Aliens?

 

DOCTOR HOLLYWOOD REPORT

IS INVITED UP TO HAWAII'S HIGHEST 

OBSERVATORY ON MAUNA KEA

AND ON HIS WAY UP HE, OF COURSE, SEES

AND

AND OF COURSE,

BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN, A GUY

STOPS THE DR. AND HE TELLS HIM,

"HEY BUDDY, I CAN TELL THAT YOU'RE NOT FROM HERE, SO

IT'S MY DUTY, AS A HAWAIIAN MAN, TO SHARE WITH YOU SOME

OF OUR MOST FAMOUS SNACK!...HERE YA GO, BUDDY!

"THANK YOU!" RETURNS THE DR...

SO, HSR TAKES THE GOOD SNACK AND FINISHES DRIVING ON UP THE STEEP HILLS

THEN, WHEN AT THE GATE,

HE CALLS IN

AND HE IS LET IN THE FRONT GATE

AND SOON, AT THE OBSERVATORY FRONT DOOR, 

HSR, THE DENTIST/AMATEUR ASTRONOMER

IS PERSONALLY GREETED BY THE HEAD ASTRONOMER RESEARCHER, PROFESSOR 

BERONICA NICULESCU,

"COME RIGHT ON IN DR. REPORT, SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!"

"THANK YOU!", RETURNS HSR, "IT'S NICE UP HERE IN THE RARE AIR,

TO SEE OUR NEW FRONTIER OUT THERE!"

"OH,  YOU'RE RHYMING ON ME NOW? HA HA...WELL,

THE STAFF," SAYS DR. NICULESCU, "ISN'T OPERATING NOW, SO,

 IT'S JUST YOU AND ME AND,"

"AND THE WILDS OF SPACE," INTERJECTS HSR!...

"YES! LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND, DR. REPORT," SAYS THE PROFESSOR...

"SURE, " HE SAYS...

AND THEY WALK DOWN A HALLWAY

THEN THEY REACH "THE BOWELS" OF THE OBSERVATORY

"WOW!" THE DR. EXCLAIMS...

"HERE'S TELESCOPE NUMBER ONE," SAYS THE PROFESSOR...

...WITH ITS PRIMARY MIRROR

AND HERE ARE THE SECONDARY MIRRORS...

AND HSR PEEKS OUT OF A SIDE WINDOW AND SEES, 3,800 FEET DOWN, THE SANDS!...

AND,

ACROSS THE WAY, "OMG!...

IT'S SO  PRETTY!"

"IT SURE IS...I'D LOVE TO GO EXPLORING WITH YOU, DR. REPORT...

BUT FOR NOW, 

LET'S GO GRAB A BITE TO EAT!"

"YES, LET'S," HE RESPONDS...

AND HSR SCARFS HIS FOOD DOWN 

LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!

"BEFORE, PROFESSOR, WHEN WE TALKED ON THE PHONE, 

YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE STUDYING 

MERGING 

BLACK HOLE LANDSCAPES...ANY PROGRESS?" ASKS HSR...

"SLOWLY," RESPONDS THE PROFESSOR, "I'M 

LOOKING FOR MORE CANDIDATES TO GAUGE 

WHAT MAY BE COMMON BEHAVIORS 

FOR SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLES."...

"CAN I SHARE WITH YOU A THEORY OF MINE, PROFESSOR NICULESCU," ASKS HSR,

"PLEASE DO!" SAYS THE PROFESSOR...

"THERE'S A HUGE SPACE OUT THERE CALLED THE BIG VOID, AND I WAS THINKING...

WHAT IF THAT AREA HAD BLACK HOLES IN THE PAST,

AND ALL OF THE BLACK HOLES EVENTUALLY RAN OUT OF THINGS TO SWALLOW UP...

...GRAVITY WAVES AND ELECTROMAGNETIC WAVES AND ALL ELSE INCLUDED?

AND THEY, SO-CALLED "ATROPHIED AND FADED AWAY!"

ONE COULDN'T EVEN MEASURE THE BIG VOID'S DISTANCE IN LIGHT YEARS

BECAUSE...

THERE ISN'T EVEN 

LIGHT AROUND TO HELP FIGURE IT OUT!" CONCLUDES HSR...

"WOW, DR. REPORT, I'M GOING TO RUN THAT THOUGHT 

BY SOME OF MY COLLEAGUES!" SMILES THE PROFESSOR!

...

AND, AFTER THEY FINISH EATING, PROFESSOR NICULESCU SMILES AND ASKS, 

"SO, DR. REPORT, IS THERE A SPECIAL LADY IN YOUR LIFE?"

"NOT AS PRETTY AS YOU, MY DEAR!" HE QUICKLY ANSWERS,

MAKING THE PROFESSOR BLUSH A LITTLE...

BUT...

JUST THEN, HER TELECOM UNIT GOES OFF WITH A REPEATING BEEP...

"UH OH! I 

NEED TO CHECK ON THE GEMINI OBSERVATORY 

RIGHT NOW!...

...AND THAT'S STRANGE--INSTEAD OF RECEIVING SIGNALS FROM SPACE, 

THERE ARE

SIGNALS 

BEING SENT OUT...

NOW, WHO WOULD BE DOING THAT!"

"I'LL WALK OVER THERE WITH YOU, TO HELP!" SAYS HSR.

SO THEY HURRY ON OVER...

AND AS SOON AS THEY GET THERE, THEY BOTH SEE SOMEONE

OR SOMETHING...LURKING AROUND QUICKLY AND FURTIVELY...

WITH THEIR OWN EYES!...

AND THE PROFESSOR AND HSR LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN DISBELIEF!...

PLUS, HE FLASHES BACK IN HIS MIND

WHEN HE HAD A "TOO REAL" DREAM AS A KID,

AND EVEN JUST THE OTHER NIGHT, WHEN AN ALIEN WOKE 

HIM UP IN A FRIGHTENING WAY!...

AND HE HAD TO

RUN FOR DEAR LIFE!

SO, HSR AND THE PROFESSOR STEP PAST THE GEMINI OBSERVATORY DOORS, AND

THEY NOTICE THAT THE POWER HAS BEEN CUT OFF!...NO WAY!...

BUT...

ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY BOTH CAN'T MOVE A MUSCLE AT ALL

AND THAT'S BECAUSE THEY SEE

AN ALIEN OVERPOWERING THEM FROM A DISTANCE!

AND...

THEY ARE 'TAKEN AWAY' TO WHAT MUST BE A "BOSS ALIEN!"...

BECAUSE IT SAYS,

                
"THANK YOU, LEKOLA, FOR BRINGING...THESE TWO

INTELLECTUAL SPECIMENS TO ME...

THEY WILL DO JUST FINE TO START OUR NEW PROGRAM!...

AND HSR AND THE PROFESSOR JUST "VANISH" FROM EARTH

...LIKE THAT!...

...WITH THE ALIENS!

TO BE CONTINUED...