IN THE GYM, WORKING OUT AEROBICALLY AND ANAEROBICALLY, THE
SKINNY YET COCK-SURE HSR IS STARING DOWN THE INTIMIDATING BARREL OF BENCH
PRESSING 300 POUNDS, AND HE READIES HIS GRIPS BY FEELING THE HEAVY BAR, AND HE
IS ADJUSTING HIS MIND SET PARAMETERS TO LIFT THIS NO-PLAY WEIGHT THREE TIMES,
AND HIS FEMALE SPOTTER, A SIX-FOOT SEVEN-INCH BODY BUILDER, WHO GOES BY THE
NAME BOTTY,
WHO IS BLESSED WITH MORE FEMININE MUSCLES THAN YOU CAN EVEN COUNT, AND CAN EVEN IMAGINE, URGES AND EGGS THE HSR ON BY REMARKING, “COME ON MR. R, YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE JUST A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT ARE MOST IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD TO YOU RIGHT NOW…ONE IS TO GET YOUR STUFF UP NOW AND RISE TO THE OCCASION BY PUNCHING IT ON THROUGH!”…AND AFTER A PREGNANT PAUSE…THE HSR ASKS, “AND WHAT IS THE OTHER THING?”…AND BOTTY SNIPES, “MR. R, IF YOU DON’T DO THIS AND STOP WASTING MY TIME, I’MA TAKE YOU ON THE MAT AND ARMBAR YOU!”…TO WHICH THE HSR REPLIES, “PROMISES, PROMISES!”…AND BOTTY REACHES DOWN WITH HER GLOVED HAND AND GENTLY SLAPS HSR ON BOTH SIDES OF HIS FACE AND PROMISES, “IF YOU DO THIS, AND I MEAN NOW…I’LL GIVE YOU SOME,”…AND THE HSR WIDENS HIS EYES AND ASKS, “SOME WHAT?”…AND SHE SAYS WITH A WINK, “SOME OF MY PINK CHERRY SMOOTHIE!” …AND NOW THE HSR QUITS PLAYING, AND IN A TRANCE, HE STARES AT THE CEILING, AND COMMENCES TO TAKE THE BAR OFF OF THE SUPPORTS, AND PUMPS OUT ONE WITH MINIMAL DIFFICULTY, THEN HE BRINGS THE WEIGHT DOWN TO START NUMBER TWO, AND HE MUSTERS UP ENOUGH STRENGTH TO PUSH IT UP AGAIN, AND BOTTY SAYS, “STOP PLAYIN’ AROUND AND GIMME MY LAST ONE!,” SO THE BAR GOES DOWN, AND THE HSR WILLS THE BAR ON ITS WAY UP, BUT ABOUT HALF WAY… BOTTY PLACES HER POINTING FINGER ON THE BAR TO MAKE THINGS A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT FOR THE HSR AND SAYS, “THIS IS FOR ALL THAT LOCKER ROOM TALK LAST WEEK YOU WERE DOING ABOUT ME!,” AND NOW THE HSR IS STRUGGLING, BUT IS ALMOST THERE…AND BOTTY SAYS, “YOU STAY RIGHT HERE, I'MA GET A SIP OF WATER! (JUST TO PLAY MIND GAMES WITH MR. R) AND SHE LEANS DOWN HARDER ON THE BAR…BUT THE HSR IS TWO INCHES FROM WINNING…AND WHAT DOES HE DO…HE REMEMBERS WHAT HIS ZEN TEACHER ONCE TOLD HIM—THAT "LIFE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A MEATBALL!"—SO HE SLINGS THE BAR THE REST OF THE WAY UP,
WITH BOUNCE, PLACES IT ON THE SUPPORTS, JUMPS UP, AND BLURTS OUT TO BOTTY, “I WANT MY SMOOTHIE AND MY ARM BAR, RIGHT NOW!”…AND BOTTY LAUGHS, “IN YOUR DREAMS, WAIT A MINUTE, NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS!”…aww man, that’s too cold…promising him stuff like that…but your “I have come to realize that we are all the same in body, but where we differ the most, is in the enlightening and actionable knowledge, or lack thereof, present between our ears!” smile, knows that sometimes Mr. R’s mind has to be coaxed, teased, and prodded into accomplishing the seemingly impossible, in glorious and wowing fashion!
WHO IS BLESSED WITH MORE FEMININE MUSCLES THAN YOU CAN EVEN COUNT, AND CAN EVEN IMAGINE, URGES AND EGGS THE HSR ON BY REMARKING, “COME ON MR. R, YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE JUST A COUPLE OF THINGS THAT ARE MOST IMPORTANT IN THE WORLD TO YOU RIGHT NOW…ONE IS TO GET YOUR STUFF UP NOW AND RISE TO THE OCCASION BY PUNCHING IT ON THROUGH!”…AND AFTER A PREGNANT PAUSE…THE HSR ASKS, “AND WHAT IS THE OTHER THING?”…AND BOTTY SNIPES, “MR. R, IF YOU DON’T DO THIS AND STOP WASTING MY TIME, I’MA TAKE YOU ON THE MAT AND ARMBAR YOU!”…TO WHICH THE HSR REPLIES, “PROMISES, PROMISES!”…AND BOTTY REACHES DOWN WITH HER GLOVED HAND AND GENTLY SLAPS HSR ON BOTH SIDES OF HIS FACE AND PROMISES, “IF YOU DO THIS, AND I MEAN NOW…I’LL GIVE YOU SOME,”…AND THE HSR WIDENS HIS EYES AND ASKS, “SOME WHAT?”…AND SHE SAYS WITH A WINK, “SOME OF MY PINK CHERRY SMOOTHIE!” …AND NOW THE HSR QUITS PLAYING, AND IN A TRANCE, HE STARES AT THE CEILING, AND COMMENCES TO TAKE THE BAR OFF OF THE SUPPORTS, AND PUMPS OUT ONE WITH MINIMAL DIFFICULTY, THEN HE BRINGS THE WEIGHT DOWN TO START NUMBER TWO, AND HE MUSTERS UP ENOUGH STRENGTH TO PUSH IT UP AGAIN, AND BOTTY SAYS, “STOP PLAYIN’ AROUND AND GIMME MY LAST ONE!,” SO THE BAR GOES DOWN, AND THE HSR WILLS THE BAR ON ITS WAY UP, BUT ABOUT HALF WAY… BOTTY PLACES HER POINTING FINGER ON THE BAR TO MAKE THINGS A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT FOR THE HSR AND SAYS, “THIS IS FOR ALL THAT LOCKER ROOM TALK LAST WEEK YOU WERE DOING ABOUT ME!,” AND NOW THE HSR IS STRUGGLING, BUT IS ALMOST THERE…AND BOTTY SAYS, “YOU STAY RIGHT HERE, I'MA GET A SIP OF WATER! (JUST TO PLAY MIND GAMES WITH MR. R) AND SHE LEANS DOWN HARDER ON THE BAR…BUT THE HSR IS TWO INCHES FROM WINNING…AND WHAT DOES HE DO…HE REMEMBERS WHAT HIS ZEN TEACHER ONCE TOLD HIM—THAT "LIFE AIN’T NOTHING BUT A MEATBALL!"—SO HE SLINGS THE BAR THE REST OF THE WAY UP,
WITH BOUNCE, PLACES IT ON THE SUPPORTS, JUMPS UP, AND BLURTS OUT TO BOTTY, “I WANT MY SMOOTHIE AND MY ARM BAR, RIGHT NOW!”…AND BOTTY LAUGHS, “IN YOUR DREAMS, WAIT A MINUTE, NOT EVEN IN YOUR DREAMS!”…aww man, that’s too cold…promising him stuff like that…but your “I have come to realize that we are all the same in body, but where we differ the most, is in the enlightening and actionable knowledge, or lack thereof, present between our ears!” smile, knows that sometimes Mr. R’s mind has to be coaxed, teased, and prodded into accomplishing the seemingly impossible, in glorious and wowing fashion!
“Expect the unexpected, but don’t expect the statistically
improbable!”
Heaven knows that it’s hard enough to make time to floss,
brush, and rinse in this busy workaday world, but some how we manage…because it
is important to us!
Having and showing a clean and presentable smile is an
important part of our ego support system that we depend on throughout our lives…we
don’t want to be caught slipping and lacking in the front teeth, lips, and eyes
areas…famously known as the “Aesthetic Quadrilateral Zone!”
So, we do our needed maintenance, frequently and
appropriately, to “top up” our faces!”
But just like we have the three dimensions topped off with
the 4th dimensional cherry called “time,”…
…we also should display our at-least-halfway-descent social
countenances concomitantly with, our hopefully admirable social graces…
…and obligingly don’t get into everybody’s personal and
private businesses, affairs, and problems, and don’t make fun and gossip about
others behind their backs or in front of their faces…
…because…
…if you stick your neck out and do that (and your momma
tried to raise you better than that!) …
…you might not like the Big Boomeranging Karma that will
invariable meet up with you, and, believe me, or just ask others, it will
spring on you all of a sudden, or even at a later time…
and unevenly settle the score…
…just ask this person:
Exhibit A:
And remember…like the elderly guy in the neighborhood always
says, “A truly peaceful person doesn’t go around…gettin’ smacked!”
So floss, brush, and rinse a lot…and if we have to…let us bite our tongues...to not start any stuff, to not get hit in the mouth, and to not lose any teeth!
May you have many…I have come to this conclusion: in some
cases, youth really is wasted on the young—but we all deserve a chance to
“finally come around,” (no matter how long it takes?)…that’s it! Run to that
shady bench in the park! And with closed eyes and deep breaths, utilize all of
your senses to recognize all of the constituents that Local Mother Nature
serves upon your wide and accommodating plate of Life, just for you!...our
lives are really our symphonies of our actions—so go ahead and greedily snatch back
that orchestral baton—and start conducting ourselves into a worthy and
astounding masterpiece!…smiles!
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