THE HSR IS SLEEEPING IN HIS SMALL WOODEN DINGY OF A WATER
CRAFT, ANCHORED IN A BEAUTIFUL ISLAND COVE, AND IS JUST SNORING AWAY, AND DEEP
INSIDE ONE OF HIS DREAMS, HE SEES HIMSELF SUNNING AND TAKING IT EXTRA EASY IN
HIS SMALL BOAT, BUT WHEN HE LOOKS UP, THERE IS AN APPROACHING BIG-MOUTHED
WHALE, AND BEFORE HE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, THE WHALE TAKES A BIG GULP AND
TAKES HIM AND THE BOAT ALL THE WAY IN, AND THIS IS SO FRIGHTENING TO THE HSR
THAT HE WAKES UP OUT OF HIS DREAM, AND IS GLAD TO SEE HIMSELF ALL IN ONE PIECE
AND OKAY, BUT TO HIS SURPRISE, THERE IS A REAL WHALE WITH A BIG WIDE OPEN MOUTH
COMING RIGHT TOWARD HIM, SO HE JUMPS OFF OF THE SMALL BOAT IN A HURRY, AND
SWIMS SAFELY TO SHORE, ONLY LOOKING BACK TO THE WATERS TO SEE THE BIG WHALE
SLOWLY SWIM OFF WITH THE BOAT IN ITS STOMACH, AND MAKING SOME BIG BUBBLES,
WHICH MAY MEAN THAT IT IS BURPING OR SOMETHING, SO NOW, ON THIS ISLAND, THE HSR
IS BY HIMSELF, WITHOUT HIS CELL PHONE AND NO FOOD, WHICH MEANS THAT HE’S GOING
TO NEED TO LIVE LIKE A SURVIVALIST STARTING RIGHT NOW, SO HE WALKS AROUND THE
BEACH AREA A LITTLE BIT, AND HE HEARS SOME ONE WALKING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF
SOME FERNS, SO HE CAREFULLY LOOKS THROUGH THE TREES AT WHAT MIGHT BE CAUSING
THE NOISE, AND IT’S A PRETTY WOMAN WITH A GRASS SKIRT AND PROPERLY PLACED
LEAVES, BUT, WHILE HE’S LOOKING AT THIS PERSON, SOMEONE BEHIND HIM TAPS HIM ON
HIS SHOULDER, SO HE TURNS AROUND, AND TO HIS SURPRISE, uh, stop right there,
mister blogger, because I think I know where you might be going with this—but
I never know for sure—so, my “I like it
when you talk about getting saturated with paradise” smile is not going on any
boat without my waterproof cell phone with an extra battery pack, a weeks worth of food and water, an
inflatable raft, and of course, my rubber ducky!
“It’s really too bad that the Sun cannot see the beautiful
sunsets that it produces here on Earth!”
How do ya wake up?
Do you jump up with a jolt?...
…or do you greet the day in the living world with a slow and
gradual process!
Well…ya know what…
…all yawl Swashbucklers!...
I don’t care…about when or how you get up…
…and start the day…
…you just better act like seriously seaworthy sailors!…
Arr, arr, arrr!!
…and swab those decks…
…of your sweet teethies…and do it well…
…leave no streaks…and I mean it…
…or you’ll have the intimate pleasure of a one way trip on
me pine plank!...
Oh, yes!...
...and the sharks are hungry, with their dozens and
dozens of freshly ocean-cleaned teeth, which are imbued with the wonderful scent of new plankton!…
Well, shiver me timbers!...
...You do like fish, don’t you…But I
don’t want your breath smelling like Bluefin!
So get out your equivalent of a big wet mop and a sudsy bucket…and
start to scrubbin’!
Cause I, and me parrot, that also wears an eye patch like
me…
…have a good mind to pass out some whiplashes…for free!
Oh, I see you’re moving that sudsy toothbrush around like
you mean it!...
…well, I guess you’re spared for this day!
Oh, you say that you’re making "plaque walk the plank?"
Well, I like your pizazz-n-all, but I’m the only Sea Captain ‘round
these parts!...
Got it, or I’ll make ya clean the outside of me ship that's underwater!
Arr, arr, arr!...Where's me Rum!
May you have many…a healthy, spic and span smile will help you sail on more smoothly through the day, and life…Neanderthalensis people are rumored to have successfully eluded our detection by hiding in the deepest underground caves and caverns in the thickest jungles of poisonous plants of Papau New Guinea...I know that I have to get this thing done by the quote-unquote "deadline," but, --can't they come up with a better, not-so-fatalistic, a term?...smiles!
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