HE IS
ACTUALLY BEHAVING HIMSELF
AS A STUDENT AT
USC DENTAL SCHOOL, AND
THE CLINIC IS BUSY
AND
HUMMING ALONG, WITH
YOUNG DOCTORS
TREATING PATIENTS
EVERYWHERE, AND
DOCTOR HOLLYWOOD SMILES REPORT, AKA HSR,
IS FINISHING HIS PATIENT
AND
AFTER THE PATIENT LEAVES
AND THE AREA IS CLEANED UP,
ONE OF THE
ASSISTANTS SAYS.
"WELL, IT'S TIME FOR LUNCH NOW...
I'LL SEE YOU
IN AN HOUR!"
"OKAY," RESPONDS HSR...
WHO IS A LITTLE TIRED,
AND HE
DECIDES TO JUST LAY IN
THE DENTAL
CHAIR FOR A WHILE,
BUT...
ALMOST IMMEDIATELY,
AS SOON AS HIS HEAD
TOUCHES DOWN...
...HIS CONSCIOUS MIND
IS
'SWITCHED OFF!'
AND HE IS
NOW
AT THE
MERCY OF THE
'MYSTERIOUS
AND UNPREDICTABLE
DARK MATTER OF THE
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND!'
AND LATELY,
THAT 'SAME MIND'
HAS BEEN THROWING
'CRAZY CURVEBALLS'
HIS WAY!
BUT HE STARTS OUT,
THIS TIME, THINKING...
NOT JUST ABOUT
PRETTY SHIPS...
...BUT...
ABOUT...
...PIRATE
SHIPS!
THEN...
HIS DREAMY ATTENTION
GOES TO A
SPECIAL CASTLE
THAT HE HAS
NEVER
SEEN BEFORE
AND WHILE IN THERE
A WOMAN
SAYS TO HIM,
"FLEET COMMANDER REPORT,
THE AIR SHIP IS HERE
TO GIVE YOU A RIDE
TO THE PORT
FOR YOUR NEW SHIP!
AND...
...COME BACK AND
SEE ME
SOMETIME, OKAY!"
"OKAY," SAYS HSR...
SO,
AN AIRSHIP
PULLS UP NEXT TO THE
'CASTLE'
AND HE JUMPS IN
AND THEY FINALLY GET TO A
'SHIP SUPERMARKET
IN THE
SKY!'
AND...
AS
HE LOOKS AT
THE VARIOUS SHIPS, A
LADY SAILOR
COMES UP TO HIM
AND ASKS
HIM,
"HI THERE...SHALL I CALL YOU, 'CAPTAIN?'"
"HI THERE," RETURNS THE DOCTOR, "SURE,
YOU CAN CALL ME CAPTAIN, BUT...
I DON'T HAVE A SHIP YET!..."
AND THE LADY SAYS, " I CAN SHOW
YOU ONE THAT CAN DO
A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS,
BUT,
OTHER PEOPLE ARE
LOOKING AT IT TOO,
SO,
YOU
MAY HAVE TO ACT QUICKLY!"
SO THEY WALK
TO THE PLACE
THAT HAS THE
'SUPERIOR SHIP'...
...AND ...
"BOY...IS IT A BEAUTY!,"
SCREAMS HSR!
MEANWHILE,
ANOTHER SAILOR,
OFF TO THE SIDE,
WHO CAN'T TAKE
THE SHIP,
GIVES HSR
'THE EYE!'
SO, NOW...
CAPTAIN HSR
TAKES POSSESSION OF
THE SHIP,
AND HE ASKS THE LADY
IF SHE CAN
SAIL WITH HIM, AND
BE THE 'FIRST MATE!'...
AND SHE SAYS,
"SURE, BUT...
I'D LIKE TO BRING A COUPLE
OF OTHER FOLK TO
HELP YOU SAIL...
...AND...
I'D LIKE TO GET AN
'HONEST PERCENTAGE'
OF ANY GOLD AND
VALUABLES THAT WE FIND!"
"THAT ONLY SOUNDS FAIR!" SAY HSR.
AND
AFTER A LITTLE WHILE
THE SHIP AND CREW ARE
READY TO SET SAIL!
AND BOY...DO
THEY LOOK
GOOD!
AND THEY CUT
A NICE FIGURE
ABOVE THE
CLOUDS!
BUT...AS THEY LEAVE...
...AN
ADMIRER
SEEMS TO BE SAD THAT
HE IS GONE FOR NOW!...
SO,
AFTER THEY SET SAIL,
EVERYTHING'S GOING
ALONG PRETTY NICELY,
AND ADMIRAL HSR
IS ENJOYING A
NICE MEAL IN
HIS SHIP'S CABIN!
NOW,
THE SHIP'S COOK
TELLS THE CAPTAIN
THAT HE MISSES
HIS
'HOME TOWN,' AND THAT
ONE DAY,
HE WANTS HIS OWN
PIRATE
SHIP, TOO!
HOWEVER,
AFTER A WHILE,
A CREW MEMBER
SENSES THAT SOMETHING
IS UP!
NOW, SHE
ALERTS THE OTHER
CREW MEMBERS,
AND THEY SEE
AN ENEMY SHIP
ACROSS THE
WAY...
SO THEY...
GET
'READY...TO RUMBLE!'
AND
THEY GIVE IT
THEIR
'BEST SHOTS,'
AND EVENTUALLY
THE
ENEMY 'FLEES!!'
"CAPTAIN, ADMIRAL REPORT!"
SAYS THE
...NOW?"
"LET'S HEAD...
...DUE WEST...LIKE
'THE WILD WILD WEST!'"
AND THAT...
THEY DO...!
HOWEVER...
JUST BEFORE SUNSET
A CREW MATE RUNS UP TO
CAPTAIN REPORT
AND ALERTS HIM,
"CAPTAIN, THERE'S
A HOSTILE SHIP
APPROACHING
OFF THE
STARBOARD BOW!"
"OH THE _____ NO!" SCREAMS
THE CAPTAIN!...
BUT THE FIRST MATE SAYS,
"IVE FOUGHT THEM BEFORE
AND I KNOW THAT
THEY CAN BE BEATEN!...BUT STILL...
WE MUST BE VALIANT!"
SO, OF COURSE,
THERE IS A
'CLASHING OF THE CREWS'
AND
...
THAT SAME AFTERNOON,
HSR DOES SOME
CROWN WAX-UPS
AND CASTINGS OF COPINGS,
THEN
AFTER AN AFTERNOON OF
BUSINESS
HE HEADS TOWARD HOME
AND A DENTAL SCHOOL FRIEND
OFFERS HIM A RIDE,
AND SHE SAYS,
"HOW'S IT GOING,
MY HANDSOME CLASSMATE!"
AND HSR SAYS,
"EVERYTHING'S COOL...BUT..."
AND SHE ASKS, "BUT WHAT...TELL
ME!"
SO HSR SAYS, " I HAD A SNOOZE
AT LUNCH TIME TODAY...AND
I HAD THE CRAZIEST DREAM!"
"YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?" SHE ASKS...
"WHAT IS THAT," AKS HSR...
"I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD
DO THE SAME THING
TOMORROW AT LUNCH AND
PICK UP
WHERE YOU
LEFT OFF!" SHE HINTS...
"THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
SLEEPING IN A
DENTAL CHAIR,"
SAYS HSR, "THAT'S
DIFFERENT FROM
A BED OR SOFA OR
ANYWHERE ELSE!"
"SO, HSR," SHE SAYS
AS SHE DROPS HIM OFF AT HIS PLACE,
"SEE IF YOU CAN
GAIN SOME
VALUABLE INSIGHTS OR EVEN
SOME FUN TIMES!...BUT...
IF THINGS GET
'TOO HAIRY' JUST
WAKE UP...OKAY!"
"OKAY..I'LL TRY!"
SMILES HSR,
"SEE YOU TOMORROW!"
SO,
WHEN HE FINISHES HIS
LAST MORNING
PATIENT, HE
TELLS HIS ASSISTANT,
"I THINK THAT I'LL
REST AGAIN
IN..."
"...YOUR FAVORITE CHAIR,"
SHE
SAYS, "I'LL SEE
YOU AFTER LUNCH, HONEY!"
"OKAY...WAKE ME UP
IF I OVER SLEEP AGAIN!...SEE YOU" SAYS HSR...
NOW,
HE HOPS INTO
HIS FAVORITE CHAIR
AND HE TAKES A
DEEP BREATH AND
CLOSES HIS EYES,
BUT HE
DOESN'T
FEEL HIMELF
GO
STRAIGHT INTO HIS
SLUMBER...INSTEAD,
HE THINKS ABOUT A
ROMANTIC NIGHT
ON
THE SHORES,
AND THEN
VISIONS OF
A
STRANGE CIRCUS!
AND EVEN SOME
HAPPY DANCERS SHOW UP!
NOW...
SOMETHING SAYS,
"HI...YOU'RE BACK!...
...AIN'T THAT RIGHT MACK?"
(SMACK!)
...HA HA!"...
"HELLO, HSR," SAYS THE NEXT
MANIFESTATION...
"I JUST HAPPENED TO
BE PASSING BY
YOUR AREA OF THIS
BONUS MATERIAL CAN BE SEEN ALONG THIS THREAD @
"OMGosh!...Oh, Please, Oh, Please, Oh, Please!... Tell Me...Why!...It Costs...
...An Arm... And A Leg...To...
...Fix A...Tooth!"
and
"OMGosh!...Dentist/Researcher Ralph Winge, D.D.S....
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