Doctor Hollywood Smiles Report Visits New Internet Friends in Italy...And...

SO, TODAY,

DR. HOLLYWOOD SMILES REPORT 

GETS AN EMAIL FROM A WOMAN IN ITALY,

AGOSTINA AGNELLA ALIPRANDO, 

WHO SEES HIS PICTURE ON THE INTERNET...

AND SHE NEEDS TO USE HIM AND 

HIS "PERFECT FEATURES" TO 

FULFILL HER PHD REQUIREMENTS 

IN ART SCHOOL...

AGOSTINA ONLY HAS LEFT TO COMPLETE, 

AN OIL PAINTING, A SCULPTURE, 

A WATERCOLOR, AND A LENGTHLY POEM 

TO FINISH HER TASK...

AND SHE SAYS THAT SHE LIVES IN VENICE, 

IN NORTHEASTERN ITALY...

AND THAT SHE WOULD LOVE TO 

SEE HIM AS SOON AS HE CAN 

MAKE IT OUT THERE...

SHE EVEN WIRES HIM A ROUND-TRIP AIRPLANE TICKET...

WITH ACCOMMODATIONS IN A 

FIVE STAR HOTEL FOR THREE WEEKS...

WHICH IS LIKE 

"AN OFFER THAT HE CAN'T REFUSE"...

SO DR. REPORT GETS PREPARED 

AND FLIES OUT...

AND WHILE COMING IN FOR A LANDING, 

HE IS IN AWE AT THE WATERWAYS

AND SHRINES AND MUSEUMS AND CHURCHES

AND, OF COURSE, THE...UNPARALLELED 

URBAN, OLD WORLD FLAVOR

WHICH HEAVILY INFLUENCED THE 

EARLY SENSE AND SENSIBILITIES OF THE 

EUROPEAN RENAISSANCE...AND BEFORE!...

BUT IT'S STILL VERY MUCH AVANT-GARDE IN VENICE!...

OMG! THE EARLY VENETIAN 

MASTER PAINTERS

MADE REVOLUTIONARY DIRECTIONALITIES 

AND  STATEMENTS THROUGH THEIR ART...

...WHICH STILL INFLUENCES LEADING-EDGE 

ARTISTS EVEN TODAY!

AND THEIR SCULPTORS CHANGED THE WORLD!...

ANTONIO CANOVA WAS JUST ONE OF THE 

LEADING AESTHETIC ADVOCATES THAT 

SHOCKED PEOPLE WITH SO MANY DYNAMIC, 

DRAMATIC, AND STORY-TELLING STATUES!...

SO, AFTER BUMPING INTO A WHOLE BUNCH 

OF PEOPLE ON THE CROWDED STREETS 

AND SQUARES, 

HSR GOES TO THE PLACE WHERE THE GONDOLAS ARE

SO HE CAN MAKE IT ON OVER TO 

AGOSTINA AGNELLA'S PLACE...

...AND HE SEES

A RESTING GONDOLIER, AND ASKS...

"GOOD DAY, SIR... I'M MEETING 

SOMEONE AT 1329 SANTA MARIA FORMOSA."

"SÌ, SIGNORE!," HE SAYS, 

"I SHOW EXACTLY HOW TO GET THERE...

...COME ABOARD!...

AND JUST LIKE THAT, I START MY WATER JOURNEY!...

"YOUNG MAN," HE SAYS, 

"ARE YOU HERE FOR BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?"

"I'M HERE FOR ART," HSR RESPONDS...

"AAH! THAT MEANS PLEASURE...TO THE SENSES...

...HERE IN VENICE, 

WE PLEASURE ALL OF THE SENSES, 

BUT THERE IS REALLY NO OTHER WAY 

TO LIVE, AM I CORRECT?"

HSR SAYS BACK WHAT THE GONDOLIER 

SAID TO HIM, "SÌ, SIGNORE!"

"AAH! YOU LEARN QUICKLY, LAD!" HE SAYS, 

"LOOK AND MEMORIZE THE SIGHTS, 

THE WATER, THE BUILDINGS AND...

...DREAM ABOUT THEM!"

HSR THINKS TO HIMSELF, "WHOA!...THIS 

CITY HAS A LOT OF HISTORY...

AND A LOT OF BEAUTY ...AND LOVE...

AND FRAGRANCE!"

AND THE GONDOLIER STARTS SINGING...

"DELL'AMO NON SI SA

"FUOCO NEI VOSTRI OCCHI...

"UNA PROMESSA DI AMORE ALLINEARE 

E PROTEZIONE, OOPS!...

...WE ARE HERE ALREADY, SIGNORE!" 

THE GONDOLIER SAYS...

"YOU ARE TO GO UP THESE STAIRS"...

AND HE GIVES HSR THE DIRECTIONS, 

AND HSR SAYS SOMETHING THAT HE JUST LEARNED, 

"GRAZIE, SIGNORE" TO THE GONDOLIER...

AND THE GONDOLIER SAYS, 

"VEDILO PIÙ SUCCESSIVAMENTE!" 

AND HSR RETURNS WITH A THUMBS UP, 

"SEE YOU LATER, TOO!,"

AS HE GIVES A TIP...

THEN, HSR SAYS TO HIMSELF, "I'M SUPPOSED TO CLIMB SOME MORE STAIRS...

THEN GO PAST THE BOUGAINVILLEAS...

AHH, YES THERE'S THE FOUNTAIN IN THE SQUARE...

NOW, I'M SUPPOSED TO GO 

TO ANOTHER SQUARE...

"CIAO, BELLO GIOVANE," 

SAYS THIS BEAUTIFUL LADY...

"LO HO VEDUTO... ALL'HOTEL"...

...QUANDO AVETE TEMPO...

...HO QUALCOSA...PER VOI...

...A GUSTO...

...NELLA LUCE DELLA LUNA!"...

AND HSR SAYS, 

"WOW! I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU SAID, 

BUT IT SURE SOUNDS NICE!...

I FEEL LIKE I'VE SEEN YOU BEFORE, 

BUT I CAN'T PLACE IT!...

...NICE SPEAKING TO YOU, 

BUT I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT TO GO TO. 

MAYBE I SEE YOU AROUND!"

"SI, MIO AMANTE!," SHE WISPS, 

AS SHE BLOWS A KISS!

"WOW!" EXCLAIMS HSR, 

"THE PEOPLE HERE ARE SO FRIENDLY!"

NOW, I'M SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN A SLIGHT HILL,

THEN !...TURN LEFT AND 

"SEMPRE DRITTO" DOWN A HALLWAY...

THEN LEFT AGAIN...

...AND STOP AT THE HOUSE WITH THE RED DOOR...

HEY...HERE IT IS!...

OKAAAY! SUCH PRETTY COLORS OF 

THE WHOLE RAINBOW!...

MY, THAT BALCONY IS AN IDEAL PLACE 

FOR HER TO LET HER HAIR DOWN LIKE RAPUNSEL!...

...OR A GOOD PLACE TO BE SERENADED!

I KNOCK A COUPLE OF TIMES, 

THEN WAIT PATIENTLY...AND...

A NICE WOMAN OPENS THE DOOR...

DR. REPORT SAYS, 

"HI THERE, AND GOOD DAY!  YOU'RE AGOSTINA AGNELLA?"

"NO, SHE'S MY TWIN SISTER, 

I'M BIBIANA MAFALDA...

BUT WE SHARE EVERYTHING!...

...YOU MUST BE THE AMERICAN 

SHE'S EXPECTING, DR. REPORT, NO?, SHE ASKS...

"YES, HOLLYWOOD SMLES REPORT," HE REPLIES...

"GOOD!," BIBIANA SAYS BACK...

"AGOSTINA IS WAITING FOR YOU OUT BACK...

SHE'S WORKING ON HER LOVE STORY...

JUST GO ON BACK," BIBIANA DIRECTS...

SO, HSR WALKS TOWARD THE BACK 

AND HE SEES A COUPLE OF BEAUTIFUL 

PICTURES IN THE HALLWAY...

THAT STIR UP HIS AQUATIC SENSITIVITIES...

AND THEN HE TURNS THE CORNER AND SEES HER...

AND HE SAYS, 

"HI THERE! I'M FINALLY HERE!...

I SEE THAT YOU LIKE PICTURES OF THE WATERS!"...

AND SHE WALKS OVER TO GIVE HIM 

A DIZZYING HUG AND ANSWERS, 

"YES I DO LOVE THE WATER!...

...AND HI THERE, DR. REPORT!...YOU LOOK SO GOOD!

AND SHE CONTINUES, "IN PRIMO LUOGO...

...TUTTI PRENDIAMO UN BAGNO CALDO...

 ....ALLORA DOPO, ANDIAMO ALLA SCUOLA DI ARTE."

AND HSR DOESN'T KNOW A WORD SHE'S SAYING, 

BUT HE FEELS THAT HE TRUSTS THE SISTERS 

THAT HE JUST MET...

SO HE DECIDES TO  JUST FOLLOW ALONG!...

...TO BE CONTINUED!