When you reach the Greeter, they'll throw me a Rope!...
Then,
I'll be Personally and Physically Indebated to you,
for Forever,
plus a couple more days!"
"It's so good to see you, Hollywood!...
I'm going to
put you between two
Slices of Bread!"
"How you gonna say that I don't
Love Hollywood!
I'm the one whose
body tingles and melts
every time he
touches me!"
"So, Dr. Holly...
You want me to
turn to the side?...
...a little more?...
,,,and just a little more?...
...you know what?...
...you Bad!"
"OMG!, Hollywood...
I don't know what I want...
...except...
I want you!"
"Greetings, Sir Hollywood!
I'm glad that you are here
at the "Royal Fete!"
After the long and
laborious Ceremony...
I need you...no...
I would Love to help you
Shine your Armour to Knight!"
"Hi, HSR... I want to walk you home,
if I may?
You've probably heard that
there are some
Hungry Women out here on the Prowl!
Why, yes!...I'm one of them!"
"Greeting, People...
Since you made it this far,
we're going to throw that lady above,
A Rope to save her!
And while I'm
all "Glad And Happy" to see you here...
I want you to stick something in my...
Mind!
Ooooouuu, you're Gross!"
"I strive for perfection in everything I do!
And I try to be perfect when I'm with you!
But,
when we are "Ever So Close!"...
...I get
"All-Sloppy-Don't-Care!"
"Sure I'll have this Dance...
And seeing that this is my Living Room...
I'll up you one!"
"Hollywood!...
What are you doing in Singapore?
You're here for the sights?
And to "Hook Up With Me?"
"Well, lucky for us...
I've got the "Hook"
and you have the "Up!"
Welcome, Reader, to My
Personal
Entertainment Chambers!...
I am the Official Presenter and Elucidator of Today's
Installment!
And I'm so Happy that
I was chosen that
I'm
"Spinning In Circles!"
Whoa, I'm a little drunk with dizziness!
Please hold me,
so I don't fall!
My, your arms feel good to
"Fall Into!"
Now that I have recomposed myself,
Let's see what some
"Ladies On The Lookout"
have to reveal
about their desires and
"Gotta Haves"
when it comes to
Hollywood "Sweet Buns" Report!"
Hey, is that
an Internet Show with Ricky Ricardo?...
...well anyway...
"Doctor Report!...
I bet you can't tell
what I'm thinking about!"
"Thank you Miss Spinning Presenter!...
"Hollywood told me to meet him here
and I've been walking for a while
but I'm not scared or anything
but it is sort of suspenseful
and I do like some suspense
especially the kind of suspense
that
"Pleasantly Surprises!"
Oh, there you are!"
"Hi there, Miss
"You Got Me Going In Circles!"
Do you and HSR do anything in your
"Personal Entertainment Chambers?
It sounds like it's big and wide...perfect for
Hide And Seek...And Hide Again!"
"Dr. Report...
we meet again...
but instead of the wild forest
we meet in the Wild Concrete Jungle!
And it's okay with me because...
"My Wild Loves Your Wild!"
"I'm all for the Wild Stuff!
Like Tone Loc..."Let's Do The Wild Thing!"
Before Mankind was Civilized...
We were (and some of us still are!) Wild!
Now,
my hands are opening and peeling back
a special
Space-Time Envelope!
and gets what?
I can see you!...
even better!"
"Here's our next Part!"
"Dr, Report...
I made you some Hot Brownies
right out the oven!
What's that?...
Why, I don't know what to say...
but
I do know what to..."
"HSR!...
I'm feeling a little naughty!
You say that you're
feeling all the way nice?
How about a compromise?"
you and your
"I just love it when I am about to bite into some
good food!"
smiles
are
rubbing a full and
satiated belly!
And, for Today's Episode,
a 9th-Century-Specialist English Professor
will be writing out
Today's Script Longhand!
Please
pay attention!
"HSR!...
...Nothing in this World is Free...
except
"Our Own Free Will!"
Swimming can be dangerous!...
especially for HSR!
Please be careful!
Check yourself
whenever you're
in a pool, and
a Beautiful Lady
shows up!
HSR has that problem
all the time!
But he does try to have some
innocent fun!
And...
as you probably can guess...again...
HSR may find hisself in another
smelly and
unenviable position
that he stepped in during
"Wow! 50 Shades Of Lips! Part 3. (Goth Edition Part 1.)"
and there,
HE AND HIS FRIEND CALEB DID
THE LAST MINUTE LOGISTICS
AND PREPARATIONS FOR A FASHION SHOW...AND
IT TURNED OUT GREAT!
AND THE DEMANDING DESIGNER
WANTS TO USE THE TWO AGAIN,
BUT THIS TIME IN MILAN, ITALY!...
WITH ITS MANY OLD AND
WORLD-DEFINING ARCHITECTURAL
MASTERPIECES,
AND ITS NEW-WORLD,
LEADING-EDGE PLACES!
OH, YES..
ALONG WITH ITS MANY
VENUES SHOWCASING
GASTRONOMIC
EXCELLENCE!
AND, OF COURSE THE
CARNIVAL
AMBROSIANO!
SO,
AFTER A NICE SNOOZE
ON THE FLIGHT OVER
THEY GRAB A TAXI
AND HEAD ON OVER TO THE HOTEL...
...
OKAY!...SOME CUTE GIRLS AT THE CHECK-IN DESK
SMILE BIG AT THEM AND ASK...
"OH,
YOU'RE WITH THE FAHION SHOW, RIGHT?
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
YOUR STAY IN MILAN
THE BEST YOU EVER HAD!...
...HERE ARE SOME TICKETS
TO OUR COMPLIMENTARY
MUD BATHS AND MESSAGES!...
THEY'RE GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU FEEL
LIKE BRAND NEW!..
ALL OVER AGAIN!"...
"WELL THANKS,"
SAY HSR AND CALEB...
"MAN, HSR...
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO STAY FOCUSED," WARNS CALEB...
"CAUSE ALL OF THESE
SUPER GORGEOUS WOMEN
ARE COMING AT US LEFT AND RIGHT!...
AND HSR ANSWERS,
"YOU BET, CALEB,
I'MA HAVE MYSELF A
GOOD 'OL BORING TIME!"
PLAYFULLY WINKS HSR!...
NOW, A LADY BELL HOP
HELPS THEM
WITH THEIR BAGS
TO THEIR ROOM...
AND AFTER A WHILE IN THEIR ROOM,
JUST TALKING AND LAUGHING...
THEY GET A KNOCK ON THE DOOR ...
AND AFTER OPENING THE DOOR,
TWO BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
WALTZ ON IN AND ASK,
"WE'D LOVE TO BE MODELS
IN YOUR SHOW TOMORROW...
AND WE'RE READY TO
DO ANYTHING RIGHT NOW,
FOR THE CHANCE!"
AND HSR START TO STUTTER,
BUT CALEB IS JUST SMILING
LIKE A BIG CAT!
AND THE TWO WOMEN SAY,
"WELL,
LET'S JUST HAVE
A LITTLE WINE!...
...A CHATEAU FROM 1901!
...IT'S DREAMY GOOD!
BUT,
JUST THEN...
... THE FAMOUS DESIGNER WALKS IN
AND SEES ALL OF THIS,
THEN...
HE SHOOS AWAY THE TWO WOMEN,
TELLING THEM TO,
"GO ON TO JACKIE AND
FINALIZE YOUR FITTINGS FOR TOMORROW!"...
THEN, CALEB SAYS,
"HEY, IF THEY ARE ALREADY
MODELS IN THE SHOW,
WHY DID THEY ACT
LIKE THEY WEREN'T?"
"THOSE TWO JUST WANT TO
"BOY-TOY"
YOU GUYS,
THEN,
THEY WOULD WANT TO
MONOPOLIZE ALL OF YOUR TIME"...
AND THE DESIGNER CONTINUES,
"THAT'S WHY I HAD TO
LET THE OTHER TWO GUYS BEFORE YOU GO!...
THEY WOULD NEVER LEAVE
THE HOTEL ROOM WITH THOSE WOMEN!
...THOSE TWO ARE ADDICTING AND SWEET,
BUT THEY'LL
WALK RIGHT OVER YOU...
...BEWARE!,"
WARNS THE DESIGNER.
AND HSR THINKS,
"WELL...I USUALLY WOULD VOLUNTEER
FOR THAT KIND OF ABUSE
BUT
MAYBE NOT THIS TIME!!"
THE DESIGNER CONTINUES,
"TOMORROW'S SHOW IS AT 3:00 PM SHARP,
AND WE START PREP AT 9:00 AM...
MY LIFE AND REPUTATION
DEPEND ON THIS SHOW...
I NEED YOU TO DO
"ABOVE"
YOUR BEST!
...STUDY THESE TAPES!...
WE HAVE SOME REALLY
DEMANDING MODELS TOMORROW...UNDERSTOOD?"
"YES, SIR!, "
SHOUTS HSR,
AS HE JUMPS TO HIS FEET AND
SALUTES...
THEN
THE DESIGNER ROLLS HIS EYES SOME
AND SLIGHTLY SMILES AT HSR,
THEN LEAVES,
SAYING,
"MAKE ME PROUD AGAIN,
YOU GUYS!"...
NOW, AFTER THE DOOR SHUTS,
CALEB POPS IN THE DVD
AND THEY SEE THIS KIND OF STUFF
AND THIS...
AND THIS...
AND CALEB SAYS TO HSR,
"WE BETTER TREAT THOSE LADIES
LIKE PRIMA DONNAS
BECAUSE
WE DON'T WANT THEM
...GANGING UP ON US!"...
BUT,
JUST THEN,
THERE'S ANOTHER KNOCK ON THE DOOR...
THIS TIME LOUDER!
THINKING IT MIGHT BE THE DESIGNER AGAIN,
HSR OPENS THE DOOR...
HOWEVER,
THIS TIME,
TWO OTHER WOMEN BARGE IN...
AND ONE OF THEM IS PACKIN'!...
"SHUT UP
AND SIT DOWN, YOU TWO!"
ORDERS THIS WOMAN!...
"I'LL BE SUCCINCT...
I NEED YOU TWO
TO SABOTAGE
THE FASHION SHOW TOMORROW...!
BECAUSE, IF YOU DON'T..."
"BOTH OF YOU WILL FACE
GREAT BODILY HARM!,"
SHE PROMISES!
MY PEOPLE WILL BE WATCHING YOU!...
NOW, CALEB AND HSR
LOOK AMAZED AT EACH OTHER AND THINK.
"WHAT THE!..."
...
"YOU TWO ARE TO
WEAKEN SOME OF THE HEELS
ON THE HIGH HEEL SHOES
OF THE LADIES...
AND...
MY PEOPLE WILL PLACE
SLIPPERY OIL ON THE RUNWAYS
BEFORE THE SHOW...GOT IT?" SHE DEMANDS!
SO,
WHAT ARE HSR AND CALEB
GOING TO DO NOW?
EVERYONE NEEDS THE SHOW
TO GO PERFECTLY,
EXCEPT FOR THIS WOMAN!
NOW, CALEB SAYS, "I LIKE ALL OF MY FINGERS AND TOES!"
"AND I LIKE MY HANDS AND FEET THAT GO WITH THEM, TOO!"
SAYS HSR.
SO,
THEY BOTH HAVE A RESTLESS NIGHT'S SLEEP!
AND WHEN THEY GET
TO THE FASHION SHOW VENUE
IT LOOKS LIKE AN ABSOLUTE MADHOUSE!
DESIGNER CLOTHES HERE AND THERE
AND THE FITTERS ARE DOING THIER THINGS!
NOW, BOTH
HSR AND CALEB
ARE OUTFITTED WITH
THE NEEDED COMMUNICATIONS GEAR!
...
THE TIME IS APPROACHING!
AND ANXIOUS ANTICIPATION
...IS IN THE AIR!
GOTTA GET THAT LOOK
JUST RIGHT!
EVERYONE IS SUPPORTING EACH
OTHER!
NOW!!...
THE MOMENT OF RECKONING IS HERE!
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!
SO...
THINGS START OFF OKAY,
BUT THE FOURTH MODEL
OMG!
"TAKES THE PLUNGE!"
AND AFTER A COUPLE
OF MODELS MORE...
WHAT'S THIS!
IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?
IT'S LIKE
A "NIGHTMARE!"
BUT NOW...
A SEASONED PROFESSIONAL
CALMS THINGS
BACK DOWN!
BUT, NO!
LIGHTNING IS STRIKING
A WHOLE BUNCH OF TIMES...
IN THE SAME SPOT!
THIS IS...
UNBELIEVABLE!
BUT,
NAOMI'S NATURAL COMPOSURE
AGAIN SUCCEEDS
IN SAVING
THE SHOW'S FACE!
THANK YOU, MODEL, FOR AN
UNEVENTFUL WALK!
BUT,
OH NO...
ONCE AGAIN!...
THE
"TRIP-ITIS" STRIKES AGAIN!
AND PEOPLE ARE TAKEN ABACK...
A
WAYYY-WAYYY-BACK!
THIS IS ALMOST LIKE A
WAR ZONE!
AND
JUST WHEN ONE THINKS
THAT IT
CAN'T GET WORSE!...
IT GLORIOUSLY DOES!
"OOOWWW...
WHERE'S MY
HEART MEDICINE?"
"COME ON...SO YOU FELL... IT'S
NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!"
BUT NOW...SOME PEOPLE DISAGREE!
IT IS THE
"END OF THE WORLD!"
...
AAH YES,
BUT ANOTHER
"ICE IN THE VEINS"
MODEL
SOOTHES
THE CROWD!...
...AT LEAST...
...FOR A SECOND
OR TWO!
...
NOW...SOMEONE SAYS..."SOMEBODY KILL THIS SHOW
TO
TAKE IT OUT OF IT'S MISERY!"
...
NEXT...
THE CROWD WOWS AND MELTS
AS A
"SUPER-BOWL-SIZED-FAIL"
ERUPTS!
BUT...
THE CROWD
UNDERSTANDS IT!
AND,
THEY FORGIVE...
BUT,
THEY PERK UP AND
THEY
LOVE THE DISPLAY!
IT'S PSYCHOLOGICALLY EXCITING AND
UNPRECEDENTED!
BOY,
NOW,
THE AUDIENCE IS
"EATING IT UP!"
THEN,
THINGS
ONCE MORE
SETTLE DOWN SOME
AND
KEEP GOING SOLID
WITH THE
PROS!
BUT,
THERE'S STILL
SOME DRAMA!
OKAY...
SO,
THE REST
OF THE SHOW
GOES ON WITHOUT ANY MAJOR HITCHES!
AND THE GUYS DON'T FAULTER!
HEY...DON'T MESS WITH THEM!...
ESPECIALLY THIS
ONE!
NOW,
THAT THE MODELS ARE FINISHED...
THE CROWD GOES CRAZY!
AND GETS NOISY!
AND THEY RAISE A "REAL RUCKUS!"
THEN,
THE TYPE "A" DESIGNER
RELISHES IN THE
ROWDY AND ROUSING APPLAUSE!
NOW,
BACKSTAGE...
THE INTERVIEWING QUEEN SAYS,
"MISTAKES CAN'T
BE MADE!...
WE PROFESSIONALS
EVEN PRACTICE WITH
BROKEN SHOES
AND ON OILY, AND SLIPPERY FLOORS
SO
WE CAN EVEN OVERCOME
THOSE ADVERSITIES!"
...
AND NOW,
OUTSIDE
PEOPLE CAN'T STOP
TALKING ABOUT
THE DRAMA,
THE HUMANITY,
THE SPONTANEITY,
THE GETTING BACK UP AFTER FALLING!
THE STRENGTH OF THE SPIRIT!...
...
YES!...
ALL OF THE TALK SHOWS ARE
BREAKING THE NEWS ABOUT
THIS BEING THE
"BEST FASHION SHOW IN YEARS!"
AND THE REVIEWS ARE
ASTRONOMICALLY SPECTACULAR!
"QUITE FRANKLY...IT WAS THE WORST!...AND...
...THE BEST...I'VE EVER SEEN!"
NOW,
THE DESIGNER
IMMEDIATELY
GETS
MORE ANIMATED
PUBLICITY ON ALL "THE TALKIES"
THAN
HE COULD EVER
IMAGINE!
THEN,
AFTER THE SHOW,
THE DESIGNER COMES
TO HSR AND CALEB, AND SAYS,
"I JUST CAN'T QUITE PHANTOM
ALL OF THE
ABSOLUTE DELIRIUM AND INSANITY
THAT JUST HAPPENED!...
BUT!...
MY PREORDERS
ARE THROUGH THE ROOF!
HERE, YOU TWO!...
THERE'S EIGHTY GRAND FOR
EACH OF YOU!
AND GUESS WHAT?...
WE'RE GOING TO FRANCE NEXT WEEK!"
...
NOW,
THE WOMAN THAT
ORDERED HSR AND CALEB TO
"THROW THE SHOW!"
SAYS TO HERSELF,
"I NEED TO THINK OF AN
EVEN MORE DEVIOUS
PLOT TO
SABOTAGE THEM!"
"It's better late than never!"
Aah, Yes!...
The Lips of Women!...
OMG!
They can be...
...such a Mystery!
Are they more than just
the opening to
Their Airway and Digestive Systems?
Unequivocally...Yes!
Just look at what
guys do
to win the Hearts of Women!
We are
"Prisoners of Our Own Genetics!"
We experience
"Panic Attacks Of Love" with our Women!
Yes,
Beauty really is
in the eyes of the beholder
and I'm glad that I
can see!
It's understood that
Socially, and
in the Fashion World,
Women have the greatest latitude
in Dressing
Up and
Adornment!...
...especially of the Lips!
Broken glass...anyone?
Women can go Patriotic...
and even Super
Hero
Style!
Nature
scenes
are
"All the
Rage," too!
"I like to stand out!
I just Love the Attention!"
Let's play some...
Checkers!....
Celebrations
and cakes
are also popular
themes!
Urban settings
can get you second looks!
"I see some of those choices
on the Internet!
But they don't last too long
with my Man around!"
Popular
Movie
Themes
and even
Fantasies
have their followers!
"Oh ...
that's very nice of you to
share!"
Is this
Saliva Sweet?"
"I want some Outlandish
Purple on my Lips!"
"I give New Meaning to
the term
"Pearly Whites!"
"I'll take it...
Lips and All!
"Hey!... How did
this
Tongue "Slip In?"
"If I dress up my Lips,
how long must I wait
for them
to dry?"
"I hear that these
go great with a
Chastity Belt!
"I will
"Win First Place!"
And it goes without saying...that
Great Teeth go with
any kind of Outlandish Lips!
"Amen
To That!"
So, remember, Folks
Reality can be an
"Adjusted Illusion"
perceived by
our "Foolable Eyes!"
Come and 'Pop It!"...
I dare ya!"
"Let me see...
what "Skimpy and Eyeball-Addicting" piece of cloth
shall I
wear when
Han tar mig och gör mig scream!"
May you have many...
..."HSR and I grew up together
playing with this swing!
Now...
we play in the grass!...
..."There is a difference
between "Love" and "Romance," right?
Love, I think is the overall feeling!
And Romance is one of the vehicles to show it!
But there are many ways to show Love...
And there are quite a few ways to Romance!
But the activities may not be interchangeable, no?
It can get sort of confusing!...
But,
can you have one without the other?
I guess one can!
But,
I don't want to try it!"..
..."I'm looking for HSR...
the young man who just did the Fashion Show!
I just love the way he
helped me get in and out
of my outfits
and helping me looking like a "10" all along...
Well, I need to find him so that
everyday!"...
..."Flying my Kite
reminds me of us....
A lot of the fun is getting it up!...
and soaring and feeling
the heights!
and
make me go this way
and that!"...
...smiles!
"I'm going to get fresh with you again!
I feel so alive when I do!
Something sweet and good and exciting always happens!
...and it's always
delicious!"
"
"You and I have been dancing to the Oldies for Years!
But I must say
that
Dancing with you...
never gets old!"
"Hi there, Hollywood
My Love!...
I wanted to tell you something good last night...
but I couldn't get around to it!
There was such a "Flurry Of Action!"
Why are you looking at me like that?
You're trying to make me forget again?"
"I look more beautiful than ever?
Why, HSR!...
You're So Sweet!"
"Hey, This is Anika!
You bringing the hot oils?
I Love You...Soon!"
"Doctor Report!...
Good to see you at
The Party!
If we have enough of these
we can...
fly to my Penthouse!"
"Hollywood!...you remember me from
Elementary School?
And you use to pull my hair?
Well, it's time for the
"Big Pay Back!""
"Now that the Show's over...
HSR,
I don't want to ski...
I just want us to
get "Cozy By The Fireside!""
"Hey, Deanna....
Deana Barroqueiro!
Whoa!...It's nice to see you!...
...What's up?"
"Well, hey there,
My Sweet Hollie Dollie!
I'm flying from New York to Hawaii
And there's a Stop Over for
two days and two nights!
So, do I have to make a reservation?"
"Oh no, Baby!
You're "Top Shelf!"...
...and you know it!
Let's get out of here!"
"OMG! This means that you're
going to "Hollywood" me?
Yay!"
"OMG! Sistahs!
Here he comes for us now!...
Be careful...
He says that he's going to
bend our legs the wrong way!"
"Do you know why you'll never
find the HSR Doll in Stores?
I intimately found out for myself!
...It's because he is
"Anatomically Incorrect"
compared to all the others!
and OMG!...
"Viva La Differance!"
"I tell ya...
The last time I tried to make him "Holla"
I was the one
making "All The Noise!"
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