So,
THE TEENAGE HOLLYWOOD SMILES REPORT AND HIS BUDDIES
MAKE IT ON OVER
TO THE VISITING
CIRCUS
IN TOWN
TO MEET SOME CUTE CHICKS
AND HAVE SOME
INNOCENT FUN!...
AND ON THEIR WAY OVER,
HE ASKS A FRIEND,
"I WONDER IF THEY ARE
GOING TO HAVE A
"KISSING BOOTH" LIKE THEY DID
WHEN MY DAD
WAS A KID?"
AND ONE OF HIS FRIENDS SAYS,
"I'M ONLY DOING THE
PRETTY GIRLS!
AND A FRIEND SAYS,
I WANT TO SEE A LADY
FIRED OUT
OF A CONNON!
...
SO,
THEY MAKE IT THERE
FINALLY
I REMEMBER YOU FROM JR. HIGH!
I'M WORKING IN THIS OFFICE...PLEASE COME
BY AND SEE ME LATER, OKAY!"
NOW, ONE OF HIS FRIENDS SAYS,
"YOU OLD DOG YOU...YOU
BEEN HOLDIN' OUT ON US, BRO!"
AND HSR SAYS, "MAN I AIN'T SEEN
HER IN FOUR-FIVE YEARS!...
...BUT SHE FILLED OUT, THOUGH!"
...
"HI, CALEB AND HOLLYWOOD...
SAYS THIS GIRL...
HEY CALEB...WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?"
AND CALEB ANSWERS, "OH, HE'S DARNELL!"
"WELL, DARNELL, I HAVE A FRIEND HERE
THAT
WANTS TO GET TO KNOW
YOU!"
SO, NOW,
CALEB AND DARNELL GO OFF
WITH THEIR FRIENDS
AND
HSR IS BY HIMSELF,
AND HE DECIDES TO GO
AND GET A HOT DOG
AT THIS VENDOR
HOLD ON TO SOMEBODY!"
"SURE, I'LL GO ON THERE WITH YOU!" REPLIES HSR...
SO, THEY GET TO THE COASTER
AND HSR
WANTS TO MAKE
A GOOD IMPRESSION ON THE GIRL
THAT HE JUST MET,
BECAUSE
HE APPRECIATES THAT
SHE LIKES TO LAUGH AT HIS JOKES...
...EVEN THE DUD ONES...
SO,
THEY STEP INTO THE FIRST CAR
OF THIS "DROP MOUNTAIN" RIDE,
AND THE ROLLER CAR STARTS ASCENDING
HIGH UP WITH A LOUD CLACKITY-CLAK...
...BUT...WAIT...
AS HE REACHES THE TOP
HE STARTS TO HOLD ON TO HER!
HOWEVER, HE CAN'T STOP THINGS NOW
AND MUST ENDURE
THE REST OF THE "ENTERTAINMENT,"
THEN,
THEY GET OFF THAT ONE AND
SHE SAYS, " I LOVED THAT ONE...NOW,
LETS TRY THAT OTHER ONE!"
...
SO,
HSR DOESN'T WANT TO SEEM SCARED
SO
THEY BOARD THE NEXT RIDE,
WHICH IS A
HEART-POUNDING, RHYTHMIC, AND
SPEEDY OFFERING CALLED
THE "BIG IN AND OUT"...
...WHICH IS GUARANTEED
TO HELP MAKE
THE FOOD THAT YOU JUST PUT IN--COME OUT!...
SO,
THAT RIDE FINISHES...
BUT,
HSR CAN'T FEEL GOOD
IN THE GIRLS SQUEEZY HUGS
BECAUSE HE'S TOO FRIGHTENED!
...
"LET'S GO ON THIS ONE, TOO!
SHE BEGS,
WHILE JUMPING UP AND DOWN WITH
HER ARMS AROUND HIM!
SO,
AFTER A BRIEF REST AND WALK-ABOUT,
THE NEXT COASTER,
CALLED "TAKE A CHANCE,"
MAKES THE HSR AND THE
THRILL SEEKING GIRL
STEP BACK A LITTLE...
BUT THE GIRL SAYS,
"I TRUST THE MATHEMATICAL CALCULATIONS
THAT WERE USED IN THE PHYSICAL DESIGN OF THIS RIDE!...
I'M A MATH MAJOR!
AND I WANT TO SAIL INTO THE SKY...WITHOUT A TRACK!...
ISN'T THAT "THE MOST," HOLLYWOOD?"
"YES, DEAR!" SQUEAKS OUT HSR...
SO, HSR BARELY SURVIVES THIS RIDE
BUT
AFTER TOO MANY BIZARRE BUMPS,
FRIGHTENING TWISTS, AND
TERRIFYING TURNS,
HSR FINALLY STEPS OUT
OF THE ROLLERCOASTER CAR
AND FINDS OUT THAT
HE HAS COMMITTED
A VERY EMBARRASSING
PERSONAL ACCIDENT!...
...BUT...
HE TELLS THE GIRL THAT
HE JUST MET
THAT HE JUST BUMPED INTO SOME ONE
AND THAT A DRINK SPILLED ALL OVER...
"I'MA GO TO THE MEN'S ROOM...
I'LL BE BACK!"
SO,
HE RUSHES TO FIND ONE...AND
AND HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE
LOOKING AND LAUGHING AT HIS
DEMISE!...ESPECIALLY
CLOWNS!
WELL, IT'S A DISTANCE AWAY...BUT HE
FINDS ONE...
AND HE DRIES OFF
AS MUCH AS HE CAN, AND
WHEN HE STARTS BACK...
HE SEES...YOU GUESSED IT!...
A
AND IT'S PITCH
BLACK!
AND...OH NO!...
THE DOOR CLICKS SHUT AND...
IT'S LOCKED!
AND THE DOOR WON'T OPEN!
...HE CAN'T GET OUT!
THEN,
THIS LADY, "MY FRIEND, ABACA, AND I
HAVEN'T HAD A "PRETTY BOY SANDWICH" FOR YEARS!
AND WE'RE HUNGRY!...
...YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY BEFORE
WE GET STARTED?"
NOW,
HSR CRIES...
"EYE WA MA MOMMA!"
