...And...Yeah!...The Grand Trophy...Is Mine!
“Hey!...
...Some People can easily
Win that Contest...
... without even trying!"
“The Sun Rises with a
Dependable Regularity,
and the
Sun Sets with a
'Colorful Goodbye'
and
the Drizzly Rain teases
and
delivers a Thorough
and
Reviving Wash, and
the falling Deciduous Leaves that agree,
then disagree, to
...be carried off by the Unpredictable Winds,
"Every since I started
Living a Smile-Centered Lifestyle
with Its requirements
being so tough and rigorous and all...
the Rest of Life
look Easy!"
"Well, of Course...I have
"Well, of Course...I have
'Natural Tendencies'...
...How could You tell?"
"There He goes up in the Blast Off...
...How could You tell?"
"There He goes up in the Blast Off...
always
have to
try out Everything first?"
...Love Ya!"
"Everybody
try out Everything first?"
"I will enter
into Your Dreams Tonight
at exactly
3:32 in the Morning
"Everybody
can get
"The Breffs!'
You and Your
Just Ignore Your Mouth
and see
What Happens!"
You and Your
‘I heard that before Dental Floss was widely available,
Everyone had Bad 'Breff!’'
Smiles
are
happy that some Bad Breath ‘Repeat Offenders’ are
wearing Masks!
This
This
'You are Your Breath and Your Breath is You'
Episode
is
brought to you by
a
Great
Halitosis-reducing
Rinse!.
Yes!...And probably
This is My First Date, and I don’t want any
Breath Fails!
Yes!...And probably
Everyone in the World
doesn't want that
kind of Fail!
But...with HSR....
...Failure is always an Option!
See how he
'Tightropes'
his Fate...in
"I'm Saying "OMGosh!"...And...Smiling...At These...Lady ...
...Hula Hoopers!...
and Foundational to that,
in
"...I'm A Tooth Fairy!...And These
Are My Tales!...Part 1...."
and before that, in
"Teeth Jam" Or "Toe Jam"...Which
Is Worse?...Part 2."
and
even before that,
in
"She Has A "Summa Cum Laude"
Smile!,"
where HSR is
so happy to be on break
from that
GIANT
DENTAL SCHOOL
ON THE WEST COAST...
...USC
HE IS NOW
VISITING THAT
LOVELY
BY THE HOOK OF
AND HSR MEETS
BENTHE
AT AN OUTDOOR CAFE...
A
ROMANTIC "FAT ONE"
ON HIS CHEEK!
AND
SHE SMILES,
"COME BACK SOMETIME!...
AT AN OUTDOOR CAFE...
SO, THEY TALK A LITTLE
AND HE TELLS HER
THAT HE WANTS TO
"BIKE
ALL THE WAY
TO ROTTERDAM!"
SO,
SHE TELLS HIM
WHERE A BIKE SHOP IS....
THEN,
SHE PLANTS
ROMANTIC "FAT ONE"
ON HIS CHEEK!
AND
SHE SMILES,
"COME BACK SOMETIME!...
... I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND!"
SO,
HSR STARTS WALKING DOWN
AND
ON THE WAY,
HE MEETS A LADY
THAT LIKES TO WALK
AND
TALK
ABOUT SEAT COMFORT
AND
EASE OF STEERING
AND
THAT IT'S
NOT GOOD TO ALWAYS
GO
ALL OUT...AND...
THAT SHE
WANTS TO MEET HSR
AT THE SAME PLACE
TOMORROW!...
NOW,
HSR THINKS,
"PEOPLE AROUND HERE
ARE REALLY
"CARBON-FOOTPRINT
CONSCIOUS,"
AS THEY GO ON
ABOUT THEIR DAY!"
AS THEY GO ON
ABOUT THEIR DAY!"
NOW,
HE GETS TO
THE BIKE SHOP
AND WALKS INSIDE...
BUT HE
DOESN'T WANT
THIS BIKE...
NOW...
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
IN THAT ROOM...
IS SO MUCH
OF A BLUR...
BUT...
THE NEXT MORNING...
...ALTHOUGH FEELING
A LITTLE EMBARRASSED...
HSR STILL GETS HIMSELF
READY TO LEAVE,
AND
AS HE LEAVES ON HIS BIKE,
THIS LADY SAYS,
"AFTER THREE SHOTS
OF WHISKY,
YOUNG MAN,
YOU WERE 'TEARING IT UP'...
AND WALKS INSIDE...
BUT HE
DOESN'T WANT
THIS BIKE...
" I JUST WANT A PLAIN ONE FOR NOW."
AND KEESHA.
HOOKS HIM UP!
SO, HSR GETS A GOOD,
STURDY BIKE!...
AND HE'S
RIDING PRETTY WELL...
JUST LIKE
PEE WEE HERMAN DID!
AND
WHILE TRAVELING EAST,
HE GIVES A HIGH
FIVE
TO A
FELLOW BIKER!
AND
HE REMEMBERS
A SCENE FROM ONE
OLD MOVIE AND
ANOTHER!...
SO,
HSR PASSES SOME PEOPLE
ON THE ROAD
AND
ONE LADY ASKS,
"I HAVE SOME WINE AND CHEESE,
AND A BLANKET...
...YOU GAME?"
AND HSR, SAYS,
"SURE!"
SO,
THEY SIT AND TALK
AND LAUGH A BIT,
THEN,
THEY SAY "BYE!"
AND SOON,
HE PASSES AN
AIRPORT!...
AND
THE
THEEPOT!
AND,
OTHER
SPECTACULAR STUFF
AND
WITH HIS NIGHT LIGHT ON
HSR FINDS HIMSELF
A LITTLE
LOST
AND
REAL TIRED
AND
OMG!...
HE ENDS UP...
...HERE!...
...BY SOME RED LIGHTS!
"WHERE AM I?"
HSR ASKS HIMSELF!...
THEN,
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
A WOMAN SAYS,
"HEY, YOUNG MAN...
THERE IS AN
EMERGENCY ON THE STREETS!
BRING YOUR BIKE IN HERE,
AND
COME WITH ME
TO GET OFF
OF THE STREETS!"
NOW,
HSR SAYS,
"AN EMERGENCY?...
...WELL,
THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU...
TO OFFER SHELTER!
...I THINK I'LL
TAKE YOU UP
ON THAT OFFER!"
...
"COME ON IN," SHE SAYS,
"I'M NOT SURE WHAT KIND OF EMERGENCY IT IS
BUT,
JUST TO BE SAFE,
IT'S BEST TO BE INSIDE!"
SO,
HSR WALKS IN AND
LOOKS AROUND THE PLACE,
A LITTLE
AND HE SEES SOME
WOMEN...
AND THE LADY
WHO LET HIM IN SAYS,
"IF YOU WANT TO,
HAVE A SEAT
OVER THERE FOR A MINUTE!"
"OKAY,"
SAYS HSR,
AS HE TAKES A SEAT...
THEN,
HE MOVES A LITTLE
CLOSER TO THE WINDOW,
JUST TO GET AN
INNOCENT LOOK OUTSIDE!
THEN,
ALL OF A SUDDEN,
SOME WOMEN ON THE STREET
START TO GATHER AROUND
HIS "WINDOW!"...
NOW,
HSR CAN HEAR SOME OF THEM SAY,
"I WANT HIM!,"
AS THEY POINT
AND GIGGLE TO EACH OTHER
THEN,
A NUMBER OF THEM
WALK FROM THE WINDOW,
AND
THEY SEEM TO BE
GOING TO THE FRONT DOOR
OF THIS PLACE!
AND,
IN A MINUTE OR TWO,
HSR CAN HEAR THE PEOPLE SPEAK
AT THE FRONT DESK,
"WE WANT
THAT GUY IN THE WINDOW...
...HERE!"
AND A LADY SAYS,
NONE OF THE GUYS
ARE WORKING NOW!"
AND THE WOMEN SHOUT BACK TO HER,
"WE SAW HIM...IN THE WINDOW!...
...AND HE'S JUST THE ONE
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!
HERE'S THE MONEY...
PLEASE GIVE HIM TO US!"
...
NOW,
HSR IS FINALLY
PUTTING TWO AND TWO TOGETHER, AND
HE THINKS TO HISSELF,
"AWW, MAN...I'M IN A
"GOOD LOVE MARKETPLACE!...AND
THOSE WOMEN
COMING FOR ME
ARE
GONNA TAKE OUT
SOME OF THEIR
FANTASIES, FETISHES,
AND FREAKNESSES
OUT ON ME!"
...
SO NOW,
HSR,
GETS UP AND
WALKS PAST AN OPEN DOOR
AND SEES A LADY
AND SHE SAYS TO HIM,
"COME AND STAY A WHILE, HANDSOME!"
BUT
HE KEEPS WALKING...
NOW,
HE
SEES AN OPEN DOOR,
AND HE DECIDES TO
GO INTO THAT ROOM...AND HIDE!...
...SO,
HE TIPTOES INSIDE,
AND
HE'S NOT SURPRISED TO SEE ...
...A BED!
SO,
HE DECIDES TO
GET UNDER THE BED
AND HIDE!
AND
JUST AS HE
MAKES IT UNDER THERE,
HE HEARS TWO PEOPLE
COME IN THE ROOM AND
JUMP ON THE BED!
.....
AND AFTER SOME
EXTENDED MOMENTS OF PASSION,
THE TWO PEOPLE LEAVE....
"NOW'S MY CHANCE
TO
GET OUT OF HERE!,"
THINKS HSR...
SO,
HE GETS FROM UNDER THE BED,
AND STANDS UP,
THEN
SLOWLY WALKS TO THE DOOR
AND OPENS IT
A LITTLE
AND STICKS HIS
HEAD OUT TO SEE
DOWN THE HALL...
BUT...
OH NO!
....
"THERE HE IS," THOSE HUNGRY WOMEN SHOUT
AND POINT TO HIM...
"LET'S GET HIM!,"
THEY ENTHUSIASTICALLY SCREAM!
SO,
HSR RUNS BACK INTO THE ROOM
BUT
THE DOOR CAN'T SHUT!
NOW,
THE WOMEN BARGE IN,
AND THIS ONE SAYS,
"DON'T WORRY, BABY...
I JUST
WANT TO WATCH!"
THEN,
THIS LADY SAYS,
"I JUST NEED TO
HOLD HANDS
AND HUG!"
THEN...
THIS ONE GRINS,
"RIGHT NOW,
I JUST WANT TO LIVE
ONE "POP" AT A TIME!"
...
NOW...
A BIG PART OF
HSR IS
SO
VERY
FRIGHTENED!
BUT,
A TINY
YET SIGNIFICANT
PART OF HIM
THINKS
"YEAH, BABY!"
...
NOW...
WHAT HAPPENS NEXT
IN THAT ROOM...
IS SO MUCH
OF A BLUR...
BUT...
THE NEXT MORNING...
...ALTHOUGH FEELING
A LITTLE EMBARRASSED...
HSR STILL GETS HIMSELF
READY TO LEAVE,
AND
AS HE LEAVES ON HIS BIKE,
THIS LADY SAYS,
"AFTER THREE SHOTS
OF WHISKY,
YOUNG MAN,
YOU WERE 'TEARING IT UP'...
...WITH YOUR
'SUGGESTIVE DANCING!'
AND YOU
MADE MORE MONEY
THAN EVER
FOR THIS PLACE!
YOU NEED TO COME BACK
SOON AND GET
YOUR
'PROFIT ON,'
OKAY!"
"I'LL THINK ABOUT IT!"
AND YOU
MADE MORE MONEY
THAN EVER
FOR THIS PLACE!
YOU NEED TO COME BACK
SOON AND GET
YOUR
'PROFIT ON,'
OKAY!"
"I'LL THINK ABOUT IT!"
SAYS HSR,
AS HE GETS ON HIS
BIKE AND RIDES TO THE EAST...
BUT NOW...
HE HAS A NEW-FOUND,
FAT WAD OF CASH
IN HIS FRONT POCKET,
AS HIS SHARE
FROM THE 'FESTIVITIES'
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE,
EVEN IN AMSTERDAM...
"WHEN IT RAINS...IT POURS!"
...
SO,
THE NEXT MORNING...
HSR SAYS,
"SEE YA" TO EVERYONE...
AND OF COURSE THEY ARE SAD
TO
SEE HIM LEAVE AND
THAT LADY INVITES HIM BACK
WHEN EVER HE WANTS!
SO
HE RIDES SOME MORE
AND COMES ACROSS
A GIANT POOL TOURNAMENT!
THE WOMAN!
AND NOW IT'S DOWN
"Well Hello,
But then,
And...
...“So, Mister Hollywood,
We renew Our
Cleanliness to remove all 'Gathered Bacteria!'”...
...Smiles!
And that also means putting
Our ‘Best Breath’ forward, too!”
...We’re all Entrepreneurs!”
"This 'Treadmill Of Life' Is...
Dental Hygiene Wars!
...And Godspeed!”
...just Perfectly!”
...Roots are the Tenderest!”
...Gulped Down a Slurpee!”
it brings Immediate and
The Dentist Who Loves You Back
The Weekly Dental Entertainment Program
The Second Life Dentist
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Dentistry And Second Life
Second Life-Dental Blog
Fairy Tales Of The Mouth
A Thousand And One Dental Bites
Dental Comic Book
My Mouth Made Me Do It
The Biggest and Baddest Dentist in History
The Dental Blog That You Can Read To Your Kids
AS HE GETS ON HIS
BIKE AND RIDES TO THE EAST...
BUT NOW...
HE HAS A NEW-FOUND,
FAT WAD OF CASH
IN HIS FRONT POCKET,
AS HIS SHARE
FROM THE 'FESTIVITIES'
...JUST FOR DANCING!
SO,
SO,
NOW...
HE STOPS BY A DINER
TO GRAB A BITE!...
AND THE PLACE LOOKS
OKAY, WITH
AN ADMIRER!
HE STOPS BY A DINER
TO GRAB A BITE!...
AND THE PLACE LOOKS
OKAY, WITH
VARIOUS CLIENTELE...
"GOOD DAY, SIR!...
...LUNCH FOR ONE?"
AND HSR SAYS,
"YES, PLEASE!"
SO HE TAKES A SEAT...
AND HSR SEEMS TO ALREADY,
HAVE
AN ADMIRER!
NOW,
HE WOLFS DOWN
THE FOOD AS IF
HE HASN'T EATEN
FOR A WHILE,
THEN
THE FOOD AS IF
HE HASN'T EATEN
FOR A WHILE,
THEN
HE PAYS AND
MAKES IT OUT
ON THE ROAD AGAIN,
AND HE'S ON HIGHWAY A20
AND HE PASSES BY
THERE WILL BE DINNER
AND A LITTLE WINE!"
"SOUNDS GREAT!"
MAKES IT OUT
ON THE ROAD AGAIN,
AND HE'S ON HIGHWAY A20
AND HE PASSES BY
A WINDMILL
AND...
WOW!...SOME
REALLY BIG BULB FARMS!
AND HSR BIKES PAST SOME
FRIENDLY
KIDS AND A NICE
COUPLE!
"SIR," SAYS THIS LADY, "YOU
REMIND ME
OF A GOOD FRIEND!...
PLEASE RIDE SAFELY
ON YOUR BIKE,
OKAY...PLEASE!"
"WHY THANK YOU, MISS!...
...THANKS FOR YOUR CARING, AND
I'LL TRY TO BE
REAL SAFE!"
AND SO HE
RIDES ON...
...AND PASSES BY A ROBOT
ON A
BIKE!
THEN,
HE RIDES BY A
GUY ON A
STRANGE ONE!...
"THIS IS QUITE THE PLACE,"
SMILES HSR,
AS HE REMEMBERS TO
KEEP HIS EYES ON
THE ROAD!...
THEN
THIS LADY
MOTIONS TO HSR BY THE
SIDE OF THE ROAD,
AND SHE ASKS,
"HI THERE...DO YOU HAPPEN TO
KNOW ENGLISH?"
AND HSR BLURTS OUT,
"SURE DO!...WHAT'S UP?"
AND SHE RESPONDS,
I'M HAVING A
"LEARN MORE ENGLISH"
MEETING AT MY PLACE
...WOULD YOU LIKE TO
GIVE YOUR INPUT?"
THERE WILL BE DINNER
AND A LITTLE WINE!"
"SOUNDS GREAT!"
HE SAYS...
SO,
THEY GET THERE
AND THE PLACE IS LIVELY!
AND
SO,
THEY GET THERE
AND THE PLACE IS LIVELY!
AND
AFTER THE MEETING,
THERE'S A DANCE!
AND THIS LADY
COMES UP TO
HSR AND SAYS
"HI HANDSOME !...
I SPENT SOME TIME IN
AMERICA!...
BUT,
I LIKE IT HERE BETTER!
...SO WHAT ARE YOU
DOING AFTER THE PARTY?"
"I'M NOT SURE," SAYS
HSR...
"WELL," SHE SAYS,
WE'RE HAVING A
"SLEEP OVER" TONIGHT
AND
YOU'RE INVITED!"
AND IMMEDIATELY
HSR HAS THOSE FEELINGS
LIKE THIS...
THIS, AGAIN!
THERE'S A DANCE!
AND THIS LADY
COMES UP TO
HSR AND SAYS
"HI HANDSOME !...
I SPENT SOME TIME IN
AMERICA!...
BUT,
I LIKE IT HERE BETTER!
...SO WHAT ARE YOU
DOING AFTER THE PARTY?"
"I'M NOT SURE," SAYS
HSR...
"WELL," SHE SAYS,
WE'RE HAVING A
"SLEEP OVER" TONIGHT
AND
YOU'RE INVITED!"
AND IMMEDIATELY
HSR HAS THOSE FEELINGS
LIKE THIS...
AND...
LIKE
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE,
EVEN IN AMSTERDAM...
"WHEN IT RAINS...IT POURS!"
...
SO,
THE NEXT MORNING...
HSR SAYS,
"SEE YA" TO EVERYONE...
AND OF COURSE THEY ARE SAD
TO
SEE HIM LEAVE AND
THAT LADY INVITES HIM BACK
WHEN EVER HE WANTS!
SO
HE RIDES SOME MORE
AND COMES ACROSS
A GIANT POOL TOURNAMENT!
AND THERE'S
LOTS OF
ACTION!
AND SOME PEOPLE ARE PUTTING
ON
SHOT CLINICS!
AND
HE WALKS BY A
'PACK OF WOMEN!'...
"HEY GUY!...
IS THAT A
'BIG THING' IN YOUR POCKET....
OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD
TO SEE ME?"
"YEAH, SIR!"...SAYS ANOTHER ONE...
"I KNOW YOU'RE HOLDIN'...
...CAUSE...
I CAN SEE YOU PACKIN!"
"DANG," THINKS HSR. "I DIDN'T KNOW
MY
MONEY
WAS STICKING OUT!"...
"YEAH, LET'S
PLAY FOR
THAT
CASH
YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKET!...
COME ON!
FOR ALL OF THAT"
"AWW...THESE ARE,"
SAYS HSR,
"JUST A BUNCH OF KEYS IN MY POCKET!"
"BUT IF YOU WANNA
LEAVE," HE'S WARNED, "YOU GOTTA PLAY!...
...RIGHT, 'BIG BEN?'"
"RIGHT," SAYS BIG BEN!
SO,
HE STARTS A GAME,
AND
THEY BOTH
PUT SOME
BALLS IN THE POCKETS!....
AND HSR IS
SERIOUS, YET,
SO IS
THE WOMAN!
AND NOW IT'S DOWN
TO THE LAST BALL
YES!...AND HSR
IS GOING FOR THE
EASY
8 BALL
YES!...AND HSR
IS GOING FOR THE
EASY
8 BALL
IN THE
CORNER POCKET SHOT...
AND THEN HE'LL GET OUT OF THERE!
...BOY!...AND HE
M...M...M...
OH, NO!
HE SCRATCHES!
NOW...
WHAT'S HE
GOING TO DO?
CORNER POCKET SHOT...
AND THEN HE'LL GET OUT OF THERE!
...BOY!...AND HE
M...M...M...
OH, NO!
HE SCRATCHES!
NOW...
WHAT'S HE
GOING TO DO?
...
GOES ALL OUT!
Love Toothbrush®
...
Will You
“COME ON AND PAY UP, SIR” SAYS THIS
LADY...
BUT, FORTUNATELY FOR HSR,
AS HE WAS BIKE-RIDING
TO THE PLACE,
HE SPLIT UP HIS EARNINGS
WITH THE THINNER, LARGER
BILLS GOING IN ONE POCKET
AND
A LARGE AMOUNT OF SMALLER BILLS IN THE OTHER...
...HENCE, THE BULGE...
SO, AFTER LOSING,
HSR TAKES OUT
THE LARGER WAD OF
SMALLER BILLS, AND
PLOPS IT
ON THE TABLE…
...BY
BIG BEN...
AND
SOMETHING INSIDE OF HIM THINKS,
“SHOULD I?..."
...AND ANOTHER PART OF HIM THINKS,
“...HECK, YEAH!”
THEN, HE PROPOSES,
“HOW ABOUT ONE MORE GAME,
...DOUBLE OF NOTHING?”
“I’LL GO FOR THAT!”
SAYS THE PLAYER,
AS SHE IMMEDIATELY STARTS TO
SINK HER SHOTS…
AND FOR A MINUTE,
IT LOOKS LIKE
HE’S GOING TO LOSE IT ALL!…
...BECAUSE…
...SHE’S ALMOST FINISHED SINKING ALL OF HER BALLS!...BUT…
HE LOOKS AT THE LAYOUT
OF THE BALLS
ON THE TABLE,
AND THINKS THAT
HE HAS TO
‘GO FOR BROKE!...AND
...HE SAYS, “EIGHT BALL, SIDE POCKET!”
“YOU MEAN THAT YOU’RE GONNA
FINISH YOUR BALLS
PLUS
THE EIGHT IN ONE SHOT?,”
ASKS ONE PERSON…
HOWEVER
...HSR DOESN’T ANSWER….
...HE JUST PREPARES…
AIMS…AND…
POP!...HE STROKES THE POOL CUE!....
AND WHOA!...
...UNBELIEVABLE!
IMMEDIATELY,
HSR SNEAKILY SMILES,
"IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE
PLAYING!...
...GOTTA GO!
AND HE WALKS TO THE TABLE
TO GET HIS MONEY BACK,
WHICH IS IN FRONT
OF
...BIG BEN!
AND...
...AS QUICK AS HE CAN...HE...
GETS OVER TO HIS
TRUSTY BIKE
AND
GOES ALL OUT!
“Check Your Breath before You
Wreck Your Breath!”
Heeere we go!...
Ladies and Genlemen,
Boys and Girls!...
today,
We shall see
who will take home
the Big Giant
Golden Trophy...Plus
a cool 50,000 Dollars USA!...
As the Certified Winner
of Today's 'Breff Stank' Contest!...
And...
to even qualify
as an Entrant for this Contest...
we take Notorized Referrals from
Friends, Families, Enemies, Hangers-on
and even...
Dentists!
And, We also have
Our very own large Lab
and Staff of Smell Experts and
Halitosis
Scientists to truthfully verify
the noxiousness...
the perniciousness, and the...
'Stankness'
of the offending 'Breffs!'
Yes, Bad Breath is basically Invisible, but
if
it is equated to
visible smoke,
it floats like
a cloud
and can reach the far corners
of any room quickly!
And these people here
are playing with their
cloudy breaths!...
...So is this
Person!...
Bingo!...
Some people have come from
many miles away for
a chance to win...
...like Sammy,
here, who hasn't flossed in months...
"I gotta win that 50 Gs, Man!"
"And Greta, here,
can't stand her own breath anymore,
but wants to win
in the Worst Way!
"I've been downing
a lot of stomach-churning,
crappy, and
anonymous food...because...
I want to help my Family out
and also pay for my
college tuition!"
says Darnell...
"I'm going to buy stuff
and get ready for Halloween,
says Evilia!"
Some people are
representing cartoon characters,
like here,
where some Bad Breath
gets into their nose holes and
lo and behold,
they
react in a predictable,
yet loud manner!"
"And Mr. Spongebob steps up to the breath testers
with a strong confidence
just oozing 'stank'...
...almost like a pile of
'you know what!'"
"I'm gonna get dat 50...
I'm gonna get dat 50!"
"Even
Predator wants to go for
"The Gold!"
"I know that I am going to win,"
says one young lady,
"because
I put garlic on my...
garlic!...But after the show...I'll
have to clean up, because
I have a Date
with my Boyfriend!"
One guy tries to propose
to his girlfriend here...but she doesn't
like is timing!...Or his breath!...
And this character gushes, "With 5 of those 10 G-packs,
I'ma go on a
serious shopping spree at the
Second Life Marketplace!"
"If I win...I'll get
My Mouth fixed so that
my wife and I can get
close like in the old days!"
"When I win,
I'm going to get Plastic Surgery,
so people will take me
more seriously,"
says this entertainer!...
Now, our line of Contestants
are starting
to get tested!
Hopefully, the heat from the thousands of
Breaths doesn't
break
the sensitive equipment.
Some of the testing machines
work very simply, though...
If the machine sensors
detect mild to moderate
Bad Breath,
the inside metals just
warp a little...
But if "horrible and toxic" Breath
comes across those metals...
...the metals
warp and
deform to the Max!...
So, the testing
goes on and on...
and even some "Old School" experts
help out!
And some Students from the
Local Dental School, too,
are 'Eager Beavers!'
Oh, No! This Guy's 'Teeth Jam'
smells a lot like funky
"Toe Jam!"
But
after so much testing...and maxing out!...
...the Sensors and Detectors
finally fatigue out!
So, now, Human Help is
employed to detect those
breaths that deserve...
'Very Dishonorable Mention!'
And,
for some of the Contestants,
we know...
...and can smell...
...what 'The Rock
is Cookin'!'
Things are getting down to the wire now folks!
We now have just three People
left...
...a man called
Mayhem...
...a lady called Francine
and a guy named
Trucker!
The Judge Anna,
a Dental Student from Russia,
eliminates Mayhem,
because
she was
still able to... stand!...no Knock Out!
Now, Francine
actually melts the skin
of one Dental Student!
Poor Guy!...
Then, Trucker's little girl says to Francine,
"You
'Bed Knott'
beat my Daddy's Breath!"
Next.....as every one holds
their collective breaths (thankfully!)
to see who will win...
...the Secret Judge
is brought out...
But Fracine passes the test,
by not making
an end-of-times Stink!
However, when the Judge
tests Trucker's
breath...
which accidentally
and volcanically erupts,
simultaneously, out of
both ends
of Trucker...
after being held in for so long...
...It's not even close!!
...OMGosh!
It looks like
Baby Judge
has just given us
Her clear and Obvious Choice!
...
At last,
the Breff Stank Contest's
Emcee announces:
"Contestant number 15,239,
Mr. Trucker...
...you are judged to have the
'Worst Breath in all the Land!'...
...Congratulations!"
Now,
the Emcee chokes,
"Just take the Trophy
and the Cash and...
get outta my Face!...
...Your Breath is So Bad...
...now, I gotta...
Sorry...Please forgive me!"
And with that,
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Boys and Girls...
We conclude our
Annual "Breff Stank" Contest
with a
New and Deserving Winner...
in our
hotly-contested
Hot Breath-Off!"
"So..until Next Year,
People, same time, and same place...
...and
as we like to say...
"May The
"Breath...
...Be With You!"
Will You
Look at this!
Throngs of People
are
rushing
into the Venue!
"Well Hello,
Ladies and Gentlemen
and Boys and Girls!
And Welcome
to Our
to Our
Second Annual Breff Stank
Contest!"
"This Year
You all now
have a chance
win
a Secured,
Brinks-Truck-
Delivered
Prize of
One Hundred Thousand Dollars!...
For the
'Absolutely-Worst Breath
in the Land!'"
"This amount is
Double that
of
Last Year!"
"Now,
I know that
many People here
today...
...can really use the Big Prize Money
for many things
like Vacations
and School Tuition and
Designer Things or just to
pay the
Bills!"
"And, yes!
This sudden
Cash Infusion
just may help to
bring
Happiness
into Your Life!"
"Ah...People over in the Corner There...
"Ah...People over in the Corner There...
Please...Be Patient!
Everyone gets a chance!"
"But...before we get
started...Are there any
Dentists in the House?"
So, the Testing
is about to
begin...and
and some
People are
Practicing for Perfection!"
"One should hear some of the Stories
of
some of the Entrants in Line:"
"Hi!...I travelled a longways
to get here!"
“My Breath is so bad that My
Teeth Ran Away!’
"I came all the Way from...
Enchantedlandia!"
“I can do this with
just
the Sulfur Vapors
on My Tongue!”
But then,
this Person
steps up to the Breath-o-meter
First...
And...
The 'Caught-by-Surprise'
Crowd Falls Silent!
May you have many...
May you have many...
..."Many Times...
for Clarity,
things need to
'Soak In!'
...Yes...being in 'the thick'
of things
may help to provide us with
some of
the answers that We seek!
But...these
Realizations may not
happen rapidly!...So,...
...for now,
...I'll just
'Enjoy My Immersion!"...
You are invited to explore
Our Pyramids and even write about it
in the Future!
...And I promise that...
...You’ll be Amazed!”...
...”I try to always
leave nothing to Chance!”...
...You’ll be Amazed!”...
...”I try to always
leave nothing to Chance!”...
...“Getting rid of all Bacteria
is an Unwise Move!
We just need to control
their numbers.
Just as there is a New Day,
We renew Our
Cleanliness to remove all 'Gathered Bacteria!'”...
...Smiles!
“Putting our ‘Best Face’ forward
to others is
just the way it is in Society!
And that also means putting
Our ‘Best Breath’ forward, too!”
“No, there’s no
'Tooth Fairy Union'...
...We’re all Entrepreneurs!”
"This 'Treadmill Of Life' Is...
Dental Hygiene Wars!
“Here!
...Take My Sword
as Yours!...
...And Godspeed!”
“My Fires Neutralize those Plaque Acids...
...just Perfectly!”
“I just Love Molar Furcations... .
..because that is where the...
“I was fighting Valiantly
in the Sulcus,
but
then,
My Host,
...Gulped Down a Slurpee!”
“This Sword has been
in My Family
for Generations!
Its as light as a Feather and
it brings Immediate and
Debilitating Fear to
...all Periodontal Pathogens!”
... It’s Much Worse!”
...all Periodontal Pathogens!”
“See!...
...You must be Ready for All things!
Because
in the Actual Trenches...
... It’s Much Worse!”
“Yes!...
...We are on a
...Beautiful Wavelength!”
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