Good to see you!
You made my day by coming!
You and your "OMG!...I kissed the morning "Hello," and...it kissed me back!" smile are sneaking in the back door of the old theater
to see what HSR HAS JUST BEEN TASKED WITH...
EXCUSE US!...
WE HAVE AN INTERRUPTION FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE...
AND THAT MESSAGE IS:
"OH, EXCUSE ME...IS THAT YOU, HOLLYWOOD?," SAYS GLENNA
"I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU COULD MAKE IT TO MY BEACH PARTY!"
AND HSR SAYS BACK, "YEAH THANKS, GLENNA!...YOU KNOW I AIN'T GONNA MISS THIS!"...
ALL THE PEOPLE ARE
ACTING FREE AS EVER!...AND...
THE MUSIC IS BANGIN'!" RECOGNIZES HSR.
"YOU KNOW I CAN'T PRESENT IT ANY OTHER WAY!" SAYS GLENNA...
"HOLLYWOOD, CHECK OUT OUR PATIO ACTION, TOO!...
"AND, OF COURSE WE HAVE SURFING!...
"AND ONE GIRL IS GOING RAFTING
"IN THE SHALLOWS!
"OH, HOLLYWOOD, MY FRIEND LILI, WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU IN THE HOT TUB!," FINISHES GLENNA, "SHE HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU!"
SO HSR MAKES IT ON OVER...
BUT, ON THE WAY,
HE RUNS INTO HIS EX, LABETTY,
AND SHE SAYS, "BIG DADDY REPORT...I KNEW YOU'D MAKE IT!, HEY...
"HOLLYWOOD, I JUST NEED FIFTEEN MINUTES OF YOUR TIME...YOU KNOW...LIKE LAST TIME!
SO, EXACTLY FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...HSR FINISHES AND MAKES IT ON HIS WAY
AND PASSES BY
MORE PARTIERS
AND FINALLY GETS TO THE HOT TUB
"HEY, LILI, " SMILES HSR, AS HE LAYS BACK IN THE WARM WATER AND THE HOT FRIENDSHIP!...
"GOT SOMETHING FOR ME, BABE?" INQUIRES HSR...
AND LILI SAYS, "IT'S A SECRET...LET'S PLAY AROUND IN THE HOT TUB A LITTLE...
THEN WALK ALONG THE BEACH!
SO THEY PLAY AROUND A LITTLE, AND THEN THEY
WALK ALONG THE BEACH...
"HOLLYWOOD," LILI SPEAKS, "I HAVE A PROPOSITION!"...
"THAT ALL LOVERS ARE CREATED EQUAL?" JOKES HSR...
"OH, YOU'RE SO FUNNY," AS LILI GRABS HSR AND HUGS AND SMELLS HIS BODY AGAIN...
"NO, REALLY, HSR," SAYS LILI, AS SHE STARTS TO GET SERIOUS...
"I'M HEARING TALK MORE AND MORE
ABOUT
THE TREASURES TO BE FOUND IN THE...THE..."
"DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT ON YOUR MOUTH, LILI!" WINKS HSR...
LILI LONGINGLY SMILES THEN FINISHES, "THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!"
"OH, YOU MEAN THE UNPREDICTABLE SEAS BETWEEN PUERTO RICO, MIAMI, AND...
BERMUDA, RIGHT?" SURMISES HSR....
AND LILI SAYS, "YOU'RE A MAN THAT LIKES TO GO DEEP...AND CHECK OUT THE BOTTOM OF THINGS...
SO CHECK AND SEE IF THERE'S SOME TREASURE THERE TO BE HAD...
...HERE ARE SOME COORDINATES
THAT I FEEL THAT MAY HOLD A LOT OF GOLDEN BOUNTY!"
HSR SMILES AND OPENS THE PAPER AND READS, "23 DEGREES LATITUDE NORTH, 69 DEGREES LONGITUDE WEST...
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE...23 AND 69 ARE RELATED BY..."
"...THE POWERFUL NUMBER OF THREE!," SAYS LILI, "AND THAT
IS THE MESSAGE I WANT TO GIVE YOU...
...PLEASE GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT!"
THEN LILI WALKS BACK TO THE PARTY...
AND HSR STARES OUT TO THE SEA
THEN UNBELIEVABLY, A WOMAN
COMES OUT OF THE WATER, AND
WALKS TO HSR
"YOUNG MAN!...I CAN TELL THAT YOU ARE AN EXPLORER OF THE WIDE AND DEEP WATERS...
BUT IF YOU GO TO THE "TRIANGLE OF THE BERMUDAS"...
WHICH IS A VERY SPIRITUAL, UNFORGIVING, AND
SECRET PLACE...
GO WITH YOUR EYES TOTALLY OPEN...
AND READ THE PREVAILING SIGNS
AND SEEK HELP FROM THE
UNKNOWN...
OTHERWISE...
YOU MAY ENTER AND FIND MANY OTHERS WHO HAVE ENTERED THE
"ETERNAL BERMUDA SWIRL!"
"I AM INVESTED IN YOU, HSR,
SO AS YOU JOURNEY...
I'M
WATCHING OUT FOR YOU!"
THEN THE SEA WOMAN TURNS AND
STRIDES BACK INTO THE WATERS...
NOW, HSR, WITH A LOT TO DIGEST,
ASKS HIMSELF, "HOW'D THAT WOMAN KNOW I WAS TALKING ABOUT BERMUDA?" AS HE SHAKES HIS HEAD...
WELL, ANYWAYS...
HE WALKS BACK TO THE PARTY..
AND HE'S LOOKING OUT TO THE DREAMY LIQUID
AND THINKS, "MAYBE I SHOULD CLEAR MY SCHEDULE OUT AND TRY THE TRIANGLE!...
I'M A TRAVELIN' MAN AND THIS FITS RIGHT INTO MY MODUS OPERANDI...
I KNOW...I'LL CHARTER A BOAT AND..."
SUDDENLY, A WOMAN SPEAKS TO HIM,
"I JUST NOW SAW ALL OF THAT HAPPENING...THE WOMAN COMING OUT OF THE SEA...
...THEN GOING BACK IN WITHOUT DROWNING...
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?...
OR IS THAT A SECRET?...
I'LL JUST SAY ONE THING...WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"...
"DR. REPORT," HSR TELLS THE LADY...
"DR. REPORT, I REVEAL TO YOU NOW THAT...
...ALL THE STUFF THAT YOU MIGHT BE TRYING TO DO...
WHICH IS ALL WELL AND FINE...BUT, REMEMBER...YOU MUST...
LIVE FOR TODAY ONLY!
AND IF THERE'S A TOMORROW COMING TO YOU , YOU'RE BLESSED!"
AND SHE CONTINUES, "MAY I HAVE THIS NEXT DANCE WITH YOU, DR. REPORT?"
"SURE," SAYS HSR, "AND WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CALL YOU?"
AND SHE ANSWERS, "I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CALL ME QUICKLY AT THIS NUMBER TONIGHT!" AS SHE SLIPS HSR HER NUMBER...
"BYE, BYE, SAILOR BOY!" SAYS THE LADY AS SHE VANISHES INTO THE CROWD.
SO, AFTER WHILE, HSR SAYS BYE TO GLENNA AND LABETTY
THEN WALKS FURTHER DOWN THE BEACH TO A WHARF TO CHARTER A BOAT...
"YOUNG MAN, YOU LOOK LOST," SAYS THIS WOMAN
AND I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU!"
"HI THERE. I'M LOOKING TO CHARTER A SCUBA BOAT TO GO TREASURE HUNTING IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE." BRAVELY REVEALS HSR...
""KNOW ANY AROUND?"
"WOW! YOU SURE JUST HAPPEN TO COME IN MY RIGHT PLACE!...
MY DADDY'S OVER THERE...HE DOES THAT STUFF...
AND SHE CALLS OUT, "HEY, DADDY...THIS MAN WANTS TO SEE YOU!"...
AND HER DAD TURNS AROUND
AND ASKS, "WHADDAYANEEDTHERE, SONNY?"
"HI, SIR. I'M DR. REPORT, AND I WANT TO GO SCUBA DIVING IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE...
...AND FIND SOME TREASURE!" SAYS HSR TO THE SEAMAN...
"HERE'S SOME UPFRONT CASH TO GET US GOING FOR, SAY,...
"A WEEK, MAYBE?" SAYS HSR, AS HE HANDS OVER A WAD OF CASH...
"SURE YOUNG MAN!...BUT...
THERE'S ONE PROBLEM," SAYS THE GUY... AS HE QUICKLY TAKES HSR'S MONEY AND MAKES IT DISAPPEAR...
"THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU NEED TO HELP ME PUSH MY CRAFT...
...WHICH I JUST HAD FIXED FOR LEAKS...
OUT INTO THE WATER!"
IT'S THAT ONE OVER THERE!"
AND HSR SAYS TO HIMSELF..."WHOA!"
"DON'T WORRY SONNY...THE ENGINE ON IT WORKS...AT LEAST MOST OF THE TIME!...
...SO IT WILL BE YOU, ME AND MY EXPERT SCUBA-DIVING DAUGHTER
GOING...
...RIGHT NOW...IF YOU LIKE!"
SO THEY PUSH THE BOAT INTO THE WATER, START IT UP AND
GET OUT ONTO THE
OPEN SEA, BUT,
WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT...SOON, IT STARTS TO
RAIN,
THEN... IT GETS...
SORTA REALLY DANGEROUS...AND THE CAPTAIN AND HIS DAUGHTER
SAY...
"DON'T WORRY DR. REPORT, THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS!"
"Which is worth more to you now...money or time?"
More reports of "Big Tooth" sightings just keep rolling in!
Big Tooth has many physical similarities to "Big Foot."
However, the most significant genetically-based, phenotypic difference that's observable is,
instead of two regular front teeth...
there's
...one huge upper tooth
...and this composite sketch
...was made by a person who was just inches away, but was not detected!
And he swears that there was no plaque or food between the teeth at that time--it is just one colossal tooth!
However...this large furry creature, with its trademark dentition,
just may have left some physical and DNA evidence behind--that's still being searched for--
that forensic specialists and geneticists can use to delve deeper into the mysteries of this elusive species.
Big Tooth has been classified by Zoologists at Point Loma University as homo megadonticus, but a competing department at Harvard University has coined the name homo macrodonticus,
and now,
the two different scientific entities are almost coming to academic blows over Big Tooth!
"Virtually all of the people who claim to have seen Big Tooth say that it reminds them of a "tall, muscular and
furry man, and that it did not attack any people that saw it," says an Angeles National Park Ranger, on the condition that he remains anonymous.
The authorities are aware that a growing segment of the local population is starting to actually like Big Tooth and what "he" symbolizes.
"We all like bigger than life things...like
"The Rock and such!"...
One San Bernardino Park officer confirms, "a gofundme page has been set up. I think people feel that Big Tooth represents the free spirit in all of us...
..."and that he is unencumbered by all of the trappings
and complications
and headaches of the civilized
world that we all face!
And he always lives in a peaceful, natural, and-almost-fairy-tale-like
kind of place!"
One hiker
swears that Big Tooth knows "some English" and may actually like humans, because
when she was lost and shouted, "I have to get out of here to my car!"
she says that, "it smiled at me, then grunted,
"Over there!""
And one young lad who has taken a liking to Big Tooth, saw this picture
and this one
and now,
he's telling his parents that he's having
nightmares about it!
It has been surmised that Big Tooth has been around for at least twenty years, but
with a very recent infrared camera sighting
and a cell phone photo taken by a person who sat very still
people now want to see him up close and personal!
And a man wants to know if his "Big Sister"
can become "Big Tooth's" friend!
But!
And it's a big but!
...a word of caution...
To see if the animal is indeed a Big Tooth, or a Big Foot, one will need to sneak up on it
and lift up its lip like
this!
Good Luck!
Or maybe just
...tickle him!
Or just try to catch Big Tooth up close in a happy mood with a camera!...
...like here in this photo...
...but it's not that clear!
Now, there is one person, a dentist, no less, who's been trying to track Big Tooth for years and,
he says that Big Tooth comes out of the dense forest like this
very infrequently!
"But I have documented him
roaming
here and there catching some sun rays!
"I've also seen him hunt and catch wild game!
And he even has competitor Big Foots or Big Tooths...but I couldn't get close enough to see which
...is which!
I did catch, however, on tape, a skirmish between Big Tooth and two others, which just may have been an
ambush or a territorial dispute!
Well, anyway,
I think Big Tooth got the best of them in the scuffle, because
one high-tailed it out of there one way
and the second one ran the
other way...into the swamp!
...most likely after being
"teeth crunched" by Big Tooth!
Now, I'm also studying Big Tooth's Social interactions, and,
I think he has some new female admirers
And I have seen them argue and fight with his ongoing female friend, and
those confrontations haven't been pretty!
I did, once, see Big Tooth and his female friend
"in the prolonged act!"
Now, sir, we get a lot of visitors out here looking for Big Tooth.
And one woman, who calls herself, "Big Tooth's First Groupie!"
buys him little toys and food and stuff!
But I want to see if Big Tooth can control
and use other animals in the wild!
Personally, sir, I like Big Tooth! Not only is he good for tourism here,
it's also good for my office patients!
I have a big picture of him in my
waiting room, that people always photo!
But if I ever bump into Big Tooth, you know, close and face to face...
I'll just slowly gesture to
shake his hand!
I have much respect for him, you know,
trying to survive out here in the wild!
My most important message to Big Tooth is,
no matter what,
you, my friend,
will always
have the
winning hand!
May you have many...HSR--you lost my phone number?--well, I'll
give it to you again!...hold me tight, Mr. Report, while
I tell you about a dream I had....hello! my HSR Smoothie Shake--watch me
move
in the Moonlight--
now shall we
slow dance cheek to cheek?...smiles!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your smile's response?