I'm Using My Love Toothbrush®"
"Hey, Hollywood,
This Halloween I'm a
Warm And Fuzzy and Huggable Me!"
"I used to do Monkey Bites
but,
I Graduated!"
"Hi!...
Been to a
Halloween Party yet?
Well, we're having one
right here,
and right now!
So...
just...
join us!"
"I can see the
Halloween Party
from here!...
It Loud and Bumpin'!...
I think I'll
Dress Up
and
make it on over!"
"To Bite
or
Not To Bite!...
...That is the Question!"
"Hello Folk!...
I know for a Fact that...
once you've been Bitten,
you can't help
but Bite!...
So Bite Back!
Bite Back For Your Rights!...
More and More!...
Just look at Me!...
I'll Bite You in a Second!
...and Feel Good About It!
But I do it Artfully!...
It's like Plastic Surgery
for your
Sternocleidomastoid Muscle!"
"Hey!...
"The Freaks Come out At Night!"
is my Favorite Song...Oh
it's yours too?"
"Cool!"
"Yo!...
I know you're waitin' for this!"
I am
"The Woman Who Teases Before She Goes All In, Doesn't Crash On The Freeway, And Loves To Do Her Thing!"
and
"The One Who Sharpens Swords, Shoots Arrows, And Likes Going To Target In The Night!"
"Thank You,
Miss
"Last Night, I Dreamed About Someone Chasing Me Across A Freeway With A Sword!...It Wasn't You, Right?"
for letting me
get the
"First Bite" of things!
...H"V"R...
I Love It
when you
come into my Dream!...
But this time...
I'm in yours!
It seems like
I am free
to do
what ever I want!
But...
I'm waiting for you!"
"Top of The Night to You!...
Miss
"Hey...Let's Go Back To Target And Shoot Each Other With Play Arrows Again!"
...For HSR,
It is
"Love At First Sight"
and
I just know it
will be
"Love At First Bite!"
...Hollywood,
A lot of Dancing and
Prancing, and Food and Drink
and all kinds of
"Frivolity" is about to
happen in our
"Party For Two!""
Yes!...
A Party
makes everything better!
"Well, while I continue
going off on
My Tangent,
You...Please...
continue with our
"Delectable Entertainment Soup"
that we have prepared
for you!
I really Love the
Love Toothbrush®
because overtime I use
it,
it's
just...
unpredictable!"
"Boo!"...
Look into My Eyes...
You and your
"I always want some more
of that Sweet Stuff"
smiles
are
just enjoying
all of those
Carbs!
Today's "Scary Scribble" is
...between Her Feedings...of course!
"H "V" R...
If I went to
Transylvania,
would you
come with me?"
World Series Baseball
is coming up!
And we Love the
on-field Heroics!
So does HSR (HVR!)!
Especially when one makes
very difficult catches!
People still talk about
"The Catch" that
Willie Mays did...
and these feats
happen every so
often!
Wow!...
But, you know
where this is going!...
HSR is just
a mortal
Human Being just like
the rest
of us!
"I lost it in the Sun!"...
is a
frequent
excuse!
And sometimes,
other people help him mess up!
And, No...
he doesn't
like it one bit!...
But,
somebody needs to
tell HSR that
the fans didn't
come to see him!...
They always come for...
Yeeeeaaaah!
So don't
"Get It Twisted," HVR!
But things, not may...but, will!...
"Get Twisted" for him...
and real soon...again!...
because,
as we serve up some fresh content
of Halloween Spookiness,
we are detouring today with
an
"Alternative Prequel"
to
the Post
"I Went To This One Halloween Party For Dentists, And...OMG!...Part 1."
AND THERE,
AFTER GETTING HIS
LAST
R.E.M.
SLEEP, DREAMING ABOUT
DONUTS...
HE
JUMPS OUT OF BED
AND RUNS
TO THE
SHOP FOR SOME OF THEM...
AND ON HIS WAY,
HE SEES A PRETTY LADY...WHAT?
AND HE'S IN SUCH
A HURRY THAT HE
OF COURSE,
BURNS SOME
DOUGHNUTS!..
AND ON HIS WAY INTO THE SHOP
HE SEES SOME PATRONS JUST
HAVING AN
ALMOST
"SINFULLY GOOD" TIME
SATISFYING THEIR CARB CRAVINGS!
SO, HE BUYS SOME...
...BUT...
THEY DISAPPEAR...
RIGHT BEFORE
HIS VERY EYES...AND
HIS VERY MOUTH!
OH, WELL,
...
NOW,
HSR HAS TO GO TO WORK!...
BUT AN OLDER LADY
STOPS HSR
ON HIS WAY TO HIS TRUCK
AND SAYS,
"YOUNG MAN, I DON'T KNOW YOU,
BUT,
I HAVE A FEELING THAT
YOU ARE GOING
TO NEED THIS!...
AND
SHE GIVES HIM
A STRANGE RING!
AND SHE CONTINUES,
"PLEASE USE IT
IF YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY!...
IT WILL PROTECT YOU!"
AND THEN
SHE WALKS AWAY...
SO,
HSR LOOKS AT THE RING
AND THEN
HE LOOKS UP...TO THANK THE LADY...BUT...
SHE'S GONE!...
DISAPPEARED!...WHOA!
"WELL, I'LL SEE IF I NEED IT TODAY!" HE SAYS
TO HIMSELF, AND,
"MAYBE SHE KNOWS
SOMETHING ABOUT ME
THAT
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
ABOUT MYSELF!...
I'M ALSO GLAD THAT I HAVE
THIS!"
SO, HE CONTINUES ON TO WORK
AND THIS TIME
HE HAS A JOB AS A
MIRROR REPLACEMENT
TECHNICIAN..
AND HE'S SUPPOSED TO GO TO
WHAT HIS CO-WORKERS CALL
"THE SPOOKY PLACE THAT
ALWAYS GETS DARK
WHEN YOU GET CLOSE!"
HIS TRUCK
BREAKS DOWN!
OH NO!
SO, HSR HAS TO CALL
FOR A TOW!
AND AFTER A LONG TIME...
THE ONLY GUYS
WHO SHOW UP ARE
THESE GUYS!
SO, ONCE THEY GET GOING...
BOY...
IT'S A
BUMPY RIDE!
AND THEY PASS BY
A CUTE WOMAN!
AND
THEY KEEP ON
MOVING,
BUT,
IN A WHILE,
HSR
FALLS
ASLEEP!
AND WHEN HE WAKES UP...
OH NO !...
THEY JUST LEAVE HIM
"HIGH AND DRY!...
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
AND HE'S SO ANGRY THAT
HE
TAKES IT OUT ON HIS TRUCK!
WELL,
NOW HE'S GOT TO GET
BACK TO CIVILIZATION,
BUT IT'S GONNA GET
DARK SOON!
SO HE WALKS
BY THIS ONE,
BUT DOESN'T STOP!
THEN HE GETS
TO THIS ONE PLACE,
AND THIS GUY SAYS,
"YOU BETTER GET OFFA MY
PROPTEE, RIGHT NOW,
YOU YOUNG-IN!"
AND HSR TURNS
180 DEGREES AND WALKS,
THEN RUNS
OUTTA THERE!
SO,
AFTER SOME MORE MILES
OF TIRED WALKING...
AND PASSING SOME
STRANGE SCENES,
AND EVEN PASSING BY
THIS
ONE,
HE'S NOW SO TIRED THAT
THIS ONE
LOOKS VERY INVITING!...SO
HE GOES INSIDE
AND
THINKS,
"I DON'T KNOW IF I
CAN SLEEP IN
THIS PLACE,
BUT MAYBE
I GIVE IT A TRY!"
SO, HE
VERY CAUTIOUSLY
LAYS DOWN ON THE BED
AND HE IMMEDIATELY
FALLS INTO A DEEP
SLUMBER
AND DREAMS OF A PRETTY
SINGER,
AND A
STRANGE ONE
AND EVEN
AN OLD
GIRLFRIEND,
BUT
WHEN HE DREAMS
ABOUT THIS ONE
HE, AT THE SAME TIME,
HEARS SOMEONE SCREAMING
UNDER THE FLOOR OF
THE PLACE!
SO,
OF COURSE,
HE RUNS OUT OF THE PLACE!
AND WALKS
TO THE SIDE OF
THE HOUSE AND SEES
A PLACE THAT HE
DOESN'T WANT TO
INVESTIGATE!
THEN HE LOOKS
FURTHER BACK ON THE PROPERTY
AND SEES
MAYBE A BETTER (?) PLACE!...
SO HE GOES IN!...
AND IMMEDIATELY,
THE DOOR SLAMS SHUT!
AND
IT WON'T OPEN!
OMG!...
...HSR NOW RUBS
THE RING AND
ESPECIALLY!...
...THE CROSS
IN HIS POCKET!
AND THEN,...
...A WOMAN SPEAKS,
"I'VE BEEN WAITING
THREE HUNDRED
YEARS
FOR YOU TO FINALLY ARRIVE!
YOU MUST BE MY "STRONG HUSBAND" FOR THIS
LONG FORTNIGHT
SO THAT MY
FATE MAY BE CHANGED!"
THEN SHE
SHEDS HER ROBE,
AND SAYS,
"PLEASE, MY "STRONG HUSBAND!"...
...NOW...
Yeah...Keep "Goin' Down!"
"What is going to Come, will Come...and there's Nothing that You can do to Stop It!"
My name is
Doctor Pedromonos Molaar...
and I am
a Dentist!
And...
unbeknownst to my
Professional Brethren...
...I am also
a
"Day-Tolerant
Vampire!"
And,
I am thinking about
settling down with
a
Beautiful Vampiress!
But the "One For Me"
is
hard to find!
I am pretty popular among
Vampire Circles because
I can transform
Centuries-Old,
worn Dentitions
into
new and
functioning
Masterpieces!
...that can work with
Mechanical Perfection!
I don't want
Some one
Way Over The Top!...No...
I prefer one with
Understated Beauty!
Now,
I can tell a Vamp when I see one!
So today,
I'm just taking a stroll,
and a pretty lady
walks along,
and I say,
"Hello there,
Pretty Lady!"
And she replies,
Hello Back, Sir!...
...My Apartment's right here...
Wanna Come Up?"
"Sure," I say quickly!
So we go up to
her place!
And it looks
nice!
And we talk awhile...
and she starts to get closer,
but,
she wants to
do the
"Mutual Taste Test"
Right
Now!
But I'm just not
"Feeling It," so...
I say
"No Thanks,"
and just leave!
Well, next,
I go to a park, and,
"I know you!" says this Lady!...
"You're my Dentist!...
...Don't tell anybody," she says, "but
I Love
Looking into your Sparkling Eyes!"
...and...
she walks on!
"Whoa!" I say, "Yes!...I think I remember her!"...
Then,
he walks further,
and a Nice-Looking Woman
Checks out Dr. Molaar!...
And now she uses her body language
to act
a little coy,
yet
interested!
Then she does
"The Move"
that all Vamipres Love,
and see this as
an
Immediate Invitation!...
She...
gives a
"Full Frontal Neck Display!
And...OMG
...they,
get gently amorous and
"Neck Nibbling Quickie!"...
Right there in the park!
And one person watching it all
just
can't believe her eyes!
Now,
Dr. Molaar wipes and straightens himself,
and,
as he walks away,
the woman says,
"Maybe later, Lover Boy!"
And he turns to her and
gives a
wink and a nod!
Now,
he sees a night club
and he walks in like
he's a
Part Owner!
Then he
checks the place out!
and there's lots
of
Kenetic Energy
Being Spent!
The only Things
that are
more plentiful
than Sweat
are Hormones!
And there's Pleasure
Being Served Up...
on "Big Plates"
and
in Excessive Amounts!
"So this is the
New World Order...
of
Parties?," Dr. Molaar asks himself,
as he
just observes!
Look at the
DJ!
And, yes!
there's
Lots of "Violent" This
and
"Softer"
that!
"I'ma take a seat,"
!
says the Doctor!
"Good Night, Sir..." says this Lady Vampress..."A Free Bite,
with every drink tonight!"
And some People watch
to see what
the Doctor does!
And the Band
...Plays On!...
"Hey People Out There
In This Club!...
You've got to
"Use
Yo' Mind!...
...Or Shut The (Bleep)
Up!...(Expletive!)
Now...
a woman
off to the side thinks,
"Who is that Handsome Man!"
And...,
this Lady comes up to HSR
and says,
"I can be one of your Best Friends Ever!"
but for some reason,
she walks away!...
"Sir," says this Lady...
"Please join me in
my
VIPLounge!"
"I'd Love that," says the Doctor!...
So as they get up and
go through the
VIP Door!
"I can tell from the look
in your eye, Sir," she states,
"That you are here
to Explore Some Of The Forbidden Wild Sides!...Please...
Let us now
Imbibe the "True Elixir"
And tell me
some of your
Interesting Stories!"
"Yikes, Dr. Report!...
I can feel
these Alveolar Braces and
Jaw Stretchers
translocating things
as we speak!"
"Everyone just
Loves my Veneers!"
"Looks like I'm
trapped between the Planets!""
May you have many...
"Wow!...
I'm glad I can
Step into
"The Perfect Sunshine!"...
...It's Beautiful!
shall be
Magnificent!...
For I
Shall Make It That Way!"...
..."I am so
In Love
with this time of the year!
Everything is changing!
And I like
to catalogue all of
colors of
the leaves
and fruits!
And each year is different
But after a while
I start to
notice some trends emerging!
And all of
those trends
are not good!
Some things are disappearing,
and other things
are getting "Scraggly"
on their surfaces!
But,
I'm glad that
..."And
"Conjuring Up A Storm"
is
not all that
My
"Magical Dress"
can do!"...
...smiles!
"I welcome you
to This Part Of your
ParaConscious again, Hollywood!...
...Shall we get started?"
"Come on, Mister Stranger!...
...Please let "My Lovely Friend"
Lick You Just Once!"
"The Man Of The Hour!...
Is Just About To...
Enter
His Own After Party!...
Let Us Proceed!"
First,
Capture The
"Middle Point of Zhaan!"...
Then,
Twist it in the Proprietary Way...
then...Wallah!...
The Strength Is In The Length!"...
"HVR...I finally have you
all to myself
on this far away
island!"
...
"I'm glad about that, too, Anna!...
OMGosh, no...what's this!...
Headquarters Is Calling!"
Meanwhile...Back At "The Best Place On Earth!"...
People are dancing
like
Possessed,
or something!"
""Julia!...I guess that they
have held in
this Primal Behavioral Urge
all year,
and
it's finally
getting a
chance to surface!"
"Tell me, HVR...
you wanna get a
Little Crazy, too?"
"I thought you'd Never Ask, Babe!...
Let's Rock!"
"Wow!...
That HSR has the Moves!"
Anybody got a Mirror?...so
I can
"Just Adore My Handsome Self!""
"The
"Claws" of
My New
Scaler and Root Planer
will "Make Mush"
of the Enemy!
"We'll Just See
about
your "Nice Little Tin-Can Contraption"...
and what it can do!
Because we
Always Grow
And our
Tides Rise!"
The World's Best Dental Adventure Blog
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The Greatest Dentist Of All Time!
Dentistry And Second Life
Dental Fairy Tales
A Thousand And One Dental Nights
Adventures In Dentistry
Dental Stories
The Greatest Dentist Of All Time!
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