Friday, July 29, 2016

The Buck (Tooth) Stops Here!...With Your Dentist!

HUMBLY SHAKING IN HIS HEAVILY-INSULATED SKIING BOOTS, WITH EXCITEMENT-RAISED GOOSE-PIMPLES FELT ALL OVER, THE TWENTY-SOMETHING HSR IS JUST IN MAGNIFICENT AWE WHILE EXPERIENCING THE SHEER AND UNEQUALLED MAJESTY OF THIS NATURALLY-WONDEROUS, ALMOST 4-MILE-HIGH MOUNTAIN RANGE, CALLED "THE TEETH OF THE WORLD" BY THE LOCALS,


AND AFTER FEELING THIS INCREDIBLE ADRENALINE RUSH, HSR WALKS  DOWN FROM THE SKI LODGE ON HIS WAY TO THE SLOPES, AND SEVERAL YARDS AWAY, THERE ARE TWO CUTE SKIER GIRLS, SISTERS DENTALIA AND IMPRESSIA ORGASA,


AND THEY ARE CHECKING OUT AND FLIRTING WITH HSR IN A HIGH-SCHOOL-GIRLS KIND OF WAY, AND THEY SAY TO HIM, HI THERE! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?," AND HE ANSWERS, "MY NAME IS HSR BUT YOU TWO CAN CALL ME "H,"" AND THE TWO YOUNG LADIES GIGGLE A LITTLE AND ONE SAYS,  "I'M DENTALIA, AND THIS IS MY SISTER IMPRESSIA, AND IMPRESSIA SAYS THAT SHE LIKES YOU!...SO ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO SKI NOW?," AND HSR, NOTICING THAT IT IS STARTING TO FLAKE OUTSIDE A LITTLE...


SAYS BACK, "I DO SOME OF MY BEST TRICKS IN THE VIRGIN  SNOW...WANNA COME WITH ME?," AND THEY BOTH SAY YES!, SO THEY ALL CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN IN A LIFTER THAT THEY HOPE STILL WORKS!...


"SO HOW DO YOU LIKE IT HERE SO FAR?,"" IMPRESSIA ASKS WHILE MOMENTARILY TOUCHING HSR'S LEG, AND HE RESPONDS, "THE THING ABOUT THIS TALL AND BEAUTIFUL PEAK IS THAT ONCE I'M UP HERE...I NOTICE THE STARTLING BEAUTY OF...ALL THE OTHER PEAKS," "SORT OF BEAUTIFUL LIKE ME A LITTLE?" ASKS IMPRESSIA, MAKING HSR LAUGH A LITTLE AND GRIN BACK, "YEAH, BUT IN A DIFFERENT SORT OF WAY."...

SO THE RIDE ENDS AND THEY GET OFF AND HSR EXCITEDLY PRONOUNCES,"LET'S SNOW IT, BABY!," AND HE STARTS "ACTING SICK" IN THE WHITE!...


BUT, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, THE GIRLS QUICKLY PASS HIM BY LIKE THEY'RE PROFESSIONALS...THEN LATER DOWN, THEY PULL EVEN, AND..."UH OH, DANG IT!," HSR GRIMACES, BECAUSE HE HEARS THE  TELL TALE RUMBLINGS OF A DREADED...AVALANCHE!..AND LOOKING UP THE SLOPE...AND SEES...



SO, THINKING DESPERATELY AND QUICKLY, HSR TELLS THE GIRLS TO HURRY UP AND SKI OVER TO THE CROP OF TREES DOWN BELOW TO THE SIDE...


TO BREAK THE BRUTE AND DEADLY FORCE OF THE TUMBLING, CHURNING, AND POSSIBLY-LIFE-CLAIMING WHITE,  AND ALL OF THEM SCOOT SWIFTLY ON OVER AND INTO THE TREED AREA, DODGING, WEAVING, AND SWISHING BETWEEN THE POTENTIALLY-INJURIOUS TREES, THEN INTENTIONALLY WIPING OUT IN A SEEMINGLY PROTECTED AREA...AND.....THE SNOW SHOOTS OVER THEM, AND BLANKETS THEM,



HOWEVER, THE DANGEROUS FORCES ARE LUCKILY ATTENUATED BY THE PRESENCE OF THE TREES, WITH MANY OF THEM LOUDLY CRACKING LIKE TOOTHPICKS BY THE BULLYING SNOW, BUT...NOW...IT'S QUIET AGAIN...EERILY QUIET...AND SNOW IS COVERING EVERYTHING (DUH, LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO!)...


AND THE HSR, WHO IS NOW TOTALLY COVERED IN ABOUT THREE FEET OF SNOW, MANAGES TO UNEARTH HIMSELF, AND HE SITS UP, THEN STANDS UP, AND AT THE SAME TIME, WIPES THE COPIOUS FLAKES OFF, AND THEN HE HEARS ONE OF THE GIRLS, AND IT'S IMPRESSIA, SORT OF GRUNTING AND MAKING THE SAME TYPES OF SOUNDS THAT MARTIAL ARTISTS MAKE, TO BREAK OUT OF THE WHITE ICE, THEN SHE FRANTICALLY LOOKS AROUND FOR HER SISTER...

...AND SHE FINDS DENTALIA...BUT SHE'S NOT BREATHING!...

SO HSR SPRINTS OVER TO THEM AND HE CHECKS DENTALIA FOR A PULSE, AND WHEN HE DOESN'T DETECT ONE, HE QUICKLY STARTS SOME CHEST COMPRESSIONS...

AND AFTER A COUPLE OF TRIES...THE CPR...WORKS!...SHE WAKES UP!...

DENTALIA COUGHS A LITTLE AS SHE PROPS HERSELF UP BY HER ARMS, AND, WITH HSR LEANING OVER HER, SHE SHAKES HER SELF OFF, AND AFTER THAT, COMING COMPLETELY TO HER SENSES, SHE CRIES OUT, "THANK H FOR SAVING MY LIFE!...

... THEN, SHE TIGHTLY AND PLAYFULLY HUGS, ROLLS WITH, AND GETS VERY, VERY  CLOSE TO HSR...


JUST LIKE WHAT THIS COUPLE IS DOING HERE, BUT THEN... HSR REMEMBERS THAT IMPRESSIA IS THE ONE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO LIKE HIM, BUT HERE HSR IS..."ROLLING AROUND IN THE HAY" WITH HER SISTER DENTALIA, AND HE TRULY DOESN'T WANT TO INSTIGATE ANY SIBLING RIVALRY, SO WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?...naww...will you just look at this...I knew it...now you've "done gone and" painted yourself into a pretty little corner...and you want me to feel...wait...okay...I'm just glad that no one's hurt, but HSR will, again, have to wiggle hisself out this new jumbo-sized dilemma of his own making... doesn't  that boy ever learn?...and your smirking and pointing self, along with your "the snow is white, and the sky is blue, but above all else, to thine own self be true!" smile, just wants to rub it in HSR's face next time you see him post up!
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"The only way to have a beautiful life is to...make it a beautiful life!"














Yes!...I know the science!...

Humans are part of the Animal Kingdom...

But we don't have to look so..."animalish!,"...do we?

...with teeth that stick out and possibly point in the direction that you want to walk!...


In some animals, protruding teeth are cute...and sometimes even expected!...like squirrels...and "bucky" beavers...come on now!



Even our fine feathered friends have hard and curved body parts to help them pick apart and eat prey...


Does this male dinosaur, with his deadly dentition, look like good husband material to a female Tyranno?...


People young and old come into the Dentist's Office to get their teeth fixed, so that they may have a better confidence impact on themselves, and a better aesthetic impact on all of the people they come across...


What's better...about three years of braces...


...or decades of therapy on the therapist's couch...


...to raise one's self esteem?

This is definitely an orthodontic emergency crying out for help!...


Remember that protruding front teeth are also at greater risk of injury during rough play!

This high fashion model used to have "leaning" teeth, too, but just gaze upon her in-demand self now!


Yo! Next time you go to your orthodontist's dental office, see if she or he has a sign on their consultation desk that reads:


And if they do, they might have a healthy sense of humor, too!

So, remember, while many people may literally and figuratively "pass the buck," please realize that, where dentists and orthodontists are concerned, the proverbial "buck (tooth) stops here!" saying is the real honest truth!





May you have many...quick--name one big thing that you'd like to be doing right now!...recharge your batteries, because your ride continues!...so, you'll take the nice sunshine, and I'll take a tall glass of ice water and some luxurious shade!...smiles!

Friday, July 22, 2016

You “Bed Knot” Forget To Floss!

BEING THE GREEN-EYED, STRONG, GOOD-LOOKING, AND ELITE TRIATHLETE SWIMMER THAT HE IS, THE HSR, DECKED OUT IN A ONE PIECE BODY SWIMSUIT, SORT OF LIKE THIS GUY, IN THE OLD DAYS,


WALKS OUT TO THE BEACH WATER BACKWARD, AND WHEN HE GETS ABOUT WAIST DEEP, HE TURNS AROUND AND, WITH EASY STROKES, SWIMS OUT PAST THE BREAK WATER, AND HE JUST TREADS WATER STATIONARILY FOR A WHILE, THEN HE TURNS AND LEISURELY FLOATS ON HIS BACK AND COUNTS SOME OF THE FRIENDLY-LOOKING, SUPER-PUFFY CLOUDS


WHICH LOOK LIKE THEY COULD BE A THOUSAND HEAVENLY DINOSAUR FOOTPRINTS SCATTERED MASTERFULLY ACROSS THE ATMOSPHERE, THEN HE LOOKS PAST THE CLOUDS AND SEES A METEOR STREAK ACROSS THE SKY, AND MIND YOU, THIS IS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, AND A COUPLE MORE METEORS SHOW THEMSELVES, AND THE HSR DOESN’T THINK MUCH OF THIS, BUT HE TURNS HIS ATTENTION TO THE DIRECTION FROM WHICH THEY CAME, AND HE SEES ANOTHER ONE, BUT THIS ONE IS COMING IN HIS DIRECTION,


SO HE STOPS FLOATING ON HIS BACK AND TURNS TO TREAD WATER, AND FOLLOWS THIS METEOR RIGHT TO THE CLIFFS OF THE BEACH THAT HE IS ON!…AND THE METEOR SMASHES INTO THE CLIFFS, CAUSING A LANDSLIDE,


AND NOW, THE HSR SWIMS ASHORE AND RUNS TO WHERE THE NEW METEORITE JUST LANDED, BUT MORE OF THE CLIFFS ARE STARTING TO BREAK AWAY AND FALL DOWN, KEEPING HIM AWAY FROM CHECKING OUT THE NEW SKY ROCK, and while all of this is going on, your "I'm just trying not to have my crazy, mixed-up life get just like this crazy, mixed-up world!" smile, is also checking all of this out as it happens on the same beach, however, you are just going to stay put and get ready to witness one more fascinating sunset, reflecting and revealing its secrets over the mysterious azure agua...and forget about all the rest!


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“Dental floss helps you clean where the “sun don’t shine!””













Listen, folk!...

I ain't playing'!

If you know what's good for you...you "Bed Knot" forget!...

Cause if you do, in order to make you get in line, I might have to turn into a Driil Sargent on ya!...



Or maybe...in order to properly motivate, I might have to become that "Nagging Professor!"...


Please don't make me take anything out of my "Black Bag!..


You're old enough to know better...your mom raised you that way!


Assiduous flossing not only gets the almost 10% of plaque left behind from toothbrushing, it gets off most of the interdental plaque buildup out of the embrasure spaces between the teeth and under the gums! But sadly, we cannot remove 100% of all dental biofilm--there are always microscopic traces left behind--and plaque always grows back...with a vengeance!

Puffy, swollen, and infected gums like these...


can contribute to the potential internal inflammation of body cells, and parts like the heart, kidney, brain, and other areas!

Here's a "Virgin Dentition!"...Keep on being a virgin!



Proper "pop that string" flossing inhibits the free growth of microbe-community-based, gum-problem-and-cavity-producing biofilm, and the carious lesions that they can precipitate between teeth, if left untreated, and if those critters are left to their own devious devices, bacterial plaque



only gets more imposing, and destructive!...

Want some between teeth fillings?...


...just for looks?

Plus, not flossing, makes one have "Breff Stank!"

Hey, remember those kissing booths from long ago...



...well, did you know that they had a not-so-obvious sign that said, "No shoes, no shirt, no good teeth...No Service!"





 

May you have many…all of us, each and every one of us, count!...please meditate while reading this!...stay, or go, but not both!…smiles!

Friday, July 15, 2016

85-Year-Old Dentist Almost Faints…When A Famous Entertainer Tells Him That She’s Ready!…And “DTF!”...

Continuing the preface to the blog post, "Go 'Head Girl...And Twerk Dat Smile!," we now catch you turning from Netflix, to the new "WEBAD" channel, with your "yes! I'm dancing in the dark to some cool and mellow music--now that is what I call the tasty icing on my big fat cake!" smile watching attentively, AND THIS IS WHERE WE FIND HSR PURSUING A NEW ADVENTURE IN HIS HOT AIR BALLON...

...WHERE HE STARTS FROM HIS FORMER COLLEGE, POINT LOMA UNIVERSITY...



...IN SAN DIEGO, WHICH GIVES SPECTACULAR ARIEL VIEWS, AND HE CONTINUES NORTH UP THE COAST, AND HE LANDS AND SPENDS HIS FIRST NIGHT IN THE AREA OF THE AGUA HEDIONDA LAGOON...


...AND HE WAKES UP FRESH THIS NEW MORNING AND IS ABOUT TO TAKE OFF...ON SCHEDULE...BUT WHEN HE CLIMBS IN THE CABIN OF THE BALLON AND TAKES OFF, HSR FINDS THAT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMAN AND HER DOG HAVE STOWED AWAY IN HIS BALLON...


...AND THE STARTLED HSR WAKES THE WOMAN UP AND ASKS, " HEY THERE! HOW...WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING IN HERE?" AND THE WOMAN ANSWERS, "THE SAME THING THAT YOU'RE DOING...CHECKING OUT THE BEAUTIFUL SIGHTS...JUST LOOK AT CARLSBAD VILLAGE BEACH THERE!"...


..."BUT SIR...WHAT IS YOUR NAME" SHE ASKS, AND HE SAYS, "MY NAME IS HSR, DR. R" AND SHE CONTINUES, "WELL, DR. R, YOU SHOULD MAKE THE BALLON GO HIGHER, BECAUSE WE'RE ALMOST ON THE WAVES!" AND THE DOG BARKS ONCE IN AGREEMENT, AND HSR, SEEING THIS, LETS MORE HOT AIR INTO THE BALLON TO ASCEND MORE AND HE SAYS, "LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A LOT OF HOT AIR TO GO AROUND HERE" AND SHE SIDE GLANCES AT HIM, BUT HE CONTINUES, "WELL, ANYWAY, WHAT IS YOUR NAME YOUNG LADY?" AND SHE SAYS BACK, "MY NAME IS SUGAR, SUGAR ROSE, AND THIS IS MY DOG "FURRY." AND FURRY LIGHTLY BARKS ONCE AND STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE AND BREATHES...AND NOW THEY GAZE WITH WONDER AS THEY PASS OVER CAMP PENDLETON...


AND SUGAR ROSE POINTS AND SAYS, "OH LOOK!...A WHALE!...


AND MISS ROSE SMILES AND SAYS, "YOU KNOW DR. R, I THINK THAT WE MAKE BEAUTIFUL VIEWS TOGETHER!" AND HSR ROLLS HIS EYES AND JUST GETS ON WITH THE TRIP, THINKING ABOUT DUMPING THEM OFF AT THE NEXT STOP, THEN ROSE PULLS OUT SOMETHING FROM HER PURSE, AND SAYS, "DR. R! I HAVE SOME TREATS FOR US...I KNOW THAT YOU MIGHT BE GETTING HUNGRY! OKAY, HERE'S SOME CELERY AND COCONUT-ALMOND BUTTER...PROBABLY YOUR FAVORITE, NO?" AND HSR KNITS HIS BROW WHILE HALF-SMILING, AND THINKS TO HIMSELF, "HOW DID SHE KNOW THAT?"
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“Don't chew more than what you have bitten off!“
















She is the type of woman that guys…would not write to their mothers about…

…and maybe not even take home to meet the family!…

…but guys would certainly chat and text to their friends about her…

…please, make no mistake about this!...

She exudes high-end everything…

Over-the-top ostentatiousness…


…the car…


the clothes!...


the diamonds!...


…the perfume!...

And her body…

…speaks, no, shouts, for itself…

…she looks like a billionaire’s girl friend!

And she swears that she’s surgical-enhancement free!...

Is she Mother Nature’s most sought after daughter?

So, she pulls up in to the parking lot of the megadentist that is highly recommended to her…

One Dr. Randy Gingivich…



He only works one day a week now, and is about to retire…

…and a lot of people want to get their work done by him before he moves to the Caribbean, to cool out to the max, and where everything is, as he puts it, “super beautiful”…


...especially the sunsets...

Now, she walks her way into the Doctor’s office!


Yes, everybody knows her...she's Jessica R.!

So, she's in the dental chair now, and the Dr. walks in...and his mouth drops open!...


"There you are, Doctor. I have searched for you far and wide...and now I finally see you...I am so beside myself," she confesses.

"Well, you could have just simply found me on the Internet," replies the Doctor.

"Ooh, I like  your fire, Doctor. But I am here because I hear that you have the best technique...and have had for years...anyway, I want you to show me how..." as she sort of wiggles the words out.

And she says that she's ready to learn, and that she wants you, the Dr., to show her, and that she will do what ever the Dr. wants, right now!

OMG!, Dr. Gingivich has an attack of double vision!...while his patient emotes!...



And she actually says--you can read her lips!--"So what's it going to be Dr. Gingivich, the string, or the toothpick?"

And she finishes with, "I'm "DTF" with you right now!"

Then, Dr. Gingivich thinks he is almost having a Fred Sanford moment, calling for "Elizabeth!"...and...


Jessica purrs, "Please, Doctor, let me take a deep breath and then we can get started!



"Oh, yes, and Dr!..."DTF" only means "Down To Floss!”

"Sir, are you turning red?"

"Well, tell me...what else do you think I could have been talking about?," Jessica innocently, yet winkingly, inquires!

So, without answering the question, the Doctor wipes his brow and thinks, "Whew!" and settles back down, and...

...he shows her...how to efficaciously floss with great technique...and that's the end of this story...before anyone, including me, gets in trouble!







May you have many…see no evil, speak no evil, and hear no evil--and most importantly--do no evil!...ah, yes, salads--the kaleidoscope of the fruit and vegetable worlds!...excuse me--may I have some seconds and maybe even thirds of that delicious food? Thank you!… smiles!