"World Peace and Unity!...That's what We need!... It may seem Impossible...
to achieve,
but it's better than just
packing up and moving
to Mars and the Moon,
and taking our People Problems
there, too!"
"HSR!...
For the Present I
want to get you,
I'll
need to take your measurements!
"Thank You, Hollywood,
for putting up
the Tree in
our Town Square!
I, and the members
of the City Council
will make sure
that you are
given a
Gift
Worthy of Your Efforts!"
"Hey, Doctor Report!...
I'm having some Friends over
to watch the
Football Game!...
...Wanna Come!"
"Hollywood!...
Earlier this year,
I said,
"Have a Great Day Everyday!'
And that goes...
for Today, too!"
"Your name is
Doctor Report
and your car just
broke down?...
Well...the closest town is
25 miles from here,
and there's a
huge Snow Storm coming
for a whole week!...
I don't know you,
but,
you're welcome to stay here!...
I have
lots of Food and Water!
Do I have Hot Chocolate?...
Yes!...
...Do I have marshmallows!...
Yes!...
Do I have the tiny ones!
Yes, I do!...
So...you'll stay?...
...Yipee!"
"This truly
is
'My Time Of The Year!'
The Air is so
Fresh
and Crispy
and so Clean
that
I can
'Sniff In' the
Best Breaths!"
"There's HSR...
...just 'Dancing Up A Storm'
at this
Christmas Party!
I am going to
'Telepathically Implant'
a
'Nidus of Thought'
into his Mind now,
and
'Enter His Dreams'
tonight!"...
"This Christmas,
I am going to
take the Initiative
and I am going to
Give, Give and Give some more!...
Yes!...I have
received Many Blessings,
and
I shall
'Spread Goodness Around!'"
"Mommy should really like
what
we
are doing with the Tree!"
"Last Year,
I was standing right here,
and I saw
Santa...
going Roof Top to Roof Top!"
You and your
"Boo!....
I
found you!"
smiles
are
too impatient
and can't wait to
'Break 'Um Open!'
Your
'Easy to Remember'
Episode Today
is brought to you by
some people
Underwater!
They are making a big splash...
...and think that they...
can be understood...right?
And of course,
Underwater
is their
Playground!
Now, that's Power!
This Electric Eel feels relaxed and
doesn't want to shock this guy!
But be nice to
the animals down there,
or
else!...
Yes!...
Be gentle and appreciative!...
That way,
you won't
have to
'Run For Your Life!'
"Wait!...
....Hollywood!...
Is that Mistletoe?"
You 'Gotta Be
On Top Of Your Game'
every second with
Speed Skating!
One split-second lapse of judgement...and....
you'll be 'Smelling The Ice'
just like HSR!
But, wait!...
The Competitiors
are crowding out
HSR and he
slides out!...But...
He gets back up,
and
later,
'Whoa!'...
the others
all
wipe out,
and HSR wins!...Oh My!...
But,
in true-to-form-fashion,
two seconds later...
HSR does not disappoint
with his mishaps!
And still true to form...
HSR'S MISSTEPS AND
MISTAKES
JUST KEEP ON ROLLING IN!
YES!...THERE'S MORE!
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THIS BLOG WOULD NOT
HAVE THE SAME
FLAVOR
WITHOUT
HSR'S VULNERABILITIES
ON
OBVIOUS DISPLAY!
HEY,
HE'S ONLY HUMAN...OR,
MORE SPECIFICALLY,
HOMO CYBERGRAPHICUS,
BUT,
THAT FACT
IS NOT COMMON KNOWLEDGE!
BUT HSR'S STILL GOING
TO GET
'SQUEEZED ROYALLY' TODAY!...
...JUST WATCH!...
...THIS TIME,
IT ALL STARTED
DURING,
Our Eyes First Met At A Hot New Year's Party!...And...
She Has The Best Smile I've Ever Seen!"
DURING
"Hey, Doc…How Many Types Of Smiles
Are There, Anyway?,"
AND THERE,
HSR,
IS,
OF COURSE,
ON BREAK FROM USC
DENTAL SCHOOL,
AND HE'S
VISITING A
BAR AT KINNIKINNICK
CAMPGROUNDS
BY PORT EDWARD,
BRITISH COLOMBIA, IN CANADA,
AND HSR GOES THROUGH
MANY CHANGES
BUT,
HE EVENTUALLY
WAKES UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
...OR RATHER,
IN THE MIDDLE OF
"SNOW
WHERE!"...
SO,
NOT REMEMBERING NOW HOW
HE GOT THERE
HE
NOTICES HIMSELF
WITH A CONTINGENT OF
OBEDIENT SLED DOGS AND
A SLED!...
SO, HE
DETERMINES TO DIRECT
HIS JOURNEY
TOWARD THE EAST,
THINKING THAT
HE'LL
BE LUCKY ENOUGH
TO RUN INTO
'CIVILIZATION!'
AND WITH THAT...
THEY ARE OFF
AND RUNNING!
AND AFTER A WHILE,
AS THE SUN STARTS TO SET
IN THE "FROZEN ZONE,"
HE AND THE DOGS,
VERY FORTUNATELY,
AND BY CHANCE,
ENCOUNTER THIS LADY
OUTSIDE
AND SHE OFFERS HER PLACE
TO COME IN FROM THE COLD!...
BUT,
AFTER A DAY OR TWO (TWO!)
OF REST AND RELAXATION,
HSR , DECIDES THAT HE MUST KEEP MOVING,
SO,
HE TAKES OFF EAST AGAIN
BUT,
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!...
A REALLY BIG
AND BAD
SNOW STORM
HITS!
AND HSR CAN'T EVEN SEE IN FRONT OF HIM
SO, HE TRUDGES AHEAD A LITTLE MORE,
THEN,
HSR,
WITH HIS FREEZING SELF,
PITCHES A TENT
AND HE AND THE DOGS RIDE OUT THE STORM SOME,
WHILE HSR DREAMS ABOUT
A WOMAN THAT'S
TRYING TO TELL HIM
SOMETHING...
BUT
HE JUST CAN'T MAKE OUT
WHAT SHE'S SAYING,
HOWEVER,
IN THE MORNING,
HE GOES OUTSIDE THE TENT
AND HSR IS SHOCKED TO SEE
OMG!...A HOT SPRING!
PLUS,
A PRETTY
AURORA!...
SO,
AS HE WARMS UP IN THE WATER...
...HOLY COW!
A HUNGRY AND SAVAGE
WOLF APPEARS!
WHAT'S THIS!...
THAT WOLF MORPHS
AND CHANGES INTO
A SNOW WOMAN
AND SHE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A COUPLE OF MOMENTS...
THEN SHE SAYS,
"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU
LONGER THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE!
BUT,
NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE,
I WILL BRIEF YOU!...
...
YOU ARE
THE ONLY ONE ALIVE
THAT
HAS THE TRAITS TO UNEARTH
THE TREASURES
NEEDED TO SAVE
THE STATUS QUO OF THE EARTH!...
BUT...
...BEWARE!
THERE ARE OTHER
COMPETING
POWERS, FORCES, AND
EVEN
PLASMATIDS
TRYING TO TAKE AWAY
WHAT YOU WILL FIND!"
"POWERS LIKE WHAT?" ASKS HSR,
JUST BARELY BELIEVING
WHAT HE IS NOW SEEING...
"FROSTMANON
WILL TRY AND FREEZE YOU IN YOUR TRACKS...
AND
SNOWDALITH
WILL TRY TO
SUCK THE LIVING HEAT
OUT OF YOU AND YOUR DOGS!" THE WOMAN
WARNS...
AND EVEN VERY ATTRACTIVE, HUMAN-LIKE
FORMS WILL TRY TO TRICK YOU!"
"WELL, WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR,
AND WHERE WILL I GO?" ASKS HSR...
"FIRST, YOU WILL PROCEED TO THE EXACT
MIDPOINT BETWEEN TRUE NORTH
AND
MAGNETIC NORTH!"
"HOW WILL I KNOW WHEN I'M THERE!"
DESPERATELY ASKS HSR...
"FIRST, YOUR COMPASS WILL SPIN LIKE CRAZY,
AND THEN,
THE AURORAS
WILL APPEAR!
BUT THE AURORAS THAT YOU WILL SEE
WILL BE
FAR FROM "NORMAL!"
FROM THERE, YOU WILL RECEIVE FURTHER GUIDANCE
FROM THE VOICE OF
BORIS BOREALIS!"
"YOU'RE NOT
PLAYING WITH ME ARE YOU!" CRIES HSR...
"NO," SAYS
THE SNOW LADY,
AS SHE TURNS BACK INTO
A WOLF!
BUT, BEFORE SHE WALKS AWAY,
SHE SAYS,
"BEWARE OF THE FORCES TO YOUR LEFT!"
AND HSR LOOKS TO HIS LEFT
AND SEES
SOME OTHER WOLVES!
"NOW...
...BE GONE!"
ORDERS THE WOMAN!
...
AND WITH THAT, THE WOMAN/WOLF
RUNS OFF,
AND THE SLEIGH DOGS,
NOT SCARED OF
THE TWO THREATENING WOLVES,
TRY TO QUICKLY
SURROUND THEM
TO TEACH THEM
A REAL GOOD LESSON,
BUT THE WOLVES, SENSING
IMMINENT DEFEAT,
HIGH TAIL IT
OUT OF THERE!
NOW,
IN THE DARKNESS,
HSR SETS UP A TENT,
AND HE AND THE DOGS,
GET A LITTLE REST!....
AND AS HSR
CREEPS INTO DREAMLAND,
HE ENVISIONS
A
CONTROVERSIAL ACQUINTANCE
FROM HIGH SCHOOL,
AND ANOTHER VISION
MATERIALIZES
WHICH MAKES HSR
SMILE SOME!
THEN ANOTHER SIGHT APPEARS BEHIND
HIS CLOSED AND SLEEPING
EYES!
NOW THIS LADY SPEAKS TO HIM...
"MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ONE!...
PLEASE LOOK OUTSIDE AND SEE A SIGN!"
WHAT'S THIS?...
NOW,
HSR WAKES UP
AND GOES AND
STANDS OUTSIDE THE TENT
AND LOOKS IN THE SKY
WHOA!
WHAT A LIGHT SHOW!
NOW THE VISION'S VOICE SPEAKS
TO HSR,
"THE NEXT AURORA
WILL POINT YOU TO A CAVE!
PROCEED
CAUTIOUSLY...
TO YOUR NEXT PLACE!"
SO, NOW,
HSR SEES
A PLACE WHERE
THE TWO TREE
LINES MEET!
AND
AFTER WALKING OVER THERE,
HE SEES
A CAVE!
AND HE IS THINKING
ABOUT GOING INSIDE...
"YES, MY LITTLE PRETTY,
GO INSIDE...IT'S VERY WARM...
AND THERE'S FOOD
FOR YOU!"
SAYS
SNOWDALITH!
BUT NOW, THE
FIRST IMAGES COMES BACK
TO HIM...
"NO MY CHILD, THAT
IS A CAVE OF DANGER!...
YOU ARE TO GO
TO
THE ONE OVER THERE...
WHICH IS
JUST UNDER THE
NEWEST AURORA!"
NOW,
HSR WALKS QUICKLY
TO GO INSIDE, BUT,
SNOWDALITH WILL
'HAVE NONE OF THAT!'
AND
SHE
CREATES A
DEADLY
AVALANCHE
TO KEEP HIM OUT!
HOWEVER, HSR BARELY MAKES IT
IN THE CAVE!
SO NOW, HE'S SAFE...
BUT...
HE ALSO FEELS LIKE
HE'S...TRAPPED!.
DESPERATELY
GRABBING HIS FLASHLIGHT,
HSR TURNS IT ON
AND SEES
THIS!...
NOW HSR THINKS,
"SO WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO FIND HERE,
OR,
IS SOMETHING
GOING TO FIND ME?"
"Let's do the North Pole
Macarena!"
Hey, Hey, Hey!
or rather,
Ho, Ho, Ho!!
It's getting to be that Time,
right?
"Duh, what Time
is that?"
Yo!...
It's almost
Time for the Big
'C!'
"Yeah...
Dat's right!"
So anyways,
Santa is gearing up
for the Big
Marathon of
passing out
Billions of Gifts!
And he's doing many
Talk Show
appearances
and
finding out what
Little Kids
and
Big Kids
Have on their
Wish Lists!
Santa's also doing some
crazy things,
like
Christmas Tree
Flying
Tackles!
But,
right now,
there's a
'Lull In The Action!'
So,
he's just taking care of his
Reindeer team!
But...there's always one...
...in this case, Rudolf's Big Brother...
and Santa has to get
'Down and
Dirty' with him,
to make him 'Behave!'
And, after all of that,
he tells one of the
Reindeer,
"In just a few days,
we are all
going to go
on our
Annual Ride! Do you
like that...
...hey, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy?"
And after some work
at home,
Santa gets a call from
a
'Transportation Technician'
that has some of the
'Lastest Gear' for him!
"Honey," Santa
says to Mrs Claus,
"I'm going to pick up a
New Radio
and Navigation for
the Sleigh to
'Pimp My Ride' a little!...I'll
be back!"
So when Santa
gets to the
'Transportation Technician,'
he says,
"Hey, Scotty!...
Good to see you!
Whatcha got for me!"
"Greetings, Santa!
Hey, Buddy...you know that
I'm just
looking out
for my
'Main Man!'" says the
'Technician!'
"Let's put you into the 21st Century,
to let you know where
you are,
and,
hook you up
with the Latest Sounds!...
Check this out!...
And it's all controllable with your
finger and your phone!"
Now,
Santa asks,
"So,
I won't have any
problem with this?"
And the guy says,
"That's right!...
You can
Trust Me!"
So the guy installs it
in Santa's sleigh...
Then the guy asks,
"Hey Santa, can
you make me some
doughnuts with my car in the
Parking Lot?"
And an excited Santa
gets in the Lambo,
and
'Tears
it Up!'
Now, Santa
gets up the next morning to
take his Sleigh on a test drive
with the new Nav, but
after flying a while,
there's a serious
malfunction!
Maybe it's the
new wiring!
Shucks!...
Now,
Santa's
got some Major Problems!
Plus,
he has to
walk back home!
"There are just a few days
before
the
'Big Crunch' is on...
What'll I do?" he asks himself.
And after unhitching
the reindeer
and walking away some,
The sleigh explodes and...
"Whoa," Santa exclaims!
as he picks himself up
from
the Blast!...
So, when Santa gets home,
he's all sad, and says,
"I
'ain't got no' sleigh!...what'll I do?"
So, he's moping all around the house...
...then,
Santa's Niece
comes to him and says,
"Uncle Santa, I know
some people in Aviation,
and they can
let you borrow one of their
fancy Jets that can
go Mach
2 or 3!"
Now Santa says,
I have so many stops to make that
the jet may be impractical!"
At that moment...
somewhere in the Karma Ether,
a Happening Occurs:
"Calling All Elements!:
The Air,
the Wind,
the Land,
the Water,
and the Snow!...
We need to 'Take Care'
of the Sequences of Events,
so that
Santa can get going
and
'Bear His Gifts'
to the World!"
Now,
Back to the Real World:
"Well, I have an idea, Uncle Santa!
I have a friend
that has some
Helicopters, and,
he may be a
Great Resource for you!
So, now, Santa has
a 'Glimmer
of Hope' in
his eyes!
and so do some of
the other people
at Home!
Now, Santa
makes it on over to
the Copter Shop!
And after signing all of the papers and
getting some lessons,
Santa's Ready To Go!
Now, he walks to one
and tries it
out
for size!
And yes!...
Santa's got the
hang of it!...
Now, when he gets home,
he's so
Happy!
And he says,
I'm gonna fly
for Christmas! I'm gonna fly
for Christmas!
But,
Santa does have one concern
abut the future
of package delivery...
He thinks, "I just hope that
I won't be replaced by
Fleets of Drone Robots! But," he continues
I saw a
New-Fangled Rudolf Reindeer
and I don't think Rudy has to
worry about
Job Security...any time soon!"
So, Ladies and Gentlemen,
and Boys and Girls...
It looks like
The Christmas Deliveries
are
Still On!
May you have many...
..."The House is too hot!...
I had to come outside, just for
a second!...
It feels so refreshing!
But I can tell that
there is a
'Wind Chill Factor' coming up!
Well,
that's all for now!...
I'm going back inside!"...
..."OMGosh!...
Here comes HSR now,
with his heated
well stocked,
and
full-of-gas RV!"...
..."Now,
as soon as they come
around the Corner...
they're 'Goners!'"...
...Dr. Report!...Your
homo cybergraphicus
Family
...smiles!
"It's the Truth,
when I say that
"You're the 'Best Present'
that a Girl Can Have!"
that a Girl Can Have!"
My Favorite Dentist told me
to see him twice a Year!'...
So,
you know what I
did?...I...
Saw Him
Two Days In A Row Last Week!"...
Meanwhile...Back Down Below
The Trap Door
Under The
Christmas Tree!...
"Oh My Gosh!....
That's
Hollywood at the
Door Now!"
"I Went to the
Dental Supply Store
and picked up
this Outfit
that has
all of the
latest 'Bells and Whistles!'"
"Yes!...
We attack tonight!...
Which is when
their
'Oceans of Saliva'
will be
nowhere to be found!"
"With my new
'Wingnium-Tipped Scalers,
My Debridement
will definitely
be complete!"
"Aaaah...My little
Stones of Golden Calculus!...
We are
going on a trip
to
'Your New Home!...
In someone's Mouth!'...
"After wiping out
Millions and Millions of them...
I shall rest and recharge
in the Lymph Nodes
by
this Patient's
Protective Antibodies!
"That Hygienist was Tasty!...
...Let's have another!"
"Ho, Ho, Ho!...
...Hey!...A Selfie
with Rudolph!...
...Sweeeeet!
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