“Ha Ha Ha!...That Joke...Just...Split My Sides!...And With...This ‘Sincere’ Smile…And...My Closed Eyes...
...I’m ‘Winge Smiling’...All The Way!”...
On the Red Carpet...
...before there was
'Social Distancing,
there was
...'Attitude Distancing!'
"When I graduate from
Winge Institute for the Oral Sciences,
I'm going to buy some
Beachfront Property here!"
"That's it!...
Those guys across the way...
Have 'Telescoped' enough!...There!...
"I Dance to the Music...then...
...I Pay to the Piper!'
You and Your
‘if You help others and they Smile, that’s a
good thing’
Smiles
are
helping others Smile!
This
'Stop doing Your Face like that!...Now!'
Episode
is
brought to you by
a Dental Lab Technician!
Doctor Ralph Winge reveals,
"The Smile Continuum
starts at one end of the Spectrum,
where a smile is barely detectable,
with minimal Zygomatic muscle activity,
as seen with the Mona Lisa,
and continues on to the
Duchenne Smile,
which uses more of the Zygomaticus
and levator muscles,
raising the cheeks up, and with help
from the orbital parts of the orbicular oculi,
produces 'Crow's Feet,'
below and on the sides
of the eyes, and is associated with
'genuine happiness.'
Then,
we proceed to the most intense
end of the spectrum with the Winge Smile,
which adds the actions of
more mid-face muscles, including the nasalis,
procerus, and
corrigator supercilli--along with
the other signature move of the
Winge Smile--the closed
eyes.
However,
since negative and positive psychological circumstances
can precipitate this muscular motion , some Behavioral Scientists may label
the Winge Smile as a Non-specific Reflexive Reaction.
When taken in context, though,
it's the 'Happiest Smile known to Science!'"
Now, let's see some notable People
engaged in a Winge Smile:
President Joseph Biden,
and
Vice-President
Kamala Harris,
Steve Harvey,
Lady Ga Ga,
Snoop Dog,
Beyonce,
Deasung,
Willow Smith
T.I.,
Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock,
Kevin Hart,
Chrissy Teigen,
Alec Baldwin,
Rhianna,
Nicki,
Shaq,
Hillary Duff,
Rosie Huntington Wheatley,
Lebron James,
Hillary Clinton,
Bill Clinton,
And,,,Wow!...
Michelle and Barack Obama!
...OMGosh!...How can one...
...'Top that?'
...Oh...I know...
...Yeah!
Love Toothbrush®
“Go ahead and
Winge Smile,
and
hopefully...it won’t be
Your Last!”
Sometimes, to avoid Confrontation,
it’s better to just...
…Smile and Leave!
Great advice! That way,
one may live to see
another Day! And another!
Hear that? ...Our Protagonist, HSR?...
Shucks, that Boy
is looking the other way now!...
Well, we saw what happened to him
in,
and
displayed before that,
and
Chronologically,
before that,
and one tick
before that,
in
and that was
WHERE
HSR
CEREMONIOUSLY INITIATES
A VERY MEMORABLE ADVENTURE
STARTING AT HIS
ALMA MATER IN
SAN DIEGO,
POINT LOMA
UNIVERSITY!
AKA THE
CALIFORNIA WESTERN UNIVERSITY CAMPUS...
...OF THE
UNITED STATES INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY,
WHERE THE SUNSETS
ARE
LUSCIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL!
AND THERE'S PLENTY OF
OUTER PLACES
TO SEEK
INNER PEACE
AND UNDERSTANDING!
AND, PLUS...
THEY GOT THE
BABES!
SO,
AFTER FILLING UP THE
HUGE BALLON
WITH HOT AIR,
IT'S UP
UP, AND AWAY!
HIP HIP HOORAY!...
AND,
HE AND THE BALLON
MEANDER NORTH,
UP THE PACIFIC COAST,
PASSING BY A PARADE
OF DIFFERENT MUNICIPALITIES!...
AND HE MAKES
SEVERAL
CHANCE MEETINGS,
INCLUDING ONE WITH
SOME
COOKING SISTERS...
AND THEIR
SIMPLY ADORABLE
PET
POOCHES!....
BUT
AFTER LANDING
FOR A NIGHT...
HE AND HIS RIDE ARE
COMMANDEERED BY A
BEAUTIFUL
AND CUNNING
LADY SPY
WHO ORDERS HIM TO
"FLY OVER THE OCEAN RIGHT ABOUT
HERE!"...
THEN,
SHE LEAVES HIM
A BIG BAG FULL OF MONEY
AND TELLS HIM THAT
SHE WILL FIND HIM LATER...
THEN,
SHE LOVINGLY
OFFERS HSR
AN AROUSING KISS,
THE WAY THAT THE
CZECHOSLOVAKIANS
DO IT!...AND
BLOWS HIS MIND!..
THEN.,
SHE JUMPS
INTO THE OCEAN
TO ESCAPE
IN A
SECRET SUB
BUT, NOW,
HSR
CONTINUES HIS JOURNEY
UP THE COAST
AND FINALLY HE
REACHES UP TO,
AND
LANDS
AT,
THE WORLD FAMOUS
VENICE BEACH
WHERE MANY
MYSTERIOUS THINGS
HAPPEN
QUITE
FREQUENTLY!
MANY PEOPLE
ARE OUT HAVING
A GOOD TIME
AND THERE'S
GOOD FOOD...
AND FRIENDLY PEOPLE
HAVING GREAT
TIMES...
AND SOME ARE JUST
WALKING ALONG...
...AND...
SURFING
AND
BATHING
AROUND...
OH YES...
AND THERE'S
MUSCLE BEACH WITH THE
UNUSUAL
FEATS
OF STRENGTH!
YES!...
THE MINDS AND BODIES
ARE FLYING FREELY
AND
THERE'S THE "STRONG
AND THE
BEAUTIFUL!
BUT AS HSR IS TAKING IN
THE
'BAYWATCH'
SCENERY,
AND WHILE SEEING SOME
PEOPLE ON THE
FRINGE,
HE SEES
SOME PEOPLE
LOOKING UP IN AMAZEMENT
AND HSR
LOOKS UP TOO,
AND
OH NO!..
IT'S HIS BALLOON
THAT'S
ON FIRE!
SOMEBODY JACKED
HIS "BOWL-LOON!"
AND THE WRECKED BALLOON
DIVES HELPLESSLY
INTO THE WATER!
"OH, MAN," HSR CRIES,
"I'M GLAD THAT I
AT LEAST HAVE
THIS BAG OF MONEY...
I'VE GOT TO GO TO A STORE
AND CHANGE THIS WOMAN'S BAG
AND GET ONE FOR A MAN!
AND ON HIS WAY,
HE PASSES ONE FINE LADY
AND ANOTHER ONE
ASKS HIM,
"HI THERE, SIR...
I NEED A LARGER PURSE...
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRADE?"
AND HSR
SMILES
BUT THINKS
"H _ _ _, NO!"
BUT REALLY SAYS,
"NOT RIGHT NOW...
...BUT THANKS!"
AND THE WOMAN SAYS BACK,
"YOU'RE CLUTCHING IT LIKE
THERE'S A MILLION BUCKS
IN THERE...CAN I SEE?"
AND,
HSR JUST STARTS WALKING FASTER!...AND
EVEN
GOING HIGH SPEED!
AND HE HEADS
STRAIGHT TO A FIVE AND
DIME,
TO BUY A BACKPACK
AND A QUICK SNACK,
THEN,
HE THINKS ABOUT WHERE TO STAY,
"I'LL TRY A MOTEL AROUND HERE
TILL THE HEAT GETS LESS!"
SO,
AS
HE'S WALKING DOWN THE STREET...
"YO, SIR... GET YOUR
FREE SAMPLE!" SAYS
THIS LADY...
AND ANOTHER ONE
ASKS,
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU...
...WANNA SEE?"
"NOT RIGHT NOW," SAYS HSR...
"YO, BIG BOY...FREE SMOKES,"
"THAT'S OKAY, BUT THANKS!" SAYS HSR...
SO HE FINALLY MAKES IT OVER
TO A PLACE TO STAY!
AND HE BUYS A ROOM,
BUT,
WHILE THERE,
A PERSON KNOCKS ON THE DOOR...
OR RATHER...KNOCKS
IN
THE DOOR,
BUT THE INTRUDER
DOESN'T FIND ANYTHING,
SO,
THE INTRUDER LEAVES,
AND NOW,
HSR DECIDES TO GET OUT OF THERE, TOO...
AND,
AFTER RETRIEVING
THE LOOT...
...HE
HAILS A
TAXI...
AND ONE FINALLY PICKS HIM UP, AND
THE DRIVER ASKS,
"HEY, WHERE YA HEADED...OUTTA TOWN?"
"YEAH," SAYS HSR,
BUT THEN HSR THINKS,
"CAN I EVEN
TRUST THIS GUY?"
AND THEN
HSR SAYS,
"CAN YOU LET ME OFF AT THIS
MARKET!"
AND HE PAYS THE GUY
THEN WALKS OFF...
"I JUST DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT
WITH THAT CABBIE...
I'LL CALL AN UBER!,"
THINKS HSR...
SO, A CAR COMES BY AND
HE GETS IN
AND THIS LADY DRIVER
BEAMS AND SAYS,
"I'LL GLADLY TAKE YOU
WHERE YOU NEED TO GO, SIR!"
"THANK YOU,"
SAYS HSR,
AS HE
FEELS MUCH BETTER NOW...
"I NEED
A HOT AIR
BALLOON SHOP...
DO YOU KNOW WHERE ONE IS?
"SURE, I DO...IT'S CLOSE...
...
"HERE'S YOUR BALLOON STORE...
HAVE A NICE DAY!"
SAYS THE DRIVER...
"THANK YOU," SAYS HSR.
AND NOW,
HE GOES INTO THE STORE...
"HI THERE, SIR!...GOOD
TO SEE YOU TODAY!
WE
HAVE THE BEST BALLOONS...
...ANYWHERE!
"HOW SOON
DO YOU WANT IT,
SIR, BECAUSE
WE HAVE ONE READY
RIGHT NOW IF YOU LIKE!
WOULD THAT BE
CASH OR CREDIT?"
"ALL CASH, PLEASE,"
HE SAYS...
"COME BACK IN
HALF AN HOUR...
AND, YES, SHE'S ALL YOURS...
...WITH THE NECESSARY
CERTIFICATES INCLUDED!"
SHE SAYS...
"SEE YA SOON!" SAYS HSR..
...
SO
HE WALKS OUT OF THE PLACE
FOR A SHORT STROLL, AND...
HE MEETS A PRETTY LADY
WHO TALKS TO HIM
AND SHE TELLS HSR,
"YOU HAVE
ADVENTURE IN YOUR EYES!"
AND YOU HAVE A PURE HEART!
PLEASE BE CAREFUL ON YOUR JOURNEY!"
...
SO,
IN A HALF AN HOUR,
HE RETURNS
TO THE BALLOON MAKER
AND HE GETS HIS
NEW GEAR READY FOR FLIGHT...
AND...
HIP HIP HOORAY!...
HE'S AIRBORNE, AGAIN!
"DANG, IT FEELS SO GOOD
TO BE UP
WHERE I BELONG!...
I'LL MAKE IT TO MALIBU,
AND THEN
I'll TOUCH DOWN FOR THE NIGHT!"
SMILES HSR!
...
SO, WHILE LAZILY DRIFTING
ALONG,
HE COUNTS UP THE CASH THAT
THE SPY LEFT HIM...
AND IT COMES TO...
WOW!
4.2
MILLION DOLLARS!
PLUS
SOME SMALL CHANGE!
"I GOTTA BE CAREFUL, BUDDY,"
HE SAYS TO HISSELF!
NOW
HE PASSES BY,
AND GETS SOME GOOD VIEWS OF
SOME OF THE
MALIBU CELEBRITY
HOMES
THERE...
SO,
WITH THE SUN ABOUT TO SET,
HSR SCOPES OUT
A GOOD PLACE TO LAND...
AND HE HIDES THE STASH
IN A GOOD PLACE,
THEN
HE PASSES PEOPLE
ON THE
BEACH,
AND THIS LADY
SAYS,
"YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING STRANGE?...WATCH!"...
"WHOA!" REMARKS HSR...
THEN,
HE KEEPS WALKING,
AND A STRANGE LADY COMES
UP TO HIM AND
SAYS,
"I AM GOING SWIMMING
PAST THE SURF IN THE OCEAN...
...WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SWIM WITH ME?...PLEASE...
...COME ON!"
"MMM," ADMITS HSR, "I CAN'T DO THAT
RIGHT NOW," AND
HE KEEPS ON WALKING...
...
"HI THERE, SIR...
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ARTISTIC TYPE...
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY ETCHINGS?...
...MY ROOMMATES ARE
ALL AWAY FOR NOW
AND,
I HAVE A NICE FIREPLACE!
...
MY PLACE IS RIGHT OVER THERE!...
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE"...
"OKAY," SAYS HSR...
"AND, I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU SOME OF MY ETCHINGS!"
SO THEY WALK ON OVER,
AND GO INSIDE,
AND HE SEES
SOME ETCHINGS!
THEN SHE SAYS,
"I'M GOING TO GET SOMETHING"...
"SURE," SAYS HSR...
AND WHEN SHE RETURNS,
SHE SAYS,
"I REALLY LIKE IT HERE!...
YOU KNOW...AMERICA!"
I'VE LIVED IN MANY PLACES..
UKRAINE, POLAND, RUSSIA, KOREA, KASMIR,
SRI LANKA, ARGENTINA, TURKMINISTAN,
AND OTHERS...
AND EVEN
INCHANTEDLANDIA,
BUT,
I'VE NEVER MET A PERSON LIKE YOU!
CAN YOU SHOW ME
WHAT SHOWS AMERICANS LIKE TO WATCH?"
"BUT, OF COURSE!" WIDELY SMILES HSR!
"BUT FIRST,
I MUST!"...
...
SO....THE NEXT MORNING..
HSR GETS UP
AND WITNESSES
THE BEAUTIFUL
SUNRISE...
AND,
AS SHE STILL SLEEPS,
HE WALKS A LITTLE
ON THE BEACH...
THEN HE GOES BACK
TO THE BEACH HOUSE,
AND SHE SAYS, "IT WOULD
BE GREAT IF YOU COULD
STAY THE
REST OF THE
WEEK!"...
"IT'S SO SWEET HERE, AND YOU ARE
AN EXTREMELY NICE
PERSON,
BUT,
I JUST HAVE TO
GO NORTH!"
"WELL, CAN YOU COME AND SEE
ME WHEN YOU COME
BACK SOUTH?...
...BECAUSE...
I LIKE YOU!" SHE SAYS...
"I'LL TRY!"
AND
THEY SPEND
TWO HOURS SAYING
GOOD BYE!
AND
WHEN HSR
FINALLY GETS OUT OF THERE
AND GETS HIS
'TRANSPORTATION'
UP IN THE AIR
AND THINGS ARE
JUST
"BLOWIN' IN THE
WIND!"
HEY!
...WHAT'S THIS!...
SOME OTHER BALLOONS SAIL
BY, AND HSR
SEES SOME OTHERS
OVER YONDER!
"THAT'S COOL"...
BUT,
AFTER A WHILE...
...AND...
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
THE WEATHER TURNS NOT
TOO
GOOD!
AND DARK CLOUDS ARE
HEADED THIS WAY!
ALONG WITH SOME LIGHTNING!
SO,
HSR IMMEDIATELY SCOUTS
FOR A GOOD LANDING SPOT!
..."HEY, THERE'S ONE!"
...
BUT...OMG!...THAT PRIME SPOT
IS A
A NATURALIST'S COLONY!
...WITH ALMOST EVERYTHING
...OPTIONAL!
BUT ,
HSR IS
STILL
FORCED TO LAND!
WHOA!
HOWEVER,
MOST OF THE PEOPLE
RUN TO THEIR CARS
FROM THE COMING
REALLY HEAVY RAINS
BUT
A NUMBER OF WOMEN STAY
AND HELP HSR PUT
THE HUGE BALLOON AWAY!
AND THEY TELL HSR,
"WE'RE STAYING IN
THE GONDOLA WITH YOU!"
...
OH BOY...
IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BE
A TIGHT,
RAINY, AND WINDY NIGHT!
...
SO,
AFTER SAYING
"BYE"
THE NEXT MORNING,
HE'S
SMELLING
THE 'SWEET SMELL OF
AERIAL FREEDOM,'
AS HE CONTINUES
NORTH
UP THE COAST,
HUGGING THE COASTLINE.
BUT
OVER
THE WATER...AND...
HE GETS SOME
RELAXING SHUT EYE,
AND WHEN HE
WAKES UP,
HE FINDS HIMSELF
ABOVE
BEAN HALLOW
STATE BEACH...
"I'VE HEARD OF THIS BEACH!"
HE REMEMBERS,
"THERE ARE
STRANGE FORMATIONS,
AND ROCKS,
AND
STRANGE FORMATIONS
WITH ROCKS!"
SO
HE NOW
DIRECTS THE
BALLON TO HOVER OVER
TO
A GOOD PLACE TO LAND...
AND AS HE PACKS UP
THE BALLON,
A LADY
PASSES BY...
"HI THERE,
HANDSOME,"
SHE SMILES AND KEEPS ON
WALKING...
THEN HE
WALKS BY A
'RETRO
RV!
NOW...
A WOMAN NEXT TO THE RV SAYS,
HELLO THERE!...
...DO YOU HAVE AN
UMBRELLA?...
A RAIN'S
GONAA HIT HERE
IN FIVE MINUTES!...
YOU WANT TO
BET?"
"RAIN IN 5 MINUTES?"
LET'S SEE THAT!"
...AND IN ABOUT
FIVE MINUTES...
...OMGOSH!...
IT REALLY...
...STARTS
TO COME DOWN!
NOW,
THEY GO INSIDE,
AND SHE DRAWS THE
CURTAINS SHUT AND
SAYS,
"I'M GOING TO
DRY OFF!"
NOW,
SHE COMES BACK AND
LIGHTS A CANDLE
AND SAYS, "THIS RAIN IS
FROM AN
'ATMOSPHERIC RIVER'
THAT'S GOING TO GIVE A
WHOLE WEEK
OF HARD PRECIPITATION!...
...FORTUNATELY,
I HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH
FOOD AND SUPPLIES FOR US!"
"WELL, I GUESS
I LANDED MY BALLOON AT
THE RIGHT PLACE
AND AT THE
RIGHT TIME!" ADMITS HSR...
NOW, SHE PUTS
NETFLIX ON HER BIG SCREEN
AND ASKS, "ARE THERE
ANY
SHOWS THAT
YOU'D LIKE TO WATCH?"
"SURE," SAYS HSR,
AS HE SCROLLS DOWN
THE CHOICES,
...AND...AS SHE
BLOWS OUT THE CANDLE!
...
WELL,
THE HEAVY RAINS
FROM
THE ATMOSPHERIC RIVER LASTS
EIGHT DAYS INSTEAD OF
A WEEK,
BUT...
WHEN HSR
FINALLY
LEAVES AND
GETS BACK UP IN THE
SKY,
WITH HIS PRECIOUS CARGO,
AND...
OMGOSH!..."WHAT A
'BOW," HE SAYS, "HEY, I THINK I'LL
GO BACK OVER
BY THE COAST."
SO,
WHEN HE GETS THERE
HE THINKS,
"MAN, I'M GLAD
THAT THERE'S
MORE ROOM
IN THIS
NEW GONDOLA!...
AND AFTER A WHILE
OF FLIGHT,
HE THINKS, " HEY, I DON'T
SEE THAT
ISLAND THERE
ON ANY MAPS!...
...BUT...
...IT
LOOKS LIKE
A NICE PLACE!"
AND WITH THAT,
HE SAILS ALONG
A LITTLE MORE...
"I'M
JUST GOING TO
LAY DOWN AND REST
MY EYES JUST
FOR A SECOND."
NOW,
EVERYTHING
SEEMS TO BE OKAY...AS HE
ENTERS INTO
HIS SLUMBER...
...EXCEPT THAT...
THE CLOUD PATTERNS ...
START TO
BECOME OMINOUS!
AND HE AND THE BALLOON
GET BLOWN
WAY OUT
OVER THE OPEN OCEAN!...
...AS EVERYTHING
GETS DARK!
NOW...SOMETHING
'SUPERNATURAL HAPPENS!...IT MUST BE
A
...'MESO-TORNADO!'
AND,
AS
HE ENTERS
THIS 'NEVERWHERE,'
ONE 'COMPETING
FORCE OF NATURE' SAYS,
"I FINALLY HAVE
A
HOMO CYBERGRAPHICUS,
IN MY GRASP!...I SHALL
USE HIM TO INCREASE MY
POWERS!...BALLON...I WHIP UP
THE WINDS TO
CARRY YOU TO ME!...
...NOW!"
AT THAT SAME TIME,
A COUNTER-BALANCING,
'COMPETING FORCE OF NATURE'
APPEARS AND
INTERRUPTS,
"YOU ARE NOT TO
DISTURB
THE PATH OF
PRESENT EVENTS LIKE THIS!"
NOW THE COMPETING FORCES...
START
TO
COMPETE!
HOWEVER,
A THIRD PARTY
IMMEDIATELY APPEARS,
AND THIS ONE
SAYS,
"I SHALL
PUT A PAUSE IN
BOTH OF THEIR POWERS,
BEFORE THEY
WRECK THE BALANCE!"
AND WITH THAT,
SHE SHOOTS AN ARROW
TO
BREAK APART
THE
'COMPETING FORCES'
RESPECTIVE ELECTROMAGNETIC CENTERS!
THEN...SHE ORDERS,
"WIND!...
...REVERSE THYSELF
AND
RETURN
OUR PRECIOUS SUBJECT
TO SAFETY!"
IMMEDIATELY,
THE WINDS BRING HSR
AND HIS
AERIAL BALLOON
CLOSE TO THE COAST AGAIN...
NOW,
HSR WAKES UP OUT OF
HIS SLEEP, AND THINKS,
"THAT WAS A STRANGE NAP!...
...OMGOSH!...AND
IT'S DARK!...
...I BETTER
LAND
RIGHT NOW!"
May you have many...
...Smiles!
...Flying Colors!
"Those Germs out-running me...
...ain't gonna happen 'No Mo!'"
"So,
You think that I
can only
take Small Bites at a Time?...
...Please...Let Me show you!"
This is First Day
of my Vacation
from The Winge Institute
...and...
...I Love It!"...
"Star Commander Report!...
I am here to
escort You to HQ!"
"What?...The Hygienists are
knocking on
the Walls of
Our Calculus Castle?...
And now, everything is Crumbling?...
...Where's that Back Door?"
The Winge Institute For The Oral Sciences
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