...are tears of
My Electrocuting Love and Blossoming Joy!"
"Come on in...
...the Water's Fine!"
"Go ahead, HSR...
jump on in!"
"Sir Report!...
I'm glad that you
Love My Earrings and Necklace,
but,
no,
you cannot have them!"
"Dr. Report!
I always enjoy looking up to you!...
...especially when I'm laying back
in the Dental Chair!"
"Yes!...
I'm ready to
"Tip Toe Through the Tulips"
in your Garden!"
"I just got My Smile fixed!...
Now I have the Security
that My Teeth
do all that I need them to do!...
And They'll look good
while doing it!"
"Hey, come on in, My Friend!
"Good Day, Holly!
"You say that you're gonna
"Sop Me Up"
like
I'm some Hot Gravy and
Ha!
You must be Hungry!"
"Welcome, Dr. Report!...
to my Party!
And there re plenty of
XOXOs to go around!"
"Hey, You Reader!...
My...you're just Waltzing on in here
like you have
some
"Ownership Interest In The Place!"
Which is Cool...My Blog is Your Blog!
That way, there are No Complications!
Well, I'm "Head of the Steering Committee"
and the Driving Force"
behind Today's Lesson!"
Ladies!...
Now you can leave a Text,
or Call, or
just Show Up
and tell everyone
why HSR's Love is
"Just What The Doctor Ordered!"
Hi there,
and thank you,
Miss Driving And Steering on the Road!"
"Dr. Report!...
I called your Dental Office and requested
an appointment
so that
you
don't have to Rush!"
"Thank you,
Miss,
for the chance to
Testify
about my
Favorite Hunk!"
"HSR...
I think that I am finally
understanding why,
everytime that I see you
my
I Smile so much!"
"The Corporate Board Meeting is
about to convene right now!
And as Chairman, Dr. Report,
I just love the
way you
"Bang The Gavel!"
I must ask...
...is "Bangin' It" your Favorite Part?"
"My Lady Friend...I think that
it is
his favorite part!...
because
everytime he gets a chance to
"Bang It," he does!"
...no matter where, no matter when...
It's like he wants to be a Judge!"
"Okay, People...
Let's move on!"
"Hollywood...
Let's play
"Opposite Day" today!
so,
when I say 'Go!'
...I really mean..."
"HSR...
Hello!
You Hungry?
I do like to see
Eat Your Food!"
"Mmmm...
There's nothing to do!
"OMG! That's Hollywood at the door!
"OMGosh!...
There's so much to do!"
Now,
you and your
'when I'm really tired, I don't feel like doing anything!
Smiles
are
just cooling it!
This "Cutting-Edge Episode" is spit and thrown at you
by the "King Daddy" of Gangsta Rap, Easy-E
with every Rhyme and Line...Comin'
Straight At Cha!"
"Sir "Whoeveryouare!"...
This is a rough part
of town,
so,
I Hope You Can "Hang!""
Hollywood really likes his pair of
Alligator shoes!...
So,
one summer, he decides to...
get to know alligators
...better!
And he's seen shows on the TV
that make it seem easy!
But HSR is well aware that the teeth and
the bites are
no laughing matter!
He even has a cat that
"ain't even scared!"
But he also has heard that
they can surprise you!
and don't give them an inch,
because they will
take a mile...or an arm!
Okay, HSR...
don't get too close!...
We're warning you!
See, I told you!
but,
you don't listen!
And don't go punching a gator
in the
snout!
...
And why you trying to give your dog a
heart attack?"
That's not nice!...
And the adventures that HSR is
gonna go through
just might not
be that nice!...and...
the heart muscle
will get stressed
because
things haven't worked out for him,
and,
they are guaranteed to
do more of the same!...
like,
take last time,
for instance, in
Dentists "Nee Day Tee Ficxt-ted, Tuu!"
and before that,
WHERE
HSR BEGINS
A SUPPOSEDLY FUN
AND PEACEFUL
HOT-AIR-BALLON JOURNEY,
STARTING FROM HIS OLD COLLEGE
ON THE BEACH,
WHICH IS NOW CALLED
POINT LOMA UNIVERSITY
IN SAN DIEEGO, CALIFORNIA,
AND AFTER
PUMPING UP THE
HOT AIR,
HIS "RIDE" RISES AND
TAKES OFF!...
HIP HIP HOORAY!...
AND HE AND THE BALLON
JUST SLOWLY MEANDER NORTH,
UP THE PACIFIC COAST,
PASSING DIFFERENT CITIES
AND HE,
BY CHANCE MEETING,
GIVES SOME
GOURMET
COOKING SISTERS
A "LYFT,"
OH,
AND THEY BROUGHT THEIR
PRETTY
LITTLE
DOGGIES ALONG,
BUT LATER ON,
AFTER LANDING FOR A NIGHT...
HE AND HIS RIDE ARE
HIJACKED BY A
BEAUTIFUL AND CUNNING
FEMALE SPY
WHO ORDERS HIM TO
"FLY OVER THE OCEAN RIGHT ABOUT
HERE!...
THEN,
SHE LEAVES HIM
A BIG BAG FULL OF MONEY
AND TELLS HIM THAT
SHE WILL FIND HIM LATER...
THEN
SHE PLANTS
A PROLONGED
"CZECHOSLOVAKIAN SMOOCH"
WHICH
"SENDS HSR OUT OF HIS MIND!"...
AND THEN
SHE JUMPS
INTO THE OCEAN TO ESCAPE
IN A CLANDESTINE
SUBMARINE!...
BUT,
HSR CONTINUES HIS JOURNEY
UP THE COAST
AND FINALLY HE
REACHES UP TO,
AND LANDS AT,
THE WORLD FAMOUS
VENICE BEACH
WITH ALL THE BABES
AND THE SURF AND
THE SAND
AND THE CRAZY
SIDE
SHOWS
AND SPECTACULAR FEATS
OF STRENGTH
AND
WONDERFUL
AESTHETICS!
"HEY, MISTER, CAN YOU
GIVE ME A BALLON RIDE?"
SAYS THIS
PRETTY GIRL!
"I CAN'T RIGHT NOW...
I JUST LANDED!" SAYS HSR...
"OKAY," SHE LAUGHS
AS SHE
CONTINUES RUNNING ALONG...
NOW,
HSR SEES PEOPLE
PARTYING
AND DANCING
QUITE
FREELY!
OH YES...
AND, DID I SAY, MORE "BABES?"
AND, DID I SAY, MORE "BABES?"
SO,
HE WALKS AROUND SOME MORE
TO SEE THE SIGHTS...
OOOKAY...
BUT
THEN,
SOME PEOPLE
LOOK UP IN AMAZEMENT
AND HSR
LOOKS UP TOO,
AND
OH NO!..
IT'S HIS BALLOON THAT'S
ON FIRE!
AND THE WRECKED BALLOON
DIVES HELPLESSLY
INTO THE OCEAN!
"OH, MAN," HSR CRIES,
"I'M GLAD THAT I
AT LEAST HAVE
THIS BAG OF MONEY...
I'VE GOT TO GO TO A STORE
AND CHANGE THIS WOMAN'S BAG
AND GET ONE FOR A MAN!
BUT ON HIS WAY, A PASSES ONE FINE LADY
AND ANOTHER ONE
ASKS HIM,
"HI THERE, SIR...
I NEED A LARGER PURSE...
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRADE?"
AND HSR SMILES AND THINKS
"H _ _ _, NO!"
BUT REALLY SAYS,
"NOT RIGHT NOW...
...BUT THANKS!"
AND THE WOMAN SAYS BACK,
"YOU'RE CLUTCHING IT LIKE
THERE'S A MILLION BUCKS
IN THERE...CAN I SEE?"
AND,
HSR JUST STARTS WALKING FASTER!...AND
EVEN
GOING HIGH SPEED!
AND HE HEADS
STRAIGHT TO A FIVE AND
DIME,
TO BUY A BACKPACK
AND A QUICK SNACK,
THEN,
HE THINKS ABOUT WHERE TO STAY,
"I'LL TRY A MOTEL AROUND HERE
TILL THE HEAT GETS LESS!"
SO,
HE'S WALKING DOWN THE STREET...
"YO, SIR... GET YOUR
TWO FOR ONE SPECIAL!...
WHILE IT LASTS!"
"THAT'S OKAY, LADIES!... NO TIME!"
AND ANOTHER ONE SAYS,
"HI BIG BOY...
DO YOU
HAVE SOMETHING FOR ME?"
"NOT RIGHT NOW, SISTER!" ANSWERS HSR...
THEN HE FINALLY MAKES IT OVER
TO A
"REPUTABLE
ESTABLISHMENT?"
AND HE GETS A ROOM AND ENTERS,
BUT,
WHILE THERE,
A PERSON KNOCKS ON THE DOOR...
OR RATHER...KNOCKS IN
THE DOOR,
BUT DOESN'T FIND ANYTHING,
SO,
HE DECIDES TO GET OUT OF THERE,
AND HE
HAILS A
TAXI...
THE DRIVER ASKS,
"HEY, WHERE YA HEADED...OUTTA TOWN?"
"YEAH," SAYS HSR,
"CAN I EVEN
TRUST THIS GUY?"
AND THEN
HSR SAYS,
"CAN YOU LET ME OFF AT THIS
MARKET!"
AND HE PAYS THE GUY
THEN WALKS OFF...
"I JUST DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT
WITH THAT CABBIE...
I'LL CALL A LYFT!" THINKS HSR...
SO, A CAR COMES BY AND
HE GETS IN
AND THIS LADY DRIVER BEAMS AND SAYS,
"I'LL GLADLY TAKE YOU
WHERE YOU NEED TO GO, SIR!"
"THANK YOU," SAYS HSR,
AS HE FEELS MUCH BETTER NOW...
"I NEED TO GO OVER TO A HOT AIR BALLOON SHOP...
DO YOU KNOW WHERE ONE IS?
"SURE, IT'S CLOSE...
...
"HERE'S YOUR BALLOON STORE...
HAVE A NICE DAY!" SAYS THE DRIVER...
"THANK YOU," SAYS HSR.
AND NOW,
HE GOES INTO THE STORE...
"HI THERE, SIR!...
PLEASE,
COME INTO OUR
BALLOON STORE...WE'RE HERE TO PLEASE!
"THANK YOU!" SAYS HSR AS HE WALKS IN, AND
BALLON ARE EVERYWHERE!
"PLEASE GO THROUGH
THAT DOOR AND SEE OUR MANAGER!,"
SAYS THE LADY...
"THANK YOU," HE REPLIES...
...
WE
HAVE THE BEST BALLOONS...ANYWHERE!
I MEAN WE'RE SO GOOD,
YOU CAN ALMOST FLY US TO THE MOON!..
HA HA!"
"THAT'S GOOD...I LIKE THE ENTHUSIASM!...BUT...
I JUST WANT A REGULAR HOT AIR VERSION!" EMPHASIZES HSR...
"HOW SOON DO YOU WANT IT, SIR, BECAUSE
WE HAVE ONE READY RIGHT NOW IF YOU LIKE!
WOULD THAT BE CASH OR CREDIT?"
"CASH, PLEASE," HE SAYS...
"COME BACK IN HALF AN HOUR...
AND, YES, SHE'S ALL YOURS...
...WITH THE NECESSARY
CERTIFICATES INCLUDED!" SHE SAYS...
"SEE YA SOON!" SAYS HSR..
...
SO HE WALKS OUT OF THE PLACE
FOR A SHORT STROLL, AND...
HE MEETS A PRETTY LADY
WHO TALKS TO HIM
AND SHE TELLS HSR,
"YOU HAVE ADVENTURE IN YOUR EYES!"
AND YOU HAVE A PURE HEART!
PLEASE BE CAEFUL ON YOUR JOURNEY!"
...
SO,
IN A HALF AN HOUR,
HE RETURNS
TO THE BALLOON MAKER
AND HE GETS HIS
NEW GEAR READY FOR FLIGHT...
AND
HIP HIP HOORAY!
HE'S AIRBORNE, AGAIN!
"DANG, IT FEELS SO GOOD
TO BE UP
WHERE I BELONG!...
I'LL MAKE IT TO MALIBU,
AND THEN
I'll TOUCH DOWN FOR THE NIGHT!"
...
SO, WHILE LAZILY DRIFTING
ALONG,
HE COUNTS UP THE CASH THAT
THE SPY LEFT HIM...
AND IT COMES TO...
WOW!
3.2
MILLION DOLLARS!
PLUS
SOME SMALL CHANGE!
"I GOTTA BE CAREFUL, BUDDY,"
HE SAYS TO HISSELF!
NOW HE PASSES BY,
AND GETS SOME GOOD VIEWS OF
SOME OF THE
MALIBU CELEBRITY
HOMES
THERE...
SO,
WITH THE SUN ABOUT TO SET,
HSR SCOPES OUT
A GOOD PLACE TO LAND...
AND HE HIDES THE STASH
IN A GOOD PLACE,
THEN HE PASSES PEOPLE
ON THE
BEACH,
AND THIS LADY
SAYS,
"YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING STRANGE?...WATCH!"...
"WHOA!" REMARKS HSR...
THEN, HE KEEPS WALKING,
AND A STRANGE LADY COMES
UP TO HIM AND
SAYS,
"I AM GOING SWIMMING
PAST THE SURF IN THE OCEAN...
...WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SWIM WITH ME?...PLEASE...COME ON!"
"MMM, I CAN'T DO THAT
RIGHT NOW, AND
HE KEEPS ON WALKING...
...
"HI THERE, SIR...
I CAN TELL THAT YOU'RE NOT FROM
AROUND HERE!
I'M OFFERING
YOU SOME SHELTER FOR THE NIGHT!
MY ROOMMATES ARE
ALL AWAY FOR NOW
AND,
I HAVE A NICE FIREPLACE!
MY PLACE IS RIGHT OVER THERE!...
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE"...
"OKAY," SAYS HSR...
SO THEY WALK ON OVER,
AND GO INSIDE,
THEN SHE SAYS,
"I'M GOING TO CHANGE CLOTHES"...
"SURE," SAYS HSR...
AND WHEN SHE RETURNS,
SHE SAYS,
"I REALLY LIKE IT HERE!...
YOU KNOW...AMERICA!"
I'VE LIVED IN MANY PLACES..
UKRAINE, POLAND, RUSSIA, KOREA, KASMIR,
SRI LANKA, ARGENTINA, TURKMINISTAN,
AND OTHERS...
AND EVEN
INCHANTEDLANDIA,
BUT,
I'VE NEVER MET A PERSON LIKE YOU!
CAN YOU SHOW ME
WHAT AMERICANS LIKE TO DO?"
"BUT, OF COURSE!" WIDELY SMILES HSR!
"BUT FIRST,
I MUST!"...
"Reader...come here!...I'ma
Wet Chu Up!"
I was just walking down the street
one day
and I saw her...
And I could detect her
"Springy Fresh"
perfume!
But, "Wow!"
She turned around and I saw
her
"Beautiful 32!"
OMG!
And then I looked at her
but I was in a crowd
of people, so
she didn't see me!
This Pretty Lady reminds me of a girl in
High school, and
I really
had a "Crush" on her!
And she liked to
"Pop
Bubblegum!"
...
So,
I walk behind this Lady
a little,
not following too closely...
But,
in the middle of the block,
she turns around to me and
says,
"You...
following me, Dude?"
And,
I said,
"Yes, I am...
because...
...you are So Beautiful!
and your Smile is
just...just...
Perfect!"
And she returns,
"Why, thank you!
Hey, you're a Dentist, right?
...Cause I
saw you go into your office
down the street the other day!"
"Yes, I do Dentistry!
And I really like your hair!
I know that
you probably have
lots of fun with it,
and
you like to
play with it!"
"Yes, you're right!...
I just love it!" she smiles,
"and,
I also like to talk with
My Curly Locks!
But, anyways, Doc! I gotta be somewhere!" she says.
"I just wish that
that somewhere
could be with me!" I think,
Then I say, "See ya!"
...
But, wouldn't you know it?
I see her again the next day!
"What's up, Doc!.. Good
to see you!" she remarks,
Then she keeps on walking...
And yes... you know that she had to
show me her
"La Perfecta!"
I tell you,
every time I see her,
my body and I feel so excited, unrestrained, and alive!
...
And that night I had a dream ...
and she was the "Star of the Show!"
We were somewhere,
and
she said,
"My Dear Doctor!...."
...
And then I was still dreaming and walking down a street
and I saw her
but no words were spoken...
...
Then,
we were up in the mountains
and she leaned in to get closer
but I woke up to turn over!...
...Shucks!
...
Then,
back in My Dreams,
we were traveling in Europe!
And after that ,
I helped her with her Hair!
And she thanked me,
by saying,
"Come
with me, Sugar!"
but,
after that
the Dream, 'Goes Dark!'
...
So,
I get up the next day,
and I am just
walking along...
And, yes!...I see her...
She's coming this way!
OMGosh!
...
"Hi there, Doctor!," she says,
What are you
doing today?"
"Aww, I'm off today," I say.
"Would you like to go to lunch?" she asks.
"Sure!" I say quickly as I
realize that
I am enamored with her
"Golden Proportioned and
Orthodontically-Bragging Smile!"
So,
we go the a Nice and
Cozy Cafe!
And,
when we get there,
she says,
I'm going to be traveling for a couple
of days
and when I get back
I want to get
to know you better!"
...
Well,
I have yet to see her again,
but,
sometimes, I
still dream about her saying,
"I
Love You, Big Daddy!"
and stuff like,
"Let's make
Peace together!"
..
Geesh!...
My body and brain must
really like her
and her
'Smile Trap!'
"Of course, I know my way around
around the block!...
You ready to go around it?"
May you have many...
..."Sometimes I wish that I was born in the '70s
because they had the "Flower Child" people
and I love flowers so much!
Flowers remind me so much of
Mother Nature having her way!
Does Mother Nature have a Love?"...
..."I really like Dreams!
But,
sometimes I don't!
They can give me insights
and even
take me to the thresholds
of the Most Allowed and even
the Most Forbidden Pleasures!...
...or the Scariest, Weirdest, and Most Impossible Occurrences!
But,
I'll still take my Dreams...
the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,
because,
they are My Own,
Very Personal...
...BlockBuster Movies!"...
..."Why should I?...
...I don't even know you!
What?
You want me to call my friend
so she can recommend you?"...
in Your Dream?"...
...smiles!
"HSR!...
There's a huge party at my house tonight!
There's stuff to eat and drink
but come early,
because
you're the only one invited!"
"Hi there...
It's a little chilly!....
I'm putting on a Beanie!
They say that people can have a
longer and fuller life
just by being outside more!
But,
I don't know
how to ask you,
but,
If I set up a Tree House,
would you help me
Make a Nest?"
"Hi!"...
I'm new here...
and,
a little lost,
but,
you look like an Honest Person!...
Can you
"Show Me The Ropes!"
left after the Show, HSR!...
Let's go outside and play!"
"The "Biggest Smile In The World"
can be Yours!
I mean, when you're really happy
and in the middle
of a huge laugh,
like..."Ha Ha" times Infinity...
...you're momentarily
showing the
"Most Engaged Smile Possible!"
It's like the "Duchenne Smile" on steroids...
or rather...
the "Duchenne Smile" with the eyes closed
and the nose wrinkled!
Now,
the author of this Blog,
Dr. Ralph Winge,
put several names to this
"Phenomenon of Ultimate Facial Happiness!"...
...the Epitome Smile, the Infinismile,
and
The Winge Smile!"
"Be at your Happiest...
and do one today!"
"I Love you, Little Birdies...
As a Gift from HSR, when you fly away...
you either end up at his place,
or back to mine!
And when he leaves
he always flutters back
to me
for more!"
Meanwhile...Back at the Pad!...
Dr. Report!...
I'm so happy that you could
make it to my "Luncheon of the Spring Flowers!'
I have your Bouquet right here!"
"Why, Thank You, Lelithe!...
for inviting me!
You always make me feel like
I am the only one in the room!"
"Well, Thank you, HSR...
And later on, Handsome...
I want you to be
the only one in the Room!"
"Dr. Report!...
This luncheon is always
the place to be!
And after this is over,
I have a "Bright Idea!"
"Hey, Lolanita, Baby!...
...like they say,
"One Bright Idea Deserves Another!"
"Hollywood, you are one slippery Guy!
You do all of the Smooth Talking
and
show me how exciting it is
to be with you!...
...Are we still on for
tomorrow at 9?"
"Yes!...and I'll bring the
Slippery!"
It's so Magical being out here
in the Forest with you`
Everything is Primative
and Raw..
and I just Love the way you
'Act like a Tiger!
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