"Hi There, Handsome...Why Don't You...Send Your Little Sister Home...And...Let's Go For...A Ride...
...In The Countryside!"...
"Ahh!...To be recognized for
My Hard Work!...
...Yes!"
Preparing for the Day...
...is So Important!
"It's so Hot that, we need
Snow, not Rain!"
You and Your
'now that I have my Braces off, I am Unstoppable’
Smiles
are
not needing any
Dating Sites!
This
'the Consequences of Beauty...I Love Them!'
Episode
is
brought to you by
Outlandish Headgears!
Good Day, Ladies…
I probably don’t
Need to tell you!...but…
If You have a Good Man,
Watch Out!...
…I mean…
My Sweet, Sweet Boyfriend
just got his Braces off last week,
and
everyday…
…I mean everyday,
Women,
and many
of them Very Beautiful,
are trying to ‘Get To Him,’
with me even standing right there,
even while He's in
My Arms!...
...I can’t believe how desperate
some of them
are!
On the first day that
he got the braces off,
we went to go pick up My Car,
and these
‘Desperahoes’
were trying to ‘Hook Him!’…
...Even the Ladies who were the Mechanics!...
Then…
...the next Day,
We were at the Mall,
and,
Chicks were sashaying
and ‘Shaking It’
while walking by Us and
They kept bumping
into him
on purpose,
and calling me his ‘Little Sister!’…
…I tell you,
I deserve an Award
for showing a lot of
‘Self Restraint’ on some of Them!....
Oh, and then the next day,
we tried to get away from it all
by going Bike Riding!...
...Wrong Move!...
...It seems like they came out in ‘Droves,’
just to mess with me and get to Him!...
What those Women
to get His Attention…
...I never thought that
I would see it!...But…
Today…in this
‘too Hot’ weather…
...I really need to go to the Beach!...
...A secluded Beach!...
Where a lot of Them…
...aren’t!...
And
then I can
finally relax
and let my hair down
and show My Man
the Love He So Naturally deserves!
So
we’re on our way to
‘Hidden Shores Bay’
right now!...
...Yes...
...that One!...
And
on Our way,
there are the obligatory cars with Girls
waving at Us…or rather,
Him,
but as long as they
‘keep going,’
I’m fine!...
Then,
there are the
Girls walking on the Street
and, I’m glad that We are passing
Them by!...
...So now,
we are at the Beach Parking Lot,
and
We make it out to the Sand and Shore, and
it’s so Beautiful,
with a Cool Breeze, and
nobody's around!...
...Finally!...
...I can Relax!...So,
I go out
for a quick dip in the cool water,
and
after a while,
I come back and
give My Honey,
who is standing there
waiting for me,
a Hug!...
...Sweet!...
...OMG!...Wait!...What's this!...
A Bunch of People are
rushing onto
And...
all of them
...are...
...Clothing Optional People!...What?...
And they are choosing
'The Option!'...Not!...
Now...They are gathering
all
around Us and especially
My Boyfriend!...
So I grab My Stuff,
and grab His Arm...
and we March On Out
of there, immediately!
And on Our Way out of there,
I now see the Clothing Optional Sign!
I guess that I didn't see it, in
my Rush to get here!...
...But You can Bet
that
We Ain't Never Coming Back Here!...
...
But...I am
so Happy that I have My
Man!...
“Wow,” I say, “that was way too close for comfort!”
So now,
I think that We
maybe should
get a bite to eat,
but I notice that Our Car
needs more gas.
So We pull into
the closest station to fill up.
But what’s this!
My man starts the fill up
and
OMGosh!
These women
have
Absolutely No Shame,
looking like they want to
just take my Man
and leave Me
High and Dry,
with their Nosy and
Posing selves!
Well, We scram out of there,
and that’s good!
But Now...
as we are driving,
these girls drive by Us
and one says,
“Hi there! Remember Me in High School?...You know...in the Boys Locker Room?”
And now I’m just Fuming Angry,
but
I met My Man at the University,
so I gotta
let that slide...
Okay, after driving a bit,
I want to
let off some physical frustration,
so
We go to the Fitness Gym.
I should have known better
because
there are some ‘Bs’ that
quickly jump right in front
of us
and
do some ‘so unnecessary' reps
to catch
My Man’s Eye,
and one thinks
I’m My Man’s little sister,
and she wants him to
help her
‘Finish Strong!’
Well, I hold My
Cool Very Well,
as We leave in a Hip Hop Hurry!
Wow!...He hasn't even
had his Braces off
for a week,
and already
I'm Stressed Out!
Well,
before We head Home...
...I’m thinking about
washing the Car,
but when I see
who
is doing
the washing,
I think to myself,
“Ain’t No Way!"...
...I'm putting the
'Pedal to the Metal!'
...
Now,
I have
friends who have their Men
and their Boyfriends,
and
if a Strange Woman
tries to
start
taking their Man,
They will calmly
at least at the start,
give that 'Stealer'
...or three...
...to Back the _ _ _ _ (heck?) Off!
Now,
personally,
I am against
Violence,
but I got some friends
who
'Don't
Play Dat!'
...Just last week,
one of My Girls had
to act like
'Sista Time,'
and
'Clock'
an 'Intruder!'
People are supposed to
leave
other People's
Stuff
...Alone!...Including their Man!...
But...I tell ya,
I'll try and
make my
point and
just leave
the area
if Someone tries to
take
what's Mine,
but if My Back is up against
the Wall,
I don't know
what
Might Happen!...
...However...
If 'Push Comes to Shove'...
I always
have My Friends!
Love Toothbrush®
“A new Day and a New smile both reveal
New Opportunities!”
"OMGosh!...I just got my
New Retainers!
Oh...that's Nice...
So wear them and
take care of Yourself!
...Are You Listening HSR!... Or
Do You want Your Teeth
to go back to
'Being Stuck in Buck?'
Well, I worry about that
Young Man...and you'll soon see why,
in the Post,
The Mirror Can Be A Smile’s...BFF…Or…
...It Can Be A…
...!
where...
IT'S NIGHT TIME,
AND HSR
IS IN A HURRY TO BUY
A PRESENT
FOR A FRIEND'S HALLOWEEN PARTY,
BUT
SINCE HE
GOT OFF OF WORK LATE,
THE ONLY STORE OPEN
IS THIS
FIVE AND DIME
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN
AND
IT IS
AT THE END OF THE STREET,
WHERE HE HAS
NEVER SHOPPED AT BEFORE,
SO HE WALKS
THERE AND GOES IN,
AND IT'S THE KIND OF STORE
THAT HAS A BELL THAT
CHIMES
WHEN YOU OPEN THE DOOR,
SO
HE OPENS THE DOOR
AND THE CHIME
MAKES ITS
PREDICTABLE
RADIATION,
THEN
AN OLD MAN,
THAT HSR CANNOT SEE
SAYS,
"COME ON IN SONNY,
AND QUICKLY PICK A GIFT
BECAUSE
IT'S ABOUT CLOSING TIME!,"
SO,
HSR LOOKS AROUND
AT THE ANTIQUES
ALL AROUND,
AND
HE'S THINKING ABOUT
AN ODD GIFT,
BUT
NOT TOO OBVIOUS AND SCARY,
AND HE WALKS AND
TURNS A CORNER IN THE STORE,
WHERE THE LIGHTING
IS A LITTLE DARKER,
AND THE AMBIANCE
IS A LITTLE SPOOKIER, AND
HE COMES ACROSS A
SMALL JAR
WITH LIGHTS,
THAT
DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE
A SOURCE OF POWER,
BECAUSE THE WIRE COMING OUT
IS ABOUT A FOOT LONG
BUT IT IS CUT AND FRAYED AT THE END,
AND HSR CALLS OUT TO THE OWNER,
WHOM HE STILL CANNOT SEE,
AND HE ASKS ABOUT
THE PRICE OF THE JAR, AND
THE PROPRIETOR
RESPONDS,
"OH, THAT THERE'S FOR FREE,
AND YOU CAN HAVE IT, AND
THE LIGHTS NEVER GO OFF!...
...AIN'T THAT SOMETHING!
AND HEY, SONNY,
I'M GOING OUT BACK FOR A MINUTE!,"
NOW, HSR HEARS
THE SCREEN DOOR SHUT,
AND RIGHT AFTER THAT,
HSR HEARS THE SOUND OF
TWO DIFFERENT CHAIRS SLIDING
ON THE FLOOR
FOR JUST A SECOND,
AND HE LOOKS AROUND
BUT DOESN'T SEE ANYTHING
THAT COULD CAUSE
THAT COMMOTION,
WHICH MAKES HIM THINK
TO HIMSELF,
"WELL, THE OWNER DID SAY
THAT THIS JAR IS FREE,
AND THAT I CAN HAVE IT,
SO,
WITH THE UNEXPLAINED SOUNDS
THAT I'M HEARING
IN THIS SORT OF SPOOKY PLACE,
I THINK I'LL
JUST WALK ON OUT OF HERE
RIGHT NOW,"
BUT WHEN HE
TRIES TO OPEN THE DOOR,
IT DOESN'T BUDGE...
THEN,
HE SHAKES IT HARDER
AND TRIES TO TURN THE KNOB,
BUT
NO GO!
NOW,
HE SEES A PERSON WHO IS
WALKING BY
PAST
THE FRONT OF THE STORE,
AND HE CALLS OUT TO HER,
"HEY THERE,
PLEASE
HELP ME
GET OUT OF HERE!,"
WHICH MAKES THE LADY
WALK FASTER
TO GET AWAY,
PROBABLY THINKING
THAT HSR
IS JUST PULLING
A HALLOWEEN PRANK OR SOMETHING,..
SO
NOW,
HSR IS GETTING
A LITTLE MORE SCARED
ABOUT RIGHT NOW,
AND HE LOOKS AT
THE SIGN ON THE DOOR
THAT SHOWS OUTWARD,
AND IT READS,
'CLOSED...FOR GOOD!,'
AND
THE HSR SWEARS
THAT IT SAID
'OPEN'
WHEN HE CAME IN,
SO NOW
HE TURNS AROUND
TO LOOK IN THE STORE, AND
HE WALKS UP TO THIS MIRROR
ON THE WALL,
WHICH DOESN'T SHOW
A REFLECTION,
IT JUST SHOWS
SHAPE SHIFTING
AND MORPHING CLOUDS INSIDE,
THAT TURN INTO THINGS AND
THEN BACK INTO CLOUDS,
AND THE HSR
DOESN'T KNOW WHAT
TO THINK OF THIS,
SO,
HE WALKS CLOSER TO THE MIRROR,
RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT,
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
AND AS HE REACHES OUT
ONE OF HIS
FINGERS TO TOUCH THE MIRROR,
A VOICE CALLS OUT
TO HIM AND SAYS,
"I WOULDN'T TOUCH THAT
IF I WERE YOU!,"
AND
HSR LOOKS AROUND,
BUT NO ONE IS THERE...
"WHERE DID THAT VOICE COME FROM?,"
HE THINKS,
AND SO HE
LOOKS BACK AT THE MIRROR,
WHICH STILL SHOWS
SWIRLING CLOUDS,
AND HE DECIDES TO
STICK HIS TONGUE OUT
AT THE MIRROR
AND MAKE
A RAZZY SOUND,
WITH SOME SPIT COMING OUT,
WHICH DOESN'T SIT WELL
WITH THE MIRROR AT ALL,
BECAUSE NOW THE
ROOM
AND THE MIRROR
...TURN DARK...
...
NEXT,
HSR TAKES
A DRY AND DEEP
GULP OF THE THROAT
AND
HE LOOKS
INTO
THE MIRROR AGAIN
AND SEES
SOMETHING...
SCARY STRANGE!
AND,
THAT STRANGE BEING
SAYS,
"PLEASE EXCUSE ME
WHILE I...
GET THIS ONE THING!" ...
AND WITH THAT,
HE RUNS
TO ANOTHER PART
OF THE STORE...
...WHERE OFF TO
THE SIDE,
HE SEES ONE GUY
GO INTO A
SECRET ENTRANCE!
AND TO GET OUT
OF THAT WHOLE STORE,
HSR TRIES TO PRESS WHAT EVER
THAT GUY PRESSED,
BUT
THE BOOK CASE DOESN'T OPEN UP!
NOW,
ON A TABLE NEXT TO HIM,
HE SEES A
TOY OR SOMETHING
THAT HE
IMMEDIATELY
DOESN'T LIKE!
SO
HE TIP-TOES
DOWN
ANOTHER ROW OF TOYS,
AND AT THE END OF THAT
ROW HE SEES,
OH NO!...
WHAT HE HOPES
IS
JUST A BAD JOKE!
AND NEXT,
A TOY...
...COMES HIS WAY!
SO,
HE PICKS UP
A STICK
AND KNOCKS
THAT TOY FAR AWAY,
AND THEN HE
DIGS IN HIS HEELS
TO PROTECT HIMSELF
AS OTHER THINGS
LOOK
ON!
May you have many...
...Smiles
"My... it feels
so good to have
a break from those Wings!"
“I am the New Kid…
…On the Gums!”
“I’ve been ‘Knocking Plaque Out’
for 7 Years now!”
“Hey, Sam!.... Guess what I
found ‘in the 'Stream!'"
Did you know that
some Bacteria
actually ‘Dance’ with each other?
The DNA of
carious predatorus wingeulus,
the World’s Worse Oral Bacterial Species
has just acquired a
‘transitioning-in-and-out’ Gene!
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