So, one day
a Dentist and
his Patient
were talking,
and the Dentist asks,
"I wonder what
a 'Real and Best' Santa
would look like?
And
the Patient responds,
"I know some Reporters and we
can ask
the Public for an answer!...
...That should be
an interesting 'Fluff Piece'
for the Station!"
OMGosh!...
So, the next Day,
some reporters go
out in the Field:
"Good Afternoon, Everyone!...
I'm from
Washington, D.C....
...This year, we want
to get to the bottom of it all!..
...We want to see who is the
'Most Real' and 'the Best'
Santa Claus!"
"Now, some that we have looked at
seem to have special talents, like...
the ability to negotiate
any chimney, whereas others get stuck,
and where others get
burned!"...
"Santa also needs
to be able to
bond well
with People
and others
and
not have seemingly
ulterior motives, however,
the Jury is still out
on the
Issue of
'Innocent
twerking!"
"Reporting from Pittsburg,
Mr. Claus
shouldn't be too forward
with the
Ladies...
...He should be Neutral
and
not scare
the Kids!
And,
if needed,
he should have a strong lap,
if so
called upon!"...
"Coming at You from
Spokane,
...Now...
...Santa should be
apolitical and
not get into
heated discussions
about
Protests
and the workings
of Government...
It should be a plus for
Santa to be in good physical shape,
with the ability to run
and lift weights
and even a little gymnastics
is advantageous!...Oh...
and
Santa must know how to Run a
World-Accommodating Workshop!"
"Straight from
Los Angeles,
We are noticing that
the ability to
quickly de-escalate
any potential situations between Kids
and between Adults
will definitely come in handy in these Times!"
...And a
Sense of Humor
will come in handy!"
"Video Games are
all the rage and
a knowledgable Santa,
can discuss the Games
with some authority!"
"And from
Wonderful Houston,
The knack of
Walking Softly but
Carrying a
'Big Sack'
will prove helpful!"
"And as for the 'Customary Attire,'
in some cases,
Some Flexibility
is allowed!"
Now, a Santa should
be a
Positive Role Model
by acting Responsibly
without excessive Behaviors
so that our Future Santas will
be
Good Citizens!"
"So,
with all of these
factors to consider, let your local
News Department know of
Your selections!...Even if she
is a
Santita Claus!"
This Christmas...
...May you have many...
...Smiles!
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