Friday, November 20, 2015

Doomed Turkey Does This...To The Dentures...Of The Farmer Trying To Catch Him For Thanksgiving Dinner!...

HSR JUST GOT OFF OF HIS SCHOOL BUS, WHERE IT LETS HIM OFF IN THE VERY SMALL CITY OF PAYNTER ISLAND, CANADA, AND FROM THERE, HSR HAS TO WALK 6 MILES TO HOME THROUGH THE THICK WOODS, BUT NOT TO WORRY, EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NOW THICK SNOW ON THE GROUND, AND IT'S AS COLD AS YOU KNOW WHAT, BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HSR'S ONLY ELEVEN YEARS OLD, HE'S BEEN MAKING THIS TREK BACK AND FORTH TO SCHOOL FOR YEARS, SO HE KNOWS HIS WAY AROUND, BUT THIS DAY, HOWEVER, HE HEARS SOME TROUBLING SOUNDS IN THE DEEP FOREST, SO HE QUICKLY HIDES BEHIND SOME TREES, THEN HE PEEKS AROUND TO SEE SOME WOLVES WHO HAVE SPOTTED SOME PREY...



...AND THEY ARE MAKING A MAD DASH TO EAT IT RIGHT NOW, SO I TURN THE OTHER WAY TO SEE WHAT THEY SEE, AND IT'S A MOTHER AND BABY REINDEER...


SO THE MAMA REINDEER SEES THE HUNGRY WOLVES COMING, AND CHARGES THEM TO FEND THEM OFF AND TO PROTECT HER BABY, BUT SOMEHOW THE TWO GET SEPARATED, AND THE MOM LEADS THE WOLVES AWAY WITH HER...


...MAYBE IN AN EFFORT TO SAVE HER CALF, BUT IT WORKED, BECAUSE THE WOLVES DIDN'T COME BACK, SO I WENT LOOKING FOR THE CALF TO HELP IT OUT, AND THE BABY REINDEER LOOKS BACK AT THE HSR, DOEFUL EYES AND ALL...


AND THIS CUTIE-PIE THEN TAKES OFF RUNNING DEEPER INTO THE FOREST, SO HSR CHASES IT, BUT IT'S STARTING TO GET DARK, AND NOT TO MENTION, COLDER, AND AFTER A WHILE OF RUNNING THE CALF STOPS TO REST, AND THE HSR JUST WALKS UP TO THE BABY REINDEER AND SAYS, "DON'T WORRY, LITTLE ONE, WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT OUT OF HERE ALIVE!" AND THE BABY REINDEER RUBS UP COZILY AGAINST THE HSR, KNOWING THAT IT HAS JUST NOW FOUND A GOOD FRIEND, BUT RIGHT THEN, THE HSR HEARS SOME MORE SOUNDS THAT MIGHT NOT PORTEND WELL FOR THEM SO, USING HIS WITS ABOUT HIM, THE HSR...wait...now wait...just hold your horses a minute there, young fella...you're telling me that the HSR walks twelve miles to the bus and back, and then goes some more to get to a full day of school?...well, I want him to succeed now...and I'm going to tell my friend sitting right here next to me and her "so you say that there's more to life than turkey and Christmas presents?...well, prove it to me right now!" smile, that when you're deep in a forest, be prepared to act like a "King Of The Jungle" and have mucho tricks up your sleeves!
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"For the most part, we are where we are, because we want to be there!"









My name is Big Turk, and, I'm a big, bad, and wild turkey...


I, and my turkey family, have lived on this McTater's Farm for generations on back...


...and I have a story to tell you...

On this day, sort of close to Thanksgiving...

...I am having memories of my Dad...rest his soul...


...and I'm just walking around the farm...

...eating stuff, sniffing about, and generally looking around here and there...

...and about this time of year, I get a little antsy... like something bad is going to happen...

Well, this day, some of the grandkids start to mess with me....


...and I don't feel like playing around with Betsy, who tries to egg me on, like I am some kind of bull, or something...

...so I walk on over to her like I want to peck her...


...but she still keeps on with the foolish nagging for my attention!...

So, as I said, around this time of year, I don't feel like playing around...

...so I chase her around real good...like I am really going to peck her hard..



And that way, she'll stop bothering me, and she just might think of doing other things on the farm...

...like playing with the pigs, or something...

But I think that Mr. McTater the Third, wants to hook me up for their Thanksgiving Dinner coming up...

And I want to be no part of this...

...so I run up in a tree to get out of harm's way...

So, Mr. McTater the Third calls out to Junior McTater to go fetch me, so that they can pluck and prepare me...

...and I'm thinking to myself, "Pluck No!"

So, Junior McTater, tries real good to grab me...



...but I fly away and run for my life!...

 ...and Junior runs and tries to catch me, but gives up after a while...

Now, seeing all of this with his own eyes, Mr. McTater the Third decides to take matters into his own hands, and he tries to chase and catch me with a net...

Hey, I ain't about ready to get "Plucked Up" and be nobody's Thanksgiving meal right now, so I...

...run this way and that, and turn in tight circles, and even hop over some fallen logs!...

And one of the logs make Mr. McTater the Third trip over, and curse out loud...

...and that's when his denture teeth fly out of his mouth...



...and high into the air...

...and that's when I fly fast and, of course...

...grab and "gobble" up his denture, so he can't eat me if he tried!...


It was a hard swallow with that plastic and all, but it had to go!...

...us wild turkeys have substantial, tasty, and very chewable meat...or, so I hear,

...so with this act, am I saved for a while?

I hope so...but...

...I still have nightmares about when I peeked through the window and I saw my cousin Scratch sacrificed on the table last year...


Everybody was laughing, eating too much, drinking, and having a good time..

...except for me...

...and I'm going to do whatever I can, so I won't meet the same fate anytime soon...

So watch it, people! Don't talk to me about any "Pluckin' Thanksgivin'! "






May you have many....If you have only a limited amount of time left to do something, is it wise to waste it?...when we're young, they were called diapers, and when we're older, they're called underwear--so in a way, nothing's really changed--except them!...do you like a lot of meat on your bone?...smiles!

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