I Love My New Smile and My New Bikini! Now Guys Are Following Me All Over The Beach! Part 2.

Not to be a party-pooper, your “hey, I just found these coves around the other side of the island that no one knows about, so let’s hide out over there this afternoon before dinner” smile, SHOWS THE HSR THE CLOSEST OF TWO COVES

ON THIS STRANGE ISLAND, AND WHILE YOU SAIL ON TO THE SECOND COVE TO CHILL OUT AND DRINK SOME COCONUT MILK OUT OF SOME FRESH COCONUTS, THE HSR, WHILE TRYING TO SET ANCHOR, MISTAKENLY DISRUPTS THE TOP OF THE MAST OF A BARELY SUNKEN SHIP IN THE FIRST COVE THAT NO ONE HAS NOTICED, AND SINCE HE HAS TWO SHIP MATES AND SCUBA GEAR FOR EVERYONE, THEY VENTURE UNDERWATER TO SEE WHAT MIGHT BE INSIDE OF THE SHIP, WHICH SEEMS LIKE IT IS AN OLD SPANISH SHIP LIKE THE PINTA AND SANTA MARIA, AND WHEN THEY SHOO THE SHARKS AND OTHER PESKY FISH AWAY, THEY OPEN ONE OF THE HATCHES AND SEE SOME PIRATE’S CLOTHING EERILY FLOATING OUT INTO THE OUTER WATERS, AND THEY QUICKLY DRAW STRAWS AS TO WHO GOES INTO THE SCARY PLACE FIRST, AND THE HSR ENDS UP GOING IN FIRST, AND WHAT HE SEES SURPRISES EVEN HIM—MULTIPLE SEVEN-FOOT HUMAN STATUTES MADE OF SOLID GOLD INGOTS, NATURAL SEA PEARLS AS BIG AS FISTS ON FOUR FOOT STRINGS—ABOUT FIFTY OF THOSE STRANDS ALL STREWN AROUND—AND ABOUT SIX LARGE CHESTS OF GIANT OLD GOLD COINS THAT GLITTER BRIGHTLY IN THE DARK ENVIRON, BUT, WHAT SURPRISES THE HSR THE MOST IS WHEN HE SEES A GIGANTIC OCTOPUS SITTING ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS PIRATE’S BOOTY, WHICH ALSO INCLUDES SKULLS AND SKELETONS, MIND YOU THAT THIS IS ONLY PART OF THE FIRST OF THREE FLOORS ON THE SHIP, AND THE OCTOPUS HAS A SAILOR’S HAT ON ITS HEAD LEANING TO THE SIDE A LITTLE, SORT OF LIKE THE ONE POPEYE WORE, AND ITS ARMS WAVE A LITTLE LIKE IT IS INVITING HIM IN, THE HSR SLOWLY BACKS OUT OF THE CABIN, AND TELLS HIS SHIPMATES THAT THERE IS NOTHING IN THERE AND TO GO TOP SIDE RIGHT AWAY…BUT WHY DOES THE HSR DO THAT?...THE ANSWER…STAY TUNED!...

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“Don’t try to get too much accomplished in one day: you might just get a headache!”

Quick background:  I just got my new teeth veneers finished, and I picked out a new two-piece aquamarine bikini at the mall, so I could stroll along a new beach I heard about…but I wasn’t quite expecting this to happen!...

An impromptu luxury table, chairs, and bubbly appear before my eyes while I am sashaying down the sands, and a handsome gentleman requests a short sit-down, just to chat with me by the water’s edge…

…Since there were four guys following me at a distance, who I can tell also have an interest in me, I think it might be safe to speak to this guy for a second, who seems to have “Millionaire” written all over him…

After he politely asks me to join him, I respond, “Just what do you mean by saying that I have the eyes of the secret seas?”

He suavely says, “Before I tell you the beautiful truth, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Nacio, and my friends call me Nana.”

I smile a little, knowing that I just got my veneers, and that I don’t want to show all of my natural looking dental work…just yet!

“My name is Aleece, and my friends call me...Aleece!” I try to joke.

“A sense of humor to go with your depth of cognition!…Nature has dealt you a rare hand,” Nacio evaluates. “I can tell right off that you are a rare nexus of raw primordial elements and refined sophistication, but there’s so much more, and it’s all murkily unknown…so far!”

“So, I have the eyes of the secret seas. What do you see deep inside of them, Nana” I inquire.

“Aleece, I am telling you the truth about this…and you must not take this the wrong way…your life is not destined to be only yours…for you are needed by this world to advance the depths and directions of our world thought!”

Nacio continues, “the secret seas I talk about need to be opened up, but this is a gradual process…you’re doing this opening up right now, as I can feel your…your… radiant field about you!”

“How do you know all of this about me and you just met me,” I question.

“I notice the big picture, and the big effects, and what comes from you, your spoken and written words and actions, I know, will have world consequences on how our most important paradigms are perceived…but this is the way it must be…if we are to be!…

“Aleece, I may, and probably must, never see you again, but you can always hear my voice…Just look out to the farthest part of the ocean, and ask yourself, “What must be?,” Nacio ends, “This has been a moment that I have been waiting for, for a very, very long time! I must now say “Good Bye!”

Nacio gets out of his chair, and gentlemanly helps me get up out of my chair.  With a smooth feminine motion, I nod my head with a slight smile, and say, “I hope to see you again, Mr. Nana!”

As I walk away, and veer to the reaching waters on the shore, I tell myself, “Wow,…he has raised more questions than answers!”

But then I ask myself, “Aren’t we always looking for the next question to answer?”

I walk a little farther along, and turn around, still noticing some of the same guys following me, but they are acting like they aren’t…and the table with Mr. Nacio is gone…

I turn my head back the way that I am walking…

…and just in front of me, I notice a hand, a human hand, sticking out of the sand…

The fingers are moving like they seem to be reaching out, like the person is still alive…

…so I…

TO BE CONTINUED…

May you have many…a banana split with extra everything on it, or a big salad with barbeque chicken, onions, and ranch dressing—can’t I have both?...One may get more looks while driving a vintage Cadillac, but one may get more phone numbers while driving a new Cadillac!...where do the fast-moving winds go to hang out after they slow down?…smiles!

Billions Of People Can Stop Snoring Tonight…With This One Simple Trick Of The Tongue!

NOT KNOWING THAT THE PRISTINE VIEW FROM MOUNT EVEREST WOULD BE SO AWESOME, LIBERATING, YET COLD, AND AT THE SAME TIME, BREATHTAKINGLY SOUL-STIRRING, THE HSR SPANS APPRECIATIVELY, WITH HIS SQUINTED EYES, AND WITH SNOW AND ICE INFILTRATING HIS SLIGHT BEARD AND MUSTACHE, THE WHOLE PEAKY HORIZON, WITH SNOW CAPPED MOUNTAIN AFTER SNOW-CAPPED MOUNTAIN, AS FAR AS THE EYES CAN SEE ALL AROUND, AND AFTER TAKING OFF HIS GOGGLES, WHICH ARE FROZEN TO THE POINT THAT THE LENSES LOOK LIKE THE BOTTOMS OF COKE BOTTLE GLASSES, HE SEES BETTER, AND HE LOOKS UP AND EXAMINES IN MORE DETAIL, THE REALLY CLOSE HEAVENS, WHICH ARE NOW LOCALLY INTIMATE ENOUGH TO LITERALLY REACH OUT AND TOUCH, AND HE DOES SO, but about 29,00 feet closer to sea level, on the other side of the world, on the Pacific coast of Southern California, on a warm and sunny beach, your “I was about to meditate, but I’m just too busy and chaotic right now” smile plops down one more time on the oversized bean bag beach chair after wading and splashing around in the warm inviting waters!

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“The older I get, the better I was!”

Here’s the gist of the Tongue Lift Anti-Snoring Methodology (TLAS Method), concocted last month by the author of this blog:

Oh, and by the way, snoring and snorting throughout the whole night, night after night, can cause major problems, and even shorten one’s lifespan!

1. While you sleep on your side with a firm pillow, lightly part the teeth and lips, and relax the muscles of the lips and whole face, neck, and shoulders.

                                                                

2) Raise the tip of the tongue to the area behind the front teeth, just like when you’re about to enunciate the letter “L.”

                                                                                                                                

3) Keep the relaxed tongue there, and the rest of the tongue should rise to the top of the palate, creating a seal.

4) With the mouth now blocked, inhale and exhale exclusively through the nose.

The soft palate in back will not flap around, and lessen the chances of the carotid blood vessels, and any other vulnerable tissues, from experiencing vibratory distress, and ultimately allowing you to achieve a healthier sleep!

If you cannot breathe easily through the nasal passages, because of some blockage, constriction, or other limitation or medical condition, then more involved strategies may be needed.

May you have many…the bedroom’s dark and quiet—just as it should be!...what do those big and beautiful birds of prey think about when they are soaring majestically high in the sky?...why does that person rudely continue talking when they see that I’m trying to interrupt!…smiles!

The Last Secret Baby Tooth! Part 7.

To protect your “sitting on the deck of your sail boat, being slowly and rhythmically rocked to sleep by the bay’s friendly little lapping waves in the early afternoon” smile, the HSR SAYS THAT IT SEES NOTHING, DOES NOTHING, AND REMEBERS NOTHING, JUST LIKE IT’S SUPPOSED TO, IN ANY OFFICIAL, HAND-ON-THE-BIBLE TESTIMONY REQUIRING US TO POINT ANY FALSELY-SNITCHING FINGERS, MAKE ANY UNFOUNDED AND CONCOCTED ACCUSATIONS, OR SPREAD MALICIOUS GOSSIP AND PERJURIOUS LIES, because the universe’s karma energy likes to stay in a finely-tuned balance!

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“All I can do is put up a fight…valiantly!”

Quick background: it’s amazing that the dentist hasn’t failed yet from fatigue, or hasn't been captured or killed by the many traps that lay in wait for him, so that other unseen forces can take the secret, very powerful, destiny-determining primary tooth away from him. But lucky for him he is closing in on the Altar to finally settle this matter!...or so we think!...

This huge, Loch Ness-looking monster, with uncountable rows of unfriendly teeth, and which was floating knocked out in the water, now seems to be waking back up, after having been hit by large falling rocks.

It shakes its head back to sharp consciousness, and then shakes the rest of its body vigorously to get back into full hunting mode.

The man-eating fish quickly dives down deep into the dark, frigid, and still growing waters to regain its instincts, and come back for you know who!

I point my sword up to levitate me above the waters to a safer position.

Now I’m almost to the altitude where the Altar is!...My mission is almost complete!

But my almost-celebration is cut very short, because when I look back down, the monster fish is leaping out of the water at me with great speed!

Its teeth viciously clamp together with a loud slam…but without me between them!

“Whew!” I say to myself as I masterfully sidestep the fish at the last split second.

But, now, to my surprise, instead of it falling and diving back into the water, it takes a second short lunge at me! Fortunately I was ready for it, and let the sword swiftly work its magic on the neck of this “murderous Pisces.”

Now the water level is even with the Altar…I’m there!

I float over to the table, but I notice the water rises hastily over the surface of the Altar!

That’s because the dead body of the Loch Ness fish is now blocking the water from spilling into the cave where I started out…with the bats…

Speeding to the middle of the large Altar, I grab the mortar and pestle, which are now under the higher-reaching waters.

I get the feeling that these waters just might also be part of the conspiracy against me.

So I dive into the water to get back to the level of the Altar, so I can place the mortar and crush the baby tooth as instructed.

But my sword, sensing danger from above, moves itself with my grasp to block a spear that is being thrown at me. It also perfectly blocks three more spears.

I look above to see who is up there trying to skewer me.

There are four bearded cavemen-looking creatures right in the area where the light holes for the three suns are located, at the top of the cavern and mountain.

I swim deeper into the water with the mortar, pestle, and baby tooth thinking, ”Maybe the rays of the three suns can penetrate the waters anyway.”

Soon reaching the right area of the Altar, I put the baby tooth, which is still on the pendant around my neck, into the mortar the best way I could. While I almost uncontrollably float in the current-filled water, I then raise the pestle above my head…

…to give the tooth a mightily pulverizing blow!...

…but…

…at that moment, a big rock thrown by the cave men above splashes heavily into the water, and hits me on the head…

I’m groggy of sorts…and I feel like I’m slowly slipping into unconsciousness…

…my weak hands lose strength as the mortar, pestle and trusty sword slip out of my finger grip…

TO BE CONTINUED…

May you have many…isn’t it a shame that a number of Presidential Suites in those tall, fancy-schmancy hotels sometimes sit empty with no tenants…sometimes I would like to hear what the 3,000 year old Giant Sequoia trees have to say about what they have seen and experienced…when I was younger, I’m glad that I had my Momma’s skirt to hide behind!…smiles!

Why Do The Other Run Way Models Hate My New Smile! Part 2.

The HSR, with the help of you and your “trusty side-kicking, sharp-eyed-editorializing, and no-mistake-proof-reading-skilled, always-ready-to-deliver-the-final-version-before-the-deadline” smile, SETS UP HIS HIGH-POWERED, BLUE RAY-SHIFTED, ANTIVIBRATION-ENABLED, MASALA-COLORED (COME ON, YOU KNOW THAT IT’S THE 2015 OFFICIAL COLOR CHOICE—GOTTA STAY CHIC-AZOID!), “SUPERSCOPE OF THE HEAVENS” TELESCOPE, WITH AN OPTIONAL 65-INCH VIEWING TABLET, AND HE IMMEDIATELY IS DRAWN INTO AN AREA OF THE SKY WHERE A LARGE ASTEROID IS HURTLING DIRECTLY TOWARD EARTH, BUT A CLOSE-BY EXOPLANET SEEMS TO SACRIFICE ITSELF AND SMACKS HEAD ON INTO THAT ASTEROID, THEREBY INSURING LIFE ON EARTH FOR ANOTHER 10,000,000 YEARS, THEN AFTER THAT, HE NOTICES TWO MEGAMONSTER-SIZED BLACK HOLES (EACH THE SIZE OF A BILLION MILKY WAY GALAXIES) ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE KNOWN AND MAPPED UNIVERSE, EATING THEIR WAYS TO THE MIDDLE, BUT DON’T WORRY, BECAUSE THOSE BLACK HOLES HAVE 65 TRILLION YEARS BEFORE THEY GOBBLE IT ALL AND FINALLY GET TO US (DON'T WORRY... WE'LL STILL HAVE FACT-CHECKERS AROUND AT THAT TIME, AND ALSO BY THEN, WE WOULD HAVE "SWITCHED" TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE!)!

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“Everyday, I try not to miss checking out the clouds above, that Nature puzzle-pieced together for me to gaze at with wonderment!”

Quick background: Ever since I my Dentist bestowed upon me a “take a second look at perfection” smile, I’ve been catching it from both sides…guys wanting to get closer to me, and aggressively so…and…girls and especially other runway models…who think I’m trying to muscle in on their territories, their men, and their print and commercial opportunities!...So, at this after party thrown by the fashion show designer, one chick attempts to splash red wine on my designer dress…but misses…and some other competitors, have in mind to rough me up in the bathroom…but…

Well, that girl and her model friends in the bathroom, acting like they wanted to teach me a lesson or two, came up to me and blurted out, “You just think you’re hot snot on a dinner plate!”

And I immediately shot back, “But you’re just a cold booger in a Dixie Cup!”

Treese, the name of the girl doing all of the talking, took off one of her high-heeled Louboutins and informed me that, “you’re so going to need 911 after I’m finished with you!”

I evened the odds, by taking off both my satin-finished stainless steel stilettos and knocking them together, making them produce a high pitched, almost glass-shattering vibration!

I now wave my arms in a couple of circles and end up in a very worthy, and dangerous-looking Kung Fu stance, with my heel points sticking out and ready to…!

Treese, who could wisely tell that I am a force that she does not want to reckon with, throws her shoe to the side, intentionally missing me…

Then someone opens and comes in the door…

It is the wife of today’s mega designer, Eddie Couture! Her name is Eden.

Eden, sensing the tension in the air, says, “ Girls! Calm it down! Don’t mess up my husband’s after party…if you do, I’ll make sure you never work in this town again!

Not ready to go into retirement yet, and not ready to risk losing those frequent checks with four zeros behind numbers coming in, I place my shoes back on, which immediately add seven inches to me. They’re from the "View From Up Here" high heels line!

Then I hurry out of the room, not looking sideways or speaking a word—no need to. I got my points across—when they feel like messing people over, try someone  else!

I need to see my agent early tomorrow morning, so I decide that I’ve had enough of the party, and I decide to vamoose.

I walk a long beeline to the door, and treat that march just like the rarest of runways and twist with each step like never before…

…resulting in my dress wildly whipping up back and forth in the wind, just the way that the designer purposed the garment to do.

Of course, everyone watches with all of their private emotions, I’m sure—some with amazement, others with lust, and still others with hate, envy, maybe a secret adoration toward me!

As I wait for a taxi in front, a number of extremely dapper, slicked-back-haired, European-model-and-playboy-type fellows gather around me with their rides just now showing up via the valets…

…each of them having something smart to say to me and offering up great challenges…yes…and willing to show me the around the world!…starting tonight!

…you know, they all promise that they can treat me to their opulent residences in the “Big Five” cities: London, Monaco, New York, Hong Kong, and Dubai…

…I tell them all, “I’ll think about it!”…

The only thing bigger than their economic appetites and their carbon footprints…are their egos!

…and back to the coming cars…

…you know the old scene, the new Phantom Drophead Coup’es, the Porsches, the Bugattis, and the Ferraris, immaculately sparkling and rolling up like it’s a cavalcade of the most freshly-minted and unattainable cars…

…however there is one guy I notice out the side of my eye over about twenty feet away…

…he looks different…

…but still well bred…

…My dentist told me about guys like him…

…and he looks like one…a dentrosexual…

They supposedly have metrosexuals beat…and in this case, by the look of things, I’ll have to agree!

…His Dentist, whoever he or she is, has clinically put this guy’s smile on bright blast!...

…like he has LCD teeth…

…he only shows small glimpses of his hot white teeth at a time…so people will stare and wait around hoping to see what more might look like…

…the kind of guy that I like to meet…

…so I leave the guys who are trying to convince me to drop my life and go with them (just because they run industries doesn’t mean that they can run me).

 And I head over to pass by, and maybe strike up a conversation with him…

I decide not to swing my body side to side too much, cause I can make it seem to twerk when I stroll, instead I just slowly mosey on over..

…not looking at him…I pass in front of him about five feet away…and he says nothing…

…so, I slowly and nonchalantly turn my full panoramic back and wait for another taxi…and him!

An excruciating and extremely long five seconds pass, and he takes two steps closer to me and says, “…”

TO BE CONTINUED…

May you have many…my friend said he made a million bucks sending snow from back east overnight to anywhere in the world, for a small price, plus shipping and handling!... you have prepared and sacrificed for a long time for this upcoming event, and now it's here, and you're ready to perform--now go out there and kick some major "A!"...I was sitting in my secret garden the other day and saw a majestic-looking bird land on a tree limb, and I looked at it, and it looked at me--that's right--a human-aviary stare fight!…smiles!