...Pow!...
...How Ya Like Me Now!...
Your Smile is
So Smooth and Sweet
that
there are
No Tricks!...Only 'Treats!'"
"Someone told me
that I
am Addicted to you!
And you know what
I told them?...
I told them
To 'Mind Their Own Business!'"
"So, Doctor...
You want to
Whiten My Teeth,
So that You Can
Look at My Smile
All Day Long?...
...Okay!"
"You know what I tell
Someone Who I think is
trying to 'Pull A Fast One'
on me?...
I tell Them
to 'Slow Down!"
"Greetings to you...
from the Rain Forest!...
"All of those Women in Your
Waiting Room
are Acting so
'Slick and Tricky'
to be your 'Best Patient!'
But You told me
that
the Best Way
to your Heart
is to
Act and Speak...
the
...Pure Truth!"
"I Love You
This Much...
...Times Two Million!"
"If I get that
'Gut Instinct'
that
Someone is
Trying to
Cheat Me...
I tell them,
"Thanks...But, No Thanks!""
You and Your
"I just like seeing
deeper into things
like a
Spy or
a Treasure-Hunter"
Smiles
are
"Whoa!...Happy to find
Free Money
Just
Laying on The Street!
The Episode for Today,
which is 'Shrouded in Mystery'
is related to you,
syntactically
by 'The Veritable'
'Three Blind Mice!
Oh No!...
HSR is on his
Toboggan again!
And that means that
other
People out there
in the Snow,
better
Watch Out!...
...for their Own Good!
And HSR
himself,
better
really
Be Careful...
...Or Else!
But HSR's
little Doggie
likes the snow, too,
and
knows what it wants,
and doesn't Mind
Rudely taking
control of
HSR's Sleigh!
There you have it,
Ladies and Gentlemen and Non-Binaries!...
Psychologically Speaking,
HSR
suffers from
'Loss Of Control' Issues
almost Everyday!...
...And this New Day is
not going to be any exception!
Because
when we last saw
"Thanks For My Bangin’ New Smile,
Dentist, Man!…
Now Girls Are
Calling Me
Left
and Right! Part 4.,"
HSR,
IS TRYING TO
FIGURE HIS WAY OUT
OF A
DARK AND COLD
MEDIEVAL-LOOKING CASTLE,
BY GOING ROOM TO ROOM,
AND
HOPING THAT HE’LL
FINALLY FIND
THE MAIN EXIT,
BUT,
EACH TIME HE ENTERS ONE ROOM,
WHICH INVARIABLY CONTAINS
AN UNEXPECTED
AND MENACING MONSTER...
HE,
SO FAR,
HAS BEEN ABLE TO
EXTRICATE HIMSELF
AND ESCAPE OUT OF
ALL OF THOSE ROOMS,
BUT NO ROOMS YET,
HAVE AN EXIT!
OKAY...SO,
HE KEEP ON GOING INTO
A NEW ROOM
AND FINDING
ANOTHER TYPE OF YUCKY LIVING THING,
WHICH WANTS TO
KEEP HSR,
AND DO UNKNOWABLE
THINGS TO HIM,
SO,
IN THE LATEST ROOM,
WE FIND HSR
TRYING TO GET AWAY
FROM SOMETHING LARGE
THAT SLITHERS
AND DRAGS ITSELF ON THE FLOOR,
BUT THE ROOM
IS DARK,
SO HE CAN’T SEE ANYTHING,
AND HE SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY,
AND BLINDLY,
WALKS,
TOUCHING THE WALL
AS HE GOES ALONG TO FIND,
ANOTHER DOOR TO ESCAPE
TO THE OUTSIDE!...
BUT, NOW,
AS HE
FINALLY FINDS
THE DOORKNOB OF A NEW DOOR,
TO GET OUT OF THIS ROOM,
HE FEELS A
WET AND SLIMY TENTACLE,
AND
HOPING THAT HE’LL
FINALLY FIND
THE MAIN EXIT,
BUT,
EACH TIME HE ENTERS ONE ROOM,
WHICH INVARIABLY CONTAINS
AN UNEXPECTED
AND MENACING MONSTER...
HE,
SO FAR,
HAS BEEN ABLE TO
EXTRICATE HIMSELF
AND ESCAPE OUT OF
ALL OF THOSE ROOMS,
BUT NO ROOMS YET,
HAVE AN EXIT!
OKAY...SO,
HE KEEP ON GOING INTO
A NEW ROOM
AND FINDING
ANOTHER TYPE OF YUCKY LIVING THING,
WHICH WANTS TO
KEEP HSR,
AND DO UNKNOWABLE
THINGS TO HIM,
SO,
IN THE LATEST ROOM,
WE FIND HSR
TRYING TO GET AWAY
FROM SOMETHING LARGE
THAT SLITHERS
AND DRAGS ITSELF ON THE FLOOR,
BUT THE ROOM
IS DARK,
SO HE CAN’T SEE ANYTHING,
AND HE SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY,
AND BLINDLY,
WALKS,
TOUCHING THE WALL
AS HE GOES ALONG TO FIND,
ANOTHER DOOR TO ESCAPE
TO THE OUTSIDE!...
BUT, NOW,
AS HE
FINALLY FINDS
THE DOORKNOB OF A NEW DOOR,
TO GET OUT OF THIS ROOM,
HE FEELS A
WET AND SLIMY TENTACLE,
SLITHERING UP HIS LEG,
AND UNDER HIS PANTS,
SO
HE SCREAMS LOUDLY
AND 'HIGH-NOTEY'...
LIKE A SOPRANO,
THEN HE
KICKS THE TENTACLE
WITH HIS OTHER FOOT,
BUT,
ANOTHER TENTACLE GRABS THAT OTHER FOOT,
SO NOW,
HE’S IN A 'BIG VAT'
OF TROUBLE,
BUT FORTUNATELY,
HIS HANDS
FINALLY FIND
ANOTHER DOOR AND DOORKNOB
WHICH LEADS,
YES,
TO ANOTHER ROOM!...
SO,
HE TWISTS THE KNOB,
AND THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN,
LETTING IN A LOT OF LIGHT,
AND UNDER HIS PANTS,
SO
HE SCREAMS LOUDLY
AND 'HIGH-NOTEY'...
LIKE A SOPRANO,
THEN HE
KICKS THE TENTACLE
WITH HIS OTHER FOOT,
BUT,
ANOTHER TENTACLE GRABS THAT OTHER FOOT,
SO NOW,
HE’S IN A 'BIG VAT'
OF TROUBLE,
BUT FORTUNATELY,
HIS HANDS
FINALLY FIND
ANOTHER DOOR AND DOORKNOB
WHICH LEADS,
YES,
TO ANOTHER ROOM!...
SO,
HE TWISTS THE KNOB,
AND THE DOOR SWINGS OPEN,
LETTING IN A LOT OF LIGHT,
WHICH SCARES
AND MAKES
THE SLITHERING AND TENTACLED MONSTER
WRAPPED AROUND HIS LEGS,
QUICKLY LET GO,
WHICH IS A GOOD THING,
SO,
HSR HIGH STEPS IT
OUT OF THERE
INTO THE NEXT ROOM,
WHICH HAS ENOUGH LIGHT
TO SEEM LIKE
IT’S OUTSIDE,
BUT IT’S NOT,
SO HE’S GLAD,
AT LEAST,
TO GET TENTACLE-FREE,
BUT,
WHAT WAITS FOR HIM
IN THE NEW ROOM NOW
IS
A WOMAN SEATED
AT
A TABLE
WORKING WITH
SOME
CARDS!
AND THAT LADY
REMINDS HSR
OF A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND HE
ONCE KNEW!...
NOW, SHE LOOKS UP
AND CONCENTRATES ON HSR,
AND SAYS,
"WELCOME VISITOR!...
PICK A CARD...
...ANY CARD!..."
THEN,
HSR THINKS
CAUTIOUSLY
FOR A SECOND OR TWO...
OH MY...
HIS ATTENTION TURNS TO
A CREATURE IN A CORNER NOT TOO
FAR FROM
HIM!...
AND THE SOOTH SAYER LADY
SAYS TO HSR,
"OH, DON'T MIND HIM...
HE'S ONLY HUNGRY!..."
HSR THEN TURNS
HIS ATTENTION
BACK TO THE CARDS...
AND HE CHOOSES ONE
AND
TURNS IT OVER...
NOW, THE WOMAN SAYS,
"YOU JUST
PICKED THE CARD THAT
DIRECTS YOU TO
ENTER DOOR NUMBER TWO!"
AND HSR ASKS ,
"WELL, WHAT IF
I WANT TO GO
THROUGH
DOOR NUMBER ONE?"
"YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO
COME BACK OUT,
AND GO THROUGH DOOR #2!,
SHE ASSURES...
SO, HSR
WALKS SLOWLY
TO
DOOR #2,
AND TRIES TO OPEN THE DOOR,
BUT IT
WON'T BUDGE!...
THEN SUDDENLY,
A TRAP DOOR
OPENS BENEATH HIM
AND
'HITS BOTTOM!'
THEN,
USING SOME OF
HIS RESERVE ENERGY,
HSR GETS UP AND LOOKS
AROUND THE ROOM
AND THERE'S
A WINDOW!...HIP HIP HOORAY!
"MAYBE I CAN ESCAPE
THROUGH THAT WINDOW!"
SO HE MAKES A DASH FOR IT...
BUT THIS THING
JUMPS IN FRONT OF HIM!
NOW,
THE PETRIFIED HSR,
SCREAMS,
AND RUNS TO
ANOTHER VISIBLE
DOOR
AND
SLAMS IT SHUT
AFTER HE GOES THROUGH IT!
AND EVERYTHING'S QUIET...UNTIL...
HE HEARS SOME SLOW,
BUT,
HEAVY
BREATHING BEHIND HIM..
AND HE TURNS AROUND
AND SEES
ONE SCARY DUDE!
...THEN
HSR HEARS
ONE PERSON OFF
TO THE SIDE SAY,
"HEY...
TRY AND
COME THIS WAY!"
AND MAKES
THE SLITHERING AND TENTACLED MONSTER
WRAPPED AROUND HIS LEGS,
QUICKLY LET GO,
WHICH IS A GOOD THING,
SO,
HSR HIGH STEPS IT
OUT OF THERE
INTO THE NEXT ROOM,
WHICH HAS ENOUGH LIGHT
TO SEEM LIKE
IT’S OUTSIDE,
BUT IT’S NOT,
SO HE’S GLAD,
AT LEAST,
TO GET TENTACLE-FREE,
BUT,
WHAT WAITS FOR HIM
IN THE NEW ROOM NOW
IS
A WOMAN SEATED
AT
A TABLE
WORKING WITH
SOME
CARDS!
AND THAT LADY
REMINDS HSR
OF A HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND HE
ONCE KNEW!...
NOW, SHE LOOKS UP
AND CONCENTRATES ON HSR,
AND SAYS,
"WELCOME VISITOR!...
PICK A CARD...
...ANY CARD!..."
THEN,
HSR THINKS
CAUTIOUSLY
FOR A SECOND OR TWO...
OH MY...
HIS ATTENTION TURNS TO
A CREATURE IN A CORNER NOT TOO
FAR FROM
HIM!...
AND THE SOOTH SAYER LADY
SAYS TO HSR,
"OH, DON'T MIND HIM...
HE'S ONLY HUNGRY!..."
HSR THEN TURNS
HIS ATTENTION
BACK TO THE CARDS...
AND HE CHOOSES ONE
AND
TURNS IT OVER...
NOW, THE WOMAN SAYS,
"YOU JUST
PICKED THE CARD THAT
DIRECTS YOU TO
ENTER DOOR NUMBER TWO!"
AND HSR ASKS ,
"WELL, WHAT IF
I WANT TO GO
THROUGH
DOOR NUMBER ONE?"
"YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO
COME BACK OUT,
AND GO THROUGH DOOR #2!,
SHE ASSURES...
SO, HSR
WALKS SLOWLY
TO
DOOR #2,
AND TRIES TO OPEN THE DOOR,
BUT IT
WON'T BUDGE!...
THEN SUDDENLY,
A TRAP DOOR
OPENS BENEATH HIM
AND
...NOOOOO!...
HE FALLS
UNTIL HE
THEN,
USING SOME OF
HIS RESERVE ENERGY,
HSR GETS UP AND LOOKS
AROUND THE ROOM
AND THERE'S
A WINDOW!...HIP HIP HOORAY!
"MAYBE I CAN ESCAPE
THROUGH THAT WINDOW!"
SO HE MAKES A DASH FOR IT...
BUT THIS THING
JUMPS IN FRONT OF HIM!
NOW,
THE PETRIFIED HSR,
SCREAMS,
AND RUNS TO
ANOTHER VISIBLE
DOOR
AND
SLAMS IT SHUT
AFTER HE GOES THROUGH IT!
AND EVERYTHING'S QUIET...UNTIL...
HE HEARS SOME SLOW,
BUT,
HEAVY
BREATHING BEHIND HIM..
AND HE TURNS AROUND
AND SEES
ONE SCARY DUDE!
...THEN
HSR HEARS
ONE PERSON OFF
TO THE SIDE SAY,
"HEY...
TRY AND
COME THIS WAY!"
"Hollywood!...I can
Hardly Wait to
'Dive In'
to Your
Spaghetti and Meatballs!"
....
"You have to be careful
in This World...
People will try and
Fool you,
and take what's Yours
and
Take Advantage of You!
I'm telling you...
don't
let Them Do that to You!
I mean...some of These People
want to
'Take Your Head Off!"
Word Up!...
...There are Folks out there
that are So Greedy for
what is
Your Stuff!
Some People are
"Out On The Prowl'...
...to get that
'Big Pay Day!'...Courtesy of You!
Watch out for People volunteering,
"I'd Love to Drive You to
The Bank to
pick up your first
Mega Millions Check!
"Shoot!...
At first,
She talked Me into Hating Him!...
And now...
It's just Me...alone!"
And you have to be
careful about
who
you let into
your Home!...
..."Let Me see...
...is there any
'Money under the Mattress!'"
And when You get back Home...
"Honey!...
what happened to the
Money under the Mattress?"
"Don't You Ever
ask Me
Out on a Date Again!
Oh Yes!...
And 'Watch Out'
for Knives!
Psychologists say that
The Stabber
really 'Gets Off!'
But,
adding
Sarcasm
And since when
do you
have to
'Turn the Other Chest?'
Watch Out!...
Pay Back
Is A Dog!
"If you give me $10.000 today, I'll
give you Twenty Thousand,
Next Week, Okay?"...
..."My Family Member really needs that Operation!
...Okay...
I'll
Do It!"
"That Guy snatched My Purse,
and he ran across the Street, and
a car
smacked His _____ So Good!
"How dare you say
that about my
Boyfriend!...
Them's
'Fighting Words!'"
"I know that You're a Millionaire!...
So What!...
I still Love Your...I mean You!"
Okay...As soon as she leaves, that's
when
I'll go In!
Now,
This next 'Potential Mark'
is going
to
Fight Fire
with Fire...
and
'Throw Back'
a Slick and Tricky Smile...
right back at him!
Just watch!...
"Sir, I have some land
that I can sell to you
for just
$5,000 down!...Right Now!"
"That sounds good...
I'm going to the bank
to get it,
and then I'll
be Right Back!"...(Not!)
"I'm going on
an
Overseas Business Trip for One Month!...
And I just asked My Best
Friend to take the My Kids to school
and watch the House!...
But
I just don't Trust Her
with My Husband!...
On second thought...
I'm going to
Rescind the Offer!"
"You can Bet that
The Moment that _________ leaves
I'm
Going to..."
"Hey, Ol' Buddy, Ol' Pal!...
Can I use your
Brand New
Lamborghini
to drop off some packages?"
"Really?...
Let me see,
...it does need to be
driven fast
to clean out the
Carburator!...
...I'll see if I
can
Find the Keys!"...
...(Not!)...
"You can trust Me...
just ask
my Friends!"
But one 'Friend'
says...
'Oh Boy!'
"What!...You found some
Buried Treasure there?
Sure!...
I'll
Keep it a Secret!"
"Now where does he
'Keep His Stash?"
Some Things are
Accidents
And
Other Things
are
Intentional!
"Aww, Man,
Someone
Broke into
The Warehouse
and Stole all of Our Stock!"
"Hey...You're
Joshin' Me, right?"
"No Man...
"He can go!...
I never really
Loved Him Anyway!"
"Wait!...
What are they
Talking about in there?"
"This is Pay Back...
...for...
Elementary School!"
"You say that there was
100 Dollars in there?...
Well...
I only saw Ten!"
"You just met Me...and...
You want Me
To go to Switzerland
With You?...
Well...
...Okay!"
"My Car just Broke Down...
...How am I
ever going to
make it to
the Bank to
drop off This Cash
in Time?"
"Lady!...
I'd be
'Glad To Help You!"
Woman...Your Problem is that
you're
giving up
too information
to people
You don't even know!
Use Caution
and
Think a little Deeper, Okay!
"You just think You're
Somebody Special,
Don't You!"
"No, I didn't take it!....
What makes you think that
I Took It?"
Yes...
A lot of those Swindlers
are
going to get
Their
'Just
and
Hot...Desserts!'
Believe Me!...
Sometimes You
have to tell 'Those People'
how You Feel
in
'Plain, In-Your-Face English!
However,
when you find
someone that
You can see
Eye to Eye with
...Great!
So Love Yourself...
...like I Love Myself!
...and 'Be Safe' Out There
in that
'Cold and Cruel World!'...
Oh!...and I'm off
to
My Appointments!...
...So...
...On The Further...Sweets!..."
May you have many...
..."Hi, HSR...
You want to know
what I did in France
Last Week?...
Okay...
Well, first...
Blah blah blah"...
..."I'm
So Happy
that
I am Alive Today!
...And that I can
Walk and Talk
and
All of the Rest!
I really feel Super!
But This World
is not
all around,
a Happy Place!
I think I'll
help Someone
have a Better Day!"...
..."Doctor Report!...
I'm so glad that you
could make it
to this
'Meditation And Good Karma' Retreat
in the Wilderness
This Week!
Ever since we were Classmates
in Dental School,
I could tell that you were more
'Enhanced and Sensitive'
than all of the
Other Students!
And now,
Seven Years after Our Graduation,
what with
all of the Adventures that you go through...
You should share your Stories,
and
Write a Blog!...I'll help if you like!..."...
..."Forget about what
happened Last Time!...
This Time...
We come in Peace!"...
...smiles!
"So, HSR...
You want to
'March To The Beat
of
My Drummer?"...
"Yeah, Baby!...I got this
Muscle
from just...
Water, Fruits, and Vegetables!
Meanwhile...Back At The Place Where
Sometimes...
...It's So Beautiful...
...That It Seems Like
Heaven,
Right Here On Earth!
Dental Hygiene Wars!
"Hi!...I'm the Bacterium
tyrannosaurus microsmallum,
and
I traded DNA Genes with a
'robobacterium blasthemup!'...
Now,
for the Next
Hygienist I see,
it's gonna be
'Real Curtains, Baby!"
"OMGosh!...
Is that the New Bacterial Species
coming over the
Marginal Ridge right now?...
The dreaded,
tyrannosaurus microsmallum?...
Sheeeeee!
I'm
'Calling for Back Up!"
"I'm here
all alone
in this Deep and
Dark Sulcus!...
Wait!...Is that
Something...
calling out My Name?...
I'm keeping
My Eyes Peeled...
and My Scaler,
'Super Ready!'"
"My Comrades!
I just
had a
'Big Scrap'
with a
tyrannosaurus microsmallum!...
...Please...I warn You!...
...Wear Double or Triple
Protection!"
"All I can say
about this
Person's
'Food-Filled, Dirty Mouth'...
...is...
...'So Many Gums And Teeth!...
...So Little Time!'"
This One
better not Break
...Like The Last One!"
"Hey, Wait!...You Guys!...
Do these Things We're After...
Shoot Back?"
"Hi, Ladies...I'm New
to The Team here!
Are there any Battle Pointers
that You can
Give Me?
"The only Thing that We
can say
is that
We Stick Together
All The Time!
And we have
Each other's Backs!...
Tell us...
Do You Know Your Way
around the Maxilla
and Mandible?'
"Sort of!
...I'm Fresh out
The
Hygiene Academy!"
"Well,
since you are New...
We suggest that for
Everyone's
Best Protection
in the Battlefield..."
"...It might be
Best to Stay
in a
'Tightly-Sandwiched Formation'
Between Us!"
"Well, if that's
what it takes...
I salute
"Yes, Sirs1...
...I mean...
Yes, Mams!"...
While you were Reading...
...I Prepared
for You a
Tasty
'Knuckle Souffle!'...Here!...
'Wassa Matta!'...Fist Got Your Tongue?"
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