The HSR, with the help of you and your “trusty side-kicking,
sharp-eyed-editorializing, and no-mistake-proof-reading-skilled,
always-ready-to-deliver-the-final-version-before-the-deadline” smile, SETS UP
HIS HIGH-POWERED, BLUE RAY-SHIFTED, ANTIVIBRATION-ENABLED, MASALA-COLORED (COME
ON, YOU KNOW THAT IT’S THE 2015 OFFICIAL COLOR CHOICE—GOTTA STAY CHIC-AZOID!),
“SUPERSCOPE OF THE HEAVENS” TELESCOPE, WITH AN OPTIONAL 65-INCH VIEWING TABLET,
AND HE IMMEDIATELY IS DRAWN INTO AN AREA OF THE SKY WHERE A LARGE ASTEROID IS
HURTLING DIRECTLY TOWARD EARTH, BUT A CLOSE-BY EXOPLANET SEEMS TO SACRIFICE
ITSELF AND SMACKS HEAD ON INTO THAT ASTEROID, THEREBY INSURING LIFE ON EARTH
FOR ANOTHER 10,000,000 YEARS, THEN AFTER THAT, HE NOTICES TWO MEGAMONSTER-SIZED
BLACK HOLES (EACH THE SIZE OF A BILLION MILKY WAY GALAXIES) ON OPPOSITE SIDES
OF THE KNOWN AND MAPPED UNIVERSE, EATING THEIR WAYS TO THE MIDDLE, BUT DON’T WORRY, BECAUSE
THOSE BLACK HOLES HAVE 65 TRILLION YEARS BEFORE THEY GOBBLE IT ALL AND FINALLY
GET TO US (DON'T WORRY... WE'LL STILL HAVE FACT-CHECKERS AROUND AT THAT TIME, AND ALSO BY THEN, WE WOULD HAVE "SWITCHED" TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE!)!
“Everyday, I try not to miss checking out the clouds above,
that Nature puzzle-pieced together for me to gaze at with wonderment!”
Quick background: Ever
since I my Dentist bestowed upon me a “take a second look at perfection” smile,
I’ve been catching it from both sides…guys wanting to get closer to me, and
aggressively so…and…girls and especially other runway models…who think I’m
trying to muscle in on their territories, their men, and their print and
commercial opportunities!...So, at this after party thrown by the fashion show
designer, one chick attempts to splash red wine on my designer dress…but
misses…and some other competitors, have in mind to rough me up in the
bathroom…but…
Well, that girl and her model friends in the bathroom,
acting like they wanted to teach me a lesson or two, came up to me and blurted
out, “You just think you’re hot snot on a dinner plate!”
And I immediately shot back, “But you’re just a cold booger
in a Dixie Cup!”
Treese, the name of the girl doing all of the talking, took
off one of her high-heeled Louboutins and informed me that, “you’re so going to
need 911 after I’m finished with you!”
I evened the odds, by taking off both my satin-finished
stainless steel stilettos and knocking them together, making them produce a
high pitched, almost glass-shattering vibration!
I now wave my arms in a couple of circles and end up in a
very worthy, and dangerous-looking Kung Fu stance, with my heel points sticking
out and ready to…!
Treese, who could wisely tell that I am a force that she
does not want to reckon with, throws her shoe to the side, intentionally missing
me…
Then someone opens and comes in the door…
It is the wife of today’s mega designer, Eddie Couture! Her
name is Eden.
Eden, sensing the tension in the air, says, “ Girls! Calm it
down! Don’t mess up my husband’s after party…if you do, I’ll make sure you
never work in this town again!
Not ready to go into retirement yet, and not ready to risk
losing those frequent checks with four zeros behind numbers coming in, I place
my shoes back on, which immediately add seven inches to me. They’re from the "View From Up Here" high heels line!
Then I hurry out of the room, not looking sideways or
speaking a word—no need to. I got my points across—when they feel like messing
people over, try someone else!
I need to see my agent early tomorrow morning, so I decide
that I’ve had enough of the party, and I decide to vamoose.
I walk a long beeline to the door, and treat that march just
like the rarest of runways and twist with each step like never before…
…resulting in my dress wildly whipping up back and forth in
the wind, just the way that the designer purposed the garment to do.
Of course, everyone watches with all of their private
emotions, I’m sure—some with amazement, others with lust, and still others with
hate, envy, maybe a secret adoration toward me!
As I wait for a taxi in front, a number of extremely dapper,
slicked-back-haired, European-model-and-playboy-type fellows gather around me
with their rides just now showing up via the valets…
…each of them having something smart to say to me and
offering up great challenges…yes…and willing to show me the around the world!…starting
tonight!
…you know, they all promise that they can treat me to their opulent
residences in the “Big Five” cities: London, Monaco, New York, Hong Kong, and
Dubai…
…I tell them all, “I’ll think about it!”…
The only thing bigger than their economic appetites and
their carbon footprints…are their egos!
…and back to the coming cars…
…you know the old scene, the new Phantom Drophead Coup’es,
the Porsches, the Bugattis, and the Ferraris, immaculately sparkling and
rolling up like it’s a cavalcade of the most freshly-minted and unattainable
cars…
…however there is one guy I notice out the side of my eye
over about twenty feet away…
…he
looks different…
…but
still well bred…
…My dentist told me about guys like him…
…and he looks like one…a dentrosexual…
They supposedly have metrosexuals beat…and in this case, by
the look of things, I’ll have to agree!
…His Dentist, whoever he or she is, has clinically put this guy’s
smile on bright blast!...
…like he has LCD teeth…
…he only shows small glimpses of his hot white teeth at a
time…so people will stare and wait around hoping to see what more might look
like…
…the kind of guy that I like to meet…
…so I leave the guys who are trying to convince me to drop
my life and go with them (just because they run industries doesn’t mean that
they can run me).
And I head over to
pass by, and maybe strike up a conversation with him…
I decide not to swing my body side to side too much, cause I
can make it seem to twerk when I stroll, instead I just slowly mosey on over..
…not looking at him…I pass in front of him about five feet
away…and he says nothing…
…so, I slowly and nonchalantly turn my full panoramic back and wait for another taxi…and him!
An excruciating and extremely long five seconds pass, and he takes two steps
closer to me and says, “…”
TO BE CONTINUED…
May you have many…my friend said he made a million bucks
sending snow from back east overnight to anywhere in the world, for a small price, plus shipping and handling!... you have prepared and sacrificed for a long time for this upcoming event, and now it's here, and you're ready to perform--now go out there and kick some major "A!"...I was sitting in my secret garden the other day and saw a majestic-looking bird land on a tree limb, and I looked at it, and it looked at me--that's right--a human-aviary stare fight!…smiles!
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