"Hello, Everyone!...
...I'm Here Now!...
Let's get this
Show on The Road!...
..."I ask You All...
This Very Simple
Question!...
Can You tell
a Person's...how should I say this...
Can You tell People's
'Personal Procilivites'
or their
'Orientation,'...
or
...how They 'Swang' just by
checking out how
'They'
Smile?...Any one want to
Comment?"
"Yeah, Sugar!...
How can you tell a
Book By it's
Cover...
if you don't
'Peek between the
Covers?'"
"That's a Fair
Question!...
...Any one else?"
"You...Person!...
How would you like to
be identified?"
"IDK!..That's How...
...'I Don't Know!"
Now... this Person says,
"Well...if You ask Me....
That's for
Me to Know
and...
'Pooof!...
...You to Find Out!"
"Well,
Nobody asked You...
...You...
...You...'Hooligan!"
"Sir...You keep raising Your Hand...
is there
something you'd
like to Say?"
"Yes!...I'm 'Coming out
of the Closet!...And,
I'm
Str...Str...Str...
Str...Straight!..."
"Well...You could hardly
get it out!...
But...for some reason,
I believe You!
...Con-
gratulations, Sir!"...
"Honey!...Look at Me...I want To
say something!...
...You've got to
'Open Your Eyes'
to other Facial and Body cues
to tell if they are...
...you know...
...if they are...
'Proud to Be!'...Yeah!...
...That's Right!
Oh...and Hi there
All My Lovely and Adoring Fans!..."
"Don't Hog the Spotlight, Okay!...
We all Know You!...
I think that
This One
has something pertinent to say!...
...Let
Loose, Sister!"
Thank You, RuRu!
I think that all Smiles
just show the Teeth...you know...
but...
We need to know what's up
with
the Smiler's Thoughts!
They could be just
Innocently Happy and Gay!...So What!...
Or...
They could be
'Holding Back Information,'
or straight up
Lying!
And they might have
Evil
Thoughts!...Watch out!...
And Remember...
a 'Sneer' is
'Just a Couple of Millimeters'
different
from a Smile!...
But, I can sometimes tell
which Way Some People 'Swang'
just by looking at
how 'They' use 'They Mouths!'"
"You make some Valid Points,
Girl!"
“I might not be able to tell
the ‘Orientation’ of All Humans
just by checking their Smiles,
but,
I can tell ,
with 100% accuracy...
...what ‘Second Lifers’ are all about!”
“Do you think that HSR
knows about Us?...Should We tell Him?...
...Does He even Care?”…
“Good!...Nobody knows Who, What, or...
...'Which'… …I Am!”
Hey, You
Two!...
...No Bite
Fighting In Here!...
Stop it!...
Right Now!"
“That’s why I don’t Smile
that much!...
...I don’t want to...
...get ‘Busted!’”
"Well...I think that
we are
what we eat, and drink,
and we are what we talk about
and think
and...we are what
We Do!...And Our Smiles Reflect that!"
"OMGosh!...
I think that
You Just 'Hit The Nail
On The Head!'...That's
Soothing To Know!"....
"Do You know the Best
Three Words that
Your Partner can Say
on the Phone, on
'They'
way over?...
..."I'm Comin', Daaalin'!""
"Oh, Please....
...Spare Me!"
"Hey!...I'd like to say
something!"
"Well, 'Hay's for Horses!'
...And I'm cutting this
Short and Sweet!...
...Come Back for Part
Two, Okay...
...All You Sugars
Out There!"
...
"People!...
...We are returning for
Part Two of..."Can You Tell
what People do...
...with their Private Lives...
...just by looking
at their Smiles?""
"But before we start,
I just want to say Thanks to all of
the support shown by the
hundreds of us in
the Overflow...
outside!"
"Now as you could probably guess, there are
people out there that don't think it's
possible to tell...like this 'One,'
who says,
"You'll Never guess My Identity...
...from My Smile...
...In a Million Years!"
"And another 'One'
says,
"I don't think it's that
important
to know what They do...until...
...the Rubber meets the Road!"
"And a third person reveals,"
"Even after eight tries, you still haven't guessed
What I'm Attracted To!...Forget it!"
Now, all of you folk out there!...
I have a treat for you!...
A real...
Private Eye!...Tell us, Mz. Eye...
...what is...This
Person's Pronoun?"
"Oh, boy," says Mz. Eye, "
...There are at least
two sides to him,
but
I make him out to be
...'Purposefully Ambiguous!'"
"And Mz. Eye,
how
about
this
'One?'"
"Oh, My!...Please give me his number,
and...
I'll get back to you
after more study!"
"Okay, People, I think I know
what she
has in mind!...but
be that ass it may...
We have another
'Orientation Investigator'
in the Studio!..Tell me, Honey,
this One has a nice Smile...what are
his Proclivities!"
"When I see his Smile,
I think of that
phrase...
as Straight as an Arrow!"
"Well how about
this
"One?'"
"I'll tell you
what 'Prognostic Pronoun' he is...right now!... He is
...just what you think he is!"
"And can you tell the
'Orientation' of this
Human?"
"I am picking up some
'Mixed Signals,' but I have my Roommate here!...
...Hey Roommate, can you tell
which type of
Pronoun that
'They'
are attracted to?"
Now,
the roommate says, "There are
too many Curveballs...I...can't...
speak with Certainty!"
The Private Eye then says,
"My Dear Host...Please
put on these glasses...
...they are special...Its Developer says
that they are
'True Orientation Glasses,' to
figure out
How People like to 'Swang!...
...With 99.9% accuracy!...
...Try them on and
tell me the
'System Preferences'
of
this
'One' and
This
'Type!'"
Now,
the Host looks and sees through them and
then
looks at one
and then the
other...and goes,
"These 'Orientation Diagnostic' glasses are
too dangerous for Humanity!...
...Everyone will immediately...
...'Be Busted!'...Well...
that's enough for right now!...
...Thank you everyone
for coming!...
...And...Remember...
You may not be able to tell
everything about someone...from just
looking at
'Their' Smile...
...but...
...It might be Fun finding Out!"
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