Friday, November 18, 2016

Turkey Farmers "Ain't Smilin'" After Thousands Of Turkeys Escape!

I see you with that big smile, just anticipatingly and lip-lickingly tucking your napkin in the front of your shirt, and I hear and see you rubbing your knife and fork together to “warm them up for extensive use,“ while you get ready to dive in and dig deep into that juicy



 and “fresh out the oven” Thanksgiving meal, and your “we are imaginatively and intellectually wired to conquer space travel—so bring it on!” smile, can’t wait to get to the “Sweet Potato Cake” part, because while you’re eating that, with some Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream, you’re going to gaze at the Big 3D Holographic Space in the family room, and pick up where you left off of the preface last seen on the post, “Doomed Turkey Does This...To The Dentures...Of The Farmer Trying To Catch Him For Thanksgiving Dinner!..." AND THERE, WE FIND THE 11 YEAR OLD HSR GETTING OFF OF A BIG YELLOW SCHOOL BUS...


 AND IS ABOUT TO WALK 6 MILES THROUGH THE THICK WOODS AND DEEP SNOW


TO GET HOME, AND HE HAS NO PROBLEM WITH THIS TREK BECAUSE HE’S FAMILIAR WITH ALMOST EVERY TREE IN THIS BIG FOREST, BUT ALONG HIS WAY, HE HEARS SOME SOUNDS, SO IMMEDIATELY AND INSTINCTIVELY, HE CROUCHES DOWN NEXT TO A TREE FOR COVER, AND HE SPOTS SOME WOLVES THAT ARE HOT ON THE TRAIL OF SOME PREY


THAT THEY HAVE JUST SEEN, AND HSR LOOKS TO WHERE THEY ARE GOING, AND THEY ARE HEADED STRAIGHT TO A MOTHER REINDEER AND HER CALF,



WHICH PROBABLY MAKES THE WOLVES “THANKSGIVINGLY HAPPY,” BUT THE MOTHER REINDEER FIGHTS OFF THE WOLVES SOME, AND THEN LURES THEM AWAY FROM HER BABY,



SO THE BABY DEER RUNS THE OTHER WAY, AND, SEEING ALL OF THIS, HSR CHASES AFTER THE SMALL DEER, AND AFTER A WHILE OF RUNNING, HE CATCHES UP TO THE TIRED DOE, AND LOOKS AT IT AND SAYS TO IT, “HEY, LITTLE BUDDY,


...LET’S GET OUT OF THIS DANGEROUS AREA! COME ON, LET’S GO!,” AND THE LITTLE DEER HESITATES AT FIRST, THEN LOOKS BACK IN HIS MOTHER’S DIRECTION, AND IT HEARS SOME FAINT FIGHTING AND GROWLING NOISES, THEN DECIDES TO STEP CAREFULLY AND FOLLOW HSR, SO THEY WALK A WHILE AND PASS BY A STREAM,


AND LOOK AT A MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN,


BECAUSE AFTER ALL, THIS IS PAYNTER ISLAND, CANADA


WHERE THE AIR IS “BOTTLED FRESH,”


SO HSR AND THE BABY REINDEER KEEP WALKING ALONG TOWARD HSR’S PLACE, BUT AFTER A WHILE, HE HEARS SOME NOISES BEHIND HIM, SO HE GRABS THE DOE AND HIDES BEHIND A SET OF ROCKS


AND WAITS…AND WAITS…AND GUESS WHAT IT’S MOMMA DEAR!...SHE’S BACK!... WHOA!... SHE MUST HAVE PUT A WHUPPIN’ ON THOSE WOLVES!...

SHE LOOKS A LITTLE BANGED UP, BUT SHE WALKS TO THE SMALL DOE, THEN LICKS IT 


AND THEN THEY WALK ALONG THEIR WAY…

AND HSR THINKS, “OH, ISN’T THAT TOO CUTE!”...

SO HSR STARTS HEADING HIS WAY BACK HOME, BUT AFTER WHILE, HE HEARS SOME MORE SUSPICIOUS SOUNDS BEHIND HIM…AND IT’S ANOTHER WOLF!...

AND THIS ONE LOOKS REALLY MEAN…


…AND REALLY HUNGRY!...

...SO, HSR QUICKLY CHECKS AROUND FOR THE BEST TREE TO CLIMB RIGHT NOW…YES, THERE’S ONE!... SO HE SCAMPERS UP QUICK, FAST, AND IN A HURRY…AND JUST IN TIME…BECAUSE THE BIG BAD WOLF IS JUST RUDELY AND VORACIOUSLY NIPPING AT HIS HEELS…

SO…

HSR CONTINUES CLIMBING UP TO A STRONG BRANCH AND SITS ON IT TO WAIT IT OUT… THEN, HE REMEMBERS THAT HE HAS SOME FRESH RAW MEAT...



AND HIS SLING SHOT



IN HIS BACK PACK (ALONG WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF)…SO HE GETS OUT SEVERAL BIG CHUNKS AND SHOOTS THEM A LONG WAY AWAY…

...AND THE WOLF HEARS IT HIT THE SNOW,...

SO IT LEAVES HSR AND RUNS A LONG DISTANCE TO GET TO THE RAW MEAT…AND HSR SHOOTS ANOTHER BIG CHUNK IN ABOUT THE SAME PLACE, AND TWO OTHER WOLVES HEAR AND SMELL IT...

AND IN A LITTLE WHILE, THE WOLVES START TO FIGHT AMONG THEMSELVES FOR MORE CHUNKS THAT HSR KEEPS SHOOTING OUT…

SO WITH THE WOLVES TEARING EACH OTHER APART OVER THE REMAINING FOOD, HSR CLIMBS DOWN THE TREE IN A HURRY AND HEADS HOME, BUT IT’S STARTING TO GET DARK SO HE HEADS TO AN EMPTY CABIN,



WHICH IS A REFESHING SIGHT RIGHT NOW…SO HE WALKS ON IN, AND NOBODY’S THERE…SO HE LOCKS THE DOOR AND SETS UP A SMALL FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE AND BREAKS OPEN A CAN OF CHILI BEANS AND SPAM, AND WARMS IT UP AND IS ABOUT TO HEARTILY DIG IN…

BUT SOMETHING KNOCKS AND SCRATCHES ON THE DOOR…

AND THE DISTURBED HSR THINKS, “WT…”…

SO NOW HE GETS UP AND WALKS CAUTIOUSLY OVER TO THE DOOR AND TRIES TO SEE THROUGH THE CRACKS AND SPACES IN THE OLD AND WORN WOODEN DOOR, BUT HE CAN’T SEE A THING…

...AND HE HEARS SOME MORE SCRATCHES… SO HE UNLOCKS IT AND SLOWLY OPENS THE SQUEAKY DOOR, WHICH PROUDLY SINGS IN HIGH NOTES…AND…

..."WHOA! WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!"...
                                                                                        See the Love Toothbrush®                                   














“We’re making machines and computers with AI power, but will those contraptions “get along” among themselves better than humans do?“


















I saw my Cousin Roscoe through the window last year at about this same time!



And I had nightmares for a long time!...Those humans thought it was cute and everything to devour Roscoe...just laughing and drinking out loud for what seemed like forever!

But this year...thing's gonna change!

I, Theodore Thomas The Turkey, am hatching a plan...


Meeting with the other turkeys, I propose, "Hey guys...here's the plan...

"It's simple, and it'll save all of our lives!...Can I get an Amen?," Theodore Thomas sermonizes,


And the other turkeys gobble out loud, "Amen!"

Theodore continues, "I've had it up to here, and I just can't take it anymore!...

"I'm telling you guys...they're making fun of us...just rubbing it in!


"On TV comedy shows...

..."and on cooking shows!


"I see all of this through the window when the humans aren't looking!..."

So, now, for my first move, I'm acting normally, and now, I act like I have a veterinary problem...


I have the overseer's attention now...they're coming over to check me out!

Now, I attack the turkey manager!...with a vengeance!


...and chase him away down the road!


Good!

Now, Bobbie and Vinnie, go tell the others to flee...


...and run for their lives!...all of them!



That's it!...move along, quickly!

Barnabee just has to get a good lick in before he leaves...


 ...on the kid that keeps teasing him and pulling his feathers!

Yes! We're saving whole families!...Great!


That's right...let's go back to where we belong!


In the bushes...in the wild!...Whew!


Uh oh, guys...I think we made a wrong  turn!...


Crap! I smell turkey burgers!

Let's get out of here...now!...

.




May you have many…when you daydream while driving (DWD) what’s the farthest place away that you’d rather be?…is breathing severely polluted air better than not breathing at all?...is sleep the body’s way of putting its foot down and declaring, “No more Input/Output, guys! (Cognitive Shutdown)?...smiles!

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