Dental Plaque’s Revenge: Their Creed To Destroy Every Human Mouth In The World!

-It’s HSR’s turn to make your “going commando“ smile BREAK WIDE!-

What if we as scientists uncover the following dangerous biological manifesto written within the genetic code of Staphylococcus mutans, Porphyromonas gingivalis, and all of the other bacteria and microbes in the mouth. Should we be frightened?

What if the following is true? It may read:

“Soon after the Lord pronounced the eternal phrase, “Let there be Light!,” Lo and beholdeth, my quadrillion bacterial brethren, numbering to the quadrillionth power, WE BECAME, and…

…I reach out to you, as one of many, AND COMMANDETH:

BE IT RESOLVED…

…That we shall thriveth, liveth, and prospereth off of the jungle and battlefield of the flesh and mouth of Mankind, and voraciously consumeth all of the far-and-widely flung and scattered masticated food which passeth through that unique singular oral portal,

…That we shall harken and communicate with each other with our waving flagellas and other surface projections, many of which possesseth astounding length or abbreviated brevity, and all measurements in betweeneth,

AND WE SHALL…

…With, and to the last, of our chemically-exuding pores, squeeze out many of our reactant enzymes to help us exothermically create dizzying, cascading, tsunami-like walls of our caustic ooze upon Man’s mouth, which will attack, inflame, acidify, and otherwise discombobulate our multicellular host/enemy’s cellular substances, susceptible surfaces, and intelligent ribosomal and T-cell defenses,

AND WE SHALL…

…Continue our glorious genetic mission which internally involves producing, in victorious quantities, biochemical compounds that will propagate warning signals to ourselves when we are under attack, by our host attempting to clean the mouth, or otherwise mitigate our infinite numbers, and this will prompt us to self-fortifyeth, by sharing genetic and other resources, which will also help us in finding efficient ways to circumvent any means that Man might use to controleth our mighty numbers and effects,

WE PROMISE TO…

…Never cease to incessantly reproduceth our armies, frequently and exponentially in scope, especially during the times when Man sleepeths, and the salivary flow ebbeths enough to reveal its weakened defensive flow against our take-no-prisoners, devouring forces,

BE IT RECOGNIZED, in our genetical substrate, THAT FROM THIS TIME FORWARD...

…That having sought refuse in the mouths Man for many uncountable centuries, and having totally occupied the oral cavities of his anthropological precursors, including Homo habilis, Homo erectus, Australopithecus, and all of the other species, many of which have yet to be unearthed and lab-verified by their nosy archeologists,

WE SHALL CONTINUE…

…To invadeth, prospereth, and wineth, even after our current warrior bacterial soldiers pass, and our lifeless bodies and long-chained DNA are fossilized to Medusa-calcified hardness, only to regaineth the advantage of robust multiple lives again, if any one mere small speck of our surviving cellular structure reaches out and ends up in another human oral cavity, even if that day happens many hundreds of thousand of years from now!,”

“In summary, WE OF THE MICROBIOLOGICAL BROTHERHOOD, DO REAFFIRMETH…

…All of us, as extracellular microbes, TO ETERNALLY COMMIT to taking degrading advantage of Man’s mouth for the rest of time!”…THIS SHALL BE!”

Wow!

If the foregoing possible, rambling message has any truth to it…we may be in for it! But our dental plaque germs have coevolved with Homo sapiens sapiens and all of our previous incarnations over the eons, so we’re not exactly new to each other. Oral biofilm and Man, sort of like, biologically happened together.

Does our DNA have “genetic attitude,” too?

Which leads to the next question: does DNA have psychological feelings and drives, and militaristic urges to defeat other species types of DNA aggregates? Can strands of DNA duke it out MMA Style?
(Long-chained worm wrestling?)

I eagerly look forward to the results of research in that area!

May you have many… gollee, I’m shaking in my proverbial boots!…did that bacteria just order me to put down my toothbrush and step away from the mouthwash?… can’t we all just get along?…smiles!