You are now under my spell!
Just like that!...
...But fear not!
Because I fear not!
And I want you to leave here
with more than what you came with,
especially magnifying your Insight, Wisdom, and...Understanding
of many Phenomena!
So, while you're reading this blog,
I'll think about what you need...
...
"Beware, you...
As you lay your eyes on me...
I'm checking you out, too!...and taking notes!
...for the next time that we meet!"
...
"Hello!...any Readers out there looking to "Jump the Broom?"
However, I confess...that...
I may not be what you want, but
I am definitely what your Second Life needs!"
"We have agreed that absolutely nothing...or no one...will ever squeeze or wedge in between us!...
except for...of course...our very own Hollywood!"
"I just love this time of year!
The leaves turn all shades of yellow, gold, and brown
But then, it gets cold...
and even snowy
...and that's when...
HSR and I are just getting started!"
"Fl-itch!...Watch out!
Oh, I'm sorry...I'm just dodging a
swerving
"Flying Witch!"
...
"Well reader!
As Narrator-In-Chief of Today's Blog
I will try to make you scared of the Halloweens!...
but don't frighten me...please...
because I'm even scared of my own shadow!
...
So, first order of business...
...anybody want to give a shout out or message to HSR?
...a show of hands!"
"Oh, my!"
"Okay...
First up...go ahead!...
"Thank you Miss Narrator!...
I just want to invite Dr. Hollywood over
for some milk and cookies
and a scary movie, because
I just love it when he always quickly
squeezes me tight when the
suspense becomes too thick!"
...
"HSR...
Please appear before me...I
command you!...
Oh, Hollywood...there you are!
It's so good to see you!
And you feel so big and strong today...
...like you always do!"
...
"Whew!... Is Hollywood still here?
Good!...
I came a'runnin' as soon as I
heard he is in town!
Well, I need to say that
everyone in the town where HSR is from
wishes him well, and loves to read about his escapades
and even the dangers that he has to overcome
and many of the lady folk in town gather on Fridays to see what's next for Hollywood
Well, I was a classmate of his, and I was a cheerleader
and I did football games and all of that...
but the reason I love HSR the most
is that...
he always cheers for me!"
...
"Well, Ladies...
as Assistant to the Narrator-In-Chief...
(I'm really
her cousin!)...
We're switching gears"...
"Excuse me!...before you start...
HSR!...
I have some
Pumpkins for you
...to squeeze!"
Okay, people, today's Episode is only available on the very big screen
like at this concert
but you'll also need to put up with some sideshows like this
and this,
but if you ever get a chance to see HSR in person...
please
help
him and his girlfriend!
...please!
And, I know that you and your
"today is a cool, partly-cloudy
day...and...
I'm loving every "mf"
second! "
smile
just want to have a
wonderful day!...
...BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO BE WONDERFUL
FOR HSR
BECAUSE, HE NEEDS SOME MONEY TO HELP PAY
FOR HIS DENTAL SCHOOL'S
EXORBITANT
TUITION!...
SO THIS TIME, HE TAKES A JOB...WHICH PAYS WELL
BUT...IT'S
...JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!
...HALLOWEEN NIGHT!
AT THE LOCAL
GRAVEYARD!...OF ALL PLACES!...
AND DURING THE ...GRAVEYARD SHIFT!...
OH NO!
AND THE NIGHT BEFORE, OF COURSE,
HE HAS DREAMS...OF HIS GIRLFRIEND
AND HIM HAVING SOME
INNOCENT FUN,
AND SOME TRICK AND TREATING
SILLINESS...
AND HE DREAMS ABOUT A PARTY THAT HE'S
GOING TO BE MISSING!
SHUCKS!
SO, IT'S TIME TO WALK ON OVER TO THE PLACE
AND HE GETS A KICK OUT OF
SOME OF THE COSTUMES THAT PEOPLE AND
PETS ARE WEARING!
YES, IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AND A
LOT OF FOLKS ARE JUST SO HAPPY
AND THERE'S A LOT OF SUGARY ACTIVITY
GOING ON
ON THE STREETS
AND DOORWAYS!...
WITH PUMPKINS
ALL OVER!
AND THESE GUYS WERE PLAYING LIKE THEY ARE BLIND...
SO THAT THEY CAN HAVE AN EXCUSE TO--
--HEY, DON'T DO DAT!
AND THIS LADY STOPS HSR AND SAYS, "HI THERE SIR,...
I NEED SOME ONE TO MAKE ME NOT SO SCARED TONIGHT...
...YOU GAME?"
"I'D LOVE TO, BUT, I'M WORKING TONIGHT..SORRY," SAYS HSR
AS HE WALKS ON...
PAST ANOTHER YARD'S ORNAMENT
AND NOW, HE'S GETTING TO THE OLD
PART OF TOWN
AND HE GOES PAST AN ANCIENT CARNIVAL
AREA
THAT HAS SEEN SOME BETTER TIMES!...
NOW, HE'S GETTING CLOSER
JUST PAST THIS AREA NOW,
OKAY...THROUGH THIS GATE
AND ON DOWN TO THE OFFICE
TO MEET THE MANAGER!
"MY...IT'S TOO SPOOKY," HE THINKS!...
SO,
SHAKING IN HIS BOOTS A LITTLE...
HSR GETS TO THE MAIN OFFICE BUILDING
AND CAREFULLY CREEPS DOWN THE MAIN HALLWAY
AND HE TURNS THIS WAY AND SEES
AND HE TURNS ANOTHER WAY AND SEES
AND HSR SAYS, WITH A VERY SHAKY AND WIMPY KID VOICE,
"HI THERE!"
SUDDENLY, BEHIND HIM,
A VERY DEEP AND RESONATING BELLOW OF A VOICE EMITS,
"GOOD DARK, SIR...
YOU MUST BE THE YOUNG DR. REPORT!
THANK YOU FOR AGREEING TO GUARD THE PLACE TONIGHT
IT SEEMS LIKE I HAVE TO PAY
AN ARM AND A LEG FOR HELP THESE DAYS...
OH,
THERE'S AN ARM AND A LEG ON THAT TABLE OVER THERE!
BUT THERE'S CASH TOO
IF YOU PREFER!
I'M GOING TO A GHOULISH PARTY TONIGHT!
...AS A MEDICAL SPIRIT DOCTOR, YOU LIKE!...DON'T ANSWER!
JUST MAKE SURE ERRANT KIDS
DON'T KNOCK DOWN THE HEADSTONES
OR SPRAY PAINT!
OH,
HERE'S A FLASHLIGHT...THAT WORKS...
...SOMETIMES!"...
AND THE MANAGER CONTINUES,
"THE SPOOKY PHENOMENA HERE...
YOU KNOW...
...THE APPARITIONS AND THINGS...
WELL...
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM, BECAUSE...
OF COURSE, THIS IS THEIR PLACE!
HA HA HAAAAAAA,"
AS HE SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND US
AS WE EXIT!
THEN, I LOOK AND SEE SOME DISTURBED BATS
FLUTTER WITH A SCARY FORCE,
THEN I TURN TO SAY BYE TO THE GUY,
OR WHAT EVER HE IS...
BUT HE VANISHED INTO THE DARK!...WOW!
"I WONDER IF THE SUN EVER SHINES ON THIS PLACE!" WONDERS HSR...
...
SO HE PACES CAREFULLY
AROUND ONE AREA OF THE PLACE, AND...
"PLEASE SPARE ME," HE BEGS TO HIMSELF!
"UH OH!...WHAT'S THAT?"
AND HSR SEES SOMETHING EVER SO SLIGHTLY!...
THEN HE TURNS TO LOOK AT WHERE A SOUND CAME FROM...
BUT, NEXT, HE LOOKS BACK...AND YIKES!
NOW, HSR ALMOST DOES NUMBER ONE ON HIMSELF!...
BUT THEN SHE JUST DISAPPEARS!
OMG!
"PRETTY BOY!" SAYS THIS LADY OFF TO ANOTHER SIDE...
"COME INTO MY CRYPT!
"MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME," SWEATS HSR, "I'VE GOT TO MAKE MY ROUNDS NOW!"
AND SHE SAYS, "I'LL WAIT A HUNDRED AND FIFTY
YEARS FOR YOU, PRETTY BOY!'
SO, THE TENTATIVELY WALKING HSR
GETS TO THE PART OF THE FOREST...ERR...GRAVEYARD
THAT HAS LOTS OF CRACKLING LEAVES AND BRANCHES
WHICH BREAK LOUD ENOUGH TO WAKE UP...
...THE YOU KNOW WHO!...
SUDDENLY, SOME THING WALKS UP TO HSR...
OH NO!...
AND IT STARTS TO SPEAK!
"OMG!, DR. REPORT...IT'S YOU!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!"
"EXCUSE ME, BUT, DO I KNOW YOU?" ASKS A STUNNED HSR...
"YES, YOU DO!...I'M THE CADAVER
THAT YOU ARE DISSECTING AND STUDYING IN ANATOMY
LAB!"
"WELL WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE!" ASKS AN AMAZED HSR...
"I'M HERE TO PARTY JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" THE CADAVER CONFESSES...
"HEY, TELL ME HOW YOU GOT HERE!" ASKS HSR...
AND THE MUMMIFIED PERSON RESPONDS,
"EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE SOME SECRETS THAT
...THEY TAKE TO THE GRAVE WITH THEM! HA HA HA!...OH,
AND DR. REPORT, ONE MORE THING..
PLEASE...
DO NOT LOP OFF MY LOVE GLAND...YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE
THE FUN I'M HAVING HERE, BUDDY!...
DO THAT ONE THING FOR ME, PLEASE!"
AND HSR SAYS, "SURE THING, MR. MUM!"
SO, WITH A HALF-HEARTED SMILE,
HSR CONTINUES HIS ROUNDS,
AND THEN HE TURNS ON HIS FLASHLIGHT AND
HE PROMISES HISSELF THAT IF HE GETS
TOO SCARED,
HE'S GONNA
BOOK OUT OF THERE, PRONTO!
BUT, SUDDENLY THE FLASHLIGHT GOES OUT!
AND SOME CROWS FLY!
AND NOW...
THE MOON'S GOING DARK
AND NOW EVEN THE STARS IN THE SKY ARE GONE!
OH NO!...AGAIN!...
YOW!
AS HSR'S WALKING...
HE TRIPS OVER SOMETHING!...
AND IT SEEMS TO BE WAKING UP!...
SO, HSR FRANTICALLY TRIES THE FLASHLIGHT AGAIN...
AND
"OH THE _ _ _ _ , NO!
HE SEES A MOVING
MONSTER!
SO HSR TURNS QUICKLY, THE OTHER WAY AND RUNS!...
RIGHT INTO A BIG TREE...
AND KNOCKS HIMSELF OUT...
FALLING TO THE GROUND!
NOW...
THIS CREATURE RISES UP!...
AND SAYS,
"MY, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!...
I MUST PROTECT THIS SPECIES FROM THE OTHERS!...
BUT FIRST...
I'LL HAVE A LITTLE FUN, MYSELF!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN...
TO ME!...
HA HA HAAAAA!
"There are some things that I'd just rather not experience
...first hand!"
"There you go, Wolfman!...
You're all shined up and spiffy!" says the Dentist...
"Why thank you, Dr.!...
I like my new and efficient
look!" says Wolfman...
"Well, " says the Dentist, "please check at the front desk for your recall appointment...
and I'll see you then!...Oh...and
I just love it when you growl!...Bye!"
...
"Hi there, Reader...and Happy Halloween coming up!
My name is
Dr. Nocturna Sorcereriya
I'm a Trans...
excuse me...a
Transylvanian Dentist!
and I have a thriving dental practice!
However, I only have evening and night hours...and that's
simply because,
that is when my clients prefer to come in!
I see all of the Big Stars!...like The Count
with his admirable social manners
who has had blondes
brunettes,
and even
red heads, and an assorted
number of
groupies and hangers-on!
Yes...not everyone is
afraid of him!
And my patients, Frankenstein's Monster
(who needed heavy sedation!)
and his lovely
Wife, are always a pleasure to treat!
See their portrait on my wall?
Aren't they the life of any party!
Frankie's breath was something horrible! And she
didn't accept it at all!
But after a couple of my treatments...
which brought his breath...back from the dead!...
...their Love Life is now
"Gaspingly
Beautiful!"
He tells me that he loves his new breath and he
breaks no more mirrors upon sight or close breathing!
And the wifey is super-hot...and she
knows it...and works it!
Hey, Frank!...
...you two get a room!
And Frankie loves to
smile more now and he enjoys the small things (bugs!) in life!
Now, both of them go out behind the barn more and
toke
a few...
then they both laugh and giggle like silly
teenagers!
But, believe me, not all witches
have to look like
her!
And speaking of witches...Urseelia,
my patient, just came in,
to keep things together
and to help keep her 400-year romance with Mercado saucy, up, and active!...
...because there's this new upstart in town...and she's such a " _ itch Witch!"...
and she's trying to catch some of Mercado's attention!
Also, I see many quirky characters who
you gotta just love!
Leprechauns are my favorite patients, too...
They always pay
in rare gold coins, and I think that
they
may be starting...
...a Mafia!
And, boy!...I treat more zombies than I can
shake an
arm at!
Well, I have loved Dentistry
since I was a little girl...
I noticed way back that all forms of life
depend on teeth or teeth-like mechanisms to
help smash food
to a pulp
and this helps to easily
digest food...to live off of!
As far as my family goes,
I am genetically from a strong Gypsy stock
and we have traveled the world
and I have many sisters
and we all like to dance and prance and especially
sway with a tamborine!
All of us like to help prepare people
around the world,
for what the future might hold for them!
And fortunately...
none of us have ever met the
worst fate!...probably because we
for free, if needed!
But, yes!...I'm a Dentist
and a
Fortune Teller!
And I have an area out back
with a sign
that I use as a consultation office!
I also specialize in "Dentomancy!"
I help to predict for people what might be in store for them by
analyzing their teeth relationships!
And one of the most prized possessions to orally have is a wide diastema
between the front teeth!
In many world cultures, we're talking major magical powers!
...It's a strong feature...like "Parting-of-the-
Mighty-Waters" strong!
However, I don't do stuff like
disappearing acts!
But I do like "scrying" or "crystallomancy" to peer and
look into possible some futures of others
with the help of an adequately mysterious
Crystal
Sphere!
After priming
the crystal
and sincerely inquiring about a case,
sometimes a vision of
Love, yes, Love
will come into focus...
or a message from a Loved One
may come into view.
And I try to notice if any warnings
or danger signs
appear!
Yes!
Now, I do have a sister named
Clarvoyia
who is famous for her
Palmistry
Readings and Research, in interpreting the significant
Lines of the Palms!
My sister, Terotta, who has an office
down the street,
and who I never can predict,
is a master
of "Taromancy," or "Cartomancy," which is The Reading Of The Tarots!
I have another sister who is an expert in "Ceromancy,"
which picks up on how candles and their dripping waxes
behave in the presence of an interested subject!
Oh yes, and another sister, Taniyacka,
is a specialist in "Physiognomy," or the reading of
the faces!
She is World Famous and clients pay for her to travel to them!
But, only when my sister, Melagomy,
a specialist in "Chronomancy," or good luck and bad luck days,
says that it's safe and okay to travel!
Our eldest sister, Necropalia, practices "Oneiromancy," and
uses the dreams that people have
like flying or falling
or the loss of
teeth,
or if you have recurring
nightmares
a lot,
to help you with them...
and maybe even conquer bad dreams!
By the way,
she kept all of the younger sisters in line
while we were growing up by
threatening to get back at us in our dreams!
And she did a good job!...it worked!
And the youngest, our baby sister, Babalonmiya,
who still has our covered wagon,
is an expert in
"Nephelomancy," which can predict with some accuracy
the futures and fortunes of people, by looking at the tendencies and actions of the
clouds in
the presence of
the subject!
So, to wrap things up...at this Halloween time...
all this stuff about Witches
and Sooth Sayers
and ghosts
and stuff
are ultimately just fabrications, figments, concoctions, and constructs
of the Human Mind!
But...
I warn you, if you wish to stay well,
then
floss, brush, and rinse regularly,
and see me...
or your Dentist,
at least twice a year,
and
stay away from Monsters
and above all...Protect Your Neck
from those Suave and Sneaky, "Down-Low" Vamps!!
May you have many...
"Dr. Report, you mean so many good things to me
and because of that,
I now know how to make the sweetest music ever!
and it starts with gentle and paced play
followed by an feisty and energetic interpretation!...
...climaxing with...
the beat of our lips caressing!...
Hi, Hollywood...
I want to tell you
that you left something here, yesterday...
What is that?... Oh, you
want to come by again...and leave something...again?...
Girl!...I just met the best man ever!
I just can't get enough!
He's so suave...and he has
a little mystery about him!
And this HSR Doll
always treats me right,
but the thing that blows my mind...to smithereens!..
...is that...
His plastic's always hard!...
smiles!
"Hollywood, with you, I take joy
in an artful dance...
knowing that in the end...
...we can't wait to start again!"
"HSR just texted me and says that he's coming to the barbecue...
and that he's...
"bringin' da meat!"
"There you are, again!
After much thought and extended deliberation
...your future...
...from a position of strength...
must ultimately be
carefully and knowingly
pieced together by only you...
...and the intimate person that you see in
the flat crystal ball that you look into daily...the
mirror!
Now go out...
and make it a
great day!"
Ha Ha Haaaa!
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