...you're here!...Hey, please...open up this _ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _n' gate!"
..."so I can split outta here!
Thanks,
Lady!
I'm "Super Bubba the Turkey" aka "El Turk!"
And I don't want to be on that Hi Tech CEO's dinner
table!"
They think that they can just buy up everything!
Well, thanks for saving me!
You and I
are going to talk more about this,
later in this blog post!"
"Hello, Reader!... I am the "Official Greeter" for this Episode, and
you are entering at your own
risky behaviors...
So, you want to go first?...or...
...shall I?"
"Good, I'm the first one in this place!...
I'm going to sit
Front Row Center!"
"I've been a "Groupie"...for a
long time!
And I just love all the benefits!"
"OMG!
HSR is walking upstairs
right now!...
and already...
I'm starting to melt!"
"Hollywood!....
I came as quickly as I could...when you told me you have heartburn!
As an Emergency Room Physician...I just want to help
Oh!...You don't have heart burn...
You have a "Heart Ache" instead?
Well,
I'm sure that I have something on me to...
help you feel better!"
"My dear Doctor Report...
I "Thank You" for Giving!"
"An Official "What's Up!" to you, Reader!
I am
the "Exhalted Narrator On High!"...for
This Installment!
I had to beat out a whole lot of Competition to get this spot!...
But the best part about winning this Competition
for Moderator
is that I get a
a "Whole Year Supply of HSR!...
"I'm sending out a call for
any messages or tributes or witnessing
for and about HSR,
with his sweet self, who holds ladies in such high esteem that
he's
"The World's Most Wanted Homo Cybergraphicus!"
"Hello, and thank you, Mz. Moderator...
Doctor Report...
I'm Sudhanya Bhattacharya, and,
I know that our worlds consist of
what we see and
what is around us,
and I count my blessings!...
I'm alive!...and I have
you, and you
have me!"
"Miss Moderator, thank you!...
Where the Sun, Sea, Sand, and the Sky
all come together...
that is where
you can always find me,
my "Honeysuckle HSR!""
"My Moderator! I have a rhetorical question"...
"To be..or not to be?"...
that is one of the questions, and another one is
"To be, or not to be...
...loved by My Hollywood Man?""
HSR is such a blessed man, and Dentist,
it's no wonder
that he has this huge following!
But, I hope today's adventures
leave him in one piece...one gorgeous,
warm, and squeezable piece!"
"Oh, look!...
HSR is getting better
with water skiing!
Show off!
Hey...now this here's
more like HSR!
People and pets always want to
join in his fun!
Wow!...looks like we have
some good stuff to fry!
"The way HSR holds me tight...mmm, yeah!
Last night was too much!
I guess the only thing I can do is...
...where's my cell phone?"
What are you talking about....this is
standing straight!...
"When HSR comes in the room
"I'll just step back
and let things speak for themselves!"
And today's Official Story Version is brought to you by
the makers of the "Moon Projector!"
which can beam a good signal
all the way to the
Moon's surface
and all of us can watch it
in the sky!
OMG!...There's
Hollywood!"
Okay... you and your
"one for you, one for me, one for you, two for me!"
smiles
know that the best time to view "Moonvertising" is when the Moon is in
the
dark New Moon phase!...
That's great for contrast!
But
...things might not be so great
for HSR
because, the preface last time in
HAS HSR TREKKING UP TO HAWAII'S HIGHEST
OBSERVATORY ON MAUNA KEA
AND AFTER PASSING SOME
INDIGENOUS, PRETTY TREES
AND AFTER PASSING SOME
INDIGENOUS, PRETTY TREES
A GUY
STOPS HSR AND SHARES WITH HIM SOME OF
HAWAII'S MOST FAMOUS SNACK!...
SO, HSR MAKES THE REST OF THE TRIP QUICK, SHORT, AND SWEET!...
THEN HSR, GETS IN THE MAIN GATE
AND IS PERSONALLY GREETED BY
THE HEAD ASTRONOMER RESEARCHER, PROFESSOR
VERONICA NICULESCU,
AND SHE SHOWS HIM AROUND THE OBSERVATORY
...WITH ITS PRIMARY MIRROR
AND SECONDARY MIRRORS...
AND HSR ASKS THE PROFESSOR, "WHEN WE TALKED ON THE PHONE,
YOU SAID THAT YOU ARE STUDYING
MERGING
BLACK HOLE LANDSCAPES...ANY PROGRESS?" ASKS HSR...
"SLOWLY," RESPONDS THE PROFESSOR, "I'M
LOOKING FOR MORE BLACK HOLE CANDIDATES TO
POSSIBLY DEVELOP NEW THEORIES
ABOUT WHERE THE INGESTED MATERIALS END UP...
...DOES IT GO TO A NEW UNIVERSE INSIDE THE BLACK HOLE,
OR THROUGH A "WORM HOLE," ONLY TO BE EJECTED AND
SHOW UP
WHO KNOWS
WHERE ELSE!"
"CAN I SHARE WITH YOU A QUESTION OF MINE,
PROFESSOR NICULESCU," ASKS HSR,
"PLEASE DO!" SAYS THE PROFESSOR...
"BLACK HOLES ARE LIKE THE
SHARKS AND VACUUM CLEANERS
OF THE UNIVERSE, RIGHT?" ASKS HSR..
"MAYBE," RESPONDS THE PROFESSOR...
"WELL," CONTINUES HSR, "IF BLACK HOLES WERE SO "ALL THAT,"
THE UNIVERSE, OVER BILLIONS OF YEARS,
WOULD HAVE BEEN SWALLOWED UP AND
GONE RIGHT NOW, RIGHT?"
"MAYBE," SAYS THE PROFESSOR...
"I THINK THAT THERE'S TOO MUCH
MATTER, ANTIMATTER, DARK MATTER, AND EVERY OTHER MATTER
OUT THERE!
AND SOME STUFF PASSES BY BLACK HOLES UNSCATHED!
"DR. REPORT," SAYS THE PROFESSOR,
"IF SUBSTANCES GETS PAST THE EVENT HORIZON
AND IT REACHES WITHIN THE RING OF SINGULARITY...
IT'S ADIOS, AMIGOS!...BUT THE QUESTION IS...
HOW LONG WILL THIS UNIVERSE LAST,
BILLIONS OR TRILLIONS OF YEARS OR MORE?...
...AND WILL...
THE BLACK HOLES FINALLY WIN,
AND WE END UP WITH ONE GIANT COALESCED BLACK HOLE...
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THAT?...AND
BETTER YET,
CAN
IT BE WITNESSED AND VERIFIED?""
"GREAT QUESTIONS,
PROFESSOR!"
SAYS HSR...
...
PROFESSOR NICULESCU NOW SMILES AND ASKS,
"SO, DR. REPORT, DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL LADY?"
"SHE MIGHT BE YOU, MY DEAR!" QUICKLY LAUGHS HSR,
MAKING THE PROFESSOR
SMILE A BIG...
BUT...
JUST THEN, HER BEEPER UNIT GOES OFF...
"UH OH! I
NEED TO GO TO THE GEMINI OBSERVATORY
RIGHT NOW!...
...AND THAT'S STRANGE--INSTEAD OF RECEIVING SIGNALS FROM SPACE--
THERE ARE STRANGE
SIGNALS
BEING SENT OUT...
NOW, WHO WOULD BE DOING THAT!"
"I'LL GO WITH YOU!" SAYS HSR.
SO THEY HURRY ON OVER...
AND IMMEDIATELY, THEY BOTH SEE SOMEONE
OR SOMETHING...LURKING STEALTHILY...
RIGHT THERE!...
AND THE PROFESSOR AND HSR
CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THEY JUST SAW!...
PLUS, HSR FLASHES BACK IN HIS MIND
WHEN HE HAD A "TOO REAL" DREAM AS A KID,
WHEN AN ALIEN WOKE
HIM UP IN A FRIGHTENING WAY!...
AND HE HAD TO
RUN FOR DEAR LIFE IN HIS DREAMSCAPE...
NOW, HSR ABSOLUTELY BELIEVES THAT THERE ARE
"E.T."S AMONG US!...
...
SO,
HSR AND THE PROFESSOR ENTER
PAST THE GEMINI OBSERVATORY DOORS, AND
THEY NOTICE THAT
THE POWER HAS BEEN CUT OFF!...NO WAY!...
BUT...
ALL OF A SUDDEN
THEY BOTH CAN'T MOVE A MUSCLE AT ALL
AND THAT'S BECAUSE THEY SEE
AN ALIEN OVERPOWERING THEM FROM A DISTANCE!
AND...
THEY ARE TAKEN TO WHAT MUST BE A "BOSS ALIEN!"...
BECAUSE IT SAYS,
"THANK YOU, LEKOLA, FOR BRINGING...THESE TWO
INTELLECTUAL SPECIMENS TO ME
TO START OUR NEW PROGRAM!...
"YOU TWO...COME WITH ME!" SAYS
THIS "ONE"...
SO, THEY CLIMB INTO THE ALIEN SHIP...
"GO DOWN THIS WAY," THE ALIEN BARKS...
"HA HA...YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT! HA, HA!," SAYS THIS
ALIEN!...
"AND NOW, TURN INTO HERE...THESE ARE
YOUR QUARTERS!" IT SAYS...
SO WE WALK IN AND SEE
SOMETHING THAT MIGHT INVOLVE A LITTLE MORE
THAN SLEEPING!
...
SUDDENLY, WE FEEL THE SHIP MOVE AND TAKE OFF, AND
IN NO TIME, WE'RE
OUTTA THERE!
AND LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW, WE TRAVEL
LIKE NEVER BEFORE!
"PROFESSOR!" SAYS HSR, "I'M SCARED!...I SAW A SCENE
WHERE SOME ALIENS DID SOME
UNSPEAKABLE THINGS!"
"WELL, THEY HAVEN'T HURT US YET," SAYS PROFESSOR NICULESCU,
SO WE HAVE SOME VALUE, RIGHT?"...
"MAYBE SO...HEY! LOOK AT THAT
STUFF OUT
THE WINDOW...I'VE NEVER SEEN
THESE BEFORE!
NOW HSR LOOKS AROUND THE ROOM, AND THE PROFESSOR,
IN NEED OF SOME REASSURING, COMES CLOSE TO HSR
AND SAYS,
"PLEASE, WE MUST GET THROUGH THIS...TOGETHER!"
"YES, WE SHALL, PROFESSOR!" SAYS HSR AS HE GIVES HER A
SWEET KISS AND A TIGHT SQUEEZE!...
AND THEN...
ANOTHER SMOOCH!...
BUT THEN, THE DOOR OPENS...
AND HSR SAYS," I SEE THAT THERE'S A
NO-KNOCK POLICY HERE, HUH!"
"VERY FUNNY, DR. REPORT...WE
KNOW WHO YOU ARE!...
COME WITH ME NOW!"
HSR IS GRIPPED WIH A FORCE THAT MAKES HIM COMPLY...
AND HE IS TAKEN TO A ROOM...
"YOU MUST COMPLY WITH ALL REQUESTS
THAT ARE REQUIRED OF YOU...OR ELSE" SAYS THE ALIEN...
"OR ELSE WHAT, YOU'LL THROW ME OVERBOARD, HUH!?" REBELS HSR!
SO, THE ALIENS WATCH HIM
WALK IN...
AND HSR SEES
SOME NICE APPOINTMENTS...
AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, HE SEES
A FEMALE
ALIEN!
OH NO!
AND SHE WALKS TO HSR AND SAYS,
"I HEAR YOU HAVE A BIG REPUTATION...
...SHOW ME!"
"Thank you, Oh Great Sun...for...
warming us up!"
Aaah, Yes!...
I just love the big city!
OMG!...This famous artist...or rather
"Arteeest"
is at the museum
now!
I just love her work
...and so do many
others!
But...
upon leaving, I see this kid crying
on the sidewalk...
And he's saying that his pet turkey is gone...stolen...
and it's
Thanksgiving,
and he knows he'll never see his pet
again!
That's sad!
This reminds me of another kid
that felt bad
about something!
...
My name is Doctor Danny Dentation...
I'm a Dentist, and
I have a farm upstate and
I think I have just had the last straw!
I'm sick and tired of Everyone picking on Turkeys!...
Every year!...
Ever since the Pilgrim Days!
If we don't stop...
There'll be no more Turkeys!
You know the story!...
...The families get together
for fun, and good times, and,
yes!...Food!...Turkey!
OMG!...I still have a soft spot for cold
cranberry sauce and
Candied Yams!
Now, don't get me wrong...I grew up with the Turkey and Thanksgiving thing!
There are Parades
with memorable characters
that are the
crowd favorites!...And the Football
Games, and stuff, but
there are also the jokes
that are sort of
insensitive!
I know that if I was a Turkey...
...around this time of year, I'd
be so scared that I would
find it hard to control myself!
And I would immediately
scram...any way that
I could!
And many people just love to hunt
them
for
"Sport!"
But Turkeys do
fight
back!
They'll run up on you...
and maybe run you
out of town!
So today, I'm going to go out and start the "Shush Farm!"
I'll call it "Shush" as a code word to "tell no one about it!"
...
So now, I'm driving up into the
"Sanctuary City... to save the Turkeys!"
Now, there's my place
for them to stay!...
All Turkeys are welcome...
Black ones
white
ones
brown ones
and even green and blue ones...
plus all the other colors...
...of the Rainbow!
Virtual ones
are welcome
too!
You know my dog's name has to be
Fido!
I still try to do the living here naturally,
where the hens can lay their eggs where they like...
and the chicks are free to roam
as much as
Mom lets them!
Do the little chicks have funny
dreams?...
I like seeing the little ones grow
and get bigger
and their personalities
start to emerge!
Gimme a kiss!
Just Kidding!
Oh man...the word about this free "Sanctuary City For Turkeys"
gets around fast!
Here's thousands of them!
They're coming through the back way, too!
On the way over, some are checking out a
dead predator!
"The Wicked Witch is dead!"
So, some of the birds are just kickin' it!
in the shade...
"Gobble, Gobble!
You pretty thing!
OMG!...it's a bird...it's a plane...
It's a...
Turkey!...
...so happy!
There's enough food for
everybody!
...
Uh oh...Something's up!
The Ostriches and
the Turkeys can feel a change
in the air!
It's starting to snow...
a lot!
Everybody!...Now!...
...in the
warehouse!
Let's go!
Hurry!
It's coming down
hard!
Where'd the grass go!
...just like that!
All of this reminds me of a TV
Show!
Oh no!...
I hear some
wolves...that might be
hungry!
Okay...everyone's
inside...
Wow!...I can see
some coming from
both
sides!
I know...I'll quickly get on my "cellie"
and call for neighborly back up!
And these people are gung ho!
...
However,
I tell them to
just fire
some warning
shots!
"Aww, Doctor, you know that I love me some
Wolf Meat!"
Well, the coast is clear and those wolves
won't be coming back soon!
All right,
...back outside!
So, the weather finally gets back to being just right again,
and everybody's happy!
And "Big Turk" sees the lady
that helped him at the beginning of the show,
...
And the Turkey walks up to her...and
Big Turk says,
"Hey, young lady, I'm glad that you're happy
that you saved me...and
I'm very happy, too!
And I want to thank you for
jiggling that cage a little bit back there
...sos I could
shimmy out through it!
Freedom feels great here
at the "Shush Ranch!"
I plan to cool it here, forever!
Here, at this Ranch, we never have to say,
"Okay, Lady...put down the knife and
step away from the turkey!"
We have lots of love here!
So, Happy Thanksgiving, to you and to all People...
Just try being a Vegetarian
this year...
There's lots of fruits and vegetables...
to be thankful for!
Have some Ribs
or some Chicken, instead!
Plus...
I want to be around to enjoy Christmas
with my Family!
So, People!...
Peace out and
let's all get along...Ya Hear!"
"My Beautiful Man...
My name is Paya Agarival...
When I look deep into your eyes,
I see
the start of a
"Whole New Universe...waiting to happen!"
Now that I think about it...
HSR did
everything I asked him to!
May you have many...
"Whenever I'm on stage,
I want to deliver the best performance I can!...
And I use all of my attributes to get the point across...
like twists and turns
and especially close up
and far away gazes
and when I pretend that I am performing for only you, HSR,
that's when...
I never get sitting ovations!"...
"Honest, Becky!...
I saw Hollywood here just the other day!
No, I wouldn't call him a "Long Lost Love"
although I would be "Lost Without His Love!"
But...wait...is that...
...Yes!...it's HSR...
coming over the hill now!"
OMG!"...
"I just can't get enough of Nature
and natural things, the trees, the sunshine, the air
...why...I love and cherish every breath I take
and every day I wake!
and every step I make...
but...
my next project is to set things up
so that I can hug
Hollywood in one arm
and a tree in another!
...smiles!
"My Goodie-Woodie,
I'm reaching out, because
I yearn your touch again!"
"I understand that
--how are you going to believably make the Love Toothbrush® product
and tell people about it, but
not talk about...Love?"
"Hollywood, Sir...
I'm trying to decide which is most preferable...
...Love...
or...
"Bye bye,
Holly-Honey!
Dr. Report...
before you turn the lights out...
and we all leave...
can you give me a
"Quickie Czechkoslovakian!"
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