Turkey Farmers "Ain't Smilin'" After Thousands Of Turkeys Escape!

I see you with that big smile, just anticipatingly and lip-lickingly tucking your napkin in the front of your shirt, and I hear and see you rubbing your knife and fork together to “warm them up for extensive use,“ while you get ready to dive in and dig deep into that juicy

 and “fresh out the oven” Thanksgiving meal, and your “we are imaginatively and intellectually wired to conquer space travel—so bring it on!” smile, can’t wait to get to the “Sweet Potato Cake” part, because while you’re eating that, with some Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream, you’re going to gaze at the Big 3D Holographic Space in the family room, and pick up where you left off of the preface last seen on the post, “Doomed Turkey Does This...To The Dentures...Of The Farmer Trying To Catch Him For Thanksgiving Dinner!..." AND THERE, WE FIND THE 11 YEAR OLD HSR GETTING OFF OF A BIG YELLOW SCHOOL BUS...

 AND IS ABOUT TO WALK 6 MILES THROUGH THE THICK WOODS AND DEEP SNOW

TO GET HOME, AND HE HAS NO PROBLEM WITH THIS TREK BECAUSE HE’S FAMILIAR WITH ALMOST EVERY TREE IN THIS BIG FOREST, BUT ALONG HIS WAY, HE HEARS SOME SOUNDS, SO IMMEDIATELY AND INSTINCTIVELY, HE CROUCHES DOWN NEXT TO A TREE FOR COVER, AND HE SPOTS SOME WOLVES THAT ARE HOT ON THE TRAIL OF SOME PREY

THAT THEY HAVE JUST SEEN, AND HSR LOOKS TO WHERE THEY ARE GOING, AND THEY ARE HEADED STRAIGHT TO A MOTHER REINDEER AND HER CALF,

WHICH PROBABLY MAKES THE WOLVES “THANKSGIVINGLY HAPPY,” BUT THE MOTHER REINDEER FIGHTS OFF THE WOLVES SOME, AND THEN LURES THEM AWAY FROM HER BABY,

SO THE BABY DEER RUNS THE OTHER WAY, AND, SEEING ALL OF THIS, HSR CHASES AFTER THE SMALL DEER, AND AFTER A WHILE OF RUNNING, HE CATCHES UP TO THE TIRED DOE, AND LOOKS AT IT AND SAYS TO IT, “HEY, LITTLE BUDDY,

...LET’S GET OUT OF THIS DANGEROUS AREA! COME ON, LET’S GO!,” AND THE LITTLE DEER HESITATES AT FIRST, THEN LOOKS BACK IN HIS MOTHER’S DIRECTION, AND IT HEARS SOME FAINT FIGHTING AND GROWLING NOISES, THEN DECIDES TO STEP CAREFULLY AND FOLLOW HSR, SO THEY WALK A WHILE AND PASS BY A STREAM,

AND LOOK AT A MAJESTIC MOUNTAIN,

BECAUSE AFTER ALL, THIS IS PAYNTER ISLAND, CANADA

WHERE THE AIR IS “BOTTLED FRESH,”

SO HSR AND THE BABY REINDEER KEEP WALKING ALONG TOWARD HSR’S PLACE, BUT AFTER A WHILE, HE HEARS SOME NOISES BEHIND HIM, SO HE GRABS THE DOE AND HIDES BEHIND A SET OF ROCKS

AND WAITS…AND WAITS…AND GUESS WHAT IT’S MOMMA DEAR!...SHE’S BACK!... WHOA!... SHE MUST HAVE PUT A WHUPPIN’ ON THOSE WOLVES!...

SHE LOOKS A LITTLE BANGED UP, BUT SHE WALKS TO THE SMALL DOE, THEN LICKS IT 

AND THEN THEY WALK ALONG THEIR WAY…

AND HSR THINKS, “OH, ISN’T THAT TOO CUTE!”...

SO HSR STARTS HEADING HIS WAY BACK HOME, BUT AFTER WHILE, HE HEARS SOME MORE SUSPICIOUS SOUNDS BEHIND HIM…AND IT’S ANOTHER WOLF!...

AND THIS ONE LOOKS REALLY MEAN…

…AND REALLY HUNGRY!...

...SO, HSR QUICKLY CHECKS AROUND FOR THE BEST TREE TO CLIMB RIGHT NOW…YES, THERE’S ONE!... SO HE SCAMPERS UP QUICK, FAST, AND IN A HURRY…AND JUST IN TIME…BECAUSE THE BIG BAD WOLF IS JUST RUDELY AND VORACIOUSLY NIPPING AT HIS HEELS…

SO…

HSR CONTINUES CLIMBING UP TO A STRONG BRANCH AND SITS ON IT TO WAIT IT OUT… THEN, HE REMEMBERS THAT HE HAS SOME FRESH RAW MEAT...

AND HIS SLING SHOT

IN HIS BACK PACK (ALONG WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF)…SO HE GETS OUT SEVERAL BIG CHUNKS AND SHOOTS THEM A LONG WAY AWAY…

...AND THE WOLF HEARS IT HIT THE SNOW,...

SO IT LEAVES HSR AND RUNS A LONG DISTANCE TO GET TO THE RAW MEAT…AND HSR SHOOTS ANOTHER BIG CHUNK IN ABOUT THE SAME PLACE, AND TWO OTHER WOLVES HEAR AND SMELL IT...

AND IN A LITTLE WHILE, THE WOLVES START TO FIGHT AMONG THEMSELVES FOR MORE CHUNKS THAT HSR KEEPS SHOOTING OUT…

SO WITH THE WOLVES TEARING EACH OTHER APART OVER THE REMAINING FOOD, HSR CLIMBS DOWN THE TREE IN A HURRY AND HEADS HOME, BUT IT’S STARTING TO GET DARK SO HE HEADS TO AN EMPTY CABIN,

WHICH IS A REFESHING SIGHT RIGHT NOW…SO HE WALKS ON IN, AND NOBODY’S THERE…SO HE LOCKS THE DOOR AND SETS UP A SMALL FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE AND BREAKS OPEN A CAN OF CHILI BEANS AND SPAM, AND WARMS IT UP AND IS ABOUT TO HEARTILY DIG IN…

BUT SOMETHING KNOCKS AND SCRATCHES ON THE DOOR…

AND THE DISTURBED HSR THINKS, “WT…”…

SO NOW HE GETS UP AND WALKS CAUTIOUSLY OVER TO THE DOOR AND TRIES TO SEE THROUGH THE CRACKS AND SPACES IN THE OLD AND WORN WOODEN DOOR, BUT HE CAN’T SEE A THING…

...AND HE HEARS SOME MORE SCRATCHES… SO HE UNLOCKS IT AND SLOWLY OPENS THE SQUEAKY DOOR, WHICH PROUDLY SINGS IN HIGH NOTES…AND…

..."WHOA! WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!"...

                                                                                        See the Love Toothbrush®                                   

“We’re making machines and computers with AI power, but will those contraptions “get along” among themselves better than humans do?“

I saw my Cousin Roscoe through the window last year at about this same time!

And I had nightmares for a long time!...Those humans thought it was cute and everything to devour Roscoe...just laughing and drinking out loud for what seemed like forever!

But this year...thing's gonna change!

I, Theodore Thomas The Turkey, am hatching a plan...

Meeting with the other turkeys, I propose, "Hey guys...here's the plan...

"It's simple, and it'll save all of our lives!...Can I get an Amen?," Theodore Thomas sermonizes,

And the other turkeys gobble out loud, "Amen!"

Theodore continues, "I've had it up to here, and I just can't take it anymore!...

"I'm telling you guys...they're making fun of us...just rubbing it in!

"On TV comedy shows...

..."and on cooking shows!

"I see all of this through the window when the humans aren't looking!..."

So, now, for my first move, I'm acting normally, and now, I act like I have a veterinary problem...

I have the overseer's attention now...they're coming over to check me out!

Now, I attack the turkey manager!...with a vengeance!

...and chase him away down the road!

Good!

Now, Bobbie and Vinnie, go tell the others to flee...

...and run for their lives!...all of them!

That's it!...move along, quickly!

Barnabee just has to get a good lick in before he leaves...

 ...on the kid that keeps teasing him and pulling his feathers!

Yes! We're saving whole families!...Great!

That's right...let's go back to where we belong!

In the bushes...in the wild!...Whew!

Uh oh, guys...I think we made a wrong  turn!...

Crap! I smell turkey burgers!

Let's get out of here...now!...

.




May you have many…when you daydream while driving (DWD) what’s the farthest place away that you’d rather be?…is breathing severely polluted air better than not breathing at all?...is sleep the body’s way of putting its foot down and declaring, “No more Input/Output, guys! (Cognitive Shutdown)?...smiles!

How Does Your Smile Look…Naked?

I’M SO PROUD OF THE HSR—JUST LOOK AT IT STANDING THERE ALL HANDSOME AND STUFF, RAMROD STRAIGHT POSTURE, IMMACULATELY TAILORED, AND BASKING AND SOAKING IN A LOUD, TEN MINUTE STANDING OVATION,

AFTER GLORIOUSLY AND RUTHLESSLY CONDUCTING AN IMPRESSIVE COMMAND PERFORMANCE FROM THE BIGGEST AND MOST WIDELY-ACCLAIMED WEST COAST SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA,

ACCOMPANIED BY EUROPE’S MOST POPULAR AND ECCENTRIC PRIMA DONNA,

WHO SANG MULTIPLE OCTAVE NOTES SO PERFECTLY, AS IF THEY WERE TRUMPETED BY THE HEAVENLY VOCALIZED ANGELS THEMSELVES, but I must exit stage left immediately, because I have to catch a "shadow"flight to a secret island off of Bermuda

that no one is supposed to talk about, and which is not even registered on any GPS system (not even Bill Gates or Sir Richard Branson know about this one!), which means that your “I just want to rush back home and get back to my Netflix” smile, will have to carry all of her hundreds of beautiful, post-performance, long-stem red roses

out to the Rolls by yourself! Ouch...those thorns!

                                                                                                Back to Love Toothbrush®                                                     

“Don’t clap…just throw money!” 

Yes!

Let’s see it!

Take it all off!...

Rouf, rouf!…

…Hey! No Heckling from you degenerates in the peanut gallery!

…It’s fine now, my little one…don’t be ashamed…it’s only you…and this session is private!

If you are missing some teeth, get a good, close look in the mirror.

Take out those partials, or full dentures, or anything that’s removable if you have them.

Now take inventory, and account for the dental blessings that you do possess!

At least you have jaws!

Did you know that millions of people over the world over are missing one or more teeth...

because of a multitude of reasons, including getting into auto, bicycle, and other accidents, or engaging in risky behaviors, also, chronically consuming nutritionally-deficient diets, complications from toxic environmental exposures, congenital problems while developing the mouth as a fetus, and a lack of adequate implements to perform daily care of the teeth, among other things.

Now, we come to the conclusive question: are you really where you want to be dentally?

If a person regularly uses any removable replacements, then there is a chance that the denture can be lost or broken. Or stolen by an underhanded competitor!

Are you about to meet some people, and you mistakenly broke your upper front teeth partial? Believe me… that would be the ultimate terror…in social situations where now people can peek into your incomplete “unclothed mouth!”

Because of this potential for loss, many people opt for permanent replacements like implants

and bridges to replace teeth that are missing, just so they won’t have to worry about losing anything.

And that way, when you orally “take it all off,” and “let the drapes open up so the sun can shine in,” there will be nothing visibly missing anyway, and the cupboard won’t be bare, and people can jealously stare…all they want at your beautiful, healthy, and potentiating…full and naked smile!

Hey, sneak us a little peek, won’t ya!

Ahh, yes!

May you have many… my friends don’t believe me, but I happen to like engaging in and tending to my garden and watering and pulling weeds and stuff to groom it…I heard a cool saying today: life is not about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself!...ahh, the depths, widths, and the heights achievable through relaxive meditation…smiles!

The Many Winge Smiles Of President Barack Obama!...

HSR, EVER SINCE HE WAS A BABY BOY, HE DREAMED...

OF BECOMING AN ASTRONAUT, SO AT 26 YEARS OF AGE, HE IS FINALLY CLEARED TO SERVE AS A PILOT ON HIS OWN SPACE SHIP AS PART OF THE UNITED STATES OF THE MILKY WAY, AND HE IS TASKED WITH CLOSELY OBSERVING UNUSUAL STARS, PLANETS, AND OTHER SPECIAL OBJECTS DETECTED BY THE NEW RONALD MCNAIR INTERGRAVITATIONAL LENS PROJECT, 

WHICH CAPTURES GRAVITONS FROM EXTREMELY DISTANT OBJECTS AND FOCUSES THEM TO YIELD THEIR DISTINCT ENERGY PATTERNS, SO NOW, HE WALKS TO THE LAUNCH PAD...

AND IS READY TO TAKE OFF ON THIS SOLO MISSION...5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

BLAST OFF!...

AND WITH THE PROPER TRAJECTORY, HSR PENETRATES THE CLOUD COVER...

AND IS WELL ON HIS WAY TO STARTING HIS DEEP SPACE JOURNEY...

AND AFTER REACHING THE PROPER ALTITUDE, HSR AND HIS SPACE SHIP SEPARATE FROM THE BOOSTER ROCKETS, AND HE'S READY TO GO!...

NOW, THIS SPACE JET IS NO REGULAR NONLINEAR-TRANSVERSING VEHICLE...

IT USES AN "INSTANTANEOUS TIME DRIVE," WHICH ACTUALLY TRAVELS FASTER THAN TIME ITSELF, YET ALLOWS HIS SHIP TO NOT CRASH INTO PLANETS AND ASTEROIDS AND THE LIKE...

SO HE RADIOS TO EARTH, "I'M ABOUT TO TRANSVERSE TO MY FIRST LOCATION, THE ZANDIAN LOCAL GROUP,"...

"ROGER, HSR, GOOD LUCK AND GOD -SPEED," SAYS THE MAN AT CONTROL CENTER...

"WE'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK WITH THE DATA, DO YOU COPY?" THE MAN CONTINUES...

"ROGER, COMMAND, I'LL SEE YOU WHEN I GET BACK!," SAYS HSR AS HE SIGNS OFF AND ENGAGES HIS TIME DRIVE...WHOA!

,

AND, OF COURSE, AT NO TIME AT ALL, HE'S STRATEGICALLY LOCATED JUST OUTSIDE THE ZANDIAN LOCAL GROUP...

WHICH IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT TO BEHOLD! SMILING WITH AWE...

AND FOCUSING HIS STELLAR CAMERA, HE GETS A FIRST-EVER-FOR-HUMANS GLANCE AT A GASEOUS OSCILLATING INTEMAR GIANT...

AND HE VISIONS AND RECORDS THE CONTINUOUS TECTONIC ACTIVITY ON ONE OF ITS MOONS!...

THE SCIENTIFIC THEORISTS WILL CERTAINLY HAVE FUN TRYING TO EXPLAIN THE SEEMINGLY PERPETUAL MOTION HERE!...

OMG! A GIGANTIC ANTI-MATTER CLOUD IS COLLIDING WITH A DARK MATTER CLOUD!...AND, OF COURSE, ACCORDING TO NUCLEAR SCIENTISTS...THE ATOMS, MOLECULES AND FAST-MOVING CHUNKS VIOLENTLY POP AND ANNIHILATE EACH OTHER!...

IN A MORE SPECTACULAR AND MORE MASSIVE WAY THAN OUR OWN 4TH OF JULY!...

"TIME TO TEST OUT THE TIME DRIVE AGAIN," SALIVATES HSR AS HE GETS ANOTHER CHANCE TO PRESS THE BUTTONS ON HIS NEW TOY ONCE MORE!...

AND HERE HE GOES!

HSR NOW REMEMBERS A FRIEND THAT GOT CAUGHT UP IN A  CONTINUOUS SPACIAL LOOP, TRYING TO GET CLOSER TO LAND HIS SHIP...

BUT NEVER REACHED THERE...SO HE HAD TO LAND SOMEWHERE ELSE!...

NOW HE REACHES HIS NEXT DESTINATION...THE WINGE FURY NEBULA...

"DANG!...THE FOLKS BACK HOME HAVE TO SEE THIS! WE CAN'T EVEN SEE THIS OUT-OF-RANGE STELLAR SYSTEM, EVEN WITH OUR MOST POWERFUL SCOPES!"

"THE THEORETICAL PHYSICIST ANTON VON WINGE BET HIS CAREER THAT THIS FORCE WOULD BE HERE...AND, WOW, HERE IT IS!," SAYS A SURPRISED HSR...

MAYBE HE'LL GET A NOBEL PRIZE!

GEE WILIKERS! THE FIRST THING HSR SEES IS THE ACTIVELY DECAYING REMNANTS OF A ONCE-HEALTHY EXOPLANET, WHERE THERE IS AN OUT-OF-CONTROL AND SWARMING INFECTION OF MINI BLACK HOLE MARBLES THAT ARE "GOING VIRAL" AND "EATING AWAY" ,

AT WHOLE HEAVENLY BODIES! AND KILLING OFF MILLIONS OF PROTOEARTHS!

BUT, THANKFULLY, IT WILL TAKE TRILLIONS OF YEARS FOR THESE BAD BOYS TO REACH THE MILKY WAY!...

DANG! WHAT'S THIS! A RESTLESS NEUTRON MEGABODY?...IT MUST BE AT LEAST 10 MILLION SOLAR MASSES!

WHICH, ACCORDING TO PREDICTIONS WILL COLLAPSE AT A GREAT PRESSURE AND BECOME EVEN WORSE THAN A BLACK HOLE...THE YET-TO-BE-SEEN HEAVEN POINT!

"OH, NO,"THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME MACRO-TRANSITIONAL FORCES TAKING PLACE RIGHT NOW!...

"THIS NEUTRON MEGAOBJECT IS PROBABLY ABOUT TO COLLAPSE PAST A BLACK HOLE!...RIGHT NOW!"...

"THANK GOODNESS I'M RECORDING ALL OF THIS!" EXPLAINS HSR...

"YIKES!..IT'S GROWING EVEN MORE UNPREDICTABLE AND ENERGETIC!...

WHAT'S THIS?...COMING IN AT A MILLION MILES A SECOND FROM THE SIDE...AND ABOUT TO SLAM INTO THE UNSTABLE NEUTRON HYPERGIANT IS A...

 

A FERMI-CYRIL VAPORIZATION VORTEX....

HSR NOW FEELS THE SHIP BEING SUCKED INTO THE EMERGING MULTI-GALACTIC SUPER CATACLYSM...

AND LOOKING INTO THE REARVIEW MIRROR SYSTEM...

HSR EXCLAIMS, "I'M BEING SUCKED IN FASTER THAN THE STARS!...

NOW I MUST USE THE TIME DRIVE IMMEDIATELY!...

BUT, AFTER PUSHING THAT DRIVE BUTTON ONCE...TWICE... CRAP!!...IT'S NOT WORKING!...

I'LL HAVE TO USE THIS NEW UNTESTED BACK UP DRIVE...THE "GHOST DRIVE" NOW...

I JUST HOPE IT WORKS!

HSR PULLS THE LEVER TO ENGAGE THE GHOST DRIVE...

AND HE PLEADS, "GET ME OUT OF HERE!

"BUT, OMG!... WHERE WILL  I END UP?"...well, gosh...I'm just glued to my seat enjoying the suspense and all...and I bet that you would like to do a little space travel yourself, if certain guarantees are made...but there aren't any safety guarantees out there buddy...so let's keep this a vicarious experience, oh yes, and your "I like the way that Mother Nature allows our minds to be like trees, so we can grow and expand and reach for the stars as much as we can!" smile, is just arcing and white and giving the bright Milky Way some stiff luminous competition!

                                                                                            See the Love Toothbrush®                                                        

"What's very important to you right now, is only very important to you...right now!"

Our beautiful First Family, and the President himself, 

the likes of which we have never seen before in the vaulted and valued White House, 

all have world-class dentitions and smiles that make any smile-centered, patriotic American dentally-grateful. 

They are our leading governmental family, and the President has had to make some tough and controversial policy decisions, in his search to find debated, common political ground, 

but all of the First Family members have performed their roles with respect and admirable class and grace!

President Obama is a very affable person and is quick to see the humor 

in things!

He undoubtedly is the most photographed President to date, and many of his documented smiles show him experiencing the "most intense smile possible," the Winge Smile, which is basically a Duchenne Smile with an important addition...

...the closed eyes.

This short-lived, singular, pinnacle of the highest elatedness possible, also demonstrates a total muscular and emotional commitment and vulnerability like no other facial expression.

President Obama has been documented elating with the Winge Smile more that any other American President in history.

And here are some examples of our very handsome Leader engaging in the biggest and happiest smile known to Science:

The happiest place on Earth is not Disneyland, it's on the faces of each and every one of us...when we giggle and laugh in the most unrestrained way possible!...

Aah, yes...put this one under "a warm and fuzzy gift from a Republican?"

 

This following one might go in the "Politics is so sweet...especially if you're on top!" category!

Here, the President might be responding to the Congress just now passing some of his much-needed legislation, and that the Camp David Golf Course is finally back open after upgrades!

This one's a "throw caution to the wind" laugh!

Here, the President's smile includes more Procerus, Nasalis, and Corrigator Supercilli muscle action to squint the nasal skin areas between the eyes and eyebrows. And, I'll bet that his bite strength almost approximates that of a moderate-sized T-Rex!

"Joe Biden...that was a great joke!"

This "ultimate belly laugh," maybe upon learning that he has just won a second term!

I'll tell ya, when ya got it, flaunt it, you handsome guy!

The smile's minimum to maximum action explained through video:

See how President Barack Obama has single-handedly influenced the American Aesthetic Dentistry Industry in a major way.

May you have many...speaking out space travel, if a traveler can't just walk outside of their structure and live like on Earth, then the slightest mistake can be fatal!...you might be surprised what you might find looking at least 15 degrees above the horizon!...if it weren't for art, Mankind may be just a pack of heathens!...smiles!