Friday, March 25, 2016

I Love My New Smile and My New Bikini! Now Guys Are Following Me All Over The Beach! Part 5.

THE HSR SAYS GOOD DAY TO YOU, AND MAYBE GOODBYE, BECAUSE HE MAY NOT LAST LONG, AS EVIDENCED BY THE LAST TIME THERE WAS THE BLOG POST ABOUT THAT GIRL THAT GOT A SPANKING NEW SMILE AND THAT NEW TINY BIKINI, LIKE SHE WAS THINKING THAT NO ONE WOULD NOTICE HER AS SHE STROLLED DOWN THE BEACH, WITH HER FINE SELF, BUT ENOUGH ABOUT HER, LET’S GET BACK TO THE  TREASURE-HUNTER HSR, WHO MUST REVEAL WHERE HE FOUND AN EXTREMELY RARE BIG GOLD COIN FROM THE NEW WORLD, THAT WAS ON THE SO-CALLED SECRET SHIP, THE 16TH CENTURY SIN NOMBRE,


WHICH IS CURRENTLY SUNK IN A SMALL COVE, ON AN UNCHARTED ISLAND, AND HAS MOUNDS AND MOUNDS OF PURE GOLD, BIG DIAMONDS, BIG RUBIES, AND BIG SEA PEARLS,


AND THAT WAS JUST ON THE FIRST FLOOR OF THE SHIP, SO THE APPRAISER THAT THE HSR SHOWED THE COIN TO, WANTS THE LOOT BADLY HIMSELF, AND OFFERS THE HSR 3 MILLION DOLLARS IN A SUITCASE,


WHICH IS, WHEN CALCULATED, ONE-TENTH OF A PERCENT OF THE ESTIMATED 3 BILLION DOLLARS OF THE LOOT’S WORTH, MAYBE THE HSR THOUGHT THAT PERCENTAGE WAS A BIT SUBSTANDARD—OR BETTER YET—A STINGEE, OR EVEN CHEAP-SKATE OFFER, SO HE REFUSED TO TAKE THE OFFER UP FRONT, YET HE PROMISES TO BE BACK, AND THE HSR LEAVES THE APPRAISER’S OFFICE, GOES TO A BAR ACROSS THE STREET, ORDERS AN ICY ORANGE JUICE WITH THICK PULP, AND TWO CHERRIES ON TOP,


AND NOTICES A GUY WHO WALKS IN THE BAR THAT MIGHT BE FOLLOWING HIM, BUT THE HSR IS NOT WORRIED, BECAUSE, SINCE HE IS A HOMO CYBERGRAPHICUS, HE CAN TURN  HIMSELF INTO DIFFERENT ENTITIES AND HAS NEAT TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE, SO AFTER HE FINISHES HIS TALL DRINK WITH A LONG SWIG, AND CHEWS THE TWO CHERRIES WITH THE SMALL ICE CUBES, HE SAUNTERS INTO THE MEN’S ROOM, AND THE GUY FOLLOWING HIM NOTICES THAT, AND GIVES THE HSR A COUPLE OF MINUTES, THEN SHORTLY GETS CONCERNED THAT THE HSR MIGHT BE GIVING HIM THE SLIP, SO HE GOES INTO THE RESTROOM,


AND THE HSR IS NOT THERE, AND THE BATHROOM WINDOW IS TOO TINY


FOR A MAN TO SLIP THROUGH, BUT SINCE THE HSR IS PART MAN, AND PART PLASMA/GASEOUS SILICON HYBRID, HE CAN TEMPORARILY CHANGE FORM, AND THAT IS JUST WHAT HE DID TO SLIP OUT OF THE WINDOW! AND NOW, THE PERSON THAT WAS SPYING ON HIM, IS GOING TO CATCH HECK FROM THE CROOKED APPRAISER, BECAUSE HE LOST HIS MAN, SO THE SPY RUNS OUT OF THE BAR, AND LOOKS DOWN SEVERAL STREETS,


BUT CAN’T FIND THE HSR…BUT, I, THE BLOGGER OF THIS POST, KNOW EXACTLY WHERE HE WENT, AND I’LL TELL YOU REAL SOON!...but your “you better not think about giving me the old slipperoo, too, you reader, cause I’ll find you…and it ain’t gonna be pretty” smile, is trying to look over my shoulder to find out the location of that loot for yourself!
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“Today is a good day to be alive!””










Quick background: it all started out as a free and easy romp on this new beach I wanted to go to, and let the beautiful warm sun shine, on my newly veneered smile from the world famous Dr. Pearladont, which I love to assiduously floss, and on my new floss bikini, the color of which exactly matches that of the deep aquamarine seas, but the walk wasn’t uneventful, as I spoke with a wise man, then met up with a darling hunk of a man who is now being kidnapped by strange people, and he begs me to save his life by retrieving a small case from his penthouse suite immediately, but I didn’t realize that the…




So I, Aleece, change clothes while driving, and top my hair off with a nice wig, and a sweater to conceal the case that I am supposed to pick up, oh, and did I say my anonymizing, big sunglasses?

I walk in the front door of the hotel like I belong there and head straight to the elevator, and proceed to the penthouse. 

I punch in the code to exit the elevator and again to enter one of the two penthouse suites.

Upon swinging open the door, I am shocked to see that the place has been turned upside down with things thrown all over the place,



like people were trying to find something—yes—the case!

I walk through the mess, and look out to the gorgeous view of the ocean—but



too bad I can’t enjoy its captivating and  luxurious expanse right now—then I proceed to the master suite, which also is torn apart…

…of course the big bed’s mattresses were tossed aside…but I lift the top mattress to look at the underside.

…and I notice a spot underneath it that has an inconspicuous slit.

I open the slit, and there is the case!



…Talk about hiding stuff under the mattress!...

Immediately, I quickly take the small steel briefcase, put it under my sweater, and walk quickly toward the elevator.

After exiting on the ground floor,  I walk slowly, staying behind some pillars as I walk, so I can see who’s in the giant hotel lobby.

I need to head straight to my car and make myself scarce!

However, I nonchalantly stop behind one column, because I see through my dark sunglasses, a couple of guys dressed like those bad guys in black suits walking a ways to the side of me…

…they haven’t noticed me…yet!...

A couple more of those bad guys just walk in the front door…


…Dang! I need to calculate a way out of here!...Now, it’s too thick!

My desperate eyes scan and detect a door behind some tall plants right to the side of me…



…so I duck in there…

…as stealthily as I could…

…whew!...made it!

These pharmaceutical billionaires probably have an army looking for the contents of this case, and looking for me, too!

… I quickly and quietly step-toe into a closet in the room, and go inside and shut the door…

…I don’t turn on the light…

…but I notice above…a ceiling access!...


...that maybe I can fit into...

So, just as I hear some of those guys come into the room, I climb up with the suitcase, open the vent, and...







TO BE CONTINUED…                                               









May you have many…remember that tall stack of pancakes, with butter and syrup, when you were a kid?…I  never cease to be amazed at all of the extremely-wide varieties of plants and animals, and otherwise, that have evolved on our “Earth Zoo!”…do you come up with some great ideas while stuck in traffic?…smiles!

Friday, March 18, 2016

Wow! 50 Shades Of Lips! Part 1.

THE 22 YEAR OLD HSR IS ON BREAK FROM DENTAL SCHOOL, AND HIS BUDDY KALEB ASKS HIM IS HE BUSY THIS UPCOMING SUNDAY, AND HSR TELLS HIM, "NAH, NOTHING PLANNED," SO KALEB SAYS, WELL, WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET A LOT OF HOT BABES UP CLOSE?," AND HSR SAYS, "YOU KIDDIN' ME, WHERE DO I SIGN UP?" AND KALEB SAYS, "I'M HELPING OUT WITH THIS FASHION SHOW,


BUT IF YOU COME AND HELP OUT, YOU HAVE TO HELP THE LADIES CHANGE THEIR CLOTHES BETWEEN CATWALKS, AND YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO STARE AT THE LADIES TO MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE, SO...DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD DO THAT?" AND HSR SIGHS, "YES, I PROMISE THAT I WON'T STARE...TOO MUCH!" SO THAT DAY COMES, AND HSR IS SHOWN TO THE RACK THAT HE IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF...


...AND EACH DRESS IS SUPPOSEDLY WORTH AT LEAST $5,000, AND THE DESIGNER WALKS BY...


AND LOOKS HSR UP AND DOWN TWICE AND SAYS, "IF YOU MESS UP, YOU'LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN! GOT THAT!" AND HSR BLURTS BACK WITH A SALUTE, "YES, SIR!" AND THE DESIGNER MURMURS, "THAT'S BETTER!" SO ALL OF THE MODELS WALK IN...


...AND KALEB, WHO IS TALKING AND WEARING AN EARPHONE/MIC COMBO, WALKS BY FAST, AND SAYS TO HSR, "OKAY, MAN, LET'S GET THIS SHOW SMOKIN'!" WHICH MEANS THAT THE FIRST MODELS STRIP DOWN TO THEIR SKIVVIES, AND HSR GIVES THEM THEIR OUTFITS AND HELPS TO STRAIGHTEN AND ZIP THEM UP ON THE GIRLS, THEN GIVES EACH OF THEM THE RIGHT PAIR OF SHOES, AND SENDS THEM ON THEIR WAYS, AND AFTER A WHILE, NEAR THE END OF THE EXHIBITION, SOME OF THE MODELS GET A LITTLE TIRED, AND TWO OF THEM GO OFF INTO A CORNER OF THE ROOM, AND THEY PULL OUT SOME "ENERGIZER" OUT OF THEIR PURSES, BUT THE HSR SEES THIS AND RUNS OVER TO THE GIRLS AND SAYS, "LADIES, YOU JUST HAVE TWO CHANGES LEFT TO WALK, SO I NEED YOU TO GET BACK IN LINE AND BE PROFESSIONALS ABOUT THIS! PLUS I HAVE SOMETHING PLANNED FOR YOU TWO AFTER THE SHOW! (HE DOESN'T) IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN," AND HE GIVES THEM BOTH A WINK OF THE EYE...(HE'S LYING!)..."NOW, TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF...AND PUT THESE ON, YOU TWO!" AND THEY SHRUGGINGLY OBEY HIM, BUT BEFORE THEY GO TO THE CATWALK, THEY WHISPER BACK TO HSR, "YOU PROMISE! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT!" THEN, AFTER THE SHOW IS OVER, THE DESIGNER AND KALEB DRAG HSR OUT TO BOW



WITH THE OTHER CREW TO THE STANDING-OVATION AUDIENCE...AND AN ENCORE BOW...AND THE TWO MODELS BOTH TAKE HSR BY EACH ARM, AND THEY SAY, "WE'RE NOT LETTING YOU OUT OF OUR SIGHT!" AS EVERYBODY WALKS OFF STAGE, AND THE DESIGNER SWERVES BY THE HSR AND HANDS HIM AN ENVELOPE THAT HAS A LITTLE THICKNESS TO IT, AND HE SAYS TO HSR, "IMMENSE THANKS FOR KEEPING THE GIRLS AND THE CLOTHES RIGHT ON TIME...I'M FLYING OUT TO MILAN NEXT WEEK FOR TWO SHOWS, AND I ABSOLUTELY NEED YOU AND KALEB...ARE YOU AVAILABLE?" AND HSR RESPONDS...wait doctor blogger...please, wait...don't tell me his answer yet, cause he has yet to look in the envelope he just received, and because my "tonight, I am going to dance in the moonlight to my favorite meditative music" smile, has a previous engagement in Monaco!


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"The lips have the ultimate power over the smile!" -Ralph Winge, D.D.S.














Aaah!

Yes...it is the lips that impart characters, emotions, and meanings to the infinite numbers of our smiles!

So it is very necessary that we practice adequate lip care, at least with a daily balm, especially when experiencing extreme weather.

And, ladies have a latitudinal social license to add so much more to their "curtains of the smile!":

They can start with a clear or nude color for a sensual naturalness...







Or choose the go-to, always-dependable red...





Or a transitioning ombre style...






Or one lip can be dressed differently than the other...






And ladies around the world can approximate the colors of their national flags...





Starry lights, starry nights!



Mesmerize me!

But wait...there's more!






May you have many...do people riding on the long subway sometimes think the same thoughts...is there a way to get another ticket to life on planet Earth?...will you do what you want to do, whether you like it or not?...smiles!









Friday, March 11, 2016

The Top 5 "Biggest, Baddest, And Most Lethal" Sets Of Teeth On Earth!

A SKINNY, DRIPPING WET 8-YEAR-OLD HSR IS JUST LEARNING HOW TO SWIM IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD PARK POOL, AND A BUNCH OF KIDS ARE JUST SITTING ON THE POOL'S SIDE NOW, THEN THE LIFEGUARD/TEACHER


COMES OVER AND SAYS, "OKAY EVERYBODY, LET'S GET WET!"


SO, AFTER HSR JUMPS INTO THE POOL WITH THE OTHER SCARY CATS, THEY ALL HOLD ONTO THE WALL OF THE POOL AS IF FOR DEAR LIFE, THEN THE INSTRUCTOR SAYS, "LISTEN UP, EVERYONE! I'M THE LIFEGUARD, AND YOU'RE THE SWIMMERS. IS THAT CLEAR!" AND ALL OF THE KIDS SHOUT, "YES, SIR!" "AND I'M GOING TO MAKE STRONG MEN OUT OF YOU YET!," HE CONTINUES, AND ONE OF THE KIDS SAYS, "BUT I'M A GIRL!" AND THE LIFEGUARD HARUMPHS, "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO BECOME REAL BIG AND BAD MARINES...AND HOLD YOUR BREATH UNDER WATER FOR ALMOST AN HOUR"...AND THE KIDS LOOK WIDE-EYED AT EACH OTHER..."OKAY, MORE LIKE TWO MINUTES! YOU TWO, JOHNNY AND RAY, MOVE DOWN A LITTLE, AND DO YOU REMEMBER HOW I SHOWED YOU HOW TO USE YOUR ARMS AND LEGS TO SWIM LAST TIME?" AND THE TWO SAY, " WE REMEMBER, BUT WE'RE NOT THAT GOOD YET!" AND THE LIFE GUARD SNEERS, "WELL YOU'RE GONNA GET GOOD RIGHT NOW, AND MAKE IT ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE POOL!" AND THE TWO BOYS ASK, "HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE US DO THAT?" AND THE LIFE GUARD PULLS OUT A REAL LOOKING RUBBER SNAKE,


BUT THE TWO KIDS DON'T KNOW IT'S RUBBER, AND THE LIFE GUARD DANGLES IT AND BARKS, "GET GOING!" AND THE TWO KIDS FREAK OUT AND START SWIMMING



AND HIGH-TAILING IT OUT OF THERE WITH THEIR BEST SPEED AND MIGHT ALL THE WAY TO THE OTHER SIDE, AFTER THE LIFE GUARD THROWS THE SNAKE IN THE WATER BEHIND THEM!...naw, naw, naw...that's a cruel joke...but, it gets great, verifiable results, however, and I'm glad that it wasn't the young HSR that was almost scared out of his wits, and personally, I know that your "I happen to like the sweet and relaxing messages that I hear from my pillow when I lay my head down to go to sleep" smile, is still scared of the water, and how old are you now?
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"Time!...I need more time!"











We get it...that this is an "only the strongest survives" world, and it's also a "dog eat dog" society, which includes a "Fat Rat Race" thrown in for good measure!

The following includes the "Most Lethal" animal species, past and present, that are totally not to be messed with, because if you get close enough, you might be risking life and limb, and maybe both simultaneously!




Tyrannosaurus Rex




























...at the top of all the charts, always hungry with a bad temper, while hamming it up for the cameras!




Shark


...broken teeth swallowed with the food...no problem...we grow more! And all of our food is fast!




 Aetodactylus halli winged dinosaur


...stealthily-quiet and quickly-snatching, it gives new meaning to, "I just thought I'd swoop in for a bite, to go, of course!"



Alligator


...some people in Florida find these in their pools and basements chasing chickens! Hey, don't they have little birds that freely waltz into their mouths and clean their teeth?



Cutie-pie human


..."even the most heavy duty, battle-field-tested pacifiers don't stand a chance! They're gigglingly gnawed away...within seconds! Got another one?"








May you have many...when you sleep, you might be "out of it," but your body dutifully stays busy, doing its reparative and rejuvenating thing!...are we, as a species, going to get to the point to where we hardly write manual long hand anymore?... next time it rains, go outside, look up to the heavens, open your mouth, and get some of that free, lead-free, and cloud-pure water!...smiles!


Friday, March 4, 2016

What Do President Barack Obama, Jay Z, Aisha Tyler, Wesley Snipes, and Jada Pinkett-Smith All Have In Common...A Winge's Peak, Of Course!

Your "I was looking at the ocean through an old pirate telescope, and I could swear (like a pirate!) that I saw an old and tattered Spanish galleon floating off shore for a second" smile always looks at every new moon with a powerfully digitized 16" Hyperion "TruView" telescope to see if any of the rumored moon-atmosphere-breathing "Long-legged Lunarians"


can be seen scampering around while things are dark, and while the earthlings can't visualize their activities, HOWEVER THESE LUNARIANS MUST MOVE ABOUT QUICKLY BECAUSE THEIR NATURAL ENEMY IS ALSO A MOON-ATMOSPHERE-BREATHING, BUT SLOW MOVING "ASTRONOG,"


HOWEVER, SINCE THEY SHY AWAY FROM HUMANS, OR ANY OTHER INTERSTELLAR TRAVELERS, FOR THE MOST PART, THE HSR AND HIS FRIENDS DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT MUCH, AS THEY TAKE OFF FROM L.A. IN A "SPACE TRAIN" TO THE MOON,


FOR AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID-FOR JUNKET FROM GOOGLET INDUSTRIES IN THEIR EFFORTS TO GET MORE MILLENNIALS THINKING AND TRAVELING MORE TOWARD THE MOON AND STARS, SO, AFTER THEY ARRIVE, THEY ALL HEAD STRAIGHT TO "THE HABITAT" AND ARE SHOWN AROUND THE FACILITIES



INCLUDING THE HIGH-YIELD AND SELF-SUSTAINING HYDROPONIC GARDENS


...AND THE INDOOR SWIMMING POOL...


...AND HSR IS SHOWN HIS DWELLING...


...WHICH LOOKS A OKAY, AND MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE COZY...


...BUT SOMEHOW, HE DOESN'T FEEL PARTICULARLY AT EASE ON THIS MOON BASE QUITE YET, SO LATER ON, AS EVERYBODY ELSE GETS READY TO PARTY ON AT "CLUB EARTH,"


HSR AND A FRIEND HE MET ON THE PLANE COMING HERE, NAMED ORBITA, DON SOME PROTECTIVE SUITS AND TAKE A WALK...


...AND LOOK AT THE EARTH AND STARS, BUT LITTLE DID THEY KNOW THAT THEY WERE BEING WATCHED AND STALKED BY SOME LUNARIANS, AND WHEN THEY WALKED PAST A GIANT BOULDER, THE LUNARIANS SURPRISED HSR AND ORBITA BY KNOCKING HER OUT WITH A SINGLE BLOW, AND DRAGGING HER AWAY, HOWEVER, HSR PUTS UP A GOOD MARTIAL ARTS FIGHT AGAINST THREE OF THEM, WHICH MAKES THEM AND THE REST OF THE LUNARIANS RUN OFF, BUT THEY HURT HSR'S LEG, SO NOW HE HAS TO CRAWL WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT AND EFFORT TO MAKE IT BACK TO THE BASE ALIVE...










 ...AND WARN THE OTHER COLONY MEMBERS!...
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"Has the far side of the moon always been on the other side?"











Scientifically elucidated in 2011, by the creator of this blog, Ralph Winge, D.D.S., this anatomically rare and visually mesmerizing landmark is still being statistically researched to see if this upper lip feature occurs only in certain ethnic groups, and how frequent this gene-strengthened variation shows up phenotypically in those target populations, and, to see if the demarcation in question has a genetic tendency to be "Mendelian Preditable" as far as "running in the family" over successive generations, or if this marker has generation-skipping tendencies in said populations. In the future, the location on the DNA, of the genes responsible for Winge's Peak will be deciphered.

Look at the specialized raised linear connective tissue line on the upper lip of the following VIPs:


The most powerful man of the free world, the most affable, photogenic, best teeth, smartest, and the  handsomest President ever, President Barack Obama!




The very notable business man, and on just about everyone's top 5 rapper list of all time, Jay Z!





The very busy, opinionated, popular, and all-media personality, Aisha Tyler!





The controversial, yet very engaging and impossible to not watch, Wesley Snipes!






The multifaceted, very attractive, groundbreaking, and sure to give a good show, Jada Pinkett Smith!...


...among many others!

An anatomical observation and elucidation of Winge's Peak follows:




Would you like an oral or plastic surgeon to implant a Winge's Peak into your upper lip?







May you have many...sometimes, watching the news is bad for the optimistic mood...in our civilized cities, we don't think about the war for survival that animals go through every night in the rainforest...I hope Earth doesn't get "planetary atherosclerosis," what with all of the trash and detritus from Man's profligately wasteful ways!... smiles!