Friday, June 2, 2017

Hey!..."What'z Dat Yu Pudding' En Yo Meowf?!"...Part 1...

Hey!...I haven't seen you

for a whole week!








But it's cool...and you and your "I'm checking out my new sextant to find


where Moby Dick was last seen!" smile, actually want to get a glimpse of the mysterious and storied  waters as you read the nautical escapades of HSR, last renditioned on "The First African American To Invent And Patent A Toothbrush—Ralph Cyril Winge, D.D.S.!,"and there, WE FIND HSR, SAFE AND FEELING AT HOME ON HIS PERSONAL PIRATE SHIP,

AND HE'S JUST SMOOTH SAILING ON THE HIGH SEAS...


WITH HIS DISPARATE PIRATE CREW OF TOUGH-LOOKING, TREASURE-SEEKING MISFITS, MUGGERS, MALCONTENTS, AND MARAUDERS


AND A LOT OF OTHER CONNIVING SOCIOPATHS...

...WHO ALL, HOWEVER, SEEM CLINICALLY CALMER WHEN OUT ON THE OPEN WATERS


AND HSR IS NOW SAILING AWAY FROM AN UNFRIENDLY


ISLAND, WHERE HE WAS BRIEFLY LOCKED UP...

BUT THE RESOURCEFUL HSR ESCAPES AGAIN 

WITH HIS SLIPPERY AND RESOURCEFUL SELF!...

AND AT THE SAME TIME,

HE ALSO FREES KING CYRIL OF MYBERIA


AND HIS DAUGHTER


 AND A BODY GUARD...

...WHO WHERE ALL HELD FOR A KING'S RANSOM

WHICH MEANS AT LEAST


TEN MILLION DOLLARS, OR MOUNDS AND MOUNDS, OF THE GOOD GOLDEN STUFF!...

"KING CYRIL," SAYS HSR...


"WE ARE GOING TO TAKE YOU TO YOUR HOME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...

"BUT WE HAVE TO STOP AT ONE PLACE TO REFRESH AND GET SUPPLIES TO MAKE THE REST OF YOUR TRIP."

AND KING CYRIL ASKS, "MY KINGDOM IS ABOUT 1,000 MILES WEST OF JAKARTAN...WHERE DO WE GO TO GET THE SUPPLIES?"

"WE NEED TO GET TO SERANGETI ISLAND


AND GO NORTH...AROUND MALAY-KASIA...

BUT, WE NEED TO AVOID OTHER THIRSTY PIRATES


ALONG THE WAY...

AND DEADLY


SEA CREATURES, TOO!"...

"FIRST MATE," CALLS OUT HSR, TO HIS FIRST MATE...


"YES, SIR CAP'UM HSR!...I'LL DRINK TO THAT!"

"FIRST MATE," SAYS HSR AGAIN, "BESIDE HAVING A GOOD PLACE TO HIDE YER BREW...

...ANY RECOMMENDATIONS ON HOW TO SAFELY AND QUICKLY GET OUR KING HERE BACK TO MYBERIA?"

"WELL, SIR,  (BURP!)...ME HEARS THAT MYBERIA HAS A LOT OF GOLD THERE,

"AND LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE PLOTTING TO COME IN AND CLAIM IT!

"YOU'LL NEED TO GET TO THE ISLAND QUICKLY AND QUIETLY, WITHOUT NOTICE, SIR,

"AND SUMMON THE TROOPS TO KNOW THAT THE KING IS STILL ALIVE, AND REINVIGORATE THEM TO FIGHT!"

"THANKS, FIRST MATE!...GOOD THINKING'!" SAYS CAPTAIN HSR...

NOW, THE SHIP'S SPIRIT ADVISER


CHIMES IN, "CAPTAIN...YOU'RE OVERLOOKING ONE THING... THE "SPIRITS OF THE MARINERS" NEED TO BE ON OUR SIDE


...OR AT LEAST NOT THAT HUNGRY FOR US...BECAUSE THEY WILL ATTACK...

...BUT JUST MAKE SURE


THAT WE WON'T BE THEY'RE MOST FAVORITE AND TASTY VICTIMS!"

"I WILL PRAY AND GIVE RESPECT TO THE SEA GODS FOR ENDURANCE THROUGH THIS TRIP!"

"WELL, PLENTY THANKS FOR THAT!...AND

PLEASE GET BACK TO ME SOON

AS TO HOW WE CAN FURTHER ENLIST, OR RATHER, AVOID THEM..." SAYS THE CAPTAIN...

...

SO, AFTER THINGS CALM DOWN A BIT,  AND THE SEAS EVEN SEEM TO REST


AND TAKE A NAP,

ONE OF THE CREW MEMBERS HAPPILY ASKS CAPTAIN HSR, "SIR HSR,


DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THIS TIME I WRESTLED A MONSTER GATOR...


IN JAKARTAN, NO LESS?

AND IT WANTED ME TO KEEP IT AS MY PET!"...

THEN ANOTHER SAILOR SAYS TO THE CAPTAIN, "HEY, SIR CAPTAIN!...I DID BETTER THAN THAT!...

"I WAS THE LAST PIRATE STANDING AT AN ISLAND DRINKING CONTEST!"


"WHICH ISLAND WAS THAT?," ASKS THE CAPTAIN...

"THE ISLAND OF...OF...ENDO NEE SLEEA...I THINK!" RETURNS THE SAILOR...

AND THEN A THIRD MATE SAYS, "HEY CAP'M!...I WAS ONCE MAROONED ON AN ISLAND...

THAT WAS FULL OF...

(SOME SILENCE)

AND ONE CREW MEMBER ASKS, "...OF WHAT?"

AND HE SAYS, "HUNDREDS OF


BEAUTIFUL MERMAIDS!"

AND EVERYBODY GETS A GOOD LAUGH AT ALL OF THIS LIE-TELLIN'...

THEN CAPTAIN HSR TURNS A LITTLE

AND SNIFFS THE AIR...

AND HE SAYS, "AHOY, MATES!

"THERE'S A STORM A-BREWIN'...

"WE BETTER BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!"...

AND THE RAIN STARTS SMALL AT FIRST...


THEN THINGS REALLY GET SEA-SICK ROUGH!


AND THE SHIP IS TOSSED AND TURNED AS IF IT IS AS LIGHT AS A


MARSHMALLOW!

"CAPM HSR!," SHOUTS ONE HAND...I SEE WHAT'S CAUSING THIS STORM!


IT'S A PREHISTORIC-LOOKING GIGANTIC EEL!... HE'S GONNA BITE!...BUT!...


A BIG WAVE IS...COMING BETWEEN US...RIGHT NOW!...AND IS WASHING THE EEL...


FAR AWAY!...

THANK YOU POISIDEN!...



...FOR PROTECTING US!"...

"NOW CAPTAIN HSR TELLS THE CREW, "WE HAVE SUSTAINED SOME DAMAGE, AND WE'RE LIMPING ALONG...




AND WE'RE WAY OFF COURSE!"

"LOOK, CAPTAIN HSR," SAYS ONE MATE


"THERE'S A PLACE OVER THERE!


SO THEY MAKE IT ON OVER THERE AND 


DISEMBARK FROM THE BOAT...

WONDERING IF THERE ARE ANY INHABITANTS...

...OR...ANY...


...DANGERS!


                                                                         Love Toothbrush®                                                    



































"Life can be an adventure where the pages keep turning!"  














People put all kinds of stuff in their "Meowfs"!...

But, hey...I don't need to tell you!

And since we are only talking here about food, drink and the like

...you know..."PG" stuff"...

...let's seriously discuss it!

Some people stay on board with what they eat...and even moderate, 

while others "dive" overboard  and do too much!


Take this person, for instance...


Would she still binge like this if there were

No TV Movie around?



"Mayra...can you pass the


peas, please?"

"Sure, Brenda...can you pass


the peanut butter?...Thanks!"





"Aww, yeah!...

This bite of cotton candy's the bomb!


"This reminds me of the summer of '99...


"when I first met


"this guy hanging out named "Holly--wood!"






"Go ahead, pick one for us to


...share all the way down!"




"Sir...do you see anything that you 


want to bite?"





"I sure hope that my ex-girlfriend comes back with


my car!...




"Hey...


what chu looking' at?"





"It's so hot outside...

you people better finish that fast...

or you just might have to


lick your hands and arms and stuff!"






"Young Lady!

When was the last time

you said


you ate?





No! 

I don't want to

see you eat


the whole thing in one swallow!




"Are you doing that...

...just to make me...


...stare at your lipstick?...





You!

Didn't your Momma

tell you not to


...lick the plate clean?




OMG!

So, you ate the whole thing!...


Isn't it better to use a napkin!





Hold on!

This is your fifth one!

If I drive you home


You're saying that you promise to "thank me" how?

Well...let's let you sleep it off first!"





Okay!...here we go!...


...Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!....

This cake's made of Sweetness...

and your lips


 are, too!






You're making me happy!...


...what with all of your bright, vibrant, and power-packed-punch colors!




"Oops! I'm sorry...this "anachronism" just

...slipped in!





"Yes!...You can 


call me anytime!"







Oh, come on now...you're an adult!


...if I have to make up your mind for you...you also may get lost while walking in the park!









May you have many...thanks HSR 

for the 2 million dollars in Second Life money you gave me--I just bought a big mansion and I'm throwing a huge party--and you and I and 24 other people


are the guests of honor!...good morning, Dr. HSR--I'm your new secretary--


would you like some hot chocolate?...HSR, my handsome hunk!--please


come deliciously closer to me, for I

want to


take a precious picture of you for my heart pendant!...smiles!

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