"Happy Halloween!...Please...Come Into...Our...
"What a nice Halloween...
'Non-Trick' Treat!"
"Don't mind Me...
I'm just
here to Scare You!
"You Like
My Glasses?"
You and Your
'Halloween Movies scare
me
but
the Addams Family
Cracks Me Up!'
Smiles
are
'Splitting My Sides!'...
This
'I'm 'Heading for the Hills' right Now!'
Episode
is
brought to you by
The Good,The Bad, and...
The
Frightening!
The Addams Family
has long been many People's
favorite Halloween Family
for many reasons...
For one, they are a
funny...and a
crazy
Cast of characters...
Take Uncle Fester...
he has a Friendly Smile
and his knack for
funny Tricks...
and his Episodes where he is
totally Out of It!...
Lurch, on the other Hand,
also has a
'Unique Smile Style'
which reminds me of
the
Terminator!
Lots of People
also like they way
they 'Party Hardy!'
They come up with
Dance
Moves!...
..."I'm....
...Cool!"
"Clear...
...The floor!"
And Lurch
is asked,
"Can you
'Cut The Rug?'"
And Lurch Brags...
..."Oh, Yeah!"....
Now look at 'um Go!
'Stanky Leg!'
"Hey, Lurch!...
...Check Me out!...Hey, Lurch...
...Come On!"
And Lurch says, "HMMMM!"...
And Lurch thinks, "Are you Kidding...Watch This!...
...Get Ready, Uncle Fester!...
Watch!...
...It's going Down!"...
And now, Lurch is
'Free styling With a Twist!'
"Whoa!...
Now, over in
another Area...
"Yes, My Love!...One, Two...
Cha Cha Cha!
"Aah, My Darling Morticia!...
...all of this activity
is making me
Love You Even More!...
...Speak French...
To Me...
Again...
My Dear!"
"Yo!...Uncle fester!...
...do you know
how to
'Stanky Leg?'"...
...Oh Well...
...Happy 'Ween
to All!...
"I'm glad Halloween isn't All
Year Round!"
When In the Dark...be
Vigilant!
stay ready, you don't have to
Get Ready!
Doctor Hollywood Smiles Report aka HSR
seems to be
'walking on Thin Ice'
at this time of year,
which is not recommended!
...
SUSPECT SOMETHING'S WRONG...
ANYMORE!...SMASH!...
AND MANY OTHER MIRRORS ARE
"I DO NOT KNOW
YOU'RE
ABOUT TO
are Everywhere!”
Calculus Creatures!”
...Hurt a Bit!"
We saw what the consequences were
last time
in the Post,
"What?...A Dentist...Gets Lost...In A Forest...
...On Halloween Night?...
...You're Kidding Me!..."
And White...That...
If She Wanted To...I'd Let Her...Bite...My Neck!"
AND THIS
ALL
STARTS WHEN HE
IS ON BREAK
FROM HIS
SECOND YEAR OF
DENTAL SCHOOL
AS HE
GETS SOME LAST
'R.E.M.'
SLEEP,
WHILE DREAMING ABOUT
DONUTS!
...YES!
...EVER SINCE HE WAS A KID,
AND SEEING DONUTS BEING MADE
HE HAS BEEN
A BIG FAN
AND
A
BIG DEVOURER
OF THEM!
SO,
THIS MORNING,
HSR JUMPS OUT OF BED AND
GETS READY
AND RUNS TO THE
SHOP FOR SOME OF THEM...
...AND ON HIS WAY,
HE SEES A PRETTY LADY...WHAT?
AND
HE'S IN SUCH A HURRY
THAT HE
OF COURSE,
BURNS SOME
DOUGHNUTS!...
AND ON HIS WAY
INTO THE SHOP
HE SEES
SOME PATRONS JUST
HAVING A GOOD TIME
SATISFYING
THEIR SUGAR CRAVINGS!
SO, HE BUYS SOME...
...BUT...
THEY DISAPPEAR...
RIGHT BEFORE
HIS VERY EYES...AND
HIS VERY MOUTH!
OH, WELL,
...
NOW,
HSR HAS TO GO TO WORK!...
...BUT AN OLDER LADY
STOPS HSR
ON HIS WAY TO HIS TRUCK
AND SAYS,
"YOUNG MAN, I DON'T KNOW YOU,
BUT,
I HAVE A FEELING THAT
YOU ARE GOING TO
NEED THIS!...
AND SHE GIVES HIM A
STRANGE RING!
AND SHE CONTINUES,
"PLEASE USE IT IF YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY!...
IT WILL PROTECT YOU!"
AND THEN SHE WALKS AWAY...
SO, HSR LOOKS AT THE RING
AND THEN HE LOOKS UP...TO
THANK THE LADY...BUT...
SHE'S GONE!...
DISAPPEARED!...WHOA!
"WELL, I'LL SEE IF I NEED IT TODAY!"
HE SAYS TO HIMSELF,
AND,
"MAYBE SHE KNOWS SOMETHING
ABOUT ME THAT
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
ABOUT MYSELF!...
I'M ALSO GLAD
THAT I HAVE
THIS!"
SO,
HE CONTINUES ON TO WORK
AND THIS TIME
HE HAS A JOB
AS A
MIRROR REPLACEMENT
TECHNICIAN...
...HE HELPS PEOPLE WHO
BROKE
A MIRROR
OR,
IF THEY JUST WANT A
REPLACEMENT GLASS.
SO,
HIS FIRST JOB
IS TO REPORT TO
A CASTLE!...
...ON THE FAR SIDE OF TOWN... WHERE...
HE'S
NEVER BEEN BEFORE!
AND HSR MAKES
IT ON OVER,
AND WHEN
HE FINALLY GETS THERE...
...WHOA!
BUT THEN,
ALMOST IMMEDIATELY,
WITHIN SECONDS!...
...AS IF ON CUE!...
...IT GOES FROM HAPPY
AND
SUNNY, TO...
AN
EERY DARKNESS!
SO, HSR
GETS OUT OF
THE TRUCK WITH SOME NEW MIRRORS
AND WALKS
A GUSTY AND UNWELCOMING
PATH UP TO THE
FRONT AREA
AND HERE'S THE FRONT DOOR...GOOD...
...BUT...SHUCKS!... IT OPENS...
ITSELF, WITH A LOUD CREEKY SOUND!...
NOW, HSR,
WITH WIDE EYES,
WALKS IN
...SLOWLY AND GINGERLY...
"HELLO, SIR!...
SAYS THIS LADY...
WHO CAME OUT
'FROM NOWHERE'...
MAKING HSR
ALMOST JUMP OUT OF HIS SKIN!
"UH...HELLO THERE, MAM!...
AND YOU ARE?" HE ASKS...
"MY NAME IS NOCOLI, NOCOLI GREYCASTLE
AND THIS IS MY SISTER,
DARKNIA!....AND, SIR, WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"
"MY NAME IS JUST PLAIN OLD HSR!" HE SAYS...
"AND WHAT DOES THE "H" STAND FOR?" NOCOLI ASKS,
"IT DOESN'T STAND FOR "HAUNTED"," SAY HSR,
MAKING THE TWO SISTERS LAUGH
LIKE...
THEY'RE HALLOWEEN CRAZY!...
"I LIKE YOU, HSR...YOU HAVE A STRONG CHIN...AND A NICE...
NECK!...
MAYBE YOU CAN STAY AFTER A WHILE!"
NOCOLI SAYS AS SHE
WINKS AT HIM...
BUT THE SLIGHTLY SHAKING HSR SAYS BACK,
"THANKS FOR THE INVITE, BUT,
I HAVE OTHER CALLS...
...HOW MANY MIRRORS NEED FIXIN'?"
"I'M NOT SURE...BUT LET'S GO TO OUR FIRST ONE...
RIGHT THROUGH THIS
DOOR," NOCOLI SAYS...
AND SHE WAVES HER HAND,
AND A COUPLE OF DOORS
MYSTERIOUSLY OPEN!...
THEN, THEY GO INTO THE FIRST ROOM
AND TURN LEFT AND
GO INTO ANOTHER ROOM
AND ON THE LEFT WALL,
THEY SEE THIS
"THAT ONE LOOKS FINE TO ME!"
SAYS HSR...
THEN
DARKNIA SAYS,
"STEP A LITTLE CLOSER TO IT, PLEASE!"
SO, HSR STEPS A LITTLE CLOSER,
AND SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE
ON THE
OTHER SIDE!...
"WOW!" EXCLAIMS HSR,
"EITHER THAT'S A LOT OF DUST MOVING OR..."
"SOMETHING'S ON THE OTHER SIDE!" CONTINUES NOCOLI!
THEN,
WITHOUT WARNING...THE MIRROR
JUST BREAKS BY ITSELF!"
AND HSR JUMPS BACK,
BUT, TRYING TO STAY COOL, HE SAYS,
"I HAVE A MIRROR RIGHT HERE FOR IT!
SO HE TURNS AROUND AND BENDS DOWN
TO GET ANOTHER MIRROR,
AND, WHILE HE DOES THAT,
HE DOESN'T SEE IT,
BUT, THIS APPEARS
AND IT SAYS,
"DARKNIA...HE'S BETTER
THAN THE LAST ONE!"
THEN IT DISAPPEARS!...
AND HSR TURNS BACK AROUND
WITH THE NEW MIRROR,
BUT ASKS,
"DID YOU SAY IT'S BETTER THAN THE LAST ONE,
BECAUSE I HOPE THIS ONE IS!"
AND DARKNIA SAYS, "I DIDN'T
SAY ANYTHING!"
SO HSR LOOKS A LITTLE
DISBELIEVING
AT BOTH OF THEM...
BUT...HE DECIDES TO MOVE ON...
"DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER MIRROR TO FIX?" HE ASKS...
"BUT, OF COURSE!" SAYS
NOCOLI...
SO THEY WALK DOWN
THIS HALLWAY
AND THEY PASS BY A DOOR
AND HSR SAYS,
"WHAT'S BEHIND THAT DOOR?"...
AND
DARKNIA SAYS, "I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO KNOW!"
AND HSR SAYS, "MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT!"
SO, THEY WALK SOME MORE, AND HSR SEES A WINDOW,
AND...
WHAT'S THAT!
"OMG!" THINKS HSR!...
BUT THEY KEEP WALKING...
"WHO'S THAT?
SAYS HSR,
AS HE RUBS HIS CROSS
IN HIS POCKET!
"OH, I DON'T KNOW...SHE JUST COMES AND GOES,"
SAYS NOCOLI...
AND THEN, THEY PASS A LOT OF THESE
AND THIS STRANGE
'LIVING ART!'
NOW,
THEY GO UP SOME
STAIRS
AND GET TO ANOTHER ROOM...
BUT THE LADIES DON'T GO IN!...
...
AND DARKNIA SAYS,
"HSR...WE ARE
FORBIDDEN TO GO
INTO THIS ROOM...
SO,
YOU MUST GO IN THERE
BY YOURSELF AND
DEAL WITH THE TWO MIRRORS!...
WE'LL PAY YOU...A...A...A THOUSAND DOLLARS...GO, NOW...
GO!"...
SO HSR,
THINKING ABOUT
THAT MONEY FOR
USC DENTAL SCHOOL,
LOOKS AND WALKS IN
THE ROOM
SLOWLY
AND SEES
THIS... AND HE FIXES THAT ONE
UP THERE IN
NO TIME FLAT!...
THEN,
HE TURNS AROUND IN THE ROOM AND SEES,
"OH NO!...
SOME REAL GHOSTS!...
BUT THEY DON'T LOOK HIS WAY
OR BOTHER HIM!...
AND HSR REMEMBERS A FRIEND
THAT MET A GHOST, BUT
STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
SO,
HSR LOOKS AT ANOTHER WALL
AND SEES
A LOT OF RESTLESSNESS!
"OH, THERE'S THE OTHER MIRROR!" HE SQUIMISHES...
SO,
HE GOES UP CLOSE TO IT...
"HEY, THERE'S NO REFLECTION...
IT LOOKS LIKE AN...
EERY SPACE!"
BUT, HSR MAKES THE MISTAKE OF
TOUCHING THE APPARENT GLASS!
BIG MISTAKE!
NOW
HSR SEES PEOPLE INSIDE THE MIRROR
LOOKING AT HIM
AND THEY SAY,
"WELCOME!"
AND
HSR IS NOW,
SUCKED IN!
OH NO!...
"WHERE AM I GOING?!...
I'VE GOT DENTAL SCHOOL COMING UP!"
OMG!...PLEASE
STOP!...
WHAT THE...!
BUT, NOW...
...IT'S TOTALLY BLACK
AS HSR CLUTCHES
HIS CROSS AND RING!
BUT NOW, HE STARTS TO HEAR
SOME VOICES!...
AND PEOPLE...
YIKES!...HE LANDS RIGHT
IN FRONT OF THEM!
"WHO ARE
THESE GUYS," HE CRIES...
AND, NOT WANTING TO FIND OUT...
...HSR RUBS HIS CROSS AND,
WHOA!
HE TRANSPORTS AGAIN!...
NOW, HSR GOES INTO
AN UNKNOWN WORM HOLE!...
"AT LEAST I'M GONE FROM THERE...
BUT WHERE WILL I GO
NEXT?"
...
SO,
THIS GIG OF
CHANGING MIRRORS TO
PAY FOR DENTAL SCHOOL
HAS HSR
'GOING THROUGH CHANGES'...
SPECIFICALLY...NOW...
...CHANGING DIMENSIONS
WITHIN THE MIRROR!
NOW,
HE ENDS UP IN A ROOM
AND A
...VARIABLE
FORCE...
PROBABLY...THE
'QUEEN OF THIS QUEENDOM'...
STANDS BY A TABLE
AND SAYS,
"NOW THAT YOU ARE IN MY
'DIMENSIONAL TEXTURE,'
I WANT YOU TO SEE
WHAT PEOPLE
'DO'
IN MY MIRRORS,
AND TELL ME IMMEDIATELY,
IF YOU SEE ANYTHING
THAT
I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT!"
SO,
OF THE MANY
MIRRORS ON THE WALLS
OF HER DOMAIN,
HE TAKES A LOOK
AND NOTICES
A WOMAN AND
HER MAKE UP
AND A GUY
DOING
FACIAL GYMNASTICS...
...AND SOME PEEK-
...A-BOO!...
AND IN THIS MIRROR...
HSR IS FEELING,
..."I THINK THAT THIS
LADY
IS IN LOVE!"...
...PRACTICING
IN THE MIRROR...
IS GOOD PRACTICE!
"OMGOSH!...
IT'S THIS
HANDSOME
GUY!...
...I'M TELLING YOU...
...PULL ASIDE AND...
AND LET HIM PASS BY!"
"YES...
MIRRORS SEE THE
HAPPY AND
THE SAD!...
...AND THE
BEAUTIFUL...
...AND...
GRACEFUL!
WHOOPS!
...ERROR!"...
THEN...OUT OF NOWHERE,
HSR
LET'S OUT A LARGE
'HOMO CYBERGRAPHICUS' BURP!...
AND ALMOST IMMEDIATELY,
SOME PEOPLE LOOKING
INTO THEIR MIRRORS,
SENSE THAT
SOMETHING...
IS GOING ON!
NOW, PEOPLE
ALL OVER
SUSPECT SOMETHING'S WRONG...
AND THAT THEY
MAYBE
ARE BEING SPIED ON!...
SO,
THIS GUY DOESN'T
TRUST
HIS MIRROR
BEING SHATTERED BY THE PEOPLE!
"I DO NOT KNOW
WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF,
OR WHAT YOU ARE DOING,
BUT
YOU'RE
MESSING THINGS UP AROUND HERE...
...GO NOW!...
...AT ONCE!"
AND...ONCE AGAIN, HSR
FINDS SAFETY IN
ESCAPING,
AS HE
RUBS HIS CROSS
AND CHANGES
DIMENSIONS WITHIN
...THE MIRROR...
...AND...
..AFTER PASSING A 'PROVERBIAL PORTAL'...
...HE TRIES TO KEEP
..AFTER PASSING A 'PROVERBIAL PORTAL'...
...HE TRIES TO KEEP
SOME WORKING
RUDIMENTARY
COGNITION,
IN HIS SUBCONSCIOUSNESS...
AND AFTER A BIT...
INSIDE,
HE FEELS THAT HIS
'CORPOREAL SELF''
IS
ABOUT TO
'REALIZE SOMETHING!'"
...
AND AFTER MORE TRAVELING
THROUGH A
GLASS AND
MIRROR UNIVERSE,
HE APPEARS
BACK INTO
THE ROOM WITH
THE MIRRORS
AND THE CREEPY WINDOW
AND THE SILENT GHOSTS
AND THAT DARN MIRROR,
AND HE
QUICKLY GOES UP AGAINST THE WALL
NEXT TO THAT MIRROR
AND TAKES IT OFF
OF THE WALL
AND
SETS IT ON THE FLOOR
WITH THE FACE DOWN
AND QUICKLY
SWAPS OUT THE GLASS...
THEN, NOT WANTING
TO TAKE THAT GLASS
WITH HIM,
HE LEANS THAT
FORSAKEN MIRROR
FACING AGAINST THE WALL
TO MUTE ITS
POTENTIAL THREATS,
THEN,
HE QUICKLY LEAVES
THE ROOM!...
"GOOD, HSR, I SEE
THAT YOU FINISHED TTHE
MIRRORS IN THAT ROOM!...I HOPE THAT
EVERYTHING WENT
ALONG JUST FINE!"
"OH, IT'S NOTHING THAT
I COULDN'T HANDLE," SAYS HSR,
AS HE FRANTICALLY RUBS
THE CROSS IN HIS POCKET!...
"FOLLOW ME, PLEASE, SIR," SAYS
DARKNIA,
AS SHE LEADS THE GROUP TO
ANOTHER ROOM,
"THIS IS
THE LAST
MIRROR...WE'LL
LET YOU
GET TO WORK NOW."
THEN,
THEY GO ELSEWHERE...
NEXT,
HSR GOES UP TO THE
MIRROR AND
GIVES IT
THE 'TOUCH TEST!'
THEN...
SOMETHING APPEARS
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE MIRROR
AND SAYS,
HI THERE!... I JUST WANT
SOME OF YOUR ATTENTION!"
THEN THIS 'THING'
SAYS,
"PLEASE GET ME
OUT OF HERE...PLEASE!"
AFTER THAT,
THIS 'MIRROR BEING'
SAYS,
"STEP CLOSER TO
OUR MIRROR...
...AT ONCE!"
OMGOSH!...SOME
MAJOR INTERFERENCE
IS HAPPENING!...
AND AS HSR SEES THIS,
HE STEPS
BACK EVEN FURTHER, AND NOW
GLASS IS
EVERYWHERE!
NOW,
HE RUNS OUT OF THE ROOM AND TELLS
NOCOLI AND DARKNIA,"I'M GOING BACK TO THE SHOP
TO GET
A
MIRROR THAT WILL FIT!
THEN,
NOCOLI SAYS,
"PLEASE COME BACK
SOONER THAN LATER,
AND
HERE'S THAT
THOUSAND WE PROMISED!
SO,
AS SOON AS HE GETS
INTO HIS CAR
HE
SPEEDS AWAY AND
CONFIRMS TO HIMSELF,
"SOMEBODY ELSE CAN DO
THAT JOB... I AM...
NOT GOING BACK!"
May you have many...
...Smiles!
“Thank Goodness…
…I’m
finished for the Night!”
“Yikes!...Those Hygienists
“Come here, you
"This won't...
A rare (?) interaction between
two Bacterial Species?
"These New Scalers and
Root Planers...
Are 'The Bomb!'"
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