AND HE IS TAKING HIS OWN SWEET TIME, JUST MOSEIN' ALONG...
IN HIS PROFESSIONAL KAYACK...
AND THINKING ABOUT THE WATERFALL...
THAT HE'S ABOUT TO CONQUER!...
AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE HAS FOND MEMORIES OF HIS FAMILY WHEN THEY FIRST...
GOT INTO KAYAKING...
AND HSR FELL HEAD OVER HEELS REALLY HARD FOR THE SPORT...
AS A LITTLE ONE, HE EVEN CELEBRATED CHRISTMAS WITH A COOL
AND HE WOULD PRAY, PRAY, AND
PRAY SOME MORE TO GET HIS WISH OF HIS OWN KAYACK!...SOONER THAN LATER!..
THEN ONE DAY, AS YOU CAN PROBABLY GUESS,
AFTER BEING A GOOD KID AND A GOOD STUDENT,
HIS DAD TOOK HIM DOWN TO THE LAKE FOR NO APPARENT REASON
AND SURPRISED HIM!...WITH HIS VERY OWN KAYACK!
BOY, OH BOY!
NOW,
HE CAN CHECK OUT ALL PARTS OF THE LAKE AND BE A REAL WATER RANGER!...
AND AS HE GREW OLDER AND...
BIGGER, HE BEGAN TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN ALL WATERS...
AND HE WOULD LEARN HOW TO DO SOME TRICKS...
LIKE ROLLING SAFELY WITH HIS KAYACK...
AND AS HIS CONFIDENCE GREW HE WANTED TO GRADUATE TO "SHOOTING THE RAPIDS!"
AND HE STARTED OUT WITH SMALL JUMPS AT FIRST...
THEN HIS BRAVERY GREW...
AND HE COULD NOW PERFORM WITH GREATER EASE AND FINESSE
WATCH OUT!
NOW, HE'S A REAL PRO...WITH HIS GO-PRO CAMERAS
...BEAMING HIS ADVENTURES TO THE MANY ADVENTURE-STARVING, VICARIOUS-LIVING INTERNET VIEWERS...
BUT TODAY...
HSR IS MEDITATING BEFORE
HE MAKES AN EVEN BIGGER JUMP...
SO, AFTER PUMPING UP HIS PSYCHE...
HE TAKES THE DIVE!...
AND WHOA! WHAT A RUSH!
THIS IS WHAT LIFE'S REALLY ALL ABOUT!...
SAY YEAH, BOY!..
SO, HAVING SURVIVED THAT WITHOUT A SCRATCH...
HE GIVES PRAYERS AND THANKS TO HIS "SUPREME PROTECTOR!"
KNOWING THAT WATER CAN BE SO VIOLENT, AND YET, SO...
PEACEFUL!..
BUT HSR IS ALREADY PLANNING HIS NEXT WATERFALL JUMP...
DOWN THE VERY RISKY "BOTTOMLESS WATER GORGE,"
BUT LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT...HSR MIGHT BE CRAZY...
BUT HE AIN'T STUPID...
ENOUGH TO TRY THE "SUICIDAL"
ANGEL FALLS!...
THAT IS...
UNLESS!...
"The wise get wiser...and the stupid get...well...self-culled from the herd?"
"Gladys!"...
"I like that blue color on you," I cheerily say.
"Oh, stop the small talk, Lisa, I can tell when something's up with you, so tell me!"
"Okay, girlfriend!...I've got a big problem!"
"You gonna bore the life out of me again," Gladys smirks back.
"No! But, check this," I continue, "I just finished treatments with my handsome Dentist this morning!
"Big deal, I'm bored already!" says Gladys.
"Shut up, already! Well, I just got the last finishing touches on my teeth curves...and guess what?" I ask Gladys...
"What...you got a new boyfriend?" Gladys fires back.
"No!...Three!...possible ones...that want to get next to me now...It's like my Dentist unleashed the "Natural Magical Powers" of my teeth!" I reveal to Gladys.
"Ain't nobody gonna want you with that spinach
on your teeth!" says Gladys.
"Oh, thanks! I'll get it off! Well anyway, I know that I have good genes and all of that, I mean, guys can see that I have "Model-Good" looks on the outside,
And now, I'm finally finished fortifying my grill, girl!...To make me complete!" I tell Gladys.
"If you ask me, I know that you ain't all there," retorts Gladys.
"Forget you!...but I can't forget my hero Dentist!"
"I can still remember the day when he first walked in and saw me...He didn't give up on me!"
"He looked me in the eyes and promised me that he couldn't make me the most beautiful woman in the world...
..."But"...he said..."I can, however, make you...the most beautiful woman that you can be...
"But, hey," the Dentist comments, "you're already stratospherically way up there
on the "Gorgeous" and "Adoration" charts, anyway, young lady!"
He also said that he could make me and my smile the "most irresistible to behold!"...
...and powerful enough to put almost any guy in a stupefied trance!
And I asked him "How could you separate the two?"
"You mean stupefied and trance?" he asks.
"Haha, no. How can you make regular teeth Magical?" I return.
"Let me 'splain it to you simply," he starts...
"If your dental lines and curves strictly follow the rules, laws, and the dimensional ratios of Nature, which I would be happy to help you comply with...you'll not only stand out in a crowd...you will draw a crowd around you"...
..he says as he stares deep into my eyes."
"Well," I confess to him, "I would like a little more attention...My last boyfriend left me because he wanted more space...I know that he actually wanted more space from my teeth and breath...that's why!"
I continue, "So, Doctor, there's a difference between just fixing teeth the regular way, and, as you put it, the Magnetic Way?
The Doctor responds, "But of course!"
"Simple math...the laterals are precisely smaller than the centrals in width...
...and the height to width ratio in Nature is a difference of nearly 25% on the Upper Centrals...
These spacial relationships actually reflect the way Nature planned it!
These add the Spark of Beauty and Aesthetics and...
...as you might know, the human eye is drawn to difference or imperfection...
however, and get this, if there is no imperfection, the eyes go on searching and searching for imperfection...
So in that search for imperfection, if there is none to be found,
...then our minds keep going on and on...into a "Trance State of Search"...
...where we go into a continuous loop...and sort of "go duh!"...
So...
...when people start staring at you and your teeth...and I guarantee you that they will...and they "go duh!"...Don't blame me or yourself!...
It's just the "Nature Of Things!"
These "Golden Proportions" are seen in all of Physical Nature...Look it up on the Internet!...you'll see!
And then he said, "My work with you is done now... at least for six months!"...he smiles...
"Now go outside in the sunshine...
And show your "Sunshine!"" smiles the Dentist as our appointment concludes.
So, I now take a look in the mirror...
and it looks "normally-good" to me...
But as I walk outside on the street outside of the office, people are glancing at me as I walk by...
...and some of them twice
...I could get used to this new attention!
And I tell Gladys, "For the first time, I threw my head back and smiled and laughed out loud,
almost like I was a little cray cray!"
"And, Gladys," I try to shake her up...
"Ho, Hum...what now!" she speaks out.
"Of all people...I saw my ex... right there!...and he couldn't keep his big eyes off of me, and asked could we still "see" each other!"
"And you said yes?" Gladys asks.
"No! Not him again!... because I know that he's now going steady with a person I know!"
"I'm moving on!"...
"So if you've got something to say...just talk to my hand!" I told him!
"So, after all that, I make it on over to the mall...and a guy comes up to me
...and says "Hi! I'm into Real Estate. I'm a broker and I specialize in the sales of Large Castles
...around the world!"
"And why are telling me all of this," I ask.
"Because, even though I am seeing you for the first time...right here and right now...
...I want you to be part of my future family!...
You're just what the Doctor ordered!" he gushes.
"Why...are you sick or something?" I inquire.
"No, but, I'm finally getting my own castle...
And I would love for us to raise a royal family!
I've dreamed of beautiful castles
...ever since I was tiny!...
We'll even have our own Royal Crest!
My parents are the King and Queen of Inchantedlandia, just north of Leitchenstein,
...and it has the mountains with the most snow in the world!...
and it keeps getting more!
But, they have been urgently waiting for me to get married and carry on the lineage" he pleads.
"Gladys...I was, of course, taken awayback by such directness, but we talked and I took his number.
And then, I met this cute second guy when I went to the bank"...
...and this man, who was in the International Investments area, keeps looking at me, and later, he comes over to me"...
and says, "Hi there, my name is Florenwing."
"Of Florenwing Fashions?" I perk up and ask.
"Yes! I see you from way over there, and it's very very obvious, that you have that...that..."juiced-up" and intangible vibe and radiation all about you!," and he continues...
"And, immediately, I know that you are the perfect woman to be the model/spokesperson for my new ultra-luxury and form-fitting lines for the curvy
and the svelte-ty
globally-aware woman!"says Florenwing, sounding desperate to close a megadeal!
I tell him, "Oh my gosh, I'm saving up to buy one of your pieces, right now!"
And he banters back, "If you become part of our team, you can get all you need for free, but we need to do lunch...I don't want to let you, and all of these great opportunities, slip away!"
So, of course, I act like I really don't care...but I slowly snatch his card!...then leave...
Oh, yes, and Gladys...please bear with me on this last one...I've got to tell you about this third guy I met today!
I was walking to the front door at "All Week Fitness," you know, getting ready to do my squats and stuff to keep my thighs and my "lumps" toned and ready...
And I noticed this guy dropping off his brand-spanking-new Bentley
...to the fitness valet!
And he sees me, then takes two more looks, then walks over to me
and introduces himself, "Hi my name is Keevan Molaar...
"and I just got a New Car right here, and...
...maybe you're my New Love!
"I'd like for you to be the first lady and hopefully...
the only lady that I let "Ride With Me!"...Tell me...
"Are you in movies...
because you look so...so...
breathtaking!" he adamantly observes.
Why, thank you...but no, I'm not an actor." I tell him.
"Well," he says, "I'm a lawyer in solo private practice, and last night I just won my clients a four billion,
with a "b," dollar judgement!"
"And the clients gave me a 30% cut, which is $1.2 billion,
so I'm set now"...
"But, I'll keep practicing!
..."I'm buying my parents a new house...
..."and I'm ready to start making a family...
"I love your look and...
"I know that we will make many beautiful babies together," he also adds...
"But, I'm not trying to buy your Love...I'm trying to Love
your Love!" finishes Attorney Molaar.
"Hey, Lisa, I'm Googling that Molaar lawyer right now!...
'''and you're right...He did a small class-action lawsuit against Milliteek Industries and it ballooned big time, and boy...wait...does he have a cute brother?" probes Gladys.
"Help me Gladys," I beg her..."I need to know which man I should go out with to the New Year's Party!"
"You should invite all three of them and...let them fight over you!...
..."just like in the good old days, girl!...
"then your heart will let you know...
"But, I'll help you through this...
...under one condition!" gambles Gladys...
"And what is that..., you hustla'?" I snap back and smile at her with my Big New Fireworks Smile!
Gladys takes a deep breath, then tells me, "That you help me meet the two you don't want!...
...and...
...give me the name of that Dentist, girl!" rejoices Gladys!
"Gimme...
...Five!"
May you have many...the wind and the rain are Mother Nature's "washing machine?"...quick--think of something!...if the "news" bothers you too much, just read this blog!...smiles!
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