Saturday, August 1, 2015

I Love My New Smile and My New Bikini! Now Guys Are Following Me All Over The Beach! Part 4.

Your “I’m beginning to like your stories more than some of the movies out there, HSR, ya know, what with all of the convoluted twists and hairpin turns of the plots!” smile, says WE ARE CONTINUING WHERE WE LEFT OFF ON THE GREAT SMILE AND BIKINI SAGA, AND THAT IS WHERE THE NON-EYE-PATCH-WEARING SAILOR HSR IS BEING OFFERED, OR MORE LIKE COMMANDED, TO TELL SOME APPRAISER WHERE THE SKELETON OF THE SHIP, THE SIN NOMBRE, IS LOCATED, BECAUSE IT WAS LARGER, AND IT WAS ALSO WAS PAINTED BLACK LIKE THE LONELY STARRY NIGHTS AT SEA, AND CARRIED THE MOST IMPORTANT CARGO THAT THE NINA, PINTA, AND SANTA MARIA WEREN’T ALLOWED TO CARRY, BECAUSE THEY WOULD HAVE FOR SURE BEEN PIRATED, AND THE CONTENTS OF THE SIN NOMBRE WERE ABSOLUTELY MIND-BOGGLING: WE’RE TALKING HUMONGUS SEVEN FOOT SOLID GOLD STATUES, HORDES AND HORDES OF NONDEGRADED, GLISTERING OLD COLONIAL ERA GOLD COINS ABOUT FIVE INCHES IN DIAMETER,  EACH WITH DIFFERENT OLD-WORLD DERCORATIVE RELIEF PICTURES, ALSO, EXTREMELY LARGE SEA PEARLS, THE LIKES AND DEMENSIONS OF WHICH ARE UNHEARD OF, AND, NOW THAT THE HSR THINKS ABOUT IT, THE OCTOPUS LORDING OVER ALL OF THIS LOOT BACK THERE HAD IN ONE OF ITS ARMS, A KING’S PURE GOLD WALKING CANE THAT WAS SATURATED WITH SOME FABLED SUPER DIAMONDS, AND IT HAD RARE RUBIES AND AMYTHYST STONES AS LARGE AS A PERSON’S THUMB ARTISTICALLY EMBEDDED INTO THE SIDES OF THE CANE, AND ALL OF THIS WAS JUST A SMALL PORTION OF THE TOTAL CONTENTS OF THE VESSEL, SO THE HSR SAYS TO THE APPRAISER THAT HE WILL “TRY TO REMEMBER” WHERE HE FOUND THE GOLD COIN, AND GET BACK TO HIM TO TELL HIM, AND THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO TAKE THE 3 MILLION DOLLARS IN THE CASE IN FRONT OF HIM NOW, BECAUSE THE STREETS ARE TOO DANGEROUS TO WALK AROUND WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY, SO HE SAYS THAT HE WILL BE BACK IN 3 DAYS, AND EXCUSES HIMSELF TO LEAVE, AND HE EXITS THE TALL GLASS BUILDING, WHERE HE SEES A TROPICAL SPORTS BAR, WHICH SEEMS LIKE A NICE PLACE TO STOP BY RIGHT NOW, SO HE GOES IN, SITS AT THE BAR, AND ORDERS A TALL GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE WITH HEAVY PULP AND TWO CHERRIES ON TOP, HIS FAVORITE, AND TAKES A LONG SWIG, AND TRIES TO FIGURE OUT HIS NEXT MOVE, HOWEVER, THE HSR NOTICES A BIG BURLY GUY IN A SUIT WALK INTO THE BAR, AND HE ALSO TAKES A SEAT, AND STARES AT THE HSR’S EVERY MOVE, LEADING THE HSR TO PLAN TO USE A TRICK UP HIS SLEEVE, AND THAT SINCE THE HSR IS MAJORITY-PART PLASMA/GASEOUS SILICON IN NATURE, HE IS WHAT BIOPHYSICISTS CALL HOMO HOLOGRAPHICUS, AND THIS ALLOWS THE HSR TO…SORRY…I’M OUT OF BREATH!...I’LL CONTINUE NEXT TIME!
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“At times, what is not said, may have more impact than what is said!” 






Sandy, the tall and darling young man I just met, who caught my attention by hiding under some sand, to the point where I thought he was buried alive, is now being carted off somewhere by three beefy security-looking guys. And they don’t look like the police!

Did he play a trick on them or somebody else?

Just before all of this happened, he told me to retrieve a briefcase for him, the contents of which, he did not say.

Sandy is in a quite enviable position, if what he says is true, that the biotech firm he founded is being brought out by Europa Pharma for three of those pretty little billion ones!

I’m into the bioenergetics medicine field, and I know that if you can get 3 billion of the world’s population to, say, pay $50 a year for any needed pharmaceutical, you’ve earned 150 billion in 365 days, enough to make any capitalist worth his or her salt, almost fall out of their customized $20,000 executive chair!

So, I know there are some very high-stakes shenanigans happening right now!

If I want Sandy to live, and I think he should, I must get that attaché case, because it may be the only bargaining chip keeping him alive…so I must go to the Sunset Sea Cliffs Grande Hotel Penthouse Suite and put in the security code 6886 that Sandy told me, and get the suitcase and disappear…now!

So, I continue my nonchalant walk on the beach away from that chaos that just happened and toward my car.
  
This whole walk on the beach started off as just a way of sampling the sweet sea coast, but I guess got a little more attention than I bargained for, by wearing the smallest and prettiest two-piece ‘kini I could find, topped off with the brand-spanking new dental veneers all across the face, to bequeath me a real, stand-up-and-take-notice, show-quality smile...thanks to Dr. Pearladont!

But, I don’t think that showing who I am is ever the wrong thing to do!

If I could see Mr. Nana again, the other gentleman I met, I would ask him if we all get what we really deserve in the end…

…I’m just about to where my car is, and I turn and I look to the sea’s horizon, and ask the Nana question again, “What must be?”

No new answers come popping out right now, but I know that someone needs help…right now…and that two sailboats way out there on the sea are hypnotically streaming across the waters as if that’s the most important thing in the world for them to do at this moment!

I get my keys out and press the unlock button on the bob, and I’m about to open the door, when the guy on the beach with the binoculars, surprisingly walks up to me and puts his hand on my door and asks, “Do you know that guy back there? Did he tell you anything?...”

I immediately tell him, “Sure, he wanted to get my number so we could go out, but I told him that I could see that he has many girlfriends from the look in his eyes, and told him no!”

The guy in the dark suit mulled over what I just said a little, and said,  “Well, thank you, Miss.”

So, I climb into my BMW i8…







…But I tell myself that I must ditch this car, and drive some thing less conspicuous for now…

So, I get out of the parking lot, and drive a little, and see in my rear view mirror a big black SUV following me…probably the same guy…

…then I make a right, then a left turn, and the person is still following me…

That’s when I see a tanker truck stalled in the street, so I quickly zoom under it with my tiny car…

…And the SUV is stuck and can’t chase me!...

…now I have a little room and time to operate…

…So, I head straight to a parking structure that just happens to be close to the Hotel and park there in a special space that I have that is privately enclosed with a door, and exit the car and go over to my other car, and drive off, all while changing clothes and putting on a wig in the process…

…Now I’m at the Hotel parking area with no sign of the SUV in sight, so I go in the Hotel, and ride up to the penthouse suite, punch in the code to exit the elevator, and then punch in the same code to get into the suite…

And when I open the double-thick entry door, I am immediately shocked by the…




TO BE CONTINUED…





May you have many…for a sweet sunny afternoon with a cool breeze to come about for us on this Earth, especially near or on the beach in Southern California, many other places in the sky and in outer space need to be extremely inhospitable to Man”…when I really think about it, my smile is part of my facial “business card!”…does everybody have some favorite music that they like to play repeatedly?…smiles!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Ahoy, Mates !...Rise And Shine!...Time To Swab Those Decks!...Of Teeth!

THE HSR IS SLEEEPING IN HIS SMALL WOODEN DINGY OF A WATER CRAFT, ANCHORED IN A BEAUTIFUL ISLAND COVE, AND IS JUST SNORING AWAY, AND DEEP INSIDE ONE OF HIS DREAMS, HE SEES HIMSELF SUNNING AND TAKING IT EXTRA EASY IN HIS SMALL BOAT, BUT WHEN HE LOOKS UP, THERE IS AN APPROACHING BIG-MOUTHED WHALE, AND BEFORE HE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, THE WHALE TAKES A BIG GULP AND TAKES HIM AND THE BOAT ALL THE WAY IN, AND THIS IS SO FRIGHTENING TO THE HSR THAT HE WAKES UP OUT OF HIS DREAM, AND IS GLAD TO SEE HIMSELF ALL IN ONE PIECE AND OKAY, BUT TO HIS SURPRISE, THERE IS A REAL WHALE WITH A BIG WIDE OPEN MOUTH COMING RIGHT TOWARD HIM, SO HE JUMPS OFF OF THE SMALL BOAT IN A HURRY, AND SWIMS SAFELY TO SHORE, ONLY LOOKING BACK TO THE WATERS TO SEE THE BIG WHALE SLOWLY SWIM OFF WITH THE BOAT IN ITS STOMACH, AND MAKING SOME BIG BUBBLES, WHICH MAY MEAN THAT IT IS BURPING OR SOMETHING, SO NOW, ON THIS ISLAND, THE HSR IS BY HIMSELF, WITHOUT HIS CELL PHONE AND NO FOOD, WHICH MEANS THAT HE’S GOING TO NEED TO LIVE LIKE A SURVIVALIST STARTING RIGHT NOW, SO HE WALKS AROUND THE BEACH AREA A LITTLE BIT, AND HE HEARS SOME ONE WALKING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF SOME FERNS, SO HE CAREFULLY LOOKS THROUGH THE TREES AT WHAT MIGHT BE CAUSING THE NOISE, AND IT’S A PRETTY WOMAN WITH A GRASS SKIRT AND PROPERLY PLACED LEAVES, BUT, WHILE HE’S LOOKING AT THIS PERSON, SOMEONE BEHIND HIM TAPS HIM ON HIS SHOULDER, SO HE TURNS AROUND, AND TO HIS SURPRISE, uh, stop right there, mister blogger, because I think I know where you might be going with this—but I  never know for sure—so, my “I like it when you talk about getting saturated with paradise” smile is not going on any boat without my waterproof cell phone with an extra battery pack, a weeks worth of food and water, an inflatable raft, and of course, my rubber ducky!
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“It’s really too bad that the Sun cannot see the beautiful sunsets that it produces here on Earth!”





How do ya wake up?

Do you jump up with a jolt?...

…or do you greet the day in the living world with a slow and gradual process!

Well…ya know what…

…all yawl Swashbucklers!...

I don’t care…about when or how you get up…

…and start the day…

…you just better act like seriously seaworthy sailors!…

Arr, arr, arrr!!

…and swab those decks…

…of your sweet teethies…and do it well…

…leave no streaks…and I mean it…

…or you’ll have the intimate pleasure of a one way trip on me pine plank!...

Oh, yes!...

...and the sharks are hungry, with their dozens and dozens of freshly ocean-cleaned teeth, which are imbued with the wonderful scent of new plankton!…

Well, shiver me timbers!... 

...You do like fish, don’t you…But I don’t want your breath smelling like Bluefin!

So get out your equivalent of a big wet mop and a sudsy bucket…and start to scrubbin’!

Cause I, and me parrot, that also wears an eye patch like me…



…have a good mind to pass out some whiplashes…for free!

Oh, I see you’re moving that sudsy toothbrush around like you mean it!...

…well, I guess you’re spared for this day!

Oh, you say that you’re making "plaque walk the plank?"

Well, I like your pizazz-n-all, but I’m the only Sea Captain ‘round these parts!...

Got it, or I’ll make ya clean the outside of me ship that's underwater!


Arr, arr, arr!...Where's me Rum!





May you have many…a healthy, spic and span smile will help you sail on more smoothly through the day, and life…Neanderthalensis people are rumored to have successfully eluded our detection by hiding in the deepest underground caves and caverns in the thickest jungles of poisonous plants of Papau New Guinea...I know that I have to get this thing done by the quote-unquote "deadline," but, --can't they come up with a better, not-so-fatalistic, a term?...smiles!

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Hero Fireman Pulls Little Girl Out Of Burning Building! His Reward?…A Really Big Smile, A Squeezy Hug And A Heartfelt “Thank You!” Part 1.

THIS PREFACE IS A STORY OF THE YOUNG AND LANKY HSR, WHO IS THE SUPREME GASEOUS-AND-PLASMA-SILICON-LACED (WITH RARE LEFT-HANDED STATIONARY NEUTRINOS SPRINKLED IN HERE AND THERE) CYBERNETIC EMBODIMENT OF THE HOLLYWOOD SMILES REPORT, AND HE LOOKS OUT OVER THE PARK’S SWIMMING POOL, AND, AT 14 YEARS OF AGE, WITH A HINT OF AN EMERGING SIX-PACK ON HIS SKINNY SELF, HE IS ENJOYING THE FIRST DAY OF HIS FIRST SUMMER JOB AS A LIFE GUARD, AND EVERYTHING'S GOING ALRIGHT SO FAR, AS THE KIDS PLAY AND SPLASH AND SHOUT IN THE WATER, AND THE GUYS WALK AROUND THE POOL SLOWLY AND MUSCULARLY WITH THEIR STOMACHS SUCKED IN TO LOOK VIRILE TO THE LADIES, AND THE YOUNG LADIES THICKLY APPLY SUNSCREEN ALL OVER AS THE GUYS WATCH AND DREAM OF WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAPPEN, BUT IT PROBABLY WON'T, ALL THE WHILE, THE HSR IS SITTING HIGH ON TOP OF THE TALL LIFE GUARD'S CHAIR, WITH THE UMBRELLA STRATEGICALLY LEANING TO THE SIDE AND BLOCKING EL SOL OUT OF HIS FACE, AND HE HAS SOME OF THAT WHITE PROTECTION LOTION CAKED ON THIS NOSE TO LOOK THE PART, AND SEATED IN THE SHADE BY THE POOL ARE SOME GIRLS NEW TO THE AREA AND POOL, AND THEY ARE GIGGLING AND FLIRTING AND TRYING TO MAKE THE HSR LOOK THEIR WAY SO HE CAN STARE AT THEM AND FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, THIS FIVE YEAR-OLD GIRL COMES UP TO HIM AND SAYS," HEY, MR. LIFE GUARD, I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM!," AND THE HSR LOOKS DOWN AND SEES A CUTE LITTLE GIRL THAT COULD PASS FOR HIS LITTLE SISTER, SO HE SAYS, "SURE, LITTLE ONE. LET'S GO!," AND HOPS OFF AND DOWN THE TALL CHAIR EFFORTLESSLY, AND STARTS WALKING THE GIRL TO THE LADIES ROOM, BUT ON THE WAY, HE SEES A BEAUTIFUL, WELL-ENDOWED WOMAN WEARING ONLY AN EXTREMELY SKIMPY  FLOSS STRING BIKINI, AND THAT DISPLAY MAKES THE HEADS OF ALL THE PEOPLE TURN THAT SHE WALKS BY, AND WHEN SHE REACHES THE HSR, SHE ASKS HIM, "ARE YOU REALLY GOOD AT CPR," AND THE HSR IS SO TAKEN ABACK THAT HE STARTS TO STUTTER, "I...I...," AND AT THAT EXACT MOMENT A REALLY HUGE GUY DOES A CANNONBALL OFF OF THE HIGH DIVING BOARD, AND MAKES AN UNBELIEVABLE SPLASH THAT TAKES OUT AT LEAST ONE TENTH OF THE POOL WATER, AND IT MOSTLY WETS THE WOMAN, THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE HSR, MAKING THEM, oh my gosh, stop...you've got me biting my fingernails anticipating what's going to happen next, however, my "you know, I'm now realizing that all of the lines in Nature have a little curve in them" smile, just wants to barbecue some ribs, chicken, corn, and fish in the backyard for tonight's loud techno block party!
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“So many people have the wonders of Modern Medicine and Modern Dentistry to thank for their continued quality of life survival and appearance!"  





It was late at night last week and there was nothing much happening as far as auto accidents and fires go on the streets and freeways of this huge L.A. metropolis.

Yes, it was a slow night…just the way we like to see it in this big city of millions!

But Fire Captain Anthony Penn had an uneasy feeling, because it seemed to be too quiet.

However, since the Emergency Lights and 911 Systems weren’t activated, Captain Penn thought, “Well, I guess I’ll just count my Lucky Stars!”

So he told the guys at the Station House that he was going to drive around the neighborhood only to “check things out.”

Captains are high enough in rank, so they can do stuff like that.

Sweet!

He has always had a penchant for doing these “preventive runs,” because he would sometimes find, on very cold nights like this, an abandoned trash can containing fire which temporarily keeps people warm, or he might come across, by chance, elderly people having difficulty crossing wide and busy streets. There’s always something.

So, he has helped many people, and not all of it has been CPR!

This night, he was driving slowly around his old school, Washington High School, where he was voted the “The Coolest and Most Enthusiastic” member of his Graduating Class.

He turns the corner onto Denker Ave. and slowly creeps along, daydreaming about all of the fun he had at the school, and how he wished those care-free summery days would never end.

He pulls along the curb and parks the car but doesn’t get out.

Something inside of him tells him to wait right there.

And wouldn’t you know it, the man who answers all people and property emergencies, just happens to be in the right place, at the right time…again!

Because a big explosion rocks the corner house one block down!

The windows are blown out from several houses nearby, because the blast is so huge.

Captain Penn, hurriedly exits his car, dons his fire suit (which never leaves his side), along with his oxygen source, and radios in for a quick response to what is something terrible in the making.

“Dang! This is a gas explosion!” Penn analyzes on the run.

The exploded building is now half in flames!...

…and there are some adults staggering out of the front of the house…

…he helps them across the street, and seats them on a grassy lawn…

One of the adults comes out of a daze and shouts, “Where’s my baby! My baby, Myka!  She’s still in there!...Oh, please!...save My Baby!

…The eager-to-claim night fire casts evil dancing ghosts of light across the buildings in the neighborhood…

The Captain sees a little girl stick her head out of a window on the side of the house. She shouts, “Momee! Momee!  Come get me!

So, Penn, who has decathlete skills, makes a beeline to the house and enters where the front door used to be.

Without hesitation, he sees the stairway, which is gaining in fire, and sprints to the second floor, but, he is pushed back by the roaring-by-now heat and flames…

…And the shouting little girl is starting to get weaker in her voice’s plea for help…

“Myka! Myka! I’m coming for you! Don’t breathe the smoke!” warns Captain Penn.

The Captain, spilling over with adrenaline, fights through heavy flames down the long hallway…and kicks down the door with one large authoritative stomp…

The flames roar up behind him, because now there’s more oxygen for them to destructively feed on…

His fire-retardant suit saves him again…but the girl is not in the room!...

“Myka! Myka! Where are you!” he shouts…

“She was in a corner window, but, dang, where is she now?” almost cries Captain Penn.

He hears a scream that’s getting faint…

“She must have moved to the next room,” he thinks.

So Penn picks up a bedspread and tosses it at the flames to break the fire a little, so he can exit this room and check the next room…

But, in the process, something sticking out of a wall, cuts cleanly through his protective suit and lashes his leg, so now, he’s limping to get to the next room where Myka most likely is…

…he tries to kick the door down, but can’t muster the strength…

…then he tries to bang his body into the door twice…

…but no go!...

Then he thinks back in time to the first person he saved—when he first started as a rookie fireman—it was an elderly lady suffering smoke inhalation…

With a new and dedicated fervor, he backs up a couple of steps, flexes with focus, and shouts a loud “Grrrr Yaa!,” which helps to bring out enough hurled body force against the door, so it flies off of the hinges and onto the floor, just like in the movies!...

But, Captain Anthony Penn doesn’t expect what he sees next…




TO BE CONTINUED…




May you have many…enjoy everyday and every breath, because one day, they will be your last…he who harnesses the electron may enjoy the benefits of a modern electric grid and appliances, but he is by no means the master of this universe-wide, ubiquitous, and potentially life-giving, yet lethal, force…be fearless but also be wise!…smiles!
































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