"OMGosh!...If My Calculations are Correct...
...On Christmas Day...We'll...
...All Be Goners!"...
Before he became a Dentist,
Doctor Ralph Winge
was really excited about
all of the Sciences
seemed
too strange
to be real!
And he is also into Astronomy,
because there are
a lot of weird and interesting
phenomena out there
that we know nothing about!
He secretly wishes that maybe one day
he can find
a new type of star
or something.
However, now,
as he is older and in Dental School,
he starts to visualize and wildly postulate
the Origin and Evolution of Dark Matter...
while on break
in the Dental School's
Lunch Room."
"I know that after the Big Bang,
there were abundant quantities of
particles and energies, and fields
everywhere...and yes, light was everywhere too...
as a matter of fact,
there was so much light
that
there were
no Shadows...anywhere!..."
"Then, after billions of years of this,
there was a shift...
one that took huge numbers
of photons
out of circulation...and made them dark...
they changed composition
and became 'Primordial Photons'
or
'cold, dark, inactive, and maybe a 'Little Undercover' photons'
which are probably combinations of
weakly interacting massive particles (WIMPs)
and electro-thermo-magnetic fields!"
"I'm going to ask my friend who is an
Astronomy Ph.D student in the
Cosmology Department," he summarizes...
So,
Winge heads on over to the
Cosmology Department
and he and his friend
talk about Dark Matter and
they hatch some ideas to put
different filters
over
the
huge telescope lenses,
in an effort to find some...
...Dark Matter!
But...wow...
after trying a couple of filter combinations,
Winge and the
Ph.D student see something
...strange...and dark!
And there seems
to be rumblings
within itself...
and...
it looks to be getting larger,
which means that...
...Oh No!... It's coming our way!...And fast!
So, after this observation,
they agree to
definitely meet back
tomorrow...
Then, in the Lunch Room
the next day, Winge tells some
fellow students
what
he has
just noticed,
and,
of course,
they don't believe him,
especially when he says,
"I calculated that the DM Cloud will
reach Earth on
Christmas Day!"
"You're the ultimate 'Party Pooper,'"
they shoot back...
"Well,"
Dr. Winge later reassures himself,
"I must do something to thwart
our Planet's destruction,
and the huge loss of
precious Life,
but I need something that
travels faster than light
to intercept that DM Cloud
and change its trajectory
to miss and save us all!"
So,
Winge and the Ph.D student
find and talk to this
Professor Emeritus in Astrophysics, who
...The DM Cloud reestablishes
Its energetic
core direction
and
the effect of the Tachyon/Axion Ray Gun
manages to
deflect
the speeding Dark Matter Cloud
just enough to
miss the Earth/Moon system
on Christmas Day
and
As the Dentist types the email to the
'Most Popular Astronomer
out there today'
about
'Tyson Primordial Photons'
making up Dark Matter,
Winge thinks
Dr. Tyson
just may say,
"Cold, Inactivated Photons...just sitting there?...
...Thanks for the compliment...
...I don't know...but we haven't found the answers
to that yet!...But...
...'Tyson Primordial Photons?'...Ummm...
...that's Funny!"
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